Coming out to G/F advice...

[BrittanyNJTgirl]

So I've been dating a GG girl now for three+ months. She's a few years older than me and has two kids but is the sweetest and is very attractive. I've been 100% honest with her about everything in my life except for my CD'ing. I feel before things go any further I need to tell her.

I just do this as a hobby, and I'm only interested in the illusion of it and the chance to be someone totally different for small amounts of time. I'm quite happy being a man, I'm straight and I would never become full time or anything.

Does anyone have any advice on how to tell her? I've had two girlfriends accept it before.

I'm thinking about just being 100% honest with her and tell her with confidence, if she doesn't accept then maybe she isn't the right girl for me.

[vivianann]

You need to tell her, hopefully she will understand, before you tell her prepare what you want to say and how to tell her. there is a guide to help you come out here on the forum. I truley hope it all goes well for you when you tell her. And let us know how it goes when you tell her.

[Sheila]

Does anyone have any advice on how to tell her? I've had two girlfriends accept it before.

I'm thinking about just being 100% honest with her and tell her with confidence, if she doesn't accept then maybe she isn't the right girl for me.

Pick a time when there are no distractions, and be as honest as you can, there may be some questions even you may not be able to answer just yet, and so tell her that, be confident,be sure, and most important of all be you. listen to her, hear what she says, not what you think she is saying, give her time to take things in, and if at first it does not seem good hang in there, it might just take her a day or two to process the information.

have the addy of this site so that she can come look if she likes ...... Loved ones section is a Brilliant idea ....... one of the greatest addition I think to this site ever.

Good luck hun and wishing you all the best :hugs:

[crossdrezzer1]

say,,, first of all I am not gay nor do I want to change the way I am,, but to be honest with you before you fall in love with me more you need to know all of me so I wont decieve you,, I truly love you and dont want to hurt you in any way but sometimes when in private only I do like to play with my softer feminine personality, I dont ask for you to participate but I am only telling you this so you dont catch me in the future and think I decieved you because that is a form of cheating and I will never cheat or lie to you,,, there thats out and you can ask me any questions you have and I will try not to explode with embarisment...

[crossdrezzer1]

I never said I was a good speller---(lol)

[ggtracy]

Be confident and proud of your hobby. if you act like its a secret or bad thing then she will may be uncomfortable about it. if you act like its a great, fun hobby, even if she doesn't like it, she may be willing to accept its just another quirky thing about you that makes you special.

[Shelly Preston]

Hi there

Please make sure you set aside enough time so you can discuss this properly

Please read the link in my signature it has lots of good advice

[Sandra]

It's not going to be easy. Take your time and be honest with her, even if you think she wont' want to hear something, be honest because if you lie about even a small thing it will eventually come out and you could be faced with "why didn't you tell me this"

Ask her to let you have your say then let her have hers, explain that you are still the same person underneath the clothing, expect a lot of questions and maybe some tears.

I do hope it all goes well for you.

[Davina]

As alot have said above it is good to just be straight an honest,
When i met my G/F who im with now i told her couple of weeks in i liked thongs and stockings and she thought i ment on her but i said no i like the feel and she was shocked abit but said it was cool.

Only advise i can say is dont be to tight in your convo with her, be relaxed and mess around, bec they know if what you are saying you feel its also wrong so she will feel the same.

You could even do a small test one day when your around hers for a laugh put a pare of her panties on and mess around in front of her, you will get a good glance there what she will be like about it, you might just be shocked

[mklinden2010]

So I've been dating a GG girl now for three+ months. She's a few years older than me and has two kids but is the sweetest and is very attractive. I've been 100% honest with her about everything in my life except for my CD'ing. I feel before things go any further I need to tell her.

I just do this as a hobby, and I'm only interested in the illusion of it and the chance to be someone totally different for small amounts of time. I'm quite happy being a man, I'm straight and I would never become full time or anything.

Does anyone have any advice on how to tell her? I've had two girlfriends accept it before.

I'm thinking about just being 100% honest with her and tell her with confidence, if she doesn't accept then maybe she isn't the right girl for me.


B,

With two previous girlfriends already introduced to the idea, you're close to being an expert already!

Good for you. You know you can do what needs to be done.

This isn't, by the way, a hobby. Hobbies are listed by signs or departments at the model train stores, woodworking shops, fabric stores, and craft centers. You can trade one hobby for another by just closing one door and opening another without much thought or energy at all.

CDing is more an intrinsic characteristic of you as a person. Your interest in this makes sense to you and you recognize this is part of your life and who you are. In some form or another you'll always have a keen eye for a pattern or color, a curve or a texture. It's just how you look at and feel about some things and always will be. You are who you are.

When dating, three months is about right for such a decision point (Go or no Go?"), and from the sound of things, you want this relationship to continue, if possible.

She likes you more than a little, and is probably glad to have a good person in her life.

You're looking at a tall hill to climb with kids, ex's, in-laws, etc. about to be weighed against you as a person and you as a partner. This may be a tough sell for anyone looking at the long term. Odds are she's looking for fewer issues to deal with, not more...

You're right, though, if YOU want to go forward here long term (And you do, right?) then you'll need to step up and be open about what's on your mind.

But, I would suggest you go very slowly - too many people seem to think that you should just do a full "system dump" or, "throw up" everything you have. Rather than dump, dribble. Rather than throw everything out there, offer small bits here and there.

Set smaller goals. Ask about her feelings on related issues, ask about her stand on national politics and hot topics of the day. That will tell you a great deal about how receptive she might be to your activities. Ask her about her long term goals and what she has in mind for her future, her future partner, who might be good role models for her kids. What issues "the other people" (parents, siblings, friends) in her life might have with such things.

Stop and think about what she is saying and feeling. If you need to, change the subject and come back to it next week. Be patient with the process.

And, don't be too shocked if she comes up with something you never thought of and just can't work with yourself. Like, "I just want to have four more children and stay home and not work."

You may go for it, but it's not really great date conversation unless she wants a quick "Yes" or "No" tonight. See what I mean?

At any rate, rather than plan, "do or die," in covering all this tonight, plan on bringing up something related and see where it goes. If she goes "nuts" then you know what you need to know.

And, last, you already know that just because someone says something today, that does not mean they won't change their mind tomorrow. Women (people) will go along with CDing for a while, then at some point it occurs to them they really didn't know what they were getting into... Uh-oh. On the other hand, sometimes SOs don't much like the idea at first, then decide it's actually pretty cool after all and life just goes merrily on.

Preparation, presentation, communication.

Last thing I would suggest for you, do the three things above and leave "negotiation" off the table. It's very easy to get trapped in "Not while I'm around," or, "Only on Monday nights."

Life is not like that, and this is your life. Offer, "I may do this, I may do that. It mostly depends on what I'm thinking about and trying to do." Do try to stick with, "This is just what I was thinking about doing..." and leave yourself room to change YOUR plans to accommodate her wishes and your common goals as a couple. The more you communicate, the less anyone will have to negotiate anyway....

Thanks for asking in advance. That says a lot about you as a good person... Very considerate of you...

Given your approach to such things, whatever you get worked out for yourself - and the both of you - will be for the best.

Good luck.