Making the women jealous

[Magickman]

It was at a singles dance, at the VFW club.

I was dressed, as usual. Sweater and long (winter) skirt, hoop earrings, cranberry red manicure, high heeled boots, and tights.

Dave, the bartender, took me aside. "Jake," he said, "You are making the women jealous, because you dress better than most of them do."

Most (not all) of the women wear flat shoes, and slacks.

I try to dress well, for my singles dance club events. Cleanliness, grooming, and wardrobe, are all part of my preparation.

Then, the bartender dropped that bombshell on me, suggesting that the women are jealous of my presentation. I present as a man, in dressy women's clothing styles, and high heels.

Should I move downmarket with my look, to avoid upstaging the women?

[Sheila]

It was at a singles dance, at the VFW club.

I was dressed, as usual. Sweater and long (winter) skirt, hoop earrings, cranberry red manicure, high heeled boots, and tights.

Dave, the bartender, took me aside. "Jake," he said, "You are making the women jealous, because you dress better than most of them do."

Most (not all) of the women wear flat shoes, and slacks.

I try to dress well, for my singles dance club events. Cleanliness, grooming, and wardrobe, are all part of my preparation.

Then, the bartender dropped that bombshell on me, suggesting that the women are jealous of my presentation. I present as a man, in dressy women's clothing styles, and high heels.

Should I move downmarket with my look, to avoid upstaging the women?

No Sweetie cos you are not upstaging us ............ maybe get a few more looks because of how you presen,t but upstage No I don't think so:straightface:

[Kelsy]

The pink fog can make us believe all kinds of crazy things:)

Kelsy

[Sara Jessica]

Women often look at one another, admiring or compare features. But when it comes to tg women, the way I see it, there is nothing that makes a gg truly jealous because at the end of the day they will always have scoreboard on us (that they're genetic women).

If these women in the club were truly jealous as suggested, they'd be trying to one-up you with their style of dress. Since they are not, it really must not matter much to them.

[Mollyanne]

GO 4 THE GOLD!!!!! Its' so unfortunate that you would even consider toning it down for the sake of how they felt. We all choose to dress the way we do either "enfemme or drab" but its us that do the choosing. Hon, you dress the way you feel most comfortable in.:2c:

:love: Mollyanne

[Carol A]

Well for what it's worth I always dress casual nice, something my mother always told me " always dress proper and be a lady"

Now as far as the other women goes yes they are jealous as you do look better then them, go girl I am for you. :hugs:

[battybattybats]

Dress however you want Magickman!

And lets not get upset with or critical of Magickman for reporting what Dave the Bartender said! If Dave the Bartender said something offensive, be upset with Dave the Bartender.

I had a GG (Indian-Australian comedien Sandy Ghandi) tell me I looked better than all the GGs of the Womens Comedy Festival even though she read me the instant I walked in the door.

Now whether she was just saying that to be encouraging or whether she was judging my attractiveness as a person, or even by a measure of transgender-attractiveness seperate from male or female attractiveness rather than as a woman because clearly I didn't pass at the time or whether she was just judging my taste in clothes is unknown. Next time she does a show in my town I'll ask her. I barely got a word in at the time as she regailed me with anecdotes about a person she used to know that she later found out had SRS and signed a copy of her book to me and heaped encouragement on me for going out.

While the comments of Dave and Sandy can be felt to be quite insensitive and offensive to many GGs and understandably so, I think that those who make these staements are often just trying to be supportive and encouraging. Or they are finding TGs attractive because they are TGs with TG attractiveness not despite the fact they are TGs because of passing as a highly attractive woman.

[KellyCD]

"You are making the women jealous, because you dress better than most of them do."



As soon as I read that, I remembered how many "I just don't care how I look" posts I've seen recently. Sure you don't care how you look, UNTIL someone else walks in looking better than you.

Don't you dare feel inappropriate and dress down just because you spent that extra 10 mins(or an hour lol) to look better than them. It's NOT YOUR FAULT for how they dress.

[serinalynn]

For what its worth here is my:2c: worth: Lets see the dance at the VFW Club, that sounds kind of rural community setting and that all the GG women were in slacks and flats means a cool climate. Having grown up in a rural seting, I don't believe that it would be uncommon for the GG's to wear slacks
more for warmth that to look sexy and this VFW dance being very informal anyway. Dave the Bartender musts obviously know that Majickman is a CDer, and wasn't surprised to see his friend dressed as a woman.

If your going out presenting yourself as a woman, acting like a woman, doing all the things women do, then you will be in competition with all the other natural women there. With all the GG women there in slacks and flat shoes, it doesn't sound like there were any really hot guys there for any of those GG women to pick up on.

[Jenna1561]

I present as a man, in dressy women's clothing styles, and high heels.

Let's not overlook the OP's comment above. He is not presenting as a woman, but as a MAN dressed in women's clothing. I'm assuming No padding, NO makeup, NO wig, NO practiced mannerisms, NO practiced voice manipulation.

I don't think they were competing with and seeing him as another woman, but perhaps were just comparing outfits. Don't know, just my thoughts.


Jenna

[Magickman]

Thank you for your comments about jealous women!

Now please allow me to fill in some details in my story.

The locality where all the action takes place is Minneapolis/ St. Paul, Minnesota, a sprawling midwestern American metroplex of three million people.

The VFW club is just a suburban venue for hire, that my dance club, "Havin' A Ball," rents for some of our events.

The dance parties are events with live music and usually #150-#300 attendees, pretty evenly split between men and women.

Clothing styles for men and women vary from beach casual to very dressy and put together. Most folks are somewhere in between.

The crowd is middle aged, middle class, middle Americans. Quite conservative, and not too flamboyant. I stand out like a peacock in a turkey flock.

Dave the bartender is a bit of a joker, as am I. Otherwise, what would I be doing dressed up at the VFW?

Dave's comment about me making the women jealous was so memorable, that I simply had to share it here.

The more usual comments I get are from the women, themselves, who directly express their envy of my well shaped legs.

I DO NOT attempt to pass as a woman.

But when I am dressed, and show some leg, I get a lot more attention from the women.

I am just another nondescript shorter guy, who used high heels to get taller, and then decided that the heels, and my legs, demanded a more expressive wardrobe. I am semi-muscular, and on the dance floor, I have been known to toss some of the smaller women airborne, and to spin all the women like tops.

I honestly don't know if any of the women complained to Dave the bartender, that I was dressed better than they were. If so, they should upgrade their wardrobes.

Almost always, I dress up for the dance club events, and my proclivities are generally tolerated if not universally admired.

Some of the women suggest I go further, with my style, (makeup and fishnets) but I have not gone there, yet.

Meanwhile, I have been having great fun, on the dance floor.

[docrobbysherry]

Me talking about going out dressed, and comparing how a CD looks compared to GGs, would be akin to me talking about the Lebanese exodus! Since I have no experience with either.

However, I CAN say, " Good for u Magickman". U were OUT THERE, at least!:thumbsup:
I just think u should dress how u r comfortable dressing!:)

[Sheila]

Magickman,, glad u are having fun and can see both sides of the coin ......... have a good one next time :)

[Alice Torn]

I'm sorry, but, i need to ask- were you wearing a wig, or your own hair long, or male mode above the shoulders?

[sterling12]

My guess is that he was trying to tell you "in a nice way," that some women are complaining! And, it might not necessarily be about your clothes, but that's possible.

So, you can chock it up to "The Fashion Police," and ignore it, or try to figure out what the problem really is, and try to correct it. Next time your in, talk to Dave Guy-to guy and see if he will give you the true complaint. Then, you can figure out what to do.

Peace and Love, Joanie

[Angie G]

No keep being yourself I they have a problem with it they can upgrade there look you may be doing the dance a big favor hun.:hugs:
Angie

[Rachel Morley]

I doubt the women actually jealous per se .... I think that was just Dave's perception of how he felt the women "might" feel because he maybe thinks you look good in womens clothes. Although, I take your point about nice legs. I know several women who have told me they are envious (jealous?) of some crossdressers legs. :)

[victoriamwilliams1]

I doubt the women actually jealous per se .... I think that was just Dave's perception of how he felt the women "might" feel because he maybe thinks you look good in womens clothes. Although, I take your point about nice legs. I know several women who have told me they are envious (jealous?) of some crossdressers legs. :)

I agree :) He may be interested n you himself.

