Personality Changes with Crossdressing

[cd_britney_426]

I'm sure a lot of you have noticed this but it is new to me. As soon as I change my appearance to female not only does my personality change but how I actually feel inside also changes as well. Not long after the male clothes come back on do these changes revert back to my male self. In all fairness I have to say that this has not been fully tested so to speak because I haven't gone out day to day as a female doing regular business to know if it really would stick but I'm guessing it would.

As a guy I tend to talk a lot, not be as preoccupied with how I look (although I always make a point to look decent), am quite analytical of everything, and tend to be more critical and impatient with people. As a girl I tend not to talk so much but listen more to people, am quite concerned about how I appear in public to others that I fix my hair, etc. regularly, I tend to accept people and things as they are and only analyze something as needed, and tend to look more for the good in people but I still get impatient with people although my patience tolerance level is better. In many ways I like my girl self better than my guy self but also feel that my guy self is necessary as well as strange as that sounds. There is business to conduct and activities to do that my guy self would be best suited for but then there are plenty of tasks where I believe my girl self would be a better fit.

Something quite strange though is that my street smarts tend to go down quite a bit as a girl than as a guy. I'm not sure why this is the case because I am still the same person but this personality trait changes. When I go to the TG club as a guy I will tend to be very alert to my surroundings and demonstrate concern over the safety and welfare of the other T-girls present. Yet when I am one of them I just don't seem to worry about stuff anymore. I wouldn't say I put myself in harm's way but my alertness goes way down so if there was a problem I wouldn't be near as prepared to deal with it. I don't really think this is a good thing but I believe I now understand why so many of the other t-girls I know seem to do things that I don't consider safe (as a guy). It is because of the newfound freedom one feels when expressing yourself as the other gender. It feels so liberating that there is no real incentive to be worried about much of anything. I guess it is a "high" so to speak so why would you be thinking of the worst?

I didn't mean to rant too much but I thought I'd share my perspectives and see if others here have felt or continue to feel some of the same things. Britney

[avril findlay]

I don't think my personality changes much when I'm dressed, I'm pretty outgoing as a guy (but then I'm not a guy very often) and I think I'm prettty much the same when I'm a girl (which I am quite a lot). I just prefer being a girl.

[Tracii G]

You need to harness your girl feeling in your guy mode.
If people irritate you and your short with them you may need to lighten up.
I too feel very different in girl mode but not the way you do.
I accept all people all of the time.
I guess my femminine side is stronger so I feel that way most days.
As far as safety I would be VERY aware of my surroundings in drag there are lots of bad people out there.

[Crystal Galadriel]

My experience about how I feel in relation to my dressing is pretty much the opposite of what you've described. Rather than feeling more feminine and such when I dress, I dress when I'm feeling more feminine. I have to be in the right kind of mindset to have any desire to dress, I think of the dressing as kind of an outward expression of how I'm feeling.

But no, I don't really think I change much from girl mode to guy mode. I still think generally the same way, but I do have somewhat different interests when I'm in girl mode. Of course, this might be just hinting at a personality difference, I've never had any normal human interaction while dressed before, only being found out by my parents when I was younger. We'll have to see, provided that my SO is accepting of it, once I tell her.

[Ashlyee Paige]

I used to have a big change, last several years and since I truly accepted myself I seem to have merged my two selves together more and dont notice much of a change lately.

[Nadia-Maria]

I'm sure a lot of you have noticed this but it is new to me. As soon as I change my appearance to female not only does my personality change but how I actually feel inside also changes as well.

I agree with you that changes are common inside when oscillating from male to female appearance.
However it's not always the case. Many of us seem to essentially feel the same, whether looking as either man or woman or semifemme.


Moreover what you describe in yourself appears to me as being changes in behaviour more than change in personality, if at all.

Most of people are able to cope with any new situation, adapting more or less their behaviour to that new situation. It's just a change in behaviour as a testimony of their adaptative ability.

Changes in personality are not so common, I mean.

[deja true]

It feels so liberating that there is no real incentive to be worried about much of anything. I guess it is a "high" so to speak so why would you be thinking of the worst?

Well, guess what,hun? It is a high!

When we do something...anything..that we like or makes us happy, our brain releases chemical endorphins that work to calm us and make us feel good. Dressing without guilt, eating rocky road ice cream, playing with our beloved model trains, good sex(especially good sex!) all bring us pleasure. The feeling of pleasure is directly related to this chemical spill and enhanced by it! (A good chemical spill...who'da thought it!)

That you're more critical and apprehensive and defensive in guy mode may also be telling us that your also a bit paranoid, eh? So the feeling of well-being generated from the endorphins is doing just that...!

But we get used to that endorphin kick and, over time, it often takes more and more of the same activity to reach that first level of pleasure. Remember how thrilling that first time out was? Or that first bungee jump? Or that first time in the back of the station wagon with your girlfriend? The next one and the next one always have to be a little longer or a little higher or a little more of anything to get to the same level of pleasure.

Oops, a little wandering here. Sorry!

Anyway...like Tracy says, and as has happened to many of us, when you start to feel the integration of your calmer, happier femme self start to migrate over into your guy self, you'll find that your a nicer, more equable and happier person all the time...

My advice? Go with that flow, Britney hunny! You'll like it and so will your "what's-his-name" self!

:)

(Um...and no, i'm not a model train freak...not that there's anything wrong with that!)

[Karren H]

Nope... I'm me no matter what clothes I wear... just more cutier at times than others... :)

[StaceyJane]

I'm always the same person, CDing doesn't change who I am.

[cindym5_04]

I'm generally pretty outgoing and all as a guy. There's a lot of me that's the same whether I'm in guy-mode or girl-mode. One difference that I do notice when I'm in girl-mode is that I tend to feel sexier. Maybe it's the clothes or the freedom or whatever, but there's something that just seems sexier to me when I'm dressed.

... could be the attention too.

[Shelly67]

Its almost as if salvation is a touch away when I,m about to dress. I do change , I become happier , quiet , gentle . But then I strive to be that way in my "bloke mode " too.....
I think as I,ve come to terms with myself , addmitted my femanine side , others may have noticed it too. Whilst at work I,ve had comments , lets say of an indicative nature .
Sure , its nice for my own realization to be settled within me , but its not . Of late , I,ve realized I,m living a lie to those who are dear . The ones who don,t know about Shelly - family and dear close friends. Nor shall they.
It cuts me up .
Shelly will never leave me , but in all honesty , I sometimes wish she,d never visited my personality and took up residence in my character.........

[tanyalynn51]

When I have to go out in the world as a man, I felt more and more it was an act, as I realized that Tanya is the real me. But, things dont change much for me when Im living at home as the real me. I still love football, mysteries (books, shows, and movies), and even action films. But, so do a lot of gg's I know to. The major change for me is, as I discussed elsewhere, when I am feeling like my "younger self", if that is the right expression. Then I usually like to watch Disney Channel, read books and magazines more age appropriate, and even have a few outfits for a girl in her early teens. As some have said on here, I guess that helps me deal with all of the years I missed. I know the first time I painted my toenails, I was in that mode:)

[Cassia-Marie]

I've only recently fully decided to start dressing again and don't really have any clothes to do it (yet - 'tis the shopping season, after all!) I have noticed, though, that my personality is starting to change somewhat to be more gentle, considerate, and caring since I decided to return. I was a real bear for a while - impatient, cranky, and basically pi$$ed off all the time. A part of that was clinical depression (I've been on Prozac for the past 2 years) but I firmly believe that part of that was me losing touch with my other side. I'm so glad to be back. I feel so much better these days and am looking forward to expanding the ol' wardrobe.

Take care!
Cassia-Marie

[Julogden]

I definitely switch some behaviors depending on how I'm dressed, but I don't experience what I feel to be a change in personality. I learned at a very early age to hide my feminine side, and I've found it very, very difficult to overcome that tendency as an adult, especially back in the neighborhood where I grew up. It was easier when I lived in the big, relatively impersonal city of Chicago.

Carol

[cindym5_04]

Thinking about it, I can also say that I definitely feel more aggressive when I'm in guy-mode. In girl-mode, I feel more gentle and submissive, too.

[anouk]

Although I mostly feel being the same person, dressing up is in away orientating me to more girly things, gestures, problems etc. But I'm also more sports fan when playing soccer then when listening to Pierre Boulez...

[cd_britney_426]

Maybe it is more of a behavioral change than a personality change but behavior is going to stem from personality. The fact that I'm comfortable with my male side but at the same time enjoy being the female gender for awhile means that I have both feminine and masculine characteristics that I can express myself in. The reason it does seem like a personality change is because the behavior is not consciously done. While the first couple of times I made extra sure that I acted as a woman would (walk, talk, posture, etc.), it clearly is no longer acting but comes more naturally. It is interesting to notice that when I appear as a woman I actually feel like a woman during that time. This was the case even the first time I dressed. While I had to "act" female that time, before the night was up I actually saw myself as a female. I'm not sure what to make of it all but it is interesting. When I do crossdress I have no desire to convert back to my male self but know that reality requires it. On the other hand I don't see myself having TS issues as I'm comfortable with my male side but it is obvious by now that my crossdressing is more than just about wearing girly clothes and accessories. Britney

[sometimes_miss]

I'd like to think I don't change, that I'm always just 'me'; but the few times I dressed up around my ex-wife, she thought she saw a difference. When we spoke with the therapist about it, she said when I was dressed as a woman, that I 'lost something', that there was something missing about me, but she couldn't exactly say what it was. In retrospect, I can only wonder if what was missing was the 'front' that I consciously or subconsciously put up to avoid anyone suspecting anything feminine about me in my normal daily life. I can't say that it's just an attitude, or a physical 'presence' that I've developed over the years to subtly intimidate people, because I really don't know (but I do recognize that it's occuring for one reason or another, I've just chalked it up to my physical size).
I have studied body language in depth, and know all the mannerisms associated with male/female, and dominant/submissive behavior; when alone, or dressed as a girl, I suppose that I may be expressing my true feelings as opposed to how I want the outside world to see me. Or maybe it is something so simple as self preening of hair, jewelry and clothing, or the way I place my arms and legs when wearing girl stuff; I don't know. But apparently I would seem different to others as a girl as opposed to as a guy.

[carhill2mn]

Yes, I am a different personality when en femme. I think that it is because whether I am presenting as a woman or as a man, I try to act in a manner consistent with the personna that I am presenting.

[billie earls]

I also have a different feelings when dressed but being I'm in the closet there isn't anyone else to see or hear it. I always hid my inner feelings so when I dress its like I'm expressing something different then I have before. If I ever meet up with other CD's I think I can come out more, until then I will use this site to express my other side

[Celeste]

I have to admit ,I definitely change personalities and I like it that way.To me that's all part of getting as far away from my "guy" mode as possible.He go's in the closet she comes out.I'm only conveying what I feel at the moment.

[marny]

Think you should look out for yourself more when you dressed hon.

[Sally2005]

I don't think my personality changes. I try hard to look the part and that includes look, movements, voice (may not be great or confident with all these). Some thought patterns change, but I think it is because I am thinking, what should a female be doing at that time... Someone once asked if you hear a male or female voice inside...I hear my male self, but I can sometimes change that if I force it--feels odd though. Oh, the only thing that does change, is I am a lot calmer when driving...probably fear of getting in a collision.

[Cari]

I used to have a big change, last several years and since I truly accepted myself I seem to have merged my two selves together more and dont notice much of a change lately.

Couldnt have said it better.

I am a bit concerned for you about dropping the street smarts thing. Fortunately I had some good friends that watched my back when everything was new.

The only real change for me is to heighten my street smarts and awareness in girl mode. I feel more vulnerable; its just so much easier to snatch a purse than get a wallet. Its also easier to run in flats than heels. Hopefully you can get friends to watch your back until that high goes away a bit.

Cari

[Deborah Jane]

Apparently not!!
I,ve been reliably informed that my personality stays the same whether i,m in guy mode or girl mode!!

I,m actually nuts whether i dress or not :heehee:

[DameErrant]

My wife says that I am much more flambouyant and outgoing when en femme, more likely to talk up a storm, and more likely to listen when someone else talks. I can share my feelings more easily, relate to others, and am more likely to take risks and meet new people.

More interesting is the fact that when I get to dress on a regular basis, I become a better man, more patient, kinder, less irritable, more relaxed and less stressed. More likely to listen than talk. More confident as a man in general and at work in particular.

And if I can't dress for a time, I get very cranky, selfish and in general the opposite of all the above. It's like my personality is coming apart without regular doses of Diane to refresh my guy side.

I need Diane to stay integrated as a whole person.

[cd_britney_426]

As to the street smarts thing, I don't put myself in harm's way that's for sure. However, when I appear as a girl I am more focused on how I look and spend more energy keeping up my appearance, conscious of how I appear to others, etc. When I appear as a guy I don't really care about those things so that energy is then focused more on my surrounding environment, how others appear and how they behave, etc. It is an old cultural thing in most societies (and still present in some I suppose) that the men are the warriors and protect the women and the women don't have to worry about such stuff because the men are there to take care of them. Obviously that is not realistic in today's world and I don't really agree with it anyway. However, being that I am still a "new" girl I probably fall slightly into the trap. When I am in a nightclub as a guy, I make a point to look out for the safety of the girls and especially the t-girls present so when I am a t-girl I kind of expect someone to do the same for me. I am not foolish about these things as I still am aware of my surroundings when going to and from my car but in terms of a club environment or when I am around the other girls, my situational awareness is just not near as high. Again I am not foolish about these things but the fact that I've actually noticed this change is enough to make me a little bit concerned because I am usually the first one to notice a situation or problem yet if my guard is not that high, I may not notice something when I should. I hate to be paranoid but it is a crazy world out there. Britney

[ColleenShivas]

We all have multiple sides to our personalities. For me the question is which one is being expressed at any time. Dressing as Colleen brings the gentler, more patient, more sensitive side to the fore. After an evening as Colleen, I try to carry her to work with me for as many days as possible. The male mode never leaves completely, but Colleen gives me an added advantage in many situations. This is one reason that I call CDing gender enhanced. The hard part is finding the right balance.

[emmicd]

I believe I am the same person no matter how I dress. I'm just a crossdresser who is transgendered. By wearing a dress I am portraying my femme self which is how I feel inside. I guess I'm matching the outside by dress to the inside. When I'm in a suit and tie I still feel like I have a femme self but I'm not expressing it externally. I am dressing according to how I should by conforming and not really expressing my true inner side.

emmi

[Kelsy]

I believe I am the same person no matter how I dress.

emmi

I am just me no matter how I am dressed but my wife says that my mannerisms and how I carry my self changes as soon as I put on something fem! Even a simple pair of girl jeans!

Kelsy

[Sam-antha]

Definitely a different me, the submerged one is up on the surface in the street, bus or wherever.
There, or elsewhere,dressed, I am much more careful of the little things that really matter to me. Grooming, appearance, interaction gestures/smiles and all the rest that go to make the girl side that has been buried in there.
Early on I doubt if I noticed what must have been very significant behaviour changes.
Some changes inevitably transfer itself to drab life.
Mind I am still not mad keen on clothes shopping with my wife. But by myself, why that is so different. River Island, Bay, Top Shop are much more interesting. Quite apart from the fact that I can get in there by myself.
Jewelry matters too ....

[cd_britney_426]

Something seems to suddenly have hit me like a ton of bricks and I really don't know what to make of it. I am starting to realize that I have gender identity issues. I haven't really posted a lot here so I don't expect anyone to really know the full story and it really isn't necessary to post an autobiography anyway. I do not believe I fit the category of a classic transsexual, I am not a drag queen, and at the same time my recent interest in crossdressing also doesn't seem to be typical to what I encounter with most other crossdressers. There is something going on in the "inside" that I seriously need to find out about. It may be a false alarm and it may not be but at this point it warrants further investigation so to speak.

I started this thread about personality changes because I wanted to analyze my own feelings of CDing since it is still new (April 2008 was my first time). What seems to be more and more obvious is that the 200+ times I have gone to this TG-friendly club in drab I have been putting up a "front" whereas the 11 times I've been Britney it has clearly not been acting. Unlike the drag queens and CDers I know and at this club, I really have not found an obsession with needing to CD and really haven't spent a lot of time or money with femme clothes. I started this to see what it was like and have since treated it as a new hobby. What doesn't add up is that people who start a hobby usually become obsessed with it in the beginning and then normalize it down the road. CDing does not seem like a hobby to me but it is something I obviously enjoy. The real critical issue is that I feel very feminine inside regardless of what I am wearing. At first I dismissed this as being related to the fact that I am gay, hang around a lot of TG people, and now crossdress. This would make sense until I suddenly remembered hundreds of "markers" of gender issues from childhood up to adulthood. While I had dismissed such childhood problems as simply being related to homosexuality, I have never really identified with gay men that well either. Likewise, attraction is independent of identity.

Obviously something is going on here, it is not new, but is becoming increasingly exposed and can no longer be hidden or ignored. I know I'm mostly attracted to men but there is something else going on here that has to be found out. If this turns out to not be a false alarm, this will be quite difficult to deal with as I have enough other things to worry about. On the other hand, I'm 24 years old and an issue like this I consider to be severe and I need to get to the bottom of it ASAP. I guess the question is where do I go from here? I generally am a brave person but I have to be honest that I am a bit scared now. Britney

[Sarah Martin]

There are definitely two people in my head (and there's barely enough room for just one, let alone two). Each has their own personality and behaviour traits. Iain is loud but reserved, unsocial and a bit serious. Sarah is fun-loving, happy, smiles a lot, tactile, girly. Dressing accentuates these two personalities, and brings the to the fore.

[Cissy Chiana]

I don't try to be male (when I have to be) I just stop being me so much...

[LeotardMan]

Good thread!!

I know with me I mainly dressing women’s exercise clothing so when I workout is when I REALLY act feminine. For example when I was living in NH I used to take Jazzercise when I was at Jazzercise I was one of the girls, I acted really feminine, but outside of Jazzercise I was another guy. When I was boxing in NH I boxed at a women’s only gym (Long story on that!) I acted really girly!! Heck, I think I was more mainly outside the ring then in it!!

For example when I was a kid I would pretend to be my Mom. I would go into my room with one of her leotards take out my mat and mimic every aspect of her I would pretend I was her working out or fighting like she was in karate.

For the most part I exercise at home to videos and when I dress up and get into that frame of mind I am a woman. But when I’m done the workout shower and change I’m back to being me a guy.

Geoff

[JoAnne Wheeler]

I know that my personality changes for the better when I'm dressed. That's the only time that I truly feel relaxed and can enjoy all that life has to offer.

Love,
JoAnne Wheeler

[Samantha43]

I'm pretty much the same. Hopefully just a little better looking!