No Men past here!

[Carin]

That was the sign by the entrance to the ladies fitting room area at Burlington Coat Factory. "No Men past here." It struck me for its absoluteness.

So was I breaking the rules as I went in there to try in three sweaters?

I guess the attendant didn't think so as she counted my items and ushered me in. My presentation was certainly female form and attire. I pass as a transgendered person - with confidence and positive attitude. People either call me Ma'am or do not use gender specific language in general when I am out like that. On the other hand my ID would say otherwise, if anyone cared to check.

Labels are just labels, but sometimes a label is right there and we have to deal with it, or ignore it. The simple sign was challenging me, asking me if I was a man or not, in absolute terms! For most people it is a simple Yes/No question, but it gave me cause for thought! Yes? No? Maybe? Maybe Not? The question lingered with me all the way home. I don't know how to answer it. :thinking:

Oh well, the store got my money and I got my cute sweaters. And life goes on....

[Karren H]

You probably ripe those tags off pillows too?? hahaha Guess for us who are use to breaking the rules... what's one more or two?

[CD Susan]

Good for you Carin! I am glad you had the courage to do what you felt was right. I hate labels as much as anyone here and resent having to deal with this. You had every right to use the ladies fitting room. The manager of this store has a lot to learn about effectively running a business so not to offend the people that patronize his establishment. I don't know where you are from but I have never encountered a 'fitting room attendant' where I live in over 40 years of buying womens clothes.

[Jenna1561]

Good for you Carin!



Good for you Carin! I am glad you had the courage to do what you felt was right. I hate labels as much as anyone here and resent having to deal with this. You had every right to use the ladies fitting room. The manager of this store has a lot to learn about effectively running a business so not to offend the people that patronize his establishment. I don't know where you are from but I have never encountered a 'fitting room attendant' where I live in over 40 years of buying womens clothes.

Susan, I've not tried on clothes in a Burlington Coat Factory, but many women's shops I visit have a Fitting Room Attendant. They ask how everything fits, will get a different size garment to try, suggest pieces that will go well with an item I'm trying on, and will also suggest accessories. I rather enjoy their attention.

Jenna

[Salene]

They put those up in shops that specialize ion "intimate" wear so the girls can try on the items without getting starred at my strange men. lol. Can't say I've ever seen one in a coat store.

Maybe you can sew them for not being PC...? I mean...I've heard dumber things go to court and win. :brolleyes:

[Lesley Ann]

In all of the large department stores that I have shopped in there is always an assistant, who counts the clothes you are taking in to try on. I have never seen an sign saying 'no men' but I was in Marks & Spencer in Oxford Street with my SO who had several pairs of trousers she wanted to try on and asked me if I would come with her to the fitting room. But I was stopped by the assistant and had to wait outside with the other men. At the time I didn't think anything of it, that is until I read your thread. I just might try and go in their myself and see the reaction. I'll let you know the outcome.
Lesley Ann.

[sometimes_miss]

Two reasons easily come to mind; they don't want to make other female customers uncomfortable, and they don't want couples having sex in their dressing rooms, especially when wearing the store's clothing.

[Jess_cd32]

You probably ripe those tags off pillows too?? hahaha Guess for us who are use to breaking the rules... what's one more or two?

I don't just stop there, I cut the ones off the mattress to that says do not remove under penalty of law:heehee:

Good for you Carin using the ladies dressing room, I think you chose the right one girl:thumbsup:

[Marshchild]

Ugh, that reminds me of a clothing label I saw make a (thankfully) brief appearance in the stores down here nearly twenty years ago: NFB, which stood for "Not For Boys". Blech. I was so pissed off with the sentiment expressed there that I was tempted to buy some of its stuff just on principle, but couldn't really see anything I liked, so I didn't. (Besides, I suppose if I had bought something from the line I would've only been letting the manufacturer use reverse psychology to manipulate me into spending money on their stuff.)

With regards to trying on stuff in the ladies' change rooms, I generally haven't had any problems there myself. About the worst that's ever happened to me has been being asked to use the first room inside the entrance, presumably so that I didn't venture too far into the "forbidden domain".

[SherriePall]

I have never used a fitting room at Burlington Coat Factory because the store is too close to home and too many people who know me shop there. BTW, the store is not just coats (perhaps, the smallest part of their inventory now), but features all kinds of women's clothing, including lingerie and shoes. Ours ever has a Baby Depot with everything for newborns and up.

