male admirers

[Shiny]

In visiting the various chat rooms (cd/ts sites mostly but a few mainstream) I have been noticing for quite some time that there seems to be a moderate number of men out there who are seeking a CD type of "lady." And, many for a long-term-relationship.

I am sure there are as many levels and reasons why a man would like to meet up with a CD as there are for reasons why a CD engages in his particular practice/fetish. If anyone could add some serious thoughts to this thread it would be interesting to see if there is a consensus.

I have thought up a few reasons and have actually asked a few men why they prefer the CD type. I got several answers:

Men seek CD's because they act and dress more feminine than most GG women these days.

Men seem to like the retro-fem outfits, the 50's style dresses, the seamed stockings the stiletto heels, and the fussy makeup and hairdos. Women don't dress that way anymore and what once was typical daily dress in that golden age is mainly thought of as "fetish" wear nowadays.

Or are men who seek CD's actually gay and using the ruse of dating a CD to soften the fact that even though they appear to be dating a woman they are actually dating a man. Is this a way for them to satisfy their urges without the mental anguish, i.e. credible deniability?

Or are some men just "experimenting?" (This one I don't buy.)

[TxKimberly]

I can't speak for the "why" but I would caution you that most (not all) of the admirers I've met give me the creeps. And no, it has nothing to do with my sexual preference being for women, they just tend to be a bit creepy.

[Alice Torn]

Shiny, Great legs! Kimberley- It is a bit scary, or creepy, most often. I came very close to meeting some, but caution and fear ruled. Shiny, I totally agree with your post on this. All of the reasons for the admirers are true. A lot of men are starved for a dolled up type of lady, that is available, as that earlier era look is so rare as gold, today, and so many men have unmet needs, and so many of us look gorgeous. The gay thing may not be so common. Bisexuals, and just experimenting, are common. I have been hit on, many times, by guys, on the internet! Almost met some, who seemed more ok. I think they do like a lot of the looks we present' high heels, hose, dresses, skirts, hair, lipstick, past era looks. It is creepy, often, but most "normies" think we are creepy.

[StaceyJane]

I don't really like to chat with male admirers. They do seem creepy.

[Sallee]

I find them kind of creepy too. I am sure some are nice but I haven't given them enough time nor do I plan to. Like must guys (LOL) they just want one thing so I leave them be

[sterling12]

Long term relationship? We must be meeting different "admirers." Most of them that I run into are interested in something quick out in The Parking Lot.

Put me down for a "creepy" vote also, about 98% of the time.

Peace and Love, Joanie

[jennifer41356]

I find that they want to be with you only for sex and they never want to be seen in public with you, so yea i find them creepy as well:eek:

[Angie G]

Admirers have nothing I'm interested in.:hugs:
Angie

[Nadia-Maria]

My latest french admirer gave these 3 reasons :

. being fascinated for people located at the limit of both worlds and oscillating between both (but he feels no interest in people negating their male self)
. as a rule trannies are more feminine at dressing and make-up than GGs.
. sexual attirance, perhaps due to a closer complicity than with a GG.

_____

More about male admirers :

I just like corresponding with everybody interested in Trans issues, and of course I have had wonderful conversations with a great deal of sisters. :hugs:

I regularly receive warm messages from male admirers, and instead of accepting their own agenda, I try to make them answer my questions about trans issues and my requests about describing accurately themselves for showing the personal and social "values" they do promote, and the goals they pursue in life. :battingeyelashes:

I must say, I have yet to meet the first guy who won't run away as fast as he can, in order to avoid answering my naive questions. The male admirer quoted above made no exception, though he declared himself to be very happy initiating a correspondence with me. :sad:

[Vicki65]

Surely if a male is interested in a CD from a sexual point of view, he MUST be gay or at least Bisexual? There's no way around that in my opinion.

A CD (I'm using a broad brush, but not counting those transitioning medically here) is a genetic male in female attire, surely? Therefore, a 'sexual' admirer wishes to have some sort of sexual relations with another male and is possibly just using the fact that the male is dressed as a female as a means of denial that he is really gay?

[Samantha B L]

I've posted about this several times over the years. I had a good old boy type of freind when I lived in Southern Illinois and he was also kind of a braggart about big money deals he was about to get into and they NEVER came through. I went out on a limb and I told him I was a "Transvestite"(you girls will have to excuse the term. This was over 25 years ago and "crossdresser" was just barely coming into use)and I told him as long as you're getting rich I was hoping you could buy like $300-$400 worth of clothes and stuff for me.

It proved to be a big mistake for me to have told him that. I then slowly found out he was one of those CD admirers and he used me for sex on several ocaisions. I thought I would try it to see if I liked it and it was like wrestling whales and rhinosauruses. I never enjoyed it or got used to it. I am a hetero m to f and I tried to explain that to the guy! So I moved a couple of times and I didn't contact him with the new address or phone number. And that was it.


But actually,I don't mind an ocaisional male admirer as long as they realize I'm hetero. Of course,there are a lot of hetero admirers of crossdressing. One time about 20 years ago I went to a male cosmetologist to have some wigs styled and I knew he was straight since he had a wife and kids yet he was a very respectable aficinado and admirer of all things TG/TS/CD and I was comfortable dealing with him


But I usually prefer to be waited on by women when I'm buying wigs or makeup,clothes or anything else. but CD's should be careful because some guys expect a "Transvestite" to do certain things!

[lynn2c]

I've run across quite a few "admirers" and yes they can be creepy. The conversations are not much different than I hear from my daugters when someone comes on to them. Could it be that alot of men are just creepy whether going after a Cd, or a GG or what ever. I'm thinking so...why I hang out with women alot more than men.

[victoriamwilliams1]

I have only found a few that are not creepy and those are the ones that hang out with us in the club scene. I met one and it was the longest 5-10 minutes of my life and he begged for my panties then my hose! I said no then he begged fora kiss and to get out I said yes just so I could get back home, I told him up font I only had a few minutes due to me having to goto work.

Yes most of them are creeps and thats why the creepy ones i single re still single.

[Sandra Dunn]

All these post are very correct. I don't met with guys from any chat room, at least not yet anyway. I have met some guys at different clubs and they are more curious and the fact I wear a nice big wedding ring keeps them at bay.
I've had more contact with women. They all usually ask the same questions relating to SRS. I remember one that danced with me and I must of been her first TG she had ever see up close let alone dance close together.
Since I'm a bellydancer I'm used to dancing alone and it doesn't bother me that I get very few request to dance with someone.
If I found myself single again, I don't think I'd use the chat rooms, I'll just look around the freinds I know and see if anyone else is single.

HUGS Sandra

[tamarav]

I have to agree that most male admirers are creepy. I have met a number over the years and they all seem to either be fascinated by the "mystery" that is under all my clothes or they are just looking ot be noticed themselves for having a CD with them.

Many are just "fogged" up by their own testoterone, so much so that they tend to forget that they are supposedly straight.

[Cari]

I think admirers should get as much respect as they give and I try to keep an open mind, but it can be difficult.

I have real basic rule of thumb, treat me like I treat women I ask out and Ill consider it a compliment and be very nice. Having been the guy who got shot down in the bar a few times, I think I'm nicer than most GG's about it. After all what bigger compliment could I get than being asked out.

I've also met stylists or folks in the business who are admiring or curious for completely non sexual reasons (Yeah it can be a let down, a really attractive lady was staring once I was hoping she would ask what I look like when I'm not dressed and all I got was thats a really nice wig for you :sad: She was a hair stylist.)

What I find really creepy is getting an e-mail with a nude pic attached. The real reason it bugs me is because I would never think of doing that to anyone I didnt know real well, and most likely wouldnt anyways. If a woman did that to me Id most likely be wondering what STD's I could catch here.

Its also weird when they just start talking about sex right away. I'd never think of doing that, mainly because it just doesn't work.

cari

[Sally24]

There are some sweet guys out there that are also admirers. We have a couple of regulars with our Boston group and they are great. That being said, many of the others are a little different and if they weren't pretty small guys I'd be worried about them.

[deja true]

But you've got to admit that many of us could be called admirers, too (going by the nature of many of the comments in the photo posts...)!

I suppose then, that it might be a good guess that if, as Joanie says, 98% of admirers seem like creeps, then that remaining 2% might be some of us out in drab! (It has been posited that many, if not most admirers are frustrated x-dressers, anyway...)

And in truth, I'd bet that GGs would say the 98% of the guys that hit on them in bars are creeps, too.

[Jennifer Devine]

I have had loads of male admirers on facebook all wanting the same thing.
I think it's mainly straight or bi guys who go for crossdressers because the feminine side attracts them.
Gay guys usually go for guys because they are not attracted to femininity. They love masculinity.
I only fancy women and transexuals so i just turn these guys down one by one.
It's nice to have guys complimenting you on how good you look though ;)

[CatAttack]

I don't really go out so I don't know what cd/ts admirers act like in real life, but I have been contacted by a few on the internet. So far they have all been pretty creepy, I so not tell them any actual information about myself.

However, I think cd/ts admirers shouldn't be disregarded though, because there are probably nice guys out there who aren't really creepy and should deserve a chance, just as cd/ts people deserve a chance. I heard (from tv or something) one of the reasons some men like cd/ts people is that they feel cd/ts people understand them more.

I think if cd/ts admirers presented themselves in a less creepy manner, they would get a lot more respect. Not to generalize admirers though.

:2c:

[KellyCD]

I've actually had to beat the crap out of a guy for this.

Let me explain.

I was at a trans bar last year and one guy was all up on me and the first words out of his mouth were...

"So how much do you charge?"

:angry:

EXCUSE ME!?!?

He would not leave me alone. After about an hour there I got tired of this guy hounding to get in my panties so I decided to go home. As I was about to leave he grabbed my arm and said "Where are you going?" (Not in an angry tone but more of a "you can't leave without screwing me" tone)

:bigsmack:

I threw with all of my might and hit that dude right in the temple. He dropped like a ton of bricks and his head bounced off the floor. I didn't feel one bit sorry for him either. Creep.


Most admirers I've met are just looking for sex....wait isn't that what MOST guys are after anyway?

I truly feel sorry for GG's, they have to deal with men.

[Nicki B]

If anyone could add some serious thoughts to this thread it would be interesting to see if there is a consensus.

I have thought up a few reasons and have actually asked a few men why they prefer the CD type. I got several answers:

Men seek CD's because they act and dress more feminine than most GG women these days.

Men seem to like the retro-fem outfits, the 50's style dresses, the seamed stockings the stiletto heels, and the fussy makeup and hairdos. Women don't dress that way anymore and what once was typical daily dress in that golden age is mainly thought of as "fetish" wear nowadays.

Or are men who seek CD's actually gay and using the ruse of dating a CD to soften the fact that even though they appear to be dating a woman they are actually dating a man. Is this a way for them to satisfy their urges without the mental anguish, i.e. credible deniability?

Or are some men just "experimenting?" (This one I don't buy.)

Many admirers seem to have frustrated trans tendencies themselves and are living them out, remotely.

I've heard it suggested by a psychiatrist that some may be seeking a combined 'mother and father' figure, i.e. the best of both worlds.

The trouble, as with the way genetic women view men generally, is the bad ones colour your view and tend to form your instinctive reaction?

That being said, if you treat people with respect, I find they reciprocate, generally?

Edit:

However, I think cd/ts admirers shouldn't be disregarded though, because there are probably nice guys out there who aren't really creepy and should deserve a chance, just as cd/ts people deserve a chance. I heard (from tv or something) one of the reasons some men like cd/ts people is that they feel cd/ts people understand them more.

Admirers are regarded with at least as much approbrium as trans folks are, by the general population - and they have to find the people they seek without wearing a disguise, as most of us effectively do?

[Kate Simmons]

I tend to consider "admirers" for who they are as a person on an individual basis like I do everyone else. If we classify by stereotypes we are not much better than the people who classify us thusly. While it takes some effort to get to know people individually, it is usually more rewarding in a lot of ways.:)

[obsessedwithpantyhose]

interesting,,i only came across 1 creep while i been out and about,,,but then again im a man in womens clothes,,i dont do make up or have boobs....

Shiny,where can i find those chat rooms??i miss the chat room i used to go to on m$n....

[Karen_Ski]

I tend to consider "admirers" for who they are as a person on an individual basis like I do everyone else. If we classify by stereotypes we are not much better than the people who classify us thusly. While it takes some effort to get to know people individually, it is usually more rewarding in a lot of ways.:)

Very well put Arianna. We should be the last group to hang stereotypes on anyone gurls!

I have always had a couple of rules when meeting in person anyone I have met online. First the meeting must take place in a public place I choose. Secondly I do not entertain until I have gotten to know someone. If he or anyone else has issues with those two simple rules they just hit the road!

[Cari]

I've actually had to beat the crap out of a guy for this.

