Do GGs pass?

[tamarav]

Everyday I am dressed and out and working amongst women and men. I read on this forum and hear from the transformation clients that I work with that they worry about "passing" more than any thing else.

Ask yourself this-- Do all GGs pass? Of course silly, they have to. But what is the difference between a GG and one of us? They, the GGs whether tall or short,beautiful or not, thin or not, have to pass because that is inherent in their gender. When we come along and want to pass at the same level that they (GGs) do, we run into the fear of not passing and stay hidden away from everyone.

What would the world do if every GG thought the same thing and stayed hidden, simply because they had some attribute that they felt was not "pass-worthy"?

I work with some females, that in any other setting would probably not be thought of as attractive. But, they do go out, pass, shop, work and everything else.

So what is our problem? We want to be perfect! We want every issue perfect before we venture out the door to be criticized by the world. We don't want to be criticized or embarrassed.

Guess what? The world doesn't really care! They are so worried about their own appearance, or not, that they may look at you but generally it is simply to search for a minor flaw or gloat or to deminish your attempts by realizing you are not a GG because of your fearful appearance and attitude.

We do stand out for obvious reasons. I get crap everyday from women about how I must spend so much time getting ready , "looking like a model", when they just throw their clothes on, at least most of them, and go to work. Most of them are just venting because I put more effort out than they did and I get more attention than they do. Which is OK if they don't want that sort of attention.

They are just like most of the guys out there that don't have a dress code to adhere to, they just throw something on and go.

We, as CDs, tend to have a perfection attitude that is highly visible. You notice it from 500 feet away when you spot an attractive woman that has taken pains to look good. We all can see that, so what makes you thinks women or GGs don't do the same thing.

Bottom line, if you want to pass, dress exactly like the women in the area you want to blend with. If you want to be spotted for whatever reason, then dress up and go for it.

I dress to be seen, no question. I stand out everywhere I go, but I am hoping that I am seen as a woman who takes the trouble to dress nicely rather than a guy that put one a wig.

Look around, there are GGs passing every day that don't....

Re-define your thoughts toward "passing", get out in drab and look at people, interact with them, walk among them. You will learn a lot.

[MJ]

thats great advice sis. when i first started i was told to just go to the mall in drab and take a look at the woman in my approximate age group and take note how they dress .
then go find clothing like them and then do what they do..
i have said many times that passing is over rated and almost imposable for many of us. but if you try to look the same try to blend in then nobody notices because there way too busy with there own life.
and over the now 5 years full time i found that advice to be true. i still believe it's our fear that stops us..

[Alice Torn]

Very well said! The dressing standards, have really gone downhill, the last 35 yrs. One who dresses classy, is the odd one now. Sloppy, or slobby, just throw anything on, is the norm. In lady wear, when i have gone out, i will not wear the modern normal UNIFORM of jeans, sneakers, and t-shirt, even though, my skirt, or dress, hose and heels, makes me stand out, or not pass.

[StephanieT]

I have learned that if I dress to blend in, nobody hardly notices. Yes that means jeans and a nice top. Wearing strappy heels, a short skirt, and showing cleavage will get you noticed but it will also get a GG noticed. A guy in an Armani suit will also get noticed. Just dress as a GG would and you would be amazed where you can go.

[Sarah Doepner]

I guess it comes down to choosing between having fun with the look and passing. I did have a conversation once with a woman who asked why we ( a group of CDs ) dressed up as much as we did. One of the things we told her was our desire to promote that wonderful look of womens fashion that is being neglected. Skirts, dresses, hose and heels are not seen as much as they should be. I understand the daily effort can get to be overwhealming, but this was on a Saturday night in Las Vegas! Why not put the effort in at times like that?

[Annemarie]

Very well said! The dressing standards, have really gone downhill, the last 35 yrs. One who dresses classy, is the odd one now. Sloppy, or slobby, just throw anything on, is the norm. In lady wear, when i have gone out, i will not wear the modern normal UNIFORM of jeans, sneakers, and t-shirt, even though, my skirt, or dress, hose and heels, makes me stand out, or not pass.

