Yellow pettipants on the PET table

[helenr]

That 'lead' should get some attention. This morning I had an early morning PET MRI type study-kind of crazy, you get radioactive dye injected into a vein so that you 'glow' in this high tech PET machine that can provide info to the cancer MD,etc. Yes, I have a rare skin disease called Merkel Cell Carcinona-a little subborn sty-like growth on my eyelid was diagnosed as MCC--get those pesky things looked at when they are the size of a pimple-not a pea! (let the 'female' in you motivate you to see the MD sooner--not the 'male shell' that says 'it can amount to anything'.
As usual, I dress female underneath and I knew I wasn't to have any metal on my to interfere with the radiation machine. I couldn't find my Kathy Lee pull on ladies slacks and was told I could slide down my pants, there would be a blanket atop me.Well, the tech wanted to help and, somewhat embarassed I am sure, he saw my pretty yellow Olga petti pants and pantyhose in view instead of BVDs and hairy thighs! Normally, this would have freaked me out, super embarassed, but,to be honest, with malignant cancer, I don't really get upset anymore. He sorted of acted OK about it, what the heck, it's just a $3000. test going on!
If you wonder, why the H anyone would take this sort of risk. I am nearly 62, and want to wear what I want to wear. I think my days are now numbered in the hundreds, not thousands, so I don't care. I don't want to offend anyone-won't try to pass en femme (though I salute those of you who work hard at this and succeed and don't mean anything negative) and offend anyone's sensibilities. but 'underneath', I think I am entitled to let my heart and mind make decisions. I would go even more nuts if I had to wear male stuff underneath. Yes, I shave my legs and I think the Silk Reflections look great! hugs to you all and please keep your fingers crossed for me.helen

[Teri Jean]

Helenr, I hope you get well, if that is possible, soon. As far as the not caring what people think under the circumstances, I can relate. I went through an ordeal a few years ago where I almost lost my left arm and possibly my life to a blood infection. Then last year my wife passed in a auto accident. Life is short enough so when we can put aside our concerns of what people think we can be ourselves more. My heart goes out to you and wish you the best. Huge Huggs. Keli

[paulaN]

I think you are so right. And I hope you get well soon.

[helenr]

Hi, you are both so sweet to femail. Keli, I am very sorry about your loss. really hard to bounce back from that hurt.
I am lucky and pleased to report that all the lab work, costly machine testing proved negative! Also, the second growth on my lower lid that I feared was spawned by the evil Merkel Cell was benign-the MD suspected abrasion against the scab on the upper lid created this. I have the eyelid surgery on 12/22 and hope that it and the involved lymph node biopsy prove OK.
Back to my young 'shocked' equipment tech, I have to smile how he stood way back when I raised my slacks (ladies of course) and shielded his face from my negligee clad lower limbs. I was too worn out after lying on the cold stainless steel platform--maybe like at the morgue?-- for 30 plus minutes.
I never want to shock, just love my chance to feel feminine. no longer 'arousing', just mentally calming. wish me luck on the 22nd--I really don't want radiation in January if I can avoid it. helen

[Oddlee]

Hey, I'm 58 and have survived a heart attack and cancer, so there is hope...

The heart attack was last summer while I was on a bike ride. I've done the same ride several times since, at about 90% of former capacity.

The cancer was squamous cell carcinoma at the base of my tongue - had radiation and chemo. You learn that some days are better than others.

I recognize that I am very lucky; if I can pass some of that luck along, you have it now...

Lee

[DinaMature]

A lot of insights come to us later in life... Your remark about your age and that you'll wear what you please. That about covers its. Let the world deal with it.


"don't cry for me, Argentina"

[lauraabdl]

Hope all is well in the future.
I now know as I get older that who I am is who I am and if I wish to dress it's OK and the rest can go to, well you know what I mean. Life is getting shorter and there is so many pretty thing I want to wear and experience, I need to get started now to fit most of them in/on.
Laura:hugs:

[Phyliss]

In the middle of Oct I posted an article titled "Don't much care" or "Not caring anymore" something like that.
The point I made, when relating my heart attack, is, I just didn't care if the EMT saw my painted toes or not.

While I don't have something as serious as Cancer, I can relate to the "not caring" feeling. Being 64 myself, I've got too many things I still want to do and a simple thing like WORRY about "what will others think" isn't gonna stop me any more.

[sissystephanie]

Helen, I can relate to you very well. I am 76 and have been a CD since about age 8 or 9. My dear wife knew before were married and accepted me "as is." She passed away 3 1/2 years ago from cancer. In the past 12 months I almost died before receiving a pacemaker (had bright red painted toes while in the hospital), had to see my Urologist (I was wearing pink satin panties at the time) for a swollen testicle (turned out to be an infection which is now cured), and then had complete replacement of my right shoulder (with pale pink toes).

I do own a few pair of jockey shorts, but rarely wear them. I feel much more comfortable in panties and womens clothes. Without my wife to fix my wig and do my amkeup I don't try to pass. I just go out dresses like a girl, or lady!
Like you, at my age I don't care what others think. With the exception of my two children. I don't dress, except for my undies, around them, although my daughter does know that I am a CD. She doesn't want to see me dressed and never has.

[Tracii G]

Helen you are in my thoughts and hope all is well soon.:hugs: