Eliminating the middle(wo)man...

[Leslie Langford]

In reading some of the recent threads, it occurs to me that many of us crossdressers appear to have wives or SO's who no longer care (assuming they ever did) about looking what has traditionally been defined as "feminine". They seem to prefer non-descript or baggy tops and pants and rarely, if ever use make-up or try to fix their hair beyond wearing the generic "wash and wear" look.

In fact, the standard Wally World uniform of sweat shirts, jogging or yoga pants and sneakers accessorized by either a fanny pack or a shoulder bag that is carried with about as much aplomb as a courier sack is the current outfit of choice. And all of this in the name of comfort or because everyone is so busy, busy, busy these days with what is often "make-work" that personal grooming has started to take a back seat.

So I ask - aside from the many other reasons why we crossdress - and being the fundamentaly visual male creatures that we are - is part of it not a subconscious attempt to create the ideal woman that we wish we could see reflected in our SO's as well?

[Karren H]

I don't think so... Don't know why I crossdress but since I started dressing at 7... I'd bet it has little or nothing to do with what my wife was going to be wearing...... Way way way in the future...

Just because we dress the inverse of someone else doesn't make them related.. More likely we dress the same as someone else could be an underlying factor... But then again.. I could care less why...

[KellyCD]

I see that alot these days and it makes me want to puke.

I'm not saying that you have to ALWAYS be made up but for god sakes it your gonna leave your hair down BRUSH IT!!!!!11!!1 I get that you don't care how you look and your NOT trying to be attractive and all but c'mon your hair is MATTED! BRUSH THAT ISH!!!

Apparently, some (small %) women figured that taking a shower isn't necessary either. I was behind one women about 2 weeks ago in a checkout line that was ok looking, kinda cute face, slim. She obviously wasn't trying to be attractive or anything by her wardrobe. But she smelled GROTESQUE!!! :puke:

In my field we are not the nicest people in the world (it's just how we live) I couldn't contain myself, I had to say something to her. I wasn't anywhere near nice when I told her along the lines of "you smell like a dag fart mixed with AXE(body spray FOR MEN), go take a f****** shower". She just kinda shrugged it off until the guys in front of her backed me up and told her that she reeked as well!

I don't care who you are, where you live,what you do for a living or how "hard" you "work", how you dress , if your trying to look good, or if you've just got on some $1.99 sweats you found at the thrift shop- personal hygiene should NEVER take a back seat to ANYTHING!

Just because you think that's how guys do it (yeah men arn't excused from this rant either!!) doesn't make it ok. Take some freaking pride in yourself and WASH yourself!



GRRRRR ok I'm done.

[Kristen Kelly]

I don't think so... Don't know why I crossdress but since I started dressing at 7... I'd bet it has little or nothing to do with what my wife was going to be wearing...... Way way way in the future...

Just because we dress the inverse of someone else doesn't make them related.. More likely we dress the same as someone else could be an underlying factor... But then again.. I could care less why...

I agree with Karen, but what is pretty sorry is the fact to blend we have to dress down, if I'm going out to a club or a nice dinner is the only time I get to get dressed up, other than that I dress to blend in jean's nice top and sneakers or flats, but I still try to do it in style with nice jacket or bag or a low cut top, I want to be different but not so much as to be the black sheep in the flock.

[Karren H]

I agree with Karen, but what is pretty sorry is the fact to blend we have to dress down, if I'm going out to a club or a nice dinner is the only time I get to get dressed up, other than that I dress to blend in jean's nice top and sneakers or flats, but I still try to do it in style with nice jacket or bag or a low cut top, I want to be different but not so much as to be the black sheep in the flock.


YOU dress down, girlfrend... NOT me!!! hahaha I'm typicaly the only person in a store in a dress or a skirt!!! :)

[Trista]

Well I can say since my SO told me about his CDing and we have gone on many shopping trips together I have taken a notice to my own wardrobe. I look in the closet and see jeans, stretch pants, sweats, t-shirts, sweatshirts, etc. So yesterday when getting ready to head to my parents house for Thanksgiving dinner I went through several outfits before I chose one that look semi nice. I have discovered I don't have many nice clothes at all. I wear scrubs to work and the rest of the time just what is in my closet.

So since we have gone shopping for my SO and getting really nice outfits I have taken a notice to mine and want to start buying nicer clothes for me.

The reason why I stopped wearing nothing but the jeans, sweats etc etc is because I didn't care. I was comfortable and my ex-husband was always wearing the same thing too. Plus he had issues with me dressing nice and other men seeing me that way which is one of the many reasons he is my ex.

I used to just get up in the morning and pull my hair back and just go but now I fix it everyday and put some make-up on too. It makes me feel very good to do that. My SO's CDing has opened my eyes and made me want to care more about myself.

[KellyCD]

.....I have discovered I don't have many nice clothes at all.....

My wife kinda did that as well. She was(and still is to a point) a t-shirt and jeans girl.




..... he had issues with me dressing nice and other men seeing me that way....


I'm the exact opposite. I'd rather have my wife go out looking nice then to have her going out looking like she just rolled outta bed. But that's selfish of me(I admit it) because it stems from being embarrassed because when I dress (boy mode) their is no "just rolled outta bed" look for me. I always end up over dressing for everything. I'll get under and work on my car in a cashmere sweater, nice jeans and Timberland shoes. I don't care.

I grew up with no money and always looked second hand compared to the other kids. I mean like having to wear the same stuff year after year because my mother would spend all the money she had on drugs. So now that I have money of my own, I either look like James Bond or I don't leave the house.

[TommiTN]

Well I can say since my SO told me about his CDing and we have gone on many shopping trips together I have taken a notice to my own wardrobe. I look in the closet and see jeans, stretch pants, sweats, t-shirts, sweatshirts, etc. So yesterday when getting ready to head to my parents house for Thanksgiving dinner I went through several outfits before I chose one that look semi nice. I have discovered I don't have many nice clothes at all. I wear scrubs to work and the rest of the time just what is in my closet.

So since we have gone shopping for my SO and getting really nice outfits I have taken a notice to mine and want to start buying nicer clothes for me.

The reason why I stopped wearing nothing but the jeans, sweats etc etc is because I didn't care. I was comfortable and my ex-husband was always wearing the same thing too. Plus he had issues with me dressing nice and other men seeing me that way which is one of the many reasons he is my ex.

I used to just get up in the morning and pull my hair back and just go but now I fix it everyday and put some make-up on too. It makes me feel very good to do that. My SO's CDing has opened my eyes and made me want to care more about myself.

What a breath of fresh air!! Do you have any sisters? :D

[TGMarla]

Again, Karren's got a point. Since I started well before the thought of having a SO in my life even entered my mind, i'm sure the whole dressing thing has little to do with how my wife dresses. She used to dress up all the time. Real eye candy. But even though she rarely wears anything nice these days, I dress because I like to, not so much because I'm missing seeing her in a dress.

And let's not confuse not dressing nicely with a lack of personal hygiene. Slobs will be slobs. The woman that Kelly referenced excersized poor personal habits despite the fact that she was unclean. I'm sure that if she were to dress up, she probably would have bathed. Her lack of personal cleanliness would have manifested itself in other ways.

[avril findlay]

Being in a company of GGs and the only one wearing a skirt and some makeup!

[KellyCD]

And let's not confuse not dressing nicely with a lack of personal hygiene. Slobs will be slobs. The woman that Kelly referenced excersized poor personal habits despite the fact that she was unclean. I'm sure that if she were to dress up, she probably would have bathed. Her lack of personal cleanliness would have manifested itself in other ways.


Your right, I'm sorry for ranting as I did but sometimes one leads to another. You can't help but admit but the two are related to a point.

[MJ]

from my point of view being full time i can tell you it's a pain in the rear to get all that makeup on and try wearing a skirt in -15 degree weather.
as a cd'r you may only have a chance once a month try dressing everyday. i am comfortable with myself i have nothing to prove. give me jeans and a comfey sweater anytime.. :love:

[Sarah Martin]

I don't think that this is the case for me...I've always dressed as a 'girly-girl' before I had any serious female/SO entanglements - so it didn't matter what others wore.