[Denise01]

I have never encountered a problem or question when i wished to try something on before I buy.

I have been in stores that both have an attendent on the fitting room, and also where the sales associate need to unlock the room so that you can go in to try things on.

Just this past month was in a Ladies store, and looking at skirts. The sales associate asked i would like to try them on, and the fitting room that she directed me to was in the middle of the area, and most of the other rooms were busy as well.

One thing that i find that helps is when i am shopping for Ladies clothes, I am fully Denise, and fortunately so far, have never had even a second look as to the fact that maybee i should not be there

Denise

:):):)

[Jean Ann S]

I tried on some dresses at Cato in a surburb of Oklahoma City and they made me use the restroom ! ugh,,,,,,otherwise they were bery nice !
Jean Ann

[Jenna1561]

I tried on some dresses at Cato in a surburb of Oklahoma City and they made me use the restroom ! ugh,,,,,,otherwise they were bery nice !
Jean Ann

Jean, were you presenting as Jean or in guy mode? But even so, a restroom? I think I'd definitely pass.

Jenna

[Angie G]

Carin when I'd dressed I don't feel like a man or want to. So At a time like that I'd say onI'm not.:hugs:
Angie

[Rachel Morley]

Hi Carin, :hugs:

What a co-incidence, Marla and I were in a Burlington Coat Factory in Sacramento yesterday looking for shoes for her (they had a sale) :)

Anyway, what a thought provoking post! "No men past here" would make me think too as I don't like thinking of myself as a "man" yet I know I am not a woman either. What am I? ... dunno :thinking: ... I'm just "me". In that context, just like you I feel that I would be able to go into the fitting room. Even if the attendant read you (and having met you in person I doubt it) they obviously didn't think you were a "man" :) I don't know what your CD journey is or where it will lead you, but I can see why you thought about this all the way home. Looking at how you were readily accepted as not being a man by a complete stranger would have made me think for a moment too ... and, for me, it would have been a happy thought :)

[Brina Halloween]

I was wondering if this was a thread for no "genetic males" but it appeared to be in the wrong section :brolleyes:.

I've only used a dressing room once for a purchase. The lady had to think about it.

Brina

[Jean Ann S]

I was in boy mode on way to a CD Gathering in Eureka Springs
Just does not seem fair !

Jean Ann

[Toni_Lynn]

Ugh, that reminds me of a clothing label I saw make a (thankfully) brief appearance in the stores down here nearly twenty years ago: NFB, which stood for "Not For Boys". Blech. I was so pissed off with the sentiment expressed there that I was tempted to buy some of its stuff just on principle, but couldn't really see anything I liked, so I didn't.

That's funny! I probably would have bought some BECAUSE of the brand name!

And I suppose that is why I despise those horrid things called 'Manties' aka panties for men. double-blech!

Huggles

Toni-Lynn

[Ronni Seymour]

It sounds like they possibly were refering, in particular, to men coming back there with their wives or girlfriends. But it would also give me pause.

[Carin]

I tried on some dresses at Cato in a surburb of Oklahoma City and they made me use the restroom ! ugh,,,,,,otherwise they were bery nice !
Now that stinks.
I was asked to use the Men's fitting room once to try on a dress, but was in drab at the time. I was OK with that.

They put those up in shops that specialize ion "intimate" wear so the girls can try on the items without getting starred at my strange men. lol. Can't say I've ever seen one in a coat store.

As SherriPall said, coats are just a minor part of their stock at this point. The Ladies fitting room is an island in the middle of the Ladies Wear section, with Intimate wear right there by the entrance.


Hi Carin, :hugs:

What a co-incidence, Marla and I were in a Burlington Coat Factory in Sacramento yesterday looking for shoes for her (they had a sale) :)
Darn, I missed the Shoes section
Anyway, what a thought provoking post! "No men past here" would make me think too as I don't like thinking of myself as a "man" yet I know I am not a woman either. What am I? ... dunno :thinking: ... I'm just "me". In that context, just like you I feel that I would be able to go into the fitting room. Even if the attendant read you (and having met you in person I doubt it) Oh thank you Rachel. :hugs: they obviously didn't think you were a "man" :) I don't know what your CD journey is or where it will lead you, but I can see why you thought about this all the way home. Looking at how you were readily accepted as not being a man by a complete stranger would have made me think for a moment too ... and, for me, it would have been a happy thought :)

There was no issue of using the fitting room for me. As I said, either the attendant didn't realize or she didn't care. The thought provoking issue for me was that I give myself permission to not be a man. Let's face it, most men would be very insulted to be told "You are not a real Man!" That is our cultural stock. So to give ourselves permission to not be a "man", whether for the interval of being out dressed or 24/7, is a stage of acceptance and growth that is very significant. This is the reality of my journey. I have given myself permission to not be man, period. For the most part I do not think that much of it. Seeing the sign raised it to my consciousness and consideration, once more reaching the same conclusion. That is OK, I am OK.

