Therapy and Crossdressing

[Darlene Rochelle]

I started with a new therapist yesterday. I have been out of therapy for a LONG TIME. She is VERY open-minded to my transgendered issues,and I feel like we will make some progress. I have been feeling miserable for so long,feeling like I lead a "double life". I hope this is my HUGE step forward,my femme side deserves better. How many of you have had,or do have a therapist who has helped you in your TG journey. Hugs,Darlene..:)

[Phyliss]

I saw one for about a year. It reached a point where I felt comfortable about myself, so I told her that I was OK with myself and we parted.

Yes it did help me. Figured out some things about me and got to feeling Ok

[JoanFlores]

How often do you need to see some one and where do you look for one??

[Rachel Morley]

How many of you have had,or do have a therapist who has helped you in your TG journey.
I have ... but only in the sense that my wife has been my therapist. In the beginning there was a lot of "wondering" on my part about myself, what, how and why etc. Back then I wanted to try to stop being this way as I thought it wasn't helping me be happy. She on the other hand put out the idea that my unhappiness was not because of the fact I crossdressed but the fact I wasn't doing it enough! This seemed crazy to me at the time. However, she encouraged me to dress more and also talk about my feelings. I opened up to her about myself, my past, and my crossdressing and what I liked and disliked. Nowadays, it's a great life. I've never been happier. My point is, I think a person can get help in may forms and therapy is a good one, but it can come from many different sources. For me it worked really well and didn't come from a professional, just the woman I love.

[Bethany_Anne_Fae]

Been seeing a therapist for over 10 years now. My original one passed away a few weeks ago and i found another that did her homework regarding gender issues.
Its very therapeutic and rewarding.

Zarabeth

[Sarasometimes]

I go once or twice a month. after wasting hundreds pf dollars educating my therapists i have now been seing an alrady trained one for about 15 months. Make sure the your therapist is trained in TG issues not just understanding about them. I didn't know what I was missing till I found this place. ask what experience they have and any training. I didn't do that and i got ripped off. My therapist makes suggestions of how I can incorporate CDing into my closeted life. She says that underdressing when possible may help. Do housework as such and many more ideas. The others just were passive about my ideas. Good luck.

[Brandiwvr]

love my time with mine. she has some understanding on cding, but this is an area that i really dont have to much problem with. now relationship issues are different story. and i do tell all before i get in a relationship so cding isnt a big issue usually. honesty is always best. i have commitment issues, and the rest of the story can rotate arond that. hope to have a real gg sone but but but but but but. hmmmm. well well well well. can we taslk about something else please?

[jina]

I have had therapists at key moments in my life (strange to find that those times are now more fully explained). :) I could have saved myself a few identity crisis's.

The Brits laugh at us Americans and our "therapists", but I digress.

It helps to talk,.. it's been very beneficial for me at times. This time around I knew I wanted a female therapist, but stayed away from anyone advertising "woman's studies" as part of their credentials. That translates to me as "feminist" / "political" / "agenda" etc. There are some of those types that are cold to the whole TG thing (it challenges certain aspects of that brand of feminist philosophy unfortunately).

[Tomara]

I have been seeing at therapist for almost three years and have worked on relationship , work and cross dressing issues with her , she is very professional and helpful to me.

The funny thing was I didn`t even know she was a gender therapist until I started to talk to her about my cross dressing , I could not have asked for a more understanding and supportive person to help me.

I would highly recommend a therapist if you would like to explore your feelings about any issue in your life.

Tomara

[2b.Lauren]

It is two fold for me. Every good therapist needs one. I don't work in the area of CD/TG for the obvious reasons. I have not told my therapist of my dressing. I need to but I have had so many other issues with my marriage and other things that it is not as hot of an issue. It will come up I am sure since I am exploring my female side more these days.

[Desiree2bababe]

I went to therapy as a teen. It helped me accept my transvestism.

[StaceyJane]

I have a wonderful therapist. I had tried some others and I didn't like them. The one I have now is very understanding, supportive and challenging.
Since I have become a regular patient we have even worked out reduced rates.
I'm not looking to transition, I just want to learn to accept the two parts of me.