[ggtracy]

I am a GG and I have a wide variety of styles of clothing, makeup and accessories. there are many factors that influence how someone dresses/looks. The time of day, the activity, the weather, how they are physically feeling, caring for ill family members etc. The list goes on and on and so does life.


wearing sweats/no makeup to walmart once in a while doesn't make me less of woman.

[Trista]

What a breath of fresh air!! Do you have any sisters? :D

Two older brothers. So growing up I never got hand me downs. My mom would always dress me in beautiful girl clothes. I always liked to dress nice growing up. It is just when I met my ex that I stopped caring about it.

[Leslie Langford]

Well I can say since my SO told me about his CDing and we have gone on many shopping trips together I have taken a notice to my own wardrobe. I look in the closet and see jeans, stretch pants, sweats, t-shirts, sweatshirts, etc. So yesterday when getting ready to head to my parents house for Thanksgiving dinner I went through several outfits before I chose one that look semi nice. I have discovered I don't have many nice clothes at all. I wear scrubs to work and the rest of the time just what is in my closet.

So since we have gone shopping for my SO and getting really nice outfits I have taken a notice to mine and want to start buying nicer clothes for me.

The reason why I stopped wearing nothing but the jeans, sweats etc etc is because I didn't care. I was comfortable and my ex-husband was always wearing the same thing too. Plus he had issues with me dressing nice and other men seeing me that way which is one of the many reasons he is my ex.

I used to just get up in the morning and pull my hair back and just go but now I fix it everyday and put some make-up on too. It makes me feel very good to do that. My SO's CDing has opened my eyes and made me want to care more about myself.
What a refreshing attitude, Trista!

I think part of the reason why my wife is so lukewarm towards my crossdressing and so far has refused to meet "Leslie" in person is that she fears being in competition with her and in some ways is intimidated by that prospect.

She already knows how extensive a wardobe Leslie has, and despite acknowledging that I have an excellent sense of style (not my words - compliments from SA's too numerous to count, especially when I am shopping in drab), refuses to let me buy her female clothing as Christmas, birthday presents etc. Her excuse is that I might be buying the identical items for myself in my size, and that would be just too "creepy" for her. That is hardly the case in reality, as we each have our own personal styles, and what looks good on Leslie would not necessarily suit my wife, and vice versa.

It's a shame, actually. Many times when I am shopping for Leslie I will spot an item which would look just great on my wife, but I have to pass it up because of this "rule".
Sure, it leaves more money to spend on Leslie, but it also makes me feel guilty and ashamed for indulging my feminine side to the extent that I do. Which brings us back to my wife's frequent accusations that I pay more attention to Leslie than I do to her, and that Leslie is the proverbial unseen presence and "fifth wheel" in our relationship - perhaps even a "mistress" in some ways, in her eyes. A "no-win" situation and very frustrating at times.

As a GG, how to you deal with this particular issue?

[Janet Bern]

As more and more woman are moving into pants, sweats and sneakers, I can see a day when the only people wearing skirts and dresses with nice makeup will be CD's and TS's .. then the fun is gone

[Cari]

My idea of the ideal woman is a really intelligent natural beauty, you know the gals who just look great with no makeup and hair up in a ponytail. However thats a look I cant recreate for myself. A more polished look works for me because I need allot more polishing.

In my case Im trying to create the ideal women that I can become for a short time. Femininity is more than than the clothes and makeup, since I didnt get a full dose; that outward expression becomes more important for me.

I think the casual look is a "fashion trend", like all trends some folks go overboard and have gone right from casual to sloblike. I notice that in male mode I have allot more jeans than dress pants these days. I havent used any product in my hair since the early 90's and don't think twice about going out on a weekend without shaving. So I guess Im guilty as well.

Cari

[Jess_cd32]

I don't think so... Don't know why I crossdress but since I started dressing at 7... I'd bet it has little or nothing to do with what my wife was going to be wearing...... Way way way in the future......

Started at 7-8 also and agree w/ Karrens summation.

My SO is different than what the OP is obseving about some SO's, she's all done up no matter where she may go, including an emergency room once were I had to wait to take her so she could do her makeup first:brolleyes:

I have noticed though alot of girls now in their 20's seem like they could care less what they look like, more so now than in the past.

[Trista]

What a refreshing attitude, Trista!

