Crossdressing and acceptance

[emmicd]

If you are a crossdresser are you most likely living a secret or so called double life, whatever that means?

If you were open and honest about your secret would you feel different about crossdressing?

Is acceptance important to you or something you dare not consider?

Do you have an outlet to channel your crossdressing or do you remain in the closet?


For me I feel I am kind of living a double life because I am a crossdresser but no one really knows it and I'm not interested in sharing it because it generally is not accepted! Therefore my secret will remain a secret and I will still enjoy dressing!

I enjoy crossdressing but only do it when I am by myself.

I believe I would enjoy dressing and going out with a few others in safe surroundings and remain annonymous about it.


emmi

[Karren H]

I actually love the dualality of my life.... it's kind of cool.... and I accept myself for who I am... and that's the only acceptance I require.....

[Jonianne]

If you are a crossdresser are you most likely living a secret or so called double life, whatever that means?.......

Emmi, for me, I couldn't stand living a secret life, private yes, but not living in fear of being found out. Thanks to my ex who was threating to tell everyone, I went ahead and told most of the important people in my life. That was such a relief to know she couldn't hold that over me. And no one ran me out of town on a rail.

I understand that many cannot do that and I don't necessarly reccommend it, but for me, it worked out to be one of the best things I could have done.

[Nadia-Maria]

For me I feel I am kind of living a double life because I am a crossdresser but no one really knows it and I'm not interested in sharing it because it generally is not accepted!


As for me it is not exactly a matter of a double life, but a matter of what other people are able to bear or understand.

For instance I often feel I am living a double life regarding humour.
You can't count the number of times I don't tell a joke that just comes to my mind, because I feel the people in front of me would possibly not have a sense of humour.

As said late humorist and genious "Pierre Desproges" :
"on peut rire de tout mais pas avec n'importe qui" :tongueout
(you can laugh about every matter, but not in front of whoever)

I feel exactly the same as for crossdressing.
You can tell about it only to the happy few and open-minded people.:love:

[Joanne f]

I think that acceptance plays a big part in how you deal with your life , if you can accept your self then you are comfortable with what you do and if you knew that others accepted what you are then that opens up a hole new way of life .
I don't think that if you are open and honest about cross dressing it makes you feel any different about the cross dressing as such but it will certainly make you feel a lot better about your self.








As for me it is not exactly a matter of a double life, but a matter of what other people are able to bear or understand.

For instance I often feel I am living a double life regarding humour.




Yes you can use humour to lead a double life, you can hide many things with humour , get to understand humour and you get to understand a lot of things .



joanne

[Angie G]

As long as I have the acceptance of my wife that's all i need.:hugs:
Angie

[curse within]

I have came to the point of understanding that I don't understand it..Thats a start..Kinda like being on the Dark side of the moon..Its been a secret...nobodys knows when I do dress...Its been a burden...When I have put dressing in front of other things I should really be doing, like spending quility time with the kids or unfinished projects...It has been comfort.. Dressing takes the stress or relieves the stress of everyday life of does it cause it?

Yea crossdressing is a closet sport for me ,it is frowned upon by religeon and soceity..Most of the time it is only accepted by those who love you..That would also be true in a relationship ..Some (very few) GGs will accept dressing most will not unless you hide it from them and they fall in love with you and then even some do not still accept it.

Yea I am soooo happy being a crossdresser..

[docrobbysherry]

I dress like u do, Emmi, in the closet. For me, CDing is living a fantasy! An exciting, genderbending trip to a place in my imagination! Incredibly, for a few hours at a time, my imagination becomes reality! And, altho I'm still the same "me", I appear to be an entirely different person!:eek:


I think that acceptance plays a big part in how you deal with your life , if you can accept your self then you are comfortable with what you do and if you knew that others accepted what you are then that opens up a hole new way of life .
I don't think that if you are open and honest about cross dressing it makes you feel any different about the cross dressing as such but it will certainly make you feel a lot better about your self.joanne

I agree Joanne. If I could accept my dressing completely, maybe I could be more open about it with others. However, since I don't, how can I expect others to accept it?:sad:

[Intertwined]

If you are a crossdresser are you most likely living a secret or so called double life, whatever that means?

I was except from my immediate family, I have recently come out to most of the people I know.

If you were open and honest about your secret would you feel different about crossdressing?

When I did keep it a secret, 1; always was worried that someone would find out, 2; some small part of me felt that I was doing something I shouldnt be doint

Is acceptance important to you or something you dare not consider?

I believe acceptance is important to everyone, no matter what it is, clothing, ideas, emotions.

Do you have an outlet to channel your crossdressing or do you remain in the closet?

