Would you like to be interviewed in a puff peice I'm writing?

[Michelle Hart]

Hi girls,

This is the first time I've solicited ideas here so I hope you have a few or can give me some insight.


As some of you know I write a syndicated column and try to stay focused on being out in the real world and not the fantasy stuff. What I would like to know is are there area's of interest you have that are non medical when dealing with the public. I'm not going to even entertain ideas about medical issues because I'm just not qualified.


What are some things that you would value and be interested in knowing about or would anyone be interested in a one on one or more interview. All of us seem to be looking for the best advice so If you have some I would love to write a peice on it.


.

[jillleanne]

Michelle, I'm not sure I follow your request. Are we talking about our gender issues here? Give me some examples if you can and I may just be interested in chatting. Just so you know, I am an openly accepted gender enhanced person by my gg and loving it.
Hugs, Jill

[Michelle Hart]

Hi Jill,

Personally I dont consider them "gender issues" but it's an apt term to use.

What I'm asking is what experiances or advice other women have had that has been the most helpful in or during transition. What would be considered a pitfal or something to watch out for.

Most of us consider our changes to be positive and the right decision in the long run so what would the inverse be. Has anyone looked back and changed their mind or have you learned something about yourself that you never knew previously.

Consider it an anthology of our wisdom and experiance, obviously I'm also interested in the natal girls opinions as well so they can feel free to chime in with something they have learned about being a female too.

[StaceyJane]

I would be more than happy to share my experiences. I hope others can see they are not alone. I am still in the closet and I don't go out dressed often but I have tried it.

[Sally2005]

How about writing an article on joe average who happens to be a part time CDer so that others can learn about it? There is not a lot of positive recognition or acceptance in general of guys who CD and lead normal lives. Not everyone desires a transition and it would be cool to explain this, even to a TS audience.

[noeleena]

hi.. Michelle. are you looking at doing a inteveiw. like i did on t v or a paper or the net as an idear look up my name on google ... my profile is there & a pic would it be like a ?? & answer interveiw . any way have a look if interested ... noeleena@clear.net.nz ...... noeleena Lochhead ... see what you think ...noeleena...

[Michelle Hart]

How about writing an article on joe average who happens to be a part time CDer so that others can learn about it? There is not a lot of positive recognition or acceptance in general of guys who CD and lead normal lives. Not everyone desires a transition and it would be cool to explain this, even to a TS audience.

Sally,

I had never even considered that. What a wonderful idea. It's interesting that you mention it because a lot of "drag queens" are simply gay men who dress up and preform for a crowd rather than just sitting at home.

Obviously a drag queen is quite different from as you put it joe average but they both share a common theme in that they just wear womens clothes and are not interested in becoming women.

My question to you would be, at the risk of being insensensitive...

What recognition and acceptance is warranted? Should a CD be elevated in stature to a TG or would you see them as equals? Please explain your thoughts so I can get a better feeling for the direction to go in.

.

[Michelle Hart]

hi.. Michelle. are you looking at doing a inteveiw. like i did on t v or a paper or the net as an idear look up my name on google ... my profile is there & a pic would it be like a ?? & answer interveiw . any way have a look if interested ... noeleena@clear.net.nz (noeleena@clear.net.nz) ...... noeleena Lochhead ... see what you think ...noeleena...



Noeleena,

Initially my thoughts were not a "direct" interview in the classical sense but a more general topical style, obviously based as stated from a real world experiance or life situations. Things that women encounter and have learned to accept or deal with.

.

[gerdani8]

Sure! Would be glad to participate in an interview. I am very open about my life and have been living as Gerri since August 1996. Contact me via private message to get my contact address.

Gerri

[deja true]

What recognition and acceptance is warranted? Should a CD be elevated in stature to a TG or would you see them as equals? Please explain your thoughts so I can get a better feeling for the direction to go in.

Huh?

Why would you even have such a thought?

There isn't a hierarchy in the world of trans. And if we all (TS, CDs, all alphabet soup combos in the gender world...) want to progress towards acceptance for any of us, we'd better be thinking of ourselves as a unity of all of us, not a mob of players with 1st and 2nd and 3rd string players!

Categorizations like this only serve to cause dissension and discrimination among ourselves...

L'union fait la force, sis!

[TxKimberly]

Huh?

Why would you even have such a thought?

There isn't a hierarchy in the world of trans. And if we all (TS, CDs, all alphabet soup combos in the gender world...) want to progress towards acceptance for any of us, we'd better be thinking of ourselves as a unity of all of us, not a mob of players with 1st and 2nd and 3rd string players!

Categorizations like this only serve to cause dissension and discrimination among ourselves...

L'union fait la force, sis!

I couldn't have said it any gooder myself!
By the way, this is something I see over and over on the internet. The term "Transgender" DOES include cross dressers and never DID refer to only the TS. "Transgender" is an umbrella term that covers the vast majority of us here.

[Michelle Hart]

Huh? Why would you even have such a thought? There isn't a hierarchy in the world of trans. Categorizations like this only serve to cause dissension and discrimination among ourselves...


So to ensure I understand your thought's and am clear....


The guy who goes to a hotel on the weekend and put's on a pair of heels, lipstick and a wig is no different from the woman who spends hundereds of thousands of dollars to alter her physical gender, sit for months/years in therapy and, gives up all she has ever known, are the same??


My comments are not meant as a slight in any way, only an attempt to see where the common beliefs about us are and why they are held.


As previously stated I'm looking for ideas, and a general idea of what direction to go with an article about ALL of us.



"Transgender" DOES include cross dressers and never DID refer to only the TS.

It was just a typo, I meant the differences between the "joe average" and those who are transitioning to a new gender.



.





.

[TxKimberly]

. . . The guy who goes to a hotel on the weekend and put's on a pair of heels, lipstick and a wig is no different from the woman who spends hundereds of thousands of dollars to alter her physical gender, sit for months/years in therapy and, gives up all she has ever known, are the same?? . . .

I can't speak for Deja but I will throw my own thoughts out there.
Yes, I do think that quite often they ARE one and the same.

Many of the TS's I've met threw away marriages, families, their families "fortune", and their careers to transition. I do not consider that to be the noble sacrifice as your sarcastic reply to Deja implies it is. In those cases, I consider it to be a horrifically selfish thing to do.
For those who transitioned while single, my hat is off to you and God bless you for following your dreams and desires. Please know that I do not lump you into this group.

On the other hand, there are many of us who have the same feelings, needs, desires, and self image as those who do transition. We also have wives, children, families and careers, and we aren't willing to throw them by the wayside in our search for, and pursuit of, feminism. So yes, we limit ourselves to our sad little moments in heels, wig, and lipstick in lonely hotel rooms.

I do not consider one's sacrifice to be larger than the other, nor one better than the other. We all pay our price. In this little forum though, we like to treat everyone with respect, and intended or not, your post implied a lack of it.

[deja true]

...The guy who goes to a hotel on the weekend and put's on a pair of heels, lipstick and a wig is no different from the woman who spends hundereds of thousands of dollars to alter her physical gender, sit for months/years in therapy and, gives up all she has ever known, are the same??

Don't you see the existing discrimination in your post already?

'"The guy" ...in the hotel and "...the woman who spends...alter her ...gender....gives up all she has...

Like Kim says, there are plenty of TS women out there (the majority in fact) who will never go through surgery but still be women...to themselves and to their loved ones...and to US!

(How 'bout trans-men? Vast majority will never have bottom surgery. Try tellin' one of those guys that they are lower in the heirarchy of trans-ness than the few who have been able to get it.

Intersex folks? Androgynes?

No...there is no freekin' difference. 'Cos it ain't about the clothes for a lot of us. And it definitely ain't about the clothes for TS women. And it also ain't about the money spent...or time sitting in therapy....! It's about the soul within the person...and no amount of measuring of money or time or number of pairs of women's shoes in their closet can be applied to the relative worth or 'status' of any one of us over another.

Lord knows, we all know the "common" beliefs about us ... that we're deviants of some sort... What needs to be put across to the real "joe averages" out there is that we're "variants", just as a pekinese is a variant of a wolf, not an intrinsically less valuable entity.

Any "joe averages" out there, raise your hand! You? nope... You over there? nope...Me? not a chance... And prolly not you either, Michelle. Right?

Each of us is a special case...and that unites us as a tribe, a clan, a family of special worth all around.

:straightface:

[jillleanne]

I've said it a million times and will continue to say it til the day I leave this earth. I have a new yahoo group because of it. And, I live by it everyday no matter which gender I am currently appearing as. I, we , them, all of us, need to rid ourselves of labels that only serve to confuse litterly everyone. Unlike tables, chairs, apples, boxes, we evolve 24/7, we change 24/7, our thought patterns change 24/7 and we cannot be labelled because as soon as we understand what the label means( if ever), we arent't that anymore. Therefore, I propose we forget all the labels because we are all transgendered, period, or as I prefer to say and more accurately, gender enhanced. It encompasses all of us, and more imporantly allows for both genders of birth. Long overdue is the understanding that what we wear is an outer expression of our inner selves and nothing more. Yes, we are all gender enhanced. Let's leave it at that and get on with life.
Jill

[Nicki B]

What recognition and acceptance is warranted?

Well, in the UK certainly, a TS cannot be legally discriminated against, whether in the workplace, for provision of services, or simply using the appropriate toilet - but anyone not officially transitioning has no such protection.


And, FWIW, I'm another who finds your assumptions offensive - and demonstrating a sadly insular view. If you are going to continue trying to represent the trans community, perhaps you need to get out and meet a wider cross-section?

[Michelle Hart]

Deja,

My first reply was not sarcastic, it was a question to ensure clarity. but thanks for responding in a such a snide way yet again. YES, I am being sacrastic now. I wasn't before but after both of your replies it's pretty obvious you did not read what I wrote.

I ASKED A QUESTION IN REGARD TO WHAT SOMEONE ELSE WROTE!

YOU brought up the subject of a heirarchy, I DIDN'T....

My first respose to you was to ensure I understood your position on the defferences, if any, between someone who just wears womens clothes and those who either transition or are in transition. I made no distiction about Trans MEN, Trans Women or Cross Dressers YOU aparently see no difference in the three. THAT'S FINE WITH ME, However I do see a big difference.

I was not in any way trying to be discriminatory, I was trying to make sure I understood what was being said to me. YOU REALLY SHOULD TRY IT SOMETIME before you acuse me of something I was not even doing.
I asked if anyone here wanted to share things they had learned, NOT get into a debate about what makes someone a boy or a girl with you.

Kimberly,

Personally I would not consider going through transition a noble sacrifice just a sacrifice of one life for a different one. Not all of us "threw it all away" as you put it. In many cases it works out well for everyone involved, not always but it does happen.

I also don't consider this decision to be "horrifically selfish", a little selfish maybee but certainly not that much. Don't all of us make selfish decisions every day to get what we want or find happyness?

While I agree that many may "have the same feelings, needs, desires" but chose not to transition it's still an individual choice to stay where one is or move on to where they want to be. Each of us who decides to "go all the way" make that choice and have to deal with the fallout weather it's good or bad.

It's not a question of limiting oneself to "little moments" of feminism. For some of us it's a deep personal need, a living nightmare on occasion, and an absolute hatred of our own reflections in the mirror sometimes.
As I told Deja, and now you, I asked a question in response to what someone else wrote because I wanted a better or more clear explanation. Unfortunately neither of you have done anything but brow beat me for what I have written. I was looking for the experiances and ideas of other women, because I wanted to write about it in an upcomming article.

Neither of you have offered that, you both have just misread everything and acused me unfairly.

[Sharon]

Time to tone it down, folks.

[Michelle Hart]

And, FWIW, I'm another who finds your assumptions offensive - and demonstrating a sadly insular view. If you are going to continue trying to represent the trans community, perhaps you need to get out and meet a wider cross-section?

Asking questions is "offensive" .......?

I'm not trying to represent anything. I'm out there every single day, all day, all week, all year long. I meet and am in contact with hundreds of people from this community already. Weather they are Male, Female, or somewhere in between.

Just how much larger of a cross section do I need to meet your aproval and not be considered lacking?


I'm going to apologize early for being insulting or rude or catty or demeaning or whatever else I get acused of.......

[Nicki B]

Asking questions is "offensive" .......?


What recognition and acceptance is warranted? Should a CD be elevated in stature to a TG or would you see them as equals? Please explain your thoughts so I can get a better feeling for the direction to go in.

You really don't see that comment as offensive? Then perhaps there's little point in continuing.

No one that I can see has misquoted you, or failed to read what you have written - perhaps you should reread what you actually wrote, again.




Also, a request - if you're going to use differing fonts, sizes, italics, etc - just apply them to the whole post, not each individual sentence? It makes quoting you correctly harder.

[Sharon]

Okay, that's it -- take it to PM now. :sad: