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Louise C
12-12-2008, 05:00 PM
Hi again girls!

Well, as you've probably already read, i went to the GP yesterday. - A really fantastic lady.

Whilst in the waiting room, it occurred that i was being completely insane and should just go home and carry on as normal. I nearly did. But i didn't. I had one of those experiences where my whole "wanting to be femme" life was flashing before me. Every little event.

An hour earlier i had shown my trusted GG work colleague my profile picture on this site.-

"Is it normal for a guy to want to look like this?" i asked, trying to prove my point about wanting to see the GP.

"Not really,- my god, you really look like a woman", she replied. and she has seen a lot of my pics this last couple of years. " Actually, i thought that you were looking really feminine lately anyway". She couldn't explain in what way, but was quite adamant about it. That's what made my mind up to stay and wait for my appointment.

Well, as already explained, theGP wasn't too clued up, but was supportive and very confident about what she should do.
"we'll have to learn about this together,....and i was hoping my next case would be a nice easy one!"

She took lots of notes and i told her whatever she wanted to know. The most difficult thing was admitting that i could no longer carry on with the norm, and felt my life was wasting away.
The fact my SO doesn't know how bad i am is very hard at the moment. She's going to be devastated and i really can't bring myself to tell her this side of christmas. I know you're all going to pick me up on this point, but i just can't bring myself to spoil what could be her last christmas with me as her husband. I plan to tell her the minute the holidays are over.

I had a call today from my GP.

Nikki B, you were right on the money:- she has to write a referral report to the Psychiatrist, in order for me to visit, - she told me severe cases of dysphoria are dealt with off island at Charing Cross Hospital.

I'm expecting to tick all their boxes.

MJ
12-12-2008, 06:31 PM
first of all lets get real for a moment until you know whats going on with you i suggest you say nothing do nothing enjoy the Christmas season and even then until you have been to Charing Cross and have a diagnosis and a plan of action why put yourself and your wife through hell.

why get upset over stuff you don't know focus on what you have now. Truly enjoy each-other because you could destroy a wonderful relationship needlessly.

once you know then tell her what you do know then she can make her own mind up.

just please remember that breakups can get very messy and the truth will come out and like an atom bomb you have no idea who will be left standing with you once it goes off or the long term damage that will come.. trust me i have been there ..

and before i get the rough end of the stick i know how much this all hurts but why put ourselves through needless heartache and pain i hope this helps
so please Louise relax have a great Christmas and be happy
hugs

Louise C
12-12-2008, 06:41 PM
MJ, like a guardian angel, as always...........:hugs::love:


This is what i am afraid of happening, so i will take your advice.


I forgot to mention earlier....I had a very vivid dream last night, i was halfway through transition and was having my hair done. I looked in the mirror and saw myself as if for the first time. My hairstyle was completely different to what i would normally choose for my female side, but it was right. I felt complete.

I know i'm getting ahead of myself here but i can't tell you how inspired,( although terrified), i'm feeling.

Kaitlyn Michele
12-13-2008, 02:50 PM
slow and steady wins the race