[crystal99]

[QUOTE=jina;1527315]

The Brits laugh at us Americans and our "therapists", but I digress.
QUOTE]

That maybe true but we hear over here that people in the states will have therapy for such things as a goldfish dieing, or a dog keeps sh**ing on the lawn, thats what we laugh at. :tongueout xx

therapy for serious, personal reasons is fine, and much needed. Id love to be able to go to a therapist but i just cant afford it, its well expensive.

Crys xx

[MJ]

I have had therapists at key moments in my life (strange to find that those times are now more fully explained). :) I could have saved myself a few identity crisis's.

The Brits laugh at us Americans and our "therapists", but I digress.
It helps to talk,.. it's been very beneficial for me at times.

oi I'm a Brit !!! . and i have had 5 "therapists" to date all very nice and very helpful. sometimes it help to look outside the box ..

[docrobbysherry]

That maybe true but we hear over here that people in the states will have therapy for such things as a goldfish dieing, or a dog keeps sh**ing on the lawn, thats what we laugh at. :tongueout xx

therapy for serious, personal reasons is fine, and much needed. Id love to be able to go to a therapist but i just cant afford it, its well expensive.
Crys xx

---Crystal, therapists r a lot like parachutes. When u REALLY need one, u CAN'T AFFORD NOT TO HAVE ONE! And you'll probably want the BEST!:eek:

[cindym5_04]

I went to see a therapist about some family issues before my wedding. I was having a lot of problems with my mom and sister (and they also refused to attend the wedding). I went to get things clear in my head and all and me and the therapist talked about a lot of things and I told her about my crossdressing and growing up and all like that. She didn't think that it was anything out of the ordinary actually and actually said that she could see where it was a certain sense of therapy for me in itself and encouraged it.

[Elizabeth Ann]

I currently have two therapists: one for me and one for couples counseling.

In my case, I sought help for a real witches brew of depression, marriage issues, career issues, mid-life issues, and, oh yes, crossdressing.

A good therapist can give you support and comfort, but will also challenge you when needed, and it will be needed. Not many people go to therapists when they are happy with their life, and you probably need more than just an authority figure to tell you that its all right.

Therapy is a lot of work, and sometimes not very pleasant. Those little epiphanies we get come from facing hard questions. But when the smoke clears and the world comes back into perspective, when the bonds with loved ones are strengthened, and most importantly, when you understand and take control of your life, well then all that work will be worth it.

Ignorance is not bliss.
Liz

[Angie G]

I've never had a problem with X-dressing. And I think Crossdressing is my Therapy Darlene. It's just always felt right and gave me a good feeling.:hugs:
Angie

[susiej]

I also started with a therapist yesterday, Darlene! We can be sisters on this road together.

It looks like my experience is also going to be a good one. She asked me about my "inner gender" and I guessed 65/35 girl/boy. She then asked me if I had any interest in dating guys, and I said no, I don't seem to be gay. She replied, "well, you may not be gay, but it looks like you're a lesbian." :heehee:

I think she gets it!

What an odd, interesting experience, talking about all "this" with a real live human being. I told her a couple of times, BTW, that I owe my peace and serenity about my transgender-ness to this blog and you girls. I also think I would have been mortified with embarrassment at having to discuss things like wearing a bra to work if I hadn't already talked it all out on this forum.

So, you could say that we all have a therapist already -- right here. Thank you!

To JoanFlores -- I found my new therapist through this:

http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/prof_search.php

It's a search system sponsored by the mag "Psychology Today" -- you put in your zip code, and you can search for specialty. The search engine doesn't yet know the word "transgender" (grrmph), but they have heard of gays and lesbians, so I searched for a therapist who specialized in GL issues. And presto, found one who thought I was a lesbian. "When you have a hammer in your hand, every problem looks like a nail" :)

Hugs,
Susie

[CD Susan]

I have been a cd for the past 55 years and have never been to a therapist. There was only one point in my life when I would have wanted to talk to one and at that time I did not know such people even existed. This was before the age of computers and I did not even know there were other people like me. I struggled through my gender identity issues by myself and learned to accept who I am with help from no one else. I can only imagine how many millions of us struggled with having trangender related issues before the age of computers and the wealth of information and communication possibilities that they provide. I feel like I truely did grow up in the 'dark ages'.