I think part of the reason why my wife is so lukewarm towards my crossdressing and so far has refused to meet "Leslie" in person is that she fears being in competition with her and in some ways is intimidated by that prospect.

She already knows how extensive a wardobe Leslie has, and despite acknowledging that I have an excellent sense of style (not my words - compliments from SA's too numerous to count, especially when I am shopping in drab), refuses to let me buy her female clothing as Christmas, birthday presents etc. Her excuse is that I might be buying the identical items for myself in my size, and that would be just too "creepy" for her. That is hardly the case in reality, as we each have our own personal styles, and what looks good on Leslie would not necessarily suit my wife, and vice versa.

It's a shame, actually. Many times when I am shopping for Leslie I will spot an item which would look just great on my wife, but I have to pass it up because of this "rule".
Sure, it leaves more money to spend on Leslie, but it also makes me feel guilty and ashamed for indulging my feminine side to the extent that I do. Which brings us back to my wife's frequent accusations that I pay more attention to Leslie than I do to her, and that Leslie is the proverbial unseen presence and "fifth wheel" in our relationship - perhaps even a "mistress" in some ways, in her eyes. A "no-win" situation and very frustrating at times.

As a GG, how to you deal with this particular issue?

Since my SO told me about his CDing I have wanted to be included in everything. When we are online we look at wigs, make-up, clothes etc. We go shopping together to get fabulous clothes for him. I have to admit though since I have wanted to get more clothes for me I have been a little jealous just shopping for him. LOL. Plus I would have no problem with him buying me some clothes but the issue with that is my size varies so we go shopping together.

The thing is with me I want to be included in his CDing and I don't get jealous of "Rachel". I have told him once he gets his look down I wanted the both of us to go out to dinner, movie etc. A night out on the town just the girls. LOL

[izzfan]

Hmm... seeming as I have never had a SO/partner, that is one less thing for me to worry about.

I wouldn't say that all women wear tracksuits etc... but I can see why, because although I like doing make-up (even though I'm not very good at it) and choosing a nice outfit on the few occasions I go out "En Femme" (usually halloween/ fancy dress parties/pub crawls), I could imagine that it would get tedious/annoying if you had to do it every day.

That aside, it does seem a bit of a shame that a lot of people, both male and female seem to go for the whole tracksuit thing (Yes, I'm all for androgyny in clothes but I don't really like tracksuits much) as it really doesn't look nice and in the UK at least, it is often associated with the whole "Chav" thing. Call me a snob if you want but I think the only time it looks good to wear a tracksuit is if you are going to/from or playing sports.

I don't know if my CDing is in any way trying to emulate a feminine "ideal" - maybe I am trying to look like how I would want to personally look like if I was female etc... Also, I like wearing skirts/ dresses and find them a lot more comfortable and beautiful/stylish than trousers but I can see why very few women wear them in winter (because, even when wearing tights, it can still be freezing cold).

As for the comments about washing etc... I remember someone once saying that "female" deoderants don't tend to last as long as male ones so this may be a factor. I mean, in "Bob mode" I tend to wear 24-hour lynx/axe (I think it is called "Axe" in the US ?) bodyspray and shower most days but I don't think there are that many 24 hour "female" deoderants. Personally though, the majority of people I've met who've smelt quite bad (I don't usually notice how people smell though) have been guys.

[Kate Simmons]

Absolutely not. I dress the way I do because it's what I like. Live and let live I say as far as style of clothing is concerned. Who someone is as a person has very little to do with how they dress.:)

[Rachel Morley]

So I ask - aside from the many other reasons why we crossdress - and being the fundamentaly visual male creatures that we are - is part of it not a subconscious attempt to create the ideal woman that we wish we could see reflected in our SO's as well?
Not in my case it's not. As others have said I started doing this before I had or was interested in SOs and also in my particular case, my wife always wears makeup, fixers her long hair, and wears cute clothes. Even her jeans and t-shirts are nice ones.


My SO's CDing has opened my eyes and made me want to care more about myself.
My wife is the same. She says being married to a CDer has made her a more girly GG. :D

[suchacutie]

My girlfriend ("his" wife) and I have discussed a lot recently about "look" and "style" for me. A few weeks ago I bought an outfit I really thougt I would like, and when I tried it on it felt ok, but I really didn't think the look was flattering. My GF said that everything you wear should make you feel terrific, that it was even more about the "feel" than the "look" normally but that in my case the two were intertwined.

