Who do they think I am??

[Ronni Seymour]

Lately, I've been getting out, enfemme, with my wife several times a month. Usually spending the entire day hitting the thrift stores, resturant, malls. And even though I've dressed for a number of years now, it's still fairly new to me to be out as much.
One thing that keeps itching me is the desire to find out how others (non-CDers) see me. Do I keep 'em guessing?
Anyone have similar musings?? Or am I being a little too self absorbed?

Carol

[yms]

Hi -

I think it's a reasonable question. I am like you - I go out 2 or 3 times a week, often with my partner Lori. I sometimes want to ask people what they think of me and get a conversation going, but that does seem a bit self-centered to me.

Lori and I have become regulars in a few places where the staff now know us by name. I have on a few occasions asked a wait person if the management or any of the other customers had any issues with me being there. Those attempts at getting a dialog going never went far.

I think people mostly know what's going on. I've tried to imagine myself in their position, and I think that I would try to make a person feel welcomed and accepted. I think the overwhelming majority of people want to do the right thing.

If I were in a wheelchair, I imagine people would be obliging and courteous without wanting to know how I ended up in a wheelchair. It's not a perfect analogy, but you get the idea.

For me, "passing" is going out dressed the way I want and need to, doing things I like, and be treated like everyone else doing the same things I'm doing.

Anyway, it sounds like you are living the life you want to. That's the best we can hope for. I'm tempted to say something about looking in horses' mouths.

Yvonne

[Sara Jessica]

I think your question is excellent but unfortunately, in my opinion, you may never know the true answer. All you will perceive is what people share with you. On the down side, that could be in the form of a giggle or a little snide comment. Or on the other side of the coin, it could be a frank sign of acceptance from someone in a smile or another method of sincere communiction. But a majority will remain silent and the question will remain, do they see me for what I am (tg) or to they perceive me as a woman? This is why I feel the term passing is overrated. You just never know what the silent masses are thinking.

I prefer to use blending. My attitude has changed in that I now expect to be treated well when I go out. When this happens, with a minimum amount of the negative, if any, it means I blended in reasonably well.

[shannonsilk]

I often wonder what the people I pass in the aisles are thinking. Some other threads mention incidents in which someone came up to the CD and complimented their outfit or made some other positive comment. That hasn't happened to me.
Do they see me as an unattractive woman? Do I seem unappproachable? There is no way to know.
I sometimes think if I was with someone else, that I could send the person in ahead of me and have themtry to sense what the other people are thinking.

[Kate Simmons]

I think the real goal is to have others see you for the person you are Carol, dressing notwithstanding. At least that was mine.:)