Let me explain.

I was at a trans bar last year and one guy was all up on me and the first words out of his mouth were...

"So how much do you charge?"

:angry:

EXCUSE ME!?!?

He would not leave me alone. After about an hour there I got tired of this guy hounding to get in my panties so I decided to go home. As I was about to leave he grabbed my arm and said "Where are you going?" (Not in an angry tone but more of a "you can't leave without screwing me" tone)

:bigsmack:

I threw with all of my might and hit that dude right in the temple. He dropped like a ton of bricks and his head bounced off the floor. I didn't feel one bit sorry for him either. Creep.


Most admirers I've met are just looking for sex....wait isn't that what MOST guys are after anyway?

I truly feel sorry for GG's, they have to deal with men.

Hope you stepped on him on the way out.
Its just completely rude behavior.
I've never understood why they feel its ok to act like that, or what result they are expecting.

[izzfan]

I have not met any "admirers" but that is probably due to the fact that the times when I am out 'en femme' are few and far between.

However, if I met one and he or she was good looking and friendly then I wouldn't be totally against the idea of getting romantically involved with him or her.

I must point out at this stage that I am bisexual and that I imagine that it would probably be different for straight crossdressers or those already in relationships if they were approached by a male admirer.

I have seen threads about admirers on The Angels and they seem to be quite similar in tone to this one. It might just be me being naive but I can't imagine that all admirers are sleazy and just looking for sex.

I mean, if I am to be honest, the idea of being romantically involved with another CD doesn't exactly repel me. Does this make me an "admirer"? Probably in a techincal sense but I certainly wouldn't see myself as one seeming as I have never knowingly met another CD (if I did, I'd most likely end up talking to them about clothes/CDing or just general non-CD stuff rather than asking them out).

[Tracii G]

Several weeks ago I was out shopping and a very cute young black man was watching me in the ladies section and asked me to help him pick out an outfit for his GF.
I asked him her size and what her tastes were in clothing he told me.As we were looking he said he felt funny buying clothes for her and I asked him if the clothes were for him.
He said sheepisly yes and I said no problem.We talked as we shopped and I could tell he was eyeing me pretty closely I said you know I'm a guy right?
He said he wasn't sure at first but thought I might be.He respectfuly told me he admired my courage going out dressed.
He admitted he was a CD admirer and did ask me out.I declined but thanked him for being a gentelman.
So there are some non-creepy CD admireing guys out there.

[Michelle Hart]

After reading this I actually debated responding but felt compelled to offer some insight about "admirerers...."


I'll use the phrase only as a description since most of them are neither interested, interesting, or actually admire anything about us regardless
of where we are on the transition scale.


I have met hundereds of them and recieved letters from thousands. With rare exception each note is crude and poorly written. Most talk a good game but that is all it is. TALK... The vast majority are utterly terified to make any real comitment to us or put for any noticable effort. Many of them have little or no social skills at all and have absolutly no chance with a natal woman so they think we as a group may be "easier" to get their thrills from. However some actually do want a woman with something more only because they are so deep in the closest that they just can't admit they're gay for whatever reason.


Most see us as what they wish their wives and girlfriends would be. Well dressed all the time and done up to the hilt etc. As a group we project utterly feminine behavior and that is what attracts them because the natal women in their lives have no desire to put in the time we do to look good.


Oddly enough natal women don't actually have the time anymore to do all the things we do. Most guy's who just play dressup spend ALL day getting ready and making sure they look perfect for those few pictures they take and post here or in other places.


Additionally the average natal woman today addamantly refuses to wear corsets or any other style of foundation garments. Watching their figure is just to difficult and time consuming. They want comfort first and beauty second. It's just the opposite for the CD or TG.


So you have men who "admire" us for that reason alone, They admire the feminine image that the TG's or CD's project but they can't reconcile that with knowing we were once just like them or may still be in our daily lives.

Trust me girls once he sleeps with you, you will never hear from him again unless he is the VERY rare one, and believe me they are rare. the ones who are secure enough in their own identity to be able to apreciate yours whatever it may be.

For more about the subject see my signiture line below.

[Niya W]

Must of the ones I've met in bars have been respectful . I've also meet a few crazy female trany chasers yikes. Scariest one I met was a couple. The husband creeper me out and the wife looked like she wanted to eat me literally.

[kellyanne]

My experience has been we crossdressers are second choice with 99.99 % of these guys.They prefer girls but they are not available to them.