I, for one, think that we can all dress to look good even if we are in jeans and a T-shirt. A little "day" makeup and casual hair with well-fitting jeans, a T-shirt, and reasonable heels can really look and feel terrific. That's not to say that terribly-high heels, stockings, short skirt, and all the rest doesn't feel great too. So, I think that in the long run we do begin to search for a set of styles and looks that make us feel good and help us to be a part of the world as women. It just takes a long time to figure it all out :)

tina

[Jenna1561]

I live 24/7 as Jenna, except for work which is still pretty much Jenna but without breastforms and with a different hair style. For me personal hygiene is an absolute must and I never go out without at least a little makeup, say a minimum of powder, mascara and lip gloss.

As for clothes, like MJ, though considerably warmer here in TX, I rarely wear skirts or dresses except to church or a more than casual dinner. But I usually dress nice, except when exercising or working in the yard: Jeans, slacks, nice top, nice flats.

I know it takes time, but it's usually worth it. For me a typical routine daily prep takes about 50 minutes. That includes showering, shaving if needed (underarms/legs), moisturizing, drying and styling hair, makeup and dressing. Of course that is provided I know exactly what I'm planning on wearing. If I have to try on a few outfits... well that's going to take a "wee" bit longer. :)


Jenna

[justmetoo]

I am a GG and I have a wide variety of styles of clothing, makeup and accessories. there are many factors that influence how someone dresses/looks. The time of day, the activity, the weather, how they are physically feeling, caring for ill family members etc. The list goes on and on and so does life.


wearing sweats/no makeup to walmart once in a while doesn't make me less of woman.
Quite right! I absolutely understand this. I want to wear a wide variety of styles of clothing, makeup, accessories, too. Sometimes I even want to feel "pretty" (even if I don't look pretty!). :battingeyelashes:



p.s. to Trista - Love your attitude in this! :D

[Sheila]

from my point of view being full time i can tell you it's a pain in the rear to get all that makeup on and try wearing a skirt in -15 degree weather.
as a cd'r you may only have a chance once a month try dressing everyday. i am comfortable with myself i have nothing to prove. give me jeans and a comfey sweater anytime.. :love:
:yt:


I am a GG and I have a wide variety of styles of clothing, makeup and accessories. there are many factors that influence how someone dresses/looks. The time of day, the activity, the weather, how they are physically feeling, caring for ill family members etc. The list goes on and on and so does life.
wearing sweats/no makeup to walmart once in a while doesn't make me less of woman.
:yt:


Absolutely not. I dress the way I do because it's what I like. Live and let live I say as far as style of clothing is concerned. Who someone is as a person has very little to do with how they dress.:)
:yt:
Quote's from A transitioning TG, a GG and a CDR ....... notice any similarities in the above quotes?


Clothing may not maketh the man/woman but it can bing out the B**ch in them:doh:

[ReineD]

... appear to have ... SO's who no longer care (assuming they ever did) ... They seem to prefer non-descript or baggy tops and pants and rarely ... try to fix their hair beyond wearing the generic "wash and wear" look.

In fact, the standard Wally World uniform of sweat shirts, jogging pants and sneakers ... is the current outfit of choice. And all of this in the name of comfort or because everyone is so busy, busy, busy these days with what is often "make-work" that personal grooming has started to take a back seat.


I removed reference to any gender from your post, :) and now it reflects my own complaint about most of the guys I see walking around. They don't seem to care what they look like ... baggy jeans, baseball caps (ick), sneakers, tshirts, sweatshirts. I would love to see more guys make some effort at being stylish!

Brooks Brothers (http://www.brooksbrothers.com/BB_OutfitLanding.process?viewAll=t&Parent_Id=423)
Banana Republic (http://www.bananarepublic.com/browse/category.do?cid=40499)
Le Château (http://www.lechateau.com/en/men-clothes-collection)

I'm posting this to point out the grooming issue is not one sided. ;)
:hugs:

[Leslie Langford]

I couldn't agree with you more, Reine.