[Magickman]

"I'm sorry, but, i need to ask- were you wearing a wig, or your own hair long, or male mode above the shoulders?"

No wig. My hair is blonde and quite short-- pixie cut.

[waspookie6]

I doubt the women actually jealous per se .... I think that was just Dave's perception of how he felt the women "might" feel because he maybe thinks you look good in womens clothes. Although, I take your point about nice legs. I know several women who have told me they are envious (jealous?) of some crossdressers legs. :)

Not speaking for all gg's but I think Rachel may have defined Dave the bartenders perception. Heck, he himself may have been complimenting you without the finger pointing at his own chest.

I would have to say there are quite a few legs that look great - not jealous - just complimenting someone has nice looking gams.

[Nicki B]

I remember a couple of friends at mine, in the top floor restaurant in the Harvey Nicholls store in Knightsbridge, being asked by a group of GGs at an adjacent table if they'd mind moving - as the guys on the table the other side, were only looking at the two trans-girls... :D

[serinalynn]

Well Majickman sounds like you had fun doing the "dance" at the VFW. I'm glad you had a memorable time there. Did any of the girls hit on you? Just courious.:daydreaming:

[Magickman]

"Did any of the girls hit on you? Just courious."

That is another funny story.

I am a single guy, and I like to dance. Not all the time, but once or twice a month, I enjoy going out to a singles dance party, with a live band.

So that is what I did, last night.

At the party, a woman named Sue approached me, and asked me to dance. I agreed.

Of course, I was dressed, so she was asking the guy in a skirt and heels to dance with her.

We danced, both fast and slow, for a number of tunes, and then sat down to relax.

I should note that the nearly all the folks at these events just love to dance, and that the parties are also a hotbed for romance.

Sue was a great dancer, and had a very pleasant personality. I was considering asking her for a date.

Then, the hammer fell.

In conversation, Sue admitted to being married, and she said her non-dancing husband approves of her going out alone, to drink, and to dance with (strange) men.

I will admit to being slightly taken aback by the turn of events.

Assuming that Sue was telling the truth, she was out playing the field, while her husband was back at home.

I am wondering if Sue will tell this story to her husband, and if he will ever let her go out dancing, by herself, again.

One last thing. By going out to singles events while dressed, I never have to worry about the women discovering my secret. Because, there is no secret. I am totally public about it.

[battybattybats]

Then, the hammer fell.

In conversation, Sue admitted to being married, and she said her non-dancing husband approves of her going out alone, to drink, and to dance with (strange) men.

I will admit to being slightly taken aback by the turn of events.

Assuming that Sue was telling the truth, she was out playing the field, while her husband was back at home.

I am wondering if Sue will tell this story to her husband, and if he will ever let her go out dancing, by herself, again.

There are a lot of swingers and open relationships out there. I know a few couples where the husband is more than happy for their wife to sleep with both men and women. Some husbands even like to watch. And it's not that the husband doesn't have the same opportunity in those relationships, they just genuinely prefer for the wife to be active like that and themselves not.

The real world is so very different from the way it appears on the surface and the way it is considered to be.


One last thing. By going out to singles events while dressed, I never have to worry about the women discovering my secret. Because, there is no secret. I am totally public about it.

Thats a darn good point!

[Kristen Kelly]

As soon as I read that, I remembered how many "I just don't care how I look" posts I've seen recently. Sure you don't care how you look, UNTIL someone else walks in looking better than you.
Don't you dare feel inappropriate and dress down just because you spent that extra 10 mins(or an hour lol) to look better than them. It's NOT YOUR FAULT for how they dress.

I always look the best I can and over the 3 years I'm been out have refined my look that I blend very well but yes out in the TG clubs there are always people that look better than me, but I know it's my confidence in myself that will take ME that step farther.

[Satrana]

The crowd is middle aged, middle class, middle Americans. Quite conservative, and not too flamboyant. I stand out like a peacock in a turkey flock.


If there were jealous women that that would be the reason why. You were getting more attention than they were....

As for Dave he was almost certainly commenting on the fact that he (and other men) appreciated your feminine appearance but could not say so directly to avoid any gay reference.

Good for you for going out and being yourself and not trying to blend into the shadows. That makes you a true crossdresser.:hugs: