Ever get the feeling...?

[crystal99]

Now, i may just be reading into things or seeing what i want to see but,

I was reading posts before as felt very femme and needed some like minded comments to read, i got hungry, wandered to the kitchen to make a sandwich and was thinking how it wasn't fair about my current predicament..... :blah:

After making it i turned on the TV (television, not a horny man in a dress x), the TV was already on the scifi channel and it was the end of Quantum Leap, the episode was when Sam Beckett had leaped into a beauty queen and was recieving his tiara as winner of the contest, he cryed and it was a lovely ending. This made me look around the room, you know when you get that "is someone mocking me" feeling (does anyone ever get that or is it just me?)

I turned off the TV (By which time he had lost interest anyway coz i was watching Quantum Leap) and came back to my computer to voice my views.

This is not the first time this has happened, there was this time the other week when i came home from work to find my housemates talking about crossdressers and how alot of glamour models we're actually born male. Id been thinking all that day about my life and how to change it, and that i wanted to be beautiful all the time :blah: again x

Another time i turned on the TV (I can't help it if he can't control himself around me x) there was this program on the discovery channel about two trans womens journy to womanhood. Again i felt like somebody was reading my mind, or some higher entity was doing this, and im not a religeous girl.

Now, do we just see what we want to see and read into it, somehow looking for a connection of our inner feelings to the world arround us?

Crys xx

[Kelly DeWinter]

Are you sure you sure you wer'nt watching X Files ? do do do da do do da !

[StacyCD]

It's been said that women are more intuitive than men. Perhaps crossdressers (on the issue of intuition) are closer to women than men. The brain is still a wonderful mystery!

[avril findlay]

That guy always looks rediculous in drag ( yeah I know it's only us "the viewers" who are in on the secret), but couldn't they at least give her a decent wig and some makeup?

[crystal99]

Are you sure you sure you wer'nt watching X Files ? do do do da do do da !

Ha! maybe, sometimes i think i may be in some sureal episode :hypnotized:

[docrobbysherry]

I know your question is a very serious one. It sounds like u r on the horns of the, " Shall I become/live as, a female?", dilema!

Well, from your pics you not only shouldn't have a problem passing, you'll get plenty of attention as a "looker"!:battingeyelashes:

I recommend that u don't make any sudden decisions, however! Early in my CD years, the idea of having real breasts was VERY appealing to me! I've read any number of similar posts from girls considering surgeries! Both major and minor, to become more, or completely female.:eek:

For me, and for a number of them, those desires passed! I'm quite content with my forms and female suit now!

It sounds like you're trying to say it's your KARMA, to become TS. It's not your KARMA, but what U REALLY WANT that's important!

Just don't do anything until YOU'RE SURE it's what u want! Too often folks think they want something, until they get it! Then, it turns out NOT to be as great as they thot it would be!
Be sure to get proffessional counceling if you think, "radical changes", r necessary for your CD happiness!

[crystal99]

I know your question is a very serious one. It sounds like u r on the horns of the, " Shall I become/live as, a female?", dilema!

Well, from your pics you not only shouldn't have a problem passing, you'll get plenty of attention as a "looker"!:battingeyelashes:

I recommend that u don't make any sudden decisions, however! Early in my CD years, the idea of having real breasts was VERY appealing to me! I've read any number of similar posts from girls considering surgeries! Both major and minor, to become more, or completely female.:eek:

For me, and for a number of them, those desires passed! I'm quite content with my forms and female suit now!

It sounds like you're trying to say it's your KARMA, to become TS. It's not your KARMA, but what U REALLY WANT that's important!

Just don't do anything until YOU'RE SURE it's what u want! Too often folks think they want something, until they get it! Then, it turns out NOT to be as great as they thot it would be!
Be sure to get proffessional counceling if you think, "radical changes", r necessary for your CD happiness!


Karma has crossed my mind before but i know its what i really need that counts.

I decided at about 17, after dressing while growing up, that when i went to college i would transition, at the time i said this is what you're going to do, i told a close gg friend of mine and she said she would support me. I made the decision to start college, go in my male clothes and gradually phase myself over time but never quite got there.

I was hanging out with the girls all the time and this got me noticed, girls would always come over to me to chat/hang out and i got loads of advances from them (as a 17 year old supposed lad) i gave in to my hormones and had alot of sex, it was easy, i didnt have to chase or anything, maybe it was down to the way my brain is wired. So i thought well i obviously dont need to be a girl if this is all the attention i get as a boy.

But it came back over the years, getting stronger, until i arrive again at these horns you mentioned. Im just thinking that if i dont do something now il end up right back here in another 10 years :blah:

I liked reading your reply, you seem very intuitive and always have good advice.
Crys xx

[crystal99]

Anyway im going off topic, does anyone ever get that feeling?

[MJ]

the fork in the road. what way do i go ?. you can sit at the crossroads for years trying to make a decision. and only you can. i was for-seeing this for years in the end i am happy with my decision. i wish you all the best .
my t-girl senses tell me I'll be seeing you on the femme side :hugs:

[jina]

Hi Crystal,...