I still think there must be some older gentlemen admirers out there who are more mature and know what they want and are more understanding and interested because of their age and experience rather than their testosterone.

I alway thought it would be very romantic to be with an Omar Sharif hunk type and slow dance with , be kissed and treated like a lady.

... but beautiful thing about being with another CD TV is you know they understand why we are what we are.

:o)

[Glenda]

While I'll be the first to admit that male admirers can be strange or creepy, what you have to realize is that a lot of guys are just strange or creepy regarless of whether they are seeking sex or not. I don't like to see statistics like "all guys" or "98% of men".....in this world that we live in, there are not 98% of any population who act, feel or think the same way. A lot of people may pretend to but there are all types in the world.

I believe that the number of male admirers will continue to increase for a variety of reasons, a couple of which are mostly valid. One, we CD's as a group are out more now than ever before. Not only are we out, but we are finding acceptance from a large part of the population. Not everyone, but so many more than you might have found 20 or 40 years ago. Believe it or not girls, we are finding friends out there. As we become more accepted, we will also become more desired. That's just the way it works.....in my simple mind anyway.

Two, there are those guys who desire a relationship with a female but who find it very difficult to continue to commit to women after a series of failed relationships in which they do not understand the woman at all. They seek us out as a viable (in their minds) alternative. While we're not really women, we do present as women. This attracts them. They may also feel that we can be more understanding or appreciative of them because we're guys too, right? They think if they had a relationship with us that it would not be as complicated. How naive is that? Some would be good partners, some would not.

Bottom line, I think you will begin to see more mainstream men in relationships with CD's in the future. That's what my crystal ball says anyway.

[deja true]

Good thinkin', Glenda, I agree entirely, especially with this part...


... They may also feel that we can be more understanding or appreciative of them because we're guys too, right? They think if they had a relationship with us that it would not be as complicated. How naive is that? Some would be good partners, some would not.

Bottom line, I think you will begin to see more mainstream men in relationships with CD's in the future. That's what my crystal ball says anyway.

Their naivete about relationships in general is prolly what caused their problems with women in the first place. I can almost relate to that myself when thinking about my early days. And as we all have to admit, we all prolly know plenty of middle aged men who still haven't grown up yet, huh?

:D

[avril findlay]

Must of the ones I've met in bars have been respectful . I've also meet a few crazy female trany chasers yikes. Scariest one I met was a couple. The husband creeper me out and the wife looked like she wanted to eat me literally.

Niya, I met a male/female couple many years ago in a pub when I was dressed and it eventually turned out that the guy wanted to watch me and his girlfriend in bed together in our underwear and he was perfectly serious. I didn't take them up on their very kind offer! They are some very strange people out there.

[Tamera]

I have met a few admirers and each for their own reason. The one that stands out is one that treated me like a lady. He opened the door for me, took me out to eat and we even went a few places. Even for the GG's these men are few and far between let alone having a TG meet one. These are the ones you remember. The others you could care less.
Hugs,
Tamera

[ReineD]

Alice Novic, author of "Alice in Genderland: A Crossdresser Comes of Age" (http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0595315623/qid=1133374293/sr=8-1/ref=pd_bbs_1/104-0549711-3434311?n=507846&s=books&v=glance), is a happily married, bi-sexual psychiatrist living in L.A., and a father. She is in an open marriage and has her wife's blessing to be out with men every week so she can affirm the female part of herself. She has been out on the "tranny and chaser" scene since 1994.

Her website: aliceingenderland.com (http://www.aliceingenderland.com)

She has written quite an essay on the subject of admirers, both from personal experience and a psychological point of view. Following are the highlights of her commentary, "Going on a Manhunt: The Two Types of Men Who Might Be Interested" (http://www.aliceingenderland.com/Manhunt.html)

1. Deep inside, most admirers are trannies in denial. To prove her point, Alice asks how many CDers have been attracted to other CDers.

2. There are also some straight men who can tolerate TGs. Those who can't will not follow through.

According to Alice, admirers are limited by something, and this is why they are not successful with GGs or they are unwilling to admit they are trans or bi. They tend to be heavier, older, or shorter; they may lack steady jobs, cars, apartments, etc; they may be unhappily married; they may be constrained by psychological baggage, religious guilt, or macho ethnic traditon.

I was fascinated by Alice's site. She seems to reflect many of the views I've seen posted in this forum.

[Rachel M]

This topic has been on my mind as of lately too. I run my femme pic on Hot or not for ego purposes. Currently, my pic has a 7.4 rating. Well, when someone gives you a 9 or 10 you are put on their favorites list. Well, I have the opportunity to see who's put me on their favorites list. Some of the men are creepy looking. This could be biased as I am straight. It is flattering though to know that some find you to be a 9 or 10. I just dont have any desire to look at another man and determine if he is hot. I haven't had too many interactions with men face to face that I felt they were admiring me or even hitting on me.
Rachel

[Bethany_Anne_Fae]

In 12 years I have only known ONE male cd admirer that wasn't creep factor #9, and he has always been courteous and fun to chat with every now and again.
The rest, well... they are seriously lacking.. something.

Zarabeth

[Deborah Jane]

Admirers have nothing I'm interested in.:hugs:
Angie

I agree with Angie, i,ve had a few who,ve tried to chat to me online and i,ve just told them i,m not interested in guys!!

[Jess_cd32]

But you've got to admit that many of us could be called admirers, too (going by the nature of many of the comments in the photo posts...)!....................

True but the difference is we are admiring and complimenting like one GG to another GG, its very different than a male admirer giving the compliment.
I recently asked in a thread about what was meant by others compliments of such pics, most all agreed it was like one GG to another, just a complment.

GG's say things like that's hot looking, very sexy GF etc.. to their fellow GG's and its not taken as a come on, same I feel with us cd's complimenting eachother, totally innocent and harmless w/ no comming on intended.

I would think as for male admirers, their possibly could be a handfull that are OK but I'd agree the majority are after one thing and most likely creeps.

[deja true]

According to Alice, admirers are limited by something, and this is why they are not successful with GGs or they are unwilling to admit they are trans or bi. They tend to be heavier, older, or shorter; they may lack steady jobs, cars, apartments, etc; they may be unhappily married; they may be constrained by psychological baggage, religious guilt, or macho ethnic traditon.
...

...and consequently, aware of their own shortcomings and unsure of their own masculinity, they tend to put on a mask of uber- masculinity...machismo...that they think will be attractive to us. We, after all, are wearing (or trying to wear) a mask of uber-femininity, aren't we?

Personally, were I attracted to men who would be attracted to deja, I'd much prefer a man who was more like us!... outgoing but not obnoxious... rather matter-of-fact but not boastful...and willing to laugh at his own shortcomings as I try to laugh at mine... in essence, a buddy, a friend, not a pursuer!

(And no, I don't like pina coladas or the taste of champagne...LOL!)

:)

[switcheralso]

I think creepy might not be the right term. I chatted with a person last night and they tend to be aggressive which I understand. I politely tell them I’m not interested and remove them from my contact list. I am sure years ago I was aggressive.

Could it be that some guys want to be with a female but understand that genetic females can bring to much emotion?

[MsJanessa]

some "admirers" I've met are quite nice and I've established long term relationships with them--others are ok but only for a single date or two and still others are downright creepy(read aggressive and demanding) and I want nothing to do with them---in this regard I suppose I'm kind of like a GG who runs into all types---I've found the key is letting them know up front what My ground rules are and makeing sure they accept that--any doubts and I walk away. On the whole I'm much more attracted to T-gurls and GGs than guys, but for the right guy--hmm maybe.

[Niya W]

Alice Novic, author of "Alice in Genderland: A Crossdresser Comes of Age" (http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0595315623/qid=1133374293/sr=8-1/ref=pd_bbs_1/104-0549711-3434311?n=507846&s=books&v=glance), is a happily married, bi-sexual psychiatrist living in L.A., and a father. She is in an open marriage and has her wife's blessing to be out with men every week so she can affirm the female part of herself. She has been out on the "tranny and chaser" scene since 1994.

Her website: aliceingenderland.com (http://www.aliceingenderland.com)

She has written quite an essay on the subject of admirers, both from personal experience and a psychological point of view. Following are the highlights of her commentary, "Going on a Manhunt: The Two Types of Men Who Might Be Interested" (http://www.aliceingenderland.com/Manhunt.html)

1. Deep inside, most admirers are trannies in denial. To prove her point, Alice asks how many CDers have been attracted to other CDers.