I now do outdoor chores and shopping dresses how ever I want, but, the deal with my wife, is she does not want to see it, so I have to change on my way out the door, and change appon return

[ronnie1951]

I would tend to agree with Emmi. For me it is a private thing. I tried to share once with a previous relationship, and although she didnt seem to mind, I just wasnt real comfortable with it.

[Rachel Morley]

If you were open and honest about your secret would you feel different about crossdressing?
No I wouldn't. I'm a CDer (not TS) and I'm living a partial double life. As far as I am aware, no one at work knows, my mother, father and brother live in another country, and I have decided that it's not relevant to tell them. Being open and honest about my CDing wouldn't be "value-added" to my current situation. I don't feel guilty and so I do what I wanna do, when I wanna do it, and the people that it does impact already know about me and are ok with it.


Is acceptance important to you or something you dare not consider?
It is important to me but only from those people that I care about. i.e. my wife, my friends etc. and these people already accept me.


Do you have an outlet to channel your crossdressing or do you remain in the closet?
I am in the fortunate position of having an accepting and encouraging wife. We are both on the board of a local Transgender social and support group and so I get a lot of opportunity to dress and enjoy the fun parts of my life in girl mode.

[gennee]

My wife and son know I am a Cd. I wanted to tell them and I did. No one else knows and that's how I want it. I don't feel that I'm living a double life and I don't feel guilty about what I do. To me I'm living my own life.

Gennee

:)

[maid phylis]

for me being a crossdresser has been a long ride ,i had been in the closet for many years and no one ever knew about what i did.then i realized that if i wanted to finally get out i had to tell my wife.this was a very big decision and to keep my secret out in the open.now here in new york we are sort of accepted and we do have places to go to and be ourselves with other girls.also leading a double life means that you cant tell your co workers or the boss about yourself.my family knows but they dont like it but i am doing something which i enjoy and they leave me alone.:love:phylisanne

[Jenniferpl]

My wife supports it and that is all that matters to me. :) I have little to no desire to go out in public, so further acceptance is not a big concern.

[suchacutie]

Having my wife's support for the exploration which is Tina is the only necessary acceptance that seems an important part of what I do. My goal is that abilty to have a convincing presentation as a woman, Tina, and to be able to switch back and forth easily. I'm not there yet, but I am working on it quite hard. Once I'm confortable with Tina's presentation, if my wife is interested in some time out in public with Tina, that'd be ok.

tina

[jacques]

hello,
my crossdressing is something that I do in private, not in secret. I do not flaunt it or talk about it in an inapropriate way because it is private. It is just like going to the toilet/lavatory. I do that in private not in secret!
luv to you all,
Jacques

[Rachel B]

I cant help but wonder if the acceptance part of CD'ing is more important to more people than they actually know, or want to admit???

There have only been a handful of people I've met in my life that I would consider to exude so much confidence and control of themselves that others acceptance is of (at a glance) no relevance to them. I also wonder how much of the acknowledgement of acceptance is down to how people see themselves when dressed! :idontknow:

How many CD'ers actually dress how a GG would dress? I feel this is the tightrope CD'ers walk.

If you look like a bloke in a dress, you will be seen as a bloke in a dress, no matter what! Then it becomes a question of how well you feel within yourself to be able to deal/handle the looks/comments etc.....Maybe if the way you dress is attracting the wrong type of attention then that is the thing to look at!

In my experience I have found, when asked in general terms, people want to be accepted for who they are and NOT for what they are! However, this tends to be contradicted when you ask people specific questions. Then the statement seems to be reversed.

Another thing to factor in this is the role confidence plays in all our lives! Confidence comes from a positive state of mind/belief that you are correct in whatever it is you are doing.......To BE confident you need to FEEL positive about what you are doing!

If you believe in your mind you are hiding a secret, the chances are you will project this as a negative in your behaviour, thereby negating any confidence you might think you have.

Something worth considering.......:hugs:

Rachel

[Maria2222]

Good questions Emmi. I've found that I don't really need anyone else's acceptance as long as I can except and enjoy myself. Their thoughts simply don't matter that much to me. It's my life and I'll run it the way I want to. One exception is my wife. I'm glad that she's tolerant of my being a CD.

[Debutante]

I am working at this issue with my self: finding the non-accepting parts, the guilt, shame, anxiety, etc. The better I reach the resolution of these psychic,internal issues, the better I will feel,
But I always want to keep my CDing secree -- except to my wife. I don't want anyone to use it as 'dirt' against me... unfortunately.

[Karen_Ski]

You speak of being in the closet. To me when I came out of the closet it was my acceptance of who and what I am that prompted it. I think once we accept ourselves as who we are then we take the steps that we need to be whole. For some of us that is out and about, for others not.

[lauraabdl]

I have accepted my CDing as a part of my life. The same can't be said for my SO. so I try and live each and every day for myself and keep hopeing that some day CDing will be accepted by the majority and I will still be here to enjoy it.
Laura