[Ronni Seymour]

This was before the age of computers and I did not even know there were other people like me. I struggled through my gender identity issues by myself and learned to accept who I am with help from no one else. I can only imagine how many millions of us struggled with having trangender related issues before the age of computers and the wealth of information and communication possibilities that they provide. I feel like I truely did grow up in the 'dark ages'.

I second that. The internet has provided a wealth of information that I never knew existed. But being married, I'll have to say my wife has been a real help. Not necessarily in giving advice, but just being available, and being open for me to talk through a lot of my feelings and questions.

[Alicia_lynn419]

I saw a therapist for a few years... the original reason had very little to do with my CDing. But as time went by and I "conquered" the other issues, we began to focus more and more on my cding, how it plays a role in future relationships, and how it played a part in my divorce.

I still have those moments of "I wish I wasn't a CD, my life would be easier", but for the most part I've come a long way in self-acceptance. I HIGHLY recommend it to anyone who thinks they may benefit from it. I even went to a few sessions en femme, and my Doc always told me I was welcome to come in any way I felt comfortable!

[balletchick]

I'm considering a therapist, this upcoming year, but I'm not interested in being cured but coming out. Understanding myself better and getting to the point where my cding is like breathing ( its no big deal but if I stop I'll die). That kind of motto.

I was wondering do any of you go to sessions enfem?

[susiej]

Balletchick,

I'm also not the least bit interested in being "cured", no more than I would be about being "cured" of being able to paint the Mona Lisa, sing opera, or dance the Sugar Plum Fairy in the Nutcracker! But, like you, I'm interested in working on just how "out" I want to be. I've been in the closet for decades, trapped there by a marriage to a woman I knew wouldn't approve or tolerate Susie. Now that she's history, I'm blossoming, just want to know how much.

Sessions en femme? My one session so far was definitely en drabbe, but kind of a soft willowy drabbe. One of my ideas to "transition" out of the closet is to start wearing more androgynous clothing, e.g. soft sweaters, velour, stuff like that. I doubt I'll wear a dress to my therapy session any time soon, but -- if I do, you'll all be the third to know :).

Hugs,
Susie

[StaceyJane]

I do all of my therapy sessions by phone. I am always en femme when I do them and my therapist is nice enough to always refer to me as Stacey. :)

[kristinacd55]

Wow! Good for you Darlene. Must of been like a ray of sunshine shining down on you. Good luck to you, I've never done therapy...........yet!

[sometimes_miss]

Once I found out that therapy wasn't about being happy, but just 'functional', I stopped going. There are too many crackpots out there masquerading as therapists, charging us money to tell us that we are 'sick'. Just because I don't fit into society's stereotypes, doesn't mean I'm sick. I'll pass, thank you very much. Besides, I got tired of seeing surprised looks on therapists' faces whenever I told them, well, pretty much anything. Few of them have any experience at all with gender problems. Or, god forbid, you get a Freudian, and then everything's about mommy.

[Ruth]

I visited a therapist for about 18 months. It was my wife's idea, and she more or less insisted on it after I came out to her. My therapist was wonderful, very sympathetic and supportive, and after about 3 months I was going to therapy sessions en femme. The feedback effect on my wife was great too, because she has great respect for the therapist, and seeing me being treated so supportively opened her eyes to the good side of CDing.
OK, not everyone will have such a successful therapy story, but it can happen. We parted after about 18 months because I felt I had explored enough. I think the therapist was still interested in carrying on but I was beginning to feel it was partly professional curiosity (I was as far as I know her only CDer).

[Joanne Curl]

I went to therapy specifically for my cross dressing in the early 80's, right after my 1st wife found out about my CDing. I've been in therapy a couple of times since and I was convinced that I'm not a deviant-I'm just different. I accept this side of me but I'm still in the closet. I don't feel guilty anymore about being a cross dresser but I still can't take the chance of being out to everyone.
Joanne

[Tess]

It may be too long ago for me to remember clearly but it seems to me that I've always been pretty comfortable with my CD'ing and never felt the need for a therapist. That never stopped me from seeking information but I have never felt the confusion or depression that I read about and I've never felt that it was negatively impacting my relationships or career. If I suspected I was TS it would be a different story.