I think what we are seeing in the malls these days in the way people dress is just another example of the general "dumbing down" of society that seems to be accelerating, along with the "me, me, me" attitude that is so prevalent everywhere you look.

Integrity, accountability, sacrifice, and putting others' need before ours have become old-fashioned concepts. There seem to be no more rules or standards anymore - all that people seem to care about is what they can get away with, and it is only when they get caught in the act do they suddenly get religion and act contrite, and then only after making a million excuses for why they screwed up.

Sorry for the rant, but as a lifelong crossdresser and the corresponding high regard I have for women and what used to be the femininity they once had no compunction about displaying, I find it appalling that they would now lower their standards of dress and behaviour to come down to the Neanderthal level that many men still exhibit.

It seems that women who dress stylishly and with sophistication (think Catherine Deneuve, Sophia Loren, Meryl Streep etc.) are becoming an endangered species, and we see two predominant styles of dress these days - either skanky 'ho or Wally World "I don't give a rat's a$$" how I look.

Women seem to just want to be one of the boys these days, take great pains to show how "tough" they are, and what often comes out of their mouths would be worthy of a longshoreman (no offense to any longshoremen here intended).

It has come to the point that being a "girly-girl" carries about as much stigma as the word "sissy" used to for boys, and IMHO, the world is a poorer place for it. I am all for equality of the sexes, but there is also a lot to be said for "vive la difference".

[justmetoo]

I removed reference to any gender from your post, :) and now it reflects my own complaint about most of the guys I see walking around. They don't seem to care what they look like ... baggy jeans, baseball caps (ick), sneakers, tshirts, sweatshirts. I would love to see more guys make some effort at being stylish!

Brooks Brothers (http://www.brooksbrothers.com/BB_OutfitLanding.process?viewAll=t&Parent_Id=423)
Banana Republic (http://www.bananarepublic.com/browse/category.do?cid=40499)
Le Château (http://www.lechateau.com/en/men-clothes-collection)

I'm posting this to point out the grooming issue is not one sided. ;)
:hugs:

Thanks for posting that.
I would love to find stylish men's wear that isn't too dressy or too heavy (and I actually do have a few things, but I find very few occasions where they seem appropriate (maybe once every couple of years or so!). It gets pretty warm where I'm at half the year (I mean many days over 100 degrees F) and the rest of the year a shirt and light jacket or sweater are usually more than sufficient (and I sweat too easily!). And as far as dressing "up" (I'm not talking "en femme" here, just dressy men's wear) I would feel just as out of place and stuck out like a sore thumb if I wore any of the outfits in those links at work or most places I go every day as I would going out dressed "en femme" (I'm not much for going out socializing or partying).
The tux pick with the single high button on the jacket looks "wrong" to me, and wouldn't look any better with my figure (not a skinny model like the guys in the pics).

[Melani]

No No No

[Shari]

Thank you so much for your post, Leslie. I started a similar one a couple weeks ago and had it removed while I was also berated for it for "belittling" women. Maybe it's the choice of words and the sentence structure. I'm just glad this is here, and even happier to see some of the replies.
To answer your question, I'm trying to emulate with what I believe is feminine. I dress like I have seen and would like to see women dress again. In general, women today versus women when I grew up are vastly different in their appearance.
It seems so ironic to me that while all of us here would love to have those bodies and to wear some of those styles, as a whole, today's ggs are covered up and hidden away.
I feel cheated by it too, because I've been a girl watcher and a leg man from as far back as I can remember.
Oversize sweat shirts, sweat pants, no makeup.
Ugh!

[julie w]

some examples of my experience
This dressing up does not only apply to women when a women or man
feels they dont need to bother any more some just go for the wally look

Example #1 My ex wife when I meet her she worked in an office dressed up every day , and also when we went out . then we get married out came
the track pants ,after we split she started to dress nice again as she was
trying to find a new job and a new guy

#2 my 50year old sister asked me why she cant meet a nice guy
my answer was grow you hair loose weight and dress like a women
she got really mad with me and started going on about guys

#3 My oldest son is 4th year university he dresses well with jeans shoes and
jacket while his class mates wear pajamas guess who gets good marks
gets awards and asked to help the professors

#4 and Me when I go out with my SO Drab she wont let me where running shoes or wear shabby clothes
and she always wears a skirt
so it takes all kinds

[pink femme]

Although I lead my secret life and have my secret wishes, I have to say my wife is someone who I would love to be like. She is so feminine in everything she does, the way she looks and the way she conducts herself. She spends so much time doing her hair and makeup in the morning......that I just watch with envy and lose track of time:daydreaming:.

My wife is more of a garden party lady than anything else and I salute her for being the classic female I can only deam about being.

Obviously, given that my crossdressing started so many years ago:eek: she wasn't the reason for it.

Princesses and Fairies and all things girly....that's me:daydreaming:

Pinky x

[Angie G]

Very well may be Lesile. When My wife go to a Christmas Party or some such thing we always dress (I in drab) And always go looking our best.:hugs:
Angie

[Kristen Kelly]

Well I can say since my SO told me about his CDing and we have gone on many shopping trips together I have taken a notice to my own wardrobe. I look in the closet and see jeans, stretch pants, sweats, t-shirts, sweatshirts, etc. So yesterday when getting ready to head to my parents house for Thanksgiving dinner I went through several outfits before I chose one that look semi nice. I have discovered I don't have many nice clothes at all. I wear scrubs to work and the rest of the time just what is in my closet.

So since we have gone shopping for my SO and getting really nice outfits I have taken a notice to mine and want to start buying nicer clothes for me.

The reason why I stopped wearing nothing but the jeans, sweats etc etc is because I didn't care. I was comfortable and my ex-husband was always wearing the same thing too. Plus he had issues with me dressing nice and other men seeing me that way which is one of the many reasons he is my ex.

I used to just get up in the morning and pull my hair back and just go but now I fix it everyday and put some make-up on too. It makes me feel very good to do that. My SO's CDing has opened my eyes and made me want to care more about myself.

What a great Thread, but so many interweaved topics flying. Trisa don't change a thing continue doing what you are doing becoming and active GF in what is going on shopping make-up etc, for you and your CD other. It is very healthy and you will not feel like there is another woman between you and your SO. As for your ex-husband he had insecurities and a lack of trust something I had to learn many years ago when I dated an Exotic Dancer from Pittsburgh, we loved each other very much and I had to trust her around other guys hitting on her, as well as she had to trust me being around her GFs with more than 1 hit on me.


I am a GG and I have a wide variety of styles of clothing, makeup and accessories. there are many factors that influence how someone dresses/looks. The time of day, the activity, the weather, how they are physically feeling, caring for ill family members etc. The list goes on and on and so does life.
wearing sweats/no makeup to walmart once in a while doesn't make me less of woman.

Tracy a point well taken without the make-up and clothes CDs are guys, for most it is a must.



What a refreshing attitude, Trista!

I think part of the reason why my wife is so lukewarm towards my crossdressing and so far has refused to meet "Leslie" in person is that she fears being in competition with her and in some ways is intimidated by that prospect.

She already knows how extensive a wardobe Leslie has, and despite acknowledging that I have an excellent sense of style (not my words - compliments from SA's too numerous to count, especially when I am shopping in drab), refuses to let me buy her female clothing as Christmas, birthday presents etc. Her excuse is that I might be buying the identical items for myself in my size, and that would be just too "creepy" for her. That is hardly the case in reality, as we each have our own personal styles, and what looks good on Leslie would not necessarily suit my wife, and vice versa.

It's a shame, actually. Many times when I am shopping for Leslie I will spot an item which would look just great on my wife, but I have to pass it up because of this "rule".
Sure, it leaves more money to spend on Leslie, but it also makes me feel guilty and ashamed for indulging my feminine side to the extent that I do. Which brings us back to my wife's frequent accusations that I pay more attention to Leslie than I do to her, and that Leslie is the proverbial unseen presence and "fifth wheel" in our relationship - perhaps even a "mistress" in some ways, in her eyes. A "no-win" situation and very frustrating at times.


My ex had no fear of being in competition with me. I was able to shop for her as well as her for me. We had some matching tops as well as shoes just never wore them the same time. Did have someone ask 1 time did I wear that top last time out had to explain we weren't the same size. We are still friends but is my ex is my ex because being a CD was fine but couldn't date a TS.