2. There are also some straight men who can tolerate TGs. Those who can't will not follow through.

According to Alice, admirers are limited by something, and this is why they are not successful with GGs or they are unwilling to admit they are trans or bi. They tend to be heavier, older, or shorter; they may lack steady jobs, cars, apartments, etc; they may be unhappily married; they may be constrained by psychological baggage, religious guilt, or macho ethnic traditon.

I was fascinated by Alice's site. She seems to reflect many of the views I've seen posted in this forum.
Hey I think I use to be a chaser before I came out. But I knew it in my heart. Just didn't have the balls to go out.

If you ever get a chance to meet Alice I say do it. It well worth it. She is a very interesting person .

[Sasha Anne Meadows]

I like compliments from guys but I make it clear I have no attraction to them.

[Nicki B]

According to Alice, admirers are limited by something, and this is why they are not successful with GGs or they are unwilling to admit they are trans or bi. They tend to be heavier, older, or shorter; they may lack steady jobs, cars, apartments, etc; they may be unhappily married; they may be constrained by psychological baggage, religious guilt, or macho ethnic traditon.

I can think just off the top of my head of five guys - one company director, one senior airline captain, one senior health service manager, one logistics manager and a guy who owns a Ford dealership. Four of them are in steady relationships with transgirls - the other is also a perfect gentleman.

It's really dangerous to assume men are all the same? Long ago, a good female friend told me men always take what is offered. There's wisdom in that too, but surely we ought to be aware that not all men act alike - it's just too easy for a minority to put you off?



I was fascinated by Alice's site. She seems to reflect many of the views I've seen posted in this forum.

You don't believe everything you read here, do you? ;)

[Lisa Golightly]

I find it odd that a number of men who dress as women can't see that there are men, as normal as they are, who are attracted to men dressed as women or transtionals...

TBH, like any dating circle you've got your adorables, your predictables, your ignorables and your downright terribles...

[ReineD]

It's really dangerous to assume men are all the same?

You don't believe everything you read here, do you? ;)

I don't think men, or women for that matter, are all the same, and I am sorry if I offended you or insulted your friends. But, your friends may be in a different category than we are discussing? :)

I was referring to the types that hang out in chat rooms as the OP mentioned, and that hang out in GLBT bars lasciviously eyeing everyone who comes in. The OP reminded me of personal experiences I have had with admirers on the few occasions my SO and I did go to bars where they were present. On one occasion, one of them sent a suggestive note to us on a napkin. In my naivete at the time, I laughed and wondered which one of us the note was addressed to. But, remembering my SO's discomposure, I have no doubt she knew the admirer was trying to pick her up while she was obviously with me??? I do not believe this person was in the minority.

I had visited Alice's site before and was struck by her forthright, although blunt views about many aspects of CDing, some of which were eye openers for me as they do reflect many of the attitudes I often see expressed here, specifically with regards to sexual fantasy and desire, and actual sexual experience. I googled Alice's name to make sure she wasn't a fraud and saw that she is very active within the trans circles. I remembered reading her take on admirers. It matched my own experience, and I dare say about half the posters in this thread including Michelle Hart above who has received hundreds of communications from admirers. These members also mention the "creep" or other negative factors.

I wish it weren't so. I wish there weren't so many individuals out there feeling so empty they prey on the CDers who perhaps have such a strong desire to experience sexuality from a woman's point of view, they are willing to overlook the reality. :sad:

[almalove]

I don't really like to chat with male admirers. They do seem creepy.
it may be nice to get the attention, but I agree with Stacey .

[Nicki B]

Reine,

You didn't offend me - forgive me for using your post to try and make a wider point? :love:

[jessielee]

it may be nice to get the attention...
oh, dears!
quandary.
to be admired by a man or men would seem like passing, like success, a ribbon at the fair! (i am exaggerating)
except for potential insincerity masking simply being twisted, "creepy" or, more innocently, bi! what to do? i desire to be attractive, heck, i wish to see myself through eyes of approval, without lusting after myself. but if ever out in the real world, if propositioned, i wouldn't want nor know what to do with it!
good thing there aren't any bars like that up here in the mountains.
of course, in the big city, bigger than Idaho Falls, Idaho, there would be security and comfort in public places besides the exposure and attention. it could be very maturing. whereas i remain naive by choice.
in the woods,
jessie

[ReineD]

Reine,

You didn't offend me - forgive me for using your post to try and make a wider point? :love:
:hugs: