Comming out tonight. Any helpfull sugestions?

[sall]

Hey girls, is this a good idea or have i got it wrong again?
I've been advertising on another straight dating site for a new girlfriend. I have a date tonight with the first of three girls i have chatted to. If she seems approachable i will mention during the evening that i crossdress. I thought if i say it in a matter of fact confident way and laugh and say dont worry it's not something you will ever have to see. It would be remembered and should we ever get close enough to make it to the bedroom, she might ask me if i want to dress.
Is that just wishfull thinking? I think even if she just got me to dress up just to take the piss out of me it could be good fun as a one off.
sall

[Shelly Preston]

Well thats one way to approach the subject and if you thing it will work it may be worth trying

however it may need a more considered approach

Check the link in my signature on telling your partner

[Jess_cd32]

I'd suggest you really feel this person out first on different subjects that may carry some controversy, including cross dressing before you just come out and tell her. Your only thinking positive and hopefull it seems, it may not turn out that way, are you prepared if it doesn't?

Anyway, good luck and have a great time on your date.

[sall]

Thanx. I've read that page before it all makes sence, but as we've never met before she wont feel cheated so it should be easyish. Hope i'm brave enough.

[mklinden2010]

I totally agree with the earlier post about testing the waters with some related topics before pushing this part of your personal agenda forward. No sense jumping into an empty pool - unless you just enjoy that kind of thing!

Sorry to be a pain, but being slow and careful with people you hardly know isn't going to hurt you. Charging in too fast they may humor you, while resolving to run for home as soon the next door opens.

Dating is about getting to know people on a "pass/fail" basic. If things go well, go a little further. If things don't go well, move on to the next person. This applies to each and every date (1st, 3rd, 10th...) until you and the other person agree to something more exclusive.

It's a "learn as you go thing" and it's a little different with each person. If it's not, you're not listening to your date...

Good luck to you in finding someone to spend some quality time with... Just take the time to get to know them a little to see if they want to know about this part of you.

Have fun!

[AKAMichelle]

I have told 2 women shortly after meeting them. It does appear to be easier to tell them early on rather than later.

Both times, I connected with the women first. I let them know that I was a very complex person. But at the same time an open book. I let them know from the beginning that I have very let them know everything there is to know about me. The reason I used this approach was that I didn't want to play games. After we had the connection, I told them that I wanted this relationship to go to the next level. As part of going to the next level, I told them a secret which took me 24+ years to tell my wife. That seems to do the trick.

My suggestion to you is don't tell on the first date. Get to know them. Make sure there is a connection before you tell someone. There is a risk everytime you expose your secret to someone. They will probably tell someone else even when they promise to keep it secret.

[SherriePall]

I agree with the others. Let her get to know you first before you drop "the bomb" on her. At least if you wait a couple of dates, she will have you pegged as a nice guy.
Then when you tell her, hopefully, you will become the nice guy who crossdresses. If you throw it at her too soon, you'll only be the crossdresser. Bye, bye.

[kathtx]

Hey girls, is this a good idea or have i got it wrong again?
I thought if i say it in a matter of fact confident way and laugh and say dont worry it's not something you will ever have to see. It would be remembered and should we ever get close enough to make it to the bedroom, she might ask me if i want to dress.


So you plan to tell her that it's nothing she'll ever need to see, but also
hope that she'll ask you to dress for the bedroom??

You don't want to tell her the whole truth, but you hope she will read your mind and take the initiative to bring dressing into your sex life. Will you be disappointed and/or angry if she takes you at your word and expects never to see you dressed, certainly never in the bedroom?

This kind of deception and passive-aggressive manipulation is a losing strategy long-term.

My humble suggestion: tell her early, and when you do tell her, be fully honest with her about how you hope this all fits into your life together. Otherwise, you're building a house on sand.

Good luck!

Kath

[Magickman]

Maybe things are different in England, but here in the states, I have gone on first dates with a few women who I met on the Internet. My tactic is simply to show up dressed. Mostly, they run for the hills.

What has worked better, is going to places where I can meet women, when I am already dressed. That way, there are no surprises. Only the women who do not mind my fashion style, are willing to begin an interaction.

It is not really possible to predict how women in general, or any particular woman, will react to a man who wears women's clothing styles.

But I prefer that they see how I look, so they may make up their own minds.

[Louise C]

You could try complimenting her on her looks and her fashion sense, maybe she could give you some advice on dressing?

Could be worth a try, do you have a photo you could show her?


But if you really like her,in the words of John Legend......" Take it slow"..La la la....:)

[Brina Halloween]

My first thought was to question if you have a date or someone for a confession session. You never know where a date can go but, if you are obsessed about confiding about dressing, it will flavor the whole date. It is complex and there are no golden answers. I would simply go in without an agenda, show my best side and see where she leads the conversation. If it goes well, you can probably guess if it is appropriate to say anything. If you make it the deal breaker up front, you have no other positives to be judged by.

:2c:

[Schatten Lupus]

I'm glad I didn't tell my girlfriend when we first started dating. She has even admited to me that she probably wouldn't have given me a chance had I told her early on.
I am also very glad I didn't wait too long. It's only been a year a two months since we've started dating, so there hasn't been alot of time wasted and regreted.

[brookalicious]

As much as I envy your courage, this sort of thing is more of a "third date" conversation than a first date one. On your first date you're just trying to put your best foot forward. Once you get to the third, then if she's still interested its time to come clean.

Hope this helps...
B

[Trea]

My wife found out the hard way. We will never have the same relationship again as she was completely unable to understand and continues to leave me alone. Fortunately Ive found someone else more empathetic, so a divorce is in the offing. On the other hand you can not just go in and blurt it out. Get to know the girl first, then be subtle.

[Joanne f]

I think that you are jumping the gun a bit , unless you just don`t care who knows .



joanne

[catriona36]

not sure on how, but i think its the best time since your single.
after all, if she freaks out you dont have t o see her again and she cant out you to anyone really can she.
and i see it as better now than later, if things heat up and you move in then tell her tht could lead to all kind of probs as ppl here have shown :(
good luck