your earliest recollection?

[GG Pearls]

What is the earliest memory you have of knowing your body and gender identity did not match? I hope I am putting this right...I'm kinda new at this site. . . btw, I'm a GG married to a TG person. We were having a deep discussion about this, and I'm just wanting to hear more from other women and men on this site about their early history for my own education. Thanks!

[tanyalynn51]

oh gosh, Im not sure- it was so long ago, it was hard to pinpoint, but there was something at such a young age that felt natural about women's clothing. That would have been 11 or so, but I guess I felt something was wrong long before that- at least from age 7 that I remember.

[Valerie]

I can't remember a first time, but I always felt different from other people with my same sort of body as I had. I was more interested in activities and things that at that time and in my society were identified with girls, such as conversation, reading, beautiful things, and not at all in competition, violence or gross jokes... (Of course, there were a few other boys interested in talking and reading, but they were in the minority, and there were girls who could be competitive and so on...) It was much later that I realized and understood what was going on in my mind, and it has been only recently that I have come not only to accept it, but also to celebrate it.

Valerie

[StaceyJane]

1st grade. I went to a private school. we had to wear uniforms on wednesdays. I remember the girls showing of how twirling around in their skirts. I showed I could twirl but the girls said that didn't count because I didn't have a skirt.

[Alana65]

What is the earliest memory you have of knowing your body and gender identity did not match? I'm just wanting to hear more from other women and men on this site about their early history for my own education. Thanks!

For me, the desire to dress in feminine finery began by the time I was 8 years of age. The gender identity part of the equation didn't really set-in for another 4 or 5 years........then the testosterone surge of puberty began to change my outward appearance (and voice) more than I wanted :sad:. If I had known then (30 yrs ago) about T-blockers, my life would've been a lot different.

[TxKimberly]

About 4 or 5. I remember crying when my step sisters got to wear dresses to church and I couldn't.

[jennCD]

I was probably about 4 or 5 yrs old and we were outside a church for a distant relative's wedding. I remember my mother's cousin's wife was wearing a miniskirt and knee-high white patent go-go boots... (freaky but hey, it was the early '70s!)... and I found them so visually fascinating...

:)
jenn

[Steph Butterfield]

3 years of age

[LACD]

Earliest memory I have is around 7 or 8 years old. Putting on Moms' clothes. Been into it ever since, especially the past 3 or 4 years the urge is getting stronger.

[Sara Jessica]

Some of my earliest memories, likely between 4 and 5, were my wish before bedtime that I would wake up a girl. My feelings inside were as pervasive then as they are now, although I know better not to "wish" that any longer.

Then there were the times I played "house" with two girls who lived on my street. I was ALWAYS cast in the role of the little girl. This was definately pre-K.

[Sharon]

I always knew that I was different from other boys, but I didn't specifically connect it to gender until age eleven or 12.

[sybercom11]

I can't remember my exact age but I was very young and it had nothing to do with girlie clothes like some others have stated.

For me, it was the desire to hide my little sissy thing between my legs. Looking back, I realized how funny this action was because at such a young age I had never seen a girl down below and had absolutely no idea what they had there. All I knew was that I did not like what I had there.

I just know that this desire came before any desire to wear girl's clothes like my two sisters.

Because of the hand life has dealt me, I still have my thing down below and I still tuck it between my legs like I did when I was very young.

[Sara Violet]

I felt I was different by the time I was 6. It was not until I was 9 or 10 when girls and boys did not play together that the pain really set in.

[Carole Cross]

I was about three years old when I started to realise that I was somehow different to other boys. I used to play with some of my sisters toys even though I had plenty of my own.

[MarciManseau]

When I was 6, I wore my sister's dress for a school play (I was an angel) and I knew the moment Mom put it on me that I should have been born a girl. She even added a lacy white half slip under it as she said you could see thru the dress. I was thrilled! It would have been perfect if she'd had me wear my sister's panties too. :daydreaming:

Hugs, Marci :hugs:

[lynnmcarthur]

I was three when I first dressed and realized I was the only boy who wanted to dress

[melissaK]

Age 4/5 - wore girls under clothes taken from a neighbor. My male playmate was so shocked he went and told my mom. I hid them, denied I had them (a behavior I would repeat for decades). Mom must have found them anyway because they "disappeared" from my hiding place.

Age 5/6 - Played dress-up with the neighbor girl and I didn't get why I got in trouble and she didn't.

Age 9/10 - third grade. I was banned from hopscotch and jump rope and told to go play the creepy boys. Lost all my friends that day - a memorably bad day.

Age 12/13 - Christine Jorgenson's book came out in paperback in '67 and I was fascinated - couldn't buy a copy at that age in the bible belt town I lived in, but I read the back cover and what pages I could when no one was watching at the local drug store. Knew it was about me more or less. And I was very aware of the scorn and contempt many others heaped upon her - and unfortunately I took that negative message to heart for another few decades.