I could throw in a couple of things for whatever it's worth. This thread does get into a subject that I'm always on about: "the nature of reality". I worked with a youth director once that made the observation that he needed a variety of feathers for a presentation he was working on for the kids. He scratched his head and thought, where am I going to find feathers. He decided to keep an eye out for them.

What followed was an astonishment on his part of just how many feathers seemed to be popping up all over the place. The conclusion he (and I) came to was that one feature of reality is that we are constantly surrounded by objects / information / events that would be very relevant to us at one time, and completely ignored if our attention were elsewhere.

This reminds me of a lyric by George Harrison (of whom I'm a fan) in a Beatles song called The Inner Light. It is actually based on Hindu writings: "Without looking out of my door, I can know all things of man. Without looking out of my window, I can know all things of heaven". The idea is that we are surrounded by information and coincidence constantly,... we just don't perceive most of it.. unless we are prepared to.

In psychological circles there is a phenomenon known as synchronicity which is basically the same concept.

A book I found fascinating on this subject is one called: *The Holographic Universe*. I highly recommend it.

[crystal99]

Hi Crystal,...

I could throw in a couple of things for whatever it's worth. This thread does get into a subject that I'm always on about: "the nature of reality". I worked with a youth director once that made the observation that he needed a variety of feathers for a presentation he was working on for the kids. He scratched his head and thought, where am I going to find feathers. He decided to keep an eye out for them.

What followed was an astonishment on his part of just how many feathers seemed to be popping up all over the place. The conclusion he (and I) came to was that one feature of reality is that we are constantly surrounded by objects / information / events that would be very relevant to us at one time, and completely ignored if our attention were elsewhere.

This reminds me of a lyric by George Harrison (of whom I'm a fan) in a Beatles song called The Inner Light. It is actually based on Hindu writings: "Without looking out of my door, I can know all things of man. Without looking out of my window, I can know all things of heaven". The idea is that we are surrounded by information and coincidence constantly,... we just don't perceive most of it.. unless we are prepared to.

In psychological circles there is a phenomenon known as synchronicity which is basically the same concept.

A book I found fascinating on this subject is one called: *The Holographic Universe*. I highly recommend it.


Now that it what i was looking for, thanks. So basically yes, i am kinda reading into things, or actually more like being more perceptive to information relative to my current wants and desires. If i need something then il notice more when the subject is flashed infront of me.

I love the idea that all answers are there you just have to open your mind to them

[jessielee]

dear Beautiful Crystal,
i know what you mean! but this is possibly from a different angle on the same phenomena.
perhaps they let Scott Bacula look so goofy on purpose for humour's sake!
first, though, at face value; you weren't posting on making the transitional leap yourself soon so much as wondering how things fall into place eerily, so that what you're thinking about is what you see and are exposed to, right?
i think "reading into it" sounds like discounting something very real but which doesn't necessarily need to be divine intervention at all.
like so many are certain deja vu is from the outside because its so powerful and striking, "all-knowing". but i dream lucidly and have caught myself setting up a deja vu experience on a few occasions! not ruling out having a teasing glimpse of the future, tho i doubt it. i just observed similar patterns recurring in a mysteriously familiar way and remembered where i'd experience that before.
maybe there are cosmic harmonies which we resonate to in synchronism at some time more than others. but in our own seemingly earthbound experiences, haven't you noticed when you are reaching out for someone or something, known or unknown, your encountering that person or object or experience is ever so much more poignant than you expected? like the all but magical chemistry of a union between two equally seeking/searching/yearning souls? its like telepathy.
no one is mocking you.
perhaps the universe is receiving you with open arms
as you and we step out into the unknown,
expectantly?
jessie


Now, i may just be reading into things or seeing what i want to see but,

I was reading posts before as felt very femme and needed some like minded comments to read, i got hungry, wandered to the kitchen to make a sandwich and was thinking how it wasn't fair about my current predicament..... :blah:

After making it i turned on the TV (television, not a horny man in a dress x), the TV was already on the scifi channel and it was the end of Quantum Leap, the episode was when Sam Beckett had leaped into a beauty queen and was recieving his tiara as winner of the contest, he cryed and it was a lovely ending. This made me look around the room, you know when you get that "is someone mocking me" feeling (does anyone ever get that or is it just me?)

I turned off the TV (By which time he had lost interest anyway coz i was watching Quantum Leap) and came back to my computer to voice my views.

This is not the first time this has happened, there was this time the other week when i came home from work to find my housemates talking about crossdressers and how alot of glamour models we're actually born male. Id been thinking all that day about my life and how to change it, and that i wanted to be beautiful all the time :blah: again x

Another time i turned on the TV (I can't help it if he can't control himself around me x) there was this program on the discovery channel about two trans womens journy to womanhood. Again i felt like somebody was reading my mind, or some higher entity was doing this, and im not a religeous girl.

Now, do we just see what we want to see and read into it, somehow looking for a connection of our inner feelings to the world arround us?

Crys xx

[Karren H]

There are so many crossdressing or trans programs on lately the chances of turning on the TV and hitting one are pretty good... imho... I don't think it's a preminition or devine intervention.... Though it could be women's intution.... Hmmmmm ok maybe not... lol