Update to advise me

[lauraabdl]

Well here goes. I came out to my daughter and she said it was weird but ok with her. Come to find out SO went out with her and alot of our mutual friends the other night to a bar. Daughter proceeded to get alittle drunk and anounced to the bar that her father was a queer and dressed up like a girl all the time and that it was repulsive to her and everyone who knows him ought to tell him how sick he is.
Today my SO informed me that she has seen a physicatic counciler, who informed her that I was sick and to divorce me as soon as possible as I or they never change. SO left for the day to see another counciler and get his opion.
Daughter is moving out today and going to her brothers.
I guess for me I will wait to see the outcome of SO and then plan where I will move to I guess.
I honestly wish I could have had someone from this site to talk to her, lord knows I tried to have her sign in and learn anything she wanted to. I am feeling very down right now.
Laura

[Joanne f]

I think that when people get drunk they rarely say what they actually think, its like having a brain over load so it all comes out different and maybe your SO was put on the spot a bit and has not had chance yet to really think about it , so maybe in a couple of days things will look better for you .




joanne

[Sheila]

Laura i am so sorry you are hurting like this right now hun ........ i wished i had words of wisdom to impart all i can do is send you a cyber hug :hugs:

and to say that if the first counsellor was what your wife wanted to believe than she would not have gone seeking another so there is hope more :hugs: and wishes that you make it through this :hugs:

[deja true]

Ah, Laura, that's an awful mess...

But drunk or not, and whether she actually feels that way or not, I think your daughter owes you an apology.

I think that we're very surprised that any kind of decent, accredited counsellor would actually tell any client something like that. It might be worth a communication with that counsellor yourself to find out what he really said. She may be giving you her interpretation of what he said. If the counsellor was actually as negative as she said and advised divorce, he may need reporting to your state board.

Why don't you see a therapist together. That way you don't have to rely on her second hand, judgemental report. If divorce is in the future, you'll want to know her real motivation.

Sorry, Laura, this looks like an uphill battle, and the other side is not playing by the rules.

:(

[Sheila]

She may be giving you her interpretation of what he said.

If that was so Deja I do not think she would have gone seeking a second opinion ........... I know if that was what i had wanted to hear I woulda taken it and run with it not risked getting another opinion .............. but hey I may be odd

[Daintre]

Laura, I also can only offer you a :hugs:

I do believe though that your daughter owes you an apology. Like Sheila mentioned though, your wife is seeking more than one opinion and that is a good sign. There are councilors around that make these asinine comments....you are not sick you and I both know that. my ex wife saw a councilor who told her the same as what was told your wife....we ended up divorced. I am hoping that your wife is more flexable and you two can work this out.

[Shelly Preston]

I am sure there are some good therapists in your area who don't condemn our community

Some will be used to dealing with crossdressers more than others

Try and find one

It may be more useful to your wife and daughter

[Ediosa]

Here's my advice and that's all I can offer you. I hope you feel better and that everything go well. Be strong.

Now, I have to agree, your daughter needs to apologize to you for doing that and what she said. I will not talk to her until she does and refuse any contact until then. You trusted her with this secret and for her to make such statements is beyond what someone should be trusted with.

Second, you wife is asking for a second opinion. I think you need to help with this. Find a counselor that deals with CD issues and send her to him/her.

The counselor that said divorce him. I will call that counselor and talk to him. I know patient/counselor talks are confidential, but tell the counselor what your wife said and tell him you are reporting him/her to the state board. He/She will eventually tell you the truth or apologize.

That is my .02 cents worth and I hope you are doing well. Remember you have friends here.

[lauraabdl]

I would like to thank all of the girls who responded. Yes my SO has an appointment with a second counciler on Fri. this week. I am hoping that He is more responsive. I already know from her intake visit that he told her that if she has tolorated my CDing for eleven years of marriage thus far she must deep down somwhat approve and that this is a good sign she wishs to save our marriage. I for one think this counciler has our best intrests at heart. I will reserve further judgement until I actually talk with him and find out his stand on CDing.
Love Laura