'lissa

[Kimberley]

My earliest memories are that things werent right. First time I actually "dressed" I was about 6. I realized I was transsexual when I was about 14 when I saw Christine Jorgensen on TV. I first hit the wall at 18 then 20 years later and then the last time about 4 or 5 years ago.

I am "stuck" in a domestic situation that is not trans friendly and am financially dependent on it; for now. I am trying to change that and when I do I will live independently and begin my transition.

Hopefully this is of some help?

Huggs,
Kimmie

[GG Pearls]

thank you for posting so many responses to my question! I hope more people tell their early recollections too...all of the stories made me feel such tender and sweet feelings. Thank you for sharing!

Love!!!

[MJ]

i would have to say about 5 or 6 i knew i as different but i held it in for years until i heard about tula . after that it was just a matter of time.

[markie v]

I am guessing in my Teen's I started to know someting was different for me. I remember in my Childhood I loved looking through my Sisters clothes.

The older I got the more things started to add up for me and I just finally put the puzzle together.

[Suzy Harrison]

Throughout my childhood I knew that I wasn't quite like the other boys. Whilst my older and younger brothers were heavily into sports and other such activities, I wasn't interested at all. At the time I just put it down to having a different personality.

Then, when I was twelve years old (at puberty I guess) and when all the girls at schools were developing breasts, wearing makeup and nice clothes - I wanted all of that too. I didn't want to date them - I wanted to be like them.

What really brought it all home to me at that tender age, was seeing a presenter on the television one night - she had beautiful breasts. While I should have been thinking about them in a sexual way - I was longing to have breasts just like her.

At the time I thought I was the only person in the world who felt that way - and telling anyone would get me the quickest ride to the looney-bin possible.

[Sissy50]

This all started when I had to stay home when everyone else went to school and mom saw that I would put on my sisters cloths. She was two years ahead of me in school so that would make me about three.

Mom didn't mind and humored me because we didn't have a TV and she was they June Clever type. She cleaned house in a dress and with her jewlry on just before we went out to shop or whatever.

I always watched her changing, girdles, garters, stockings, slips, knee length flowing dresses with ruffled sleeves and collars, and practical 2 in heels.

I remember once, someone came to the door and told mom her best friend wanted her and not to do anything but throw on a coat because it was a come as you are party. So she bundled me up and whisked me off down the street to a house where her best friend lived and there were lots of women there. Everyone was in various stages of dress. I toddled around hugging
nylon stocking clad women in corsettes, girdles, and some only in their nighties still. They giggled and talked about everything girlish. I wondered off to play in the makeup cabinet and mom found me sometime later with lipstick on and playing with a powder puff. everyone thought I was cute and coddled me.

Mom kept letting me dress when everyone was away at school and dad at work but was careful to change me a good hour before anyone was scheduled to come home.

After I started school, I couldn't anymore for a few years until my sister started letting me play doll's with her and dressed me in her cloths because she didn't have any other girls to play with.

The trend carried through my teens, into all of my relationships and I still get upset when I can't go home after work and fem out.

I am diary writing now so I'd better stop. Maybe I'll put it all down and submit it one day.

I wonder if I were to tell mom that I remember all that, if she'd still understand.

[Sissy50]

Hi kimmie
I got a suit job to get away from the judgmental folks. Soon I hope to have enough to own my own house where I can do what I want and provide a nice place for girls like us to go and relax. Keep your spirits up and work for your goal.

[SusanMarie]

Always...
'earliest' memory is secretly wishing I could be wearing those cute Easter Sunday dresses.
Another memory...Still remember my prom dates dress, how good she looked and how much I wanted to wear it.
Etc, etc, etc.

[metalguy639]

As far back as i can remember. I always dressed like a boy and my parents actually pretty much raised me like a boy in many respects. I'm glad they did as a result I've had lots of practice and pass quite well these days! :D

[PortiaHoney]

I realized I was transsexual when I was about 14 when I saw Christine Jorgensen on TV.

I knew from an early age that I was "different" to other boys. The teachers at pre-school complained to my mum that I wouldn't play with the boys things and spent way too much time doing "girly" activities.

Then I remember a close neighbour (girl) and we used to play dress up. She had an oriental style silk dress that I loved.

I had forgotten about the Christine Jorgensen story until Kimmie mentioned it. I also saw the movie when in my teens. I remember crying myself to sleep for days after seeing that movie because I identified with her story so much. I even took up photography as a result. Unfortunately, I wasn't strong enough to follow through on her story more, was still attracted to women, would probably have regretted doing the sex-change thing. I am not resolute enough in my feelings to actually be TS, so I will settle for androgenous to CD. Gender blended.:heehee:

But then again.......

[michelle2b]

My earliest - when I was about 3-4 years old and began to make sense of the role I was supposed to play in the world.