How are you submissive/domineering ? (for MTF CDers only)

[Nadia-Maria]

In your everyday relationship to your SO, who is the dominant person, who tends to be the more submissive ? Or have you a more or less balanced relationship ?

As it may change from a relationship to another, this poll adresses your current relationship to your wife/SO, or to (latest) former SO for the case you live at the moment alone.

[tanya1976]

In your everyday relationship to your SO, who is the dominant person, who tends to be the more submissive ? Or have you a more or less balanced relationship ?

As it may change from a relationship to another, this poll adresses your current relationship to your wife/SO, or to (latest) former SO for the case you live at the moment alone.

I would say more or less balanced, although my girlfriend may disagree..:)

[STILLETTO]

Good question babe...personally when undressed and with ny GG partner i have the dominant role. She is not aware of my CDing and our relationship is quite traditional in that the male plays the lead!!
However when dressed with my boyfriend, all change baby!! Let the sheer pleasure of the submissive world take over.
Maybe its a release from the pre-disposed pressures on males to be this particular Alpha male...as we all know in reality life is made up from all kinds of personalities, traits, strengths and weaknesses. the key for me is not to be exploited but to have an occasional release from the expected.
Hope that provides some food for thought and comment.

S.
XXX

p.s. Happy Thanksgiving to our USA friends (a little late...sorry)

[KATIE TV]

In Male mode it is about 50/50, as "Katie" my GG partner "J" is totaly dominant
PS. I voted as Katie.

[Jess_cd32]

I always like your polls Nadia, your very inquisitive and thats a good thing to help everyone understand more about themselves and cd-ing and you should be close to being an expert by now on most issues.

I chose neither dominates the relationship, we're equals, but I'm more dom in general in some areas...... need I explain?:)

[PortiaHoney]

I switch. Just like my clothing. Why can't I have it both ways. It only let's you cast one vote. :-(

[Alexandria9919]

I am more dominant when in male mode but when en femme I am very submissive to my wife especially when it comes to sex. I like her to tell me what to do and how to do it:)

[Karren H]

We are pretty much equals in our relationship... But Please............ Don't tell her I said that!! Lol

[Joan Merrie]

We are equal, we don't do any thing hardly, with out talking it over first. especially big decisions.:hugs:

[Jonianne]

I went with #2. My wife is definatly more dominate and I have always been more of a compliant / easy going person all my life in either mode. That's just who I am.

[Bethany_Anne_Fae]

In male mode I'm 95% Dominant and my S/O gets the other 5%, and thats the way we like it ;)

Zarabeth

[erickka]

We are more or less balanced, but I seem to "wear the pants" about 51% of the time. Been that way for 26 years!

[Sarah...]

It depends on when you ask us and most definitely not on what either of us is wearing at the time! And it changes from moment to moment, situation to situation. 100% me to 100% her and all stops in between.

I think that's an important part of what makes us such a good team.

Sarah...

[Rachell]

I think we are equal my wife makes some decisions as do I. But what I find most interesting is that while dressed in drab my fem side comes out very often and we can make decisions together that make us both happy. I find this mostly happening while making decorating decisions or while shopping its very weird but it works for me/us.
Rach :D:D:D:D:D

[Nadia-Maria]

1) The first thing to notice is this poll was obviously not an easy one to answer. It might explain why so few people took it at the moment, and so many wished to skip.

It's rather difficult to question sincerely oneself about dominance/submissivity in EVERYDAY LIFE (and not just in sexual life), and most probably a great deal of people just don't want ask themselves about it, because they don"t want to question their way of life.:eek:

However I believe that asking sincerely yourself about this subject is one the key to really understand yourself and take control over your life.

The antique wisdom was : "Gnoti seauton" = "Know yourself".
It still is a very good suggestion. :2c:

2) Even with a very small number of voters, a slight trend seems to go noticed towards a more submissive end among CDers.
I would say I'm not that surprised, since it is as expected. But the next step is to assess much more precise figures from a bigger number of voters.

So, looking forward hearing from you all ...:love:

Thanks in advance

[DinaMature]

I've lived for the most part a pretty traditional macho life and have functioned in traditional dominant male roles.

Having said that, my cd/fem side (now that I realize what influenced me in the past) is submissive and has tried to take a more passive role, if only for an evening. Generally speaking, that never worked out as I imagined or at all to my advantage.

[Karen_Ski]

When she is out and about Karen is a very modern and liberated woman however when she is alone with a lover she knows how a good woman acts and what it takes to please her man.

[Deborah Jane]

I can,t say anything here, i think i may be being watched :battingeyelashes:

She,ll have to find out for herself :D

[Sheila]

I can,t say anything here, i think i may be being watched :battingeyelashes:

She,ll have to find out for herself :D

either do as you are told or you will find out :devil::devil::dom::dom::dom::dom:

[AmandaM]

Neither my SO nor me dominates the relationship, but I am a bit submissive

[linnea]

Over the past twenty years, I think that I have changed a little in this regard--but only slightly. I am just a little submissive now.

[Nicki B]

1) The first thing to notice is this poll was obviously not an easy one to answer. It might explain why so few people took it at the moment, and so many wished to skip.

Perhaps also 'My SO and I can dominate about equally the relationship' doesn't equate, at least to some of us as 'we have an equal partnership'? :idontknow:

[Tess]

This isn't a question I can answer without doing a bit of analysis. I think we both dominate in specific and different areas. When it comes to the family finances we are so much on the same page that I make all decisions without a peep from her. We discuss most things very thoroughly and make consensus decisions, but my wife wants me to make the final judgement. Its a way for her to avoid blame. If it ends up being a bad decision she blames me. Anyone who has been married for as long as we have knows that part of the success of a marriage is in being willing to take responsibility for mistakes even when it isn't your fault. Peace is more important than who screwed up. Anyway, no matter who is making the decisions we reach those decisions as close to jointly as is possible without being gridlocked. When it comes to relationships with the outside world she is the dominate player and I follow along.

[brookalicious]

I tend to be the one making the decisions. That might be why CDing appeals to me so much... a way to become something different. :)

[bianncats]

i am the dominant one, but I dress to be the submissive one...that's another story...

[Bethany38]

My wife and I tend to be equals for the most part. When in male mode I am slightly more dominent, However when Bethany comes out to play she likes to be told what to do and how to do it.:o

[Jonianne]

I can,t say anything here, i think i may be being watched :battingeyelashes:

She,ll have to find out for herself :D


either do as you are told or you will find out :devil::devil::dom::dom::dom::dom:

You all are so cute together!!!

[Ballerina]

My GF and I try to keep it even, but I generally like it better when she is making the decisions. Drives her nuts when I don't want to make a decision, haha!

[Nadia-Maria]

Hi Tess,

I just jump into it, because what you said is a very interesting point about couple relationships, I mean. And I can't resist giving my 2 cents.:2c:


Anyone who has been married for as long as we have knows that part of the success of a marriage is in being willing to take responsibility for mistakes even when it isn't your fault. Peace is more important than who screwed up.

I often used to hear something like that. And also something like this :
"In order to have a couple running in the long term, one of both spouses has to sacrifice oneself.

Certainly it's a way to keep a couple running. However I now believe it's possible to succeed in it in a more balanced way, without the need of any sacrifice.
Anyway, if someone is to make the sacrifice, they are obviously the SUBMISSIVE person in the couple.


We discuss most things very thoroughly and make consensus decisions, but my wife wants me to make the final judgement. Its a way for her to avoid blame. If it ends up being a bad decision she blames me.

I understand this one as a typical "manipulative" behaviour. It reminds me much about "playing the couple games" by Eric Berne, in the "Transactional analysis" meaning.

IMO, this game is a way for the wife to control the couple and take the domineering position at the expense of the husband, whereas being seemingly the submissive person because she offers the final judgement to the husband !!:devil:


Anyway, no matter who is making the decisions we reach those decisions as close to jointly as is possible without being gridlocked. When it comes to relationships with the outside world she is the dominate player and I follow along.

Yes, from all what you said, I already guessed she was domineering in the relationship.
Still , they are only my 2 cents, and I might be wrong. :battingeyelashes:

Finally, if you find it's working for you, I wish you all the best. :love:

[Tess]

Finally, if you find it's working for you, I wish you all the best.

Good points Nadia-Maria. It took a few years for us to learn the rules of the game but after 38 years we are both comfortable with it. Maybe it isn't perfect but it falls within what each of us will tolerate and we know what to expect. Behavior isn't going to change at this point.

[Nicki B]

I understand this one as a typical "manipulative" behaviour. It reminds me much about "playing the couple games" by Eric Berne, in the "Transactional analysis" meaning.

But surely Adult:Adult (and also Child:Child) is a possibilty too, in a TA sense? :confused:

[CD Susan]

I did not vote in your Poll! You are assuming that everyone here has a SO or wife and that is not true. Some of us are unattached and prefer it that way!!!!!!!!

[Nadia-Maria]

Hi all,

The initial trend seems to be now well confirmed from 93 voters, because rather homogeneous figures were shown throughout the progression of the poll.

Hence, there is an indication that CDers play most often the submissive role (59 voters out of 93, that is 63%) in their everyday couple relationship, whereas the more dominant role is taken only in 21% of the couples.

Yet it has to be noted that 58 voters out of 93 (that is 62%) say they are in a rather, or almost, equally balanced relationship.
Moreover when the CDer is the more submissive, there is more often a weak difference in submissivity in the couple than a striking one :
. 35 voters for : « Neither my SO nor me dominates the relationship, but I am a bit submissive »
. 24 voters for : my SO « dominates » or « rather dominates » the relationship.

It is quite interesting however that as many as 14 voters (15%) chose the option « I’m very submissive » , confirming the fact that the sissy phenomenon is not rare among CDers.

Finally, I noticed an abnomaly in the distribution of the voters. A normal distribution (bell-shaped) was to be expected and, clearly it has not been the case, and it is not a sampling coincidence.

This abnomaly tend to show than more people preferred to choose the option : « Neither my SO nor me dominates the relationship, but I am a bit submissive » at the expense of this one : « My SO is rather the one who dominates the relationship ».

Many thanks to all the voters

Nadia




As it may change from a relationship to another, this poll adresses your current relationship to your wife/SO, or to (latest) former SO for the case you live at the moment alone.


I did not vote in your Poll! You are assuming that everyone here has a SO or wife and that is not true. Some of us are unattached and prefer it that way!!!!!!!!

OK, I understand from the above you have no SO at the moment nor had had any SO before. In that case you have no experience at all about dominance/submissivity in the couple relationships and you don’t have to take this poll, since it only addresses that specific issue.

[bridget jones]

I am without a doubt submissive.I want to be the one that gets man handled (haha)so to speak.

[morgan51]

i am truly the submissive in our relationship and wouldn't trade places for anything. morgan

[Lesley Ann]

That's easy an easy question to answer. I am the sub and my SO the dom.
I am not complaining honest.
Lesley Ann