Had the sign said "Women Only" I would have been more disturbed because I don't see myself as a woman either and thus would have had to break the rule (of course I would have anyway).

[tamarav]

I haven't seen a sign like that, not sure what I would do if I did run into one. Probably just as you did.

[Tracii G]

I was at Kohl's today and had a skirt and some dressy pants(womens)and a sweater on my arm and as I walked toward the dressing rooms an SA asked if I was finding everything I needed and if I wanted to try the items I had on picked out. Note I was in drab now, she checked each item and said OK go make sure they fit honey.There were women in there milling about and they never seemed to notice or care that a guy was holding a skirt waiting for a dressing room.
When I came out the SA asked if the items fit and I told her yes but the skirt was a little too short for winter.She agreed.No problems at Kohl's using the ladies fitting rooms.

[Marshchild]

I've had this experience too, of presenting unambiguously as a man while shopping for women's clothing, yet having the SA ask me if I'd like to try on the items I've selected, without any indication from me that I'm getting them for myself. I like it - it makes me think there's something about me that just twigs people to the fact I'm a CDer. Maybe it's my somewhat-feminized, baby-faced good looks! (That could also explain why they have no problem letting me use the ladies' changerooms - they figure I look pretty harmless.)

Oh, and on a related note, I had the funniest experience while clothes shopping a few days ago. I paid a visit to a place I've started to get clothes made, and told the sales staff there I was interested in getting a few new items made, among them a silver dress. Immediately, one of the staff - an Asian lady - started going on about how I didn't need to get something like that made; they already had some ready-made ones instore (it's a bit of an odd place: not only do they do dressmaking, they also stock women's formal wear and uniforms). Before I could argue, she'd dragged me over to some positively gorgeous silver evening dresses (which had actually caught my eye as I'd come into the store), grabbed one that she'd figured would be my size, thrust it into my arms, and in that somewhat excitable way Asian women often speak, pretty much pushed me towards the changerooms with the command of, "You go and try on!" Rather bemused by what was happening, I did as I was bidden, and was amazed to find that the dress fit me pretty much like a glove (something the sales stuff concurred with - they said I had just the right body for it). Of course, I bought it (giving thanks as I did so to the fact I'm single, and therefore have to justify my frivolous purchases to nobody but myself); now I just have to find something to wear it to!

[Laura_Stephens]

I was at Kohl's today and had a skirt and some dressy pants(womens)and a sweater on my arm and as I walked toward the dressing rooms an SA asked if I was finding everything I needed and if I wanted to try the items I had on picked out. Note I was in drab now, she checked each item and said OK go make sure they fit honey.There were women in there milling about and they never seemed to notice or care that a guy was holding a skirt waiting for a dressing room.
When I came out the SA asked if the items fit and I told her yes but the skirt was a little too short for winter.She agreed.No problems at Kohl's using the ladies fitting rooms.

Thanks for the heads up. I will shop at a Kohl's the next time I am on the road.

[Lesley Ann]

As usual I went shopping yesterday in London's West-End, and in particular to Mark & Spencer in their premier department store in Oxford Street. I bought a pair of brown corduroy jeans and then proceed to the fitting room. I showed my receipt to the lady attendant and told her that I wished to change into the jeans and what cubicle should I use, well the look of shock and horror on her face, good heavens you can't possibly change here, this is for ladies only! But, I explained they are ladies jeans size 12 and all I want to do is change into them and wear them out of the store, good heavens what ever next! You will have to go to the MENS changing room, end of story. By the by I did go up to the first floor and when I went into the mens changing room there were several women in there helping their husbands choose their clothes, so there is one law for one and other for me.
Just thought I'd update you on my efforts on behalf of the CD movement!
I will not give up!:wave:
Lesley Ann.