I agree totally, I dress classy or not at all, not point dressing like a woman dressing like a man, even if it does make you stand out ! Thank God some women still dress like ladies !

[Sue Too]

Hi Tammy and the Group

Tammy, You hit the nail right on the head (and that"s pretty good for a girly girl). I hope all our sisters who are hiding in the closet, looking for what is probably unattainable perfection will read this and take heart. GG's come in all sizes and shapes-------so can CD's. No, I would not recommend going out with a guy haircut and a days growth of beard, but short of this it is pretty much an open field.

Going out is not for everyone but it was for me. After several years of wishing but not doing-----I finally did. It has been wonderful. The freedom I feel is indescribable. Each trip out my door has given me added confidence. I would not revert back to my old self for anything in the world.

The first step over the threshold is the longest one. After that, the rest become easier. For me the key to my success is dressing to blend in. Reading about the wonderful adventures of my sisters here on the forum also gave me loads of confidence. If they can do it, I can do it, I told myself

I'm a little older and my beauty queen days are behind me. I do still try to look nice. In many instances I find myself on the plus side of the prevailing dress scale. For me, this works. I have never been challenged and I have made the rounds of Phoenix malls, museums, restaurants etc. Life on the streets is wonderful.

I have a suggestion to every sister out there with a yearning too venture beyond their front door. The New Year is coming. Make it a time for a new you. Make a plan. Start with a drive in the car. Next time, take the same drive and go to a self service gas station and fill up. Next time do the same thing and go in and buy a soft drink. With each new experience you will gain confidence.

The important thing is to feel good about yourself. If anyone has questions or would just like a friend to talk to, look me up. I would consider it an honor.

Tammy this was a wonderful post. I've been wanting to address this subject for a long time. You did it beautifully. Your good looks are exceeded only by your wisdom.:love:

Susan in Phoenix

[2b.Lauren]

I like this thread and I agree with it totally. I think if it is our goal to quote or unqoute pass than we must do what is necessary. I also agree that we are far so hung up on the acceptance, validation, and thoughts of others, that we relent any type of power we have as women and really as men to those that really do not care one way or the next. In male mode we are going out about our lives and business and because we are in our gender appropriate role and attire we are really not thinking about others. It really is not much different. People in general are just so busy living there life that as long as you are not threatening their lives as you pass by them it is of no real concern if you are doing that wearing a miniskirt with 3in heals or a suit and tie. Sure you are going to be noticed and once we get passed that then we approach another step to acceptance.

I have one really close gg friend that knows I dress and sadly she lives in Australia. I showed her some of the pictures that I took while dressed. She said honey you are dating yourself. You look (makeup shade choices) and are dressing like an old lady not a 43 yo women. You need to go out and about and watch women in your age group, you need to get your hands on fashion magazines and makeup magazines that emphisize 40 yo women so you can dress and look more like a women that is in your age range. I so greatly wish she and I lived closer. It would be so helpful because she was telling me to choose specific shades and so on. I just think we need to focus on who we are and what we desire to be. The rest of will take care of itsself.
:2c: from Lauren just not enough for a bad cuppa

[Kate Simmons]

Well Tammy since this is basically a "craft" to many of us, we just have a pride in our craft the way many craftsmen do, so put forth our absolute best efforts when we do it and go the extra mile or two. That's the way I look at it anyway.:)

[Jenna1561]

...I just think we need to focus on who we are and what we desire to be. The rest of will take care of itsself.
:2c: from Lauren just not enough for a bad cuppa

Well said Lauren. Each of us needs to find out who we are first and who we want to be second. Then determine what we need to do to get from who we are now to who we want to be.

We need to establish a sense of personal style based on elements of fashion we like and elements of fashion that flatter our body. Much as Stacey and Clinton do on "What Not To Wear," we need to establish a set of rules for purchasing right fitting and good looking clothing. Buying the right clothes is dollar smart and confidence building. Clothing that looks good on a mannequin, may be fun, but if it doesn't flatter you, it'll wind up just hanging in your closet. Try clothing on and critically evaluate what it does for your body.

When we create the look we want, we feel better about ourselves. When we feel good about ourselves, we exude confidence. Whether your goal is to blend in or stand out, knowing yourself and your goals are keys to succeess.

So, find out who you are, get out, be you, and have fun!


Jenna

[jessielee]

there seems to be a rift between dressing nice and dressing realistic and naturally. it's unfair to characterise all CDers as dressing only in stockings, pumps and fancy slink wear, many are blending in nicely by dressing casually. however, as much as i appreciate natural beauty and a gg just wanting to live without having to put on a production every day, in the big city the other week i saw so many who had simply stopped trying even basic care and self esteem, not just makeup but all around and not simply for poverty.
while dressing to the nines is exhilarating, any of us can practice craft and artistry, even simply.

[sometimes_miss]

GG's pass because 99% of the time, they are unmistakable female. Face it, our bodies are quite different, our gait, our mannerisms, we walk differently, our body language, and our behavior. That's why people can usually tell in an instant whether we are male or female, and are disturbed when faced with our appearance that isn't congruent with the rest of the 'evidence'. And, I wouldn't want to look like an unattractive, boring middle aged woman any more than I want to look like an unattractive, boring middle aged man. I'm not a TS; for me, it's about wearing the beautiful clothes and feeling pretty, not necessarily 'being a woman'. For, being an average woman isn't any sure fire way to enjoyment, we know that. Now, being a very beautiful woman, now that's another thing entirely. Sure, I would like to be a hot, beautiful, sexy chic, so that's the kind of clothes I wear, along with a long, shiny, silky hair, sexy wig. I do not wear granny panties, nor do I have any desire to dress like grandma and wear a short, curly gray wig. Some make up mogel once wrote that there are no ugly women, just lazy ones, implying that you can look good if you're willing to do the work necessary on your appearance. Most women who are 'unattractive' have given up on trying to look good; they believe everyone should ignore their appearance and love their ugly selves, and that anyone who believes otherwise is 'shallow'. I could never pass as a woman (well, o.k., maybe as one of those iron curtain era russian female shotputters) so I don't go out dressed in girl stuff. But when I go out as a guy, I try to dress well, and look absolutely the best I can. I may not be pretty, but I do try to be 'well put together'.

[Alice Torn]

Sometimes Miss, I love the title. or handle! I could not agree more with your reply! Most are too lazy to look nice, in our modern era.

[Wendy me]

know what???............ you go out dressed as any other GG would for were your going .... do your thing and don't try to stand out .... and 99% of the time your going to have no trouble ....... you talk about GG'S passing lol i know guys that could not pass as a guy if they had to ...... to me passing is going out doing your thing and coming home without any trouble..................

[sherib]

One thing your forgetting, they don't have to pass. They have the inner confidence knowing who and what they are. They are what they are. If there is any dought about who or what they are, they can prove it. We can be herassed or arrested in certain situation.

[Teri Jean]

Lauren,
You are more right than you know. Thankyou for showing us the obvious and with the relaxed dress code we have today if you dress to the nines you will be noticed. Huggs Keli

[Lanore]

I agree with Tamara on this. You can learn so much from watching other women. I usually pick women around my age and size. I guess I'm too busy watching to worry about passing. When I catch someone looking at me too long, I imagine they wished they looked as good as I do or they wished their boobs looked as good as mine. I stay positive about myself and that makes the journey so much more pleasant.

Lanore

[MsJanessa]

Tamara you are absolutly right Darling---I, like you, dress and get done up to be as attractive as I can be, not to pass as a GG---if I wanted to do that I would dress down, wear little or no makeup, hair just plain and no high heels---that is definatly not Me--I think that when most of the T-Girls here say they want to "pass" what they really mean is they want to "pass" as a beautiful, stunning woman--well don't We all, including most GGs I know. It should be less about "passing" and more about being attractive.

[Denise01]

I fully agree with Lanore, that we can learn a lot just by watching other women our age.

I find that when i am out, I dress for my age, and also dress to where i am going. If you are going to a mall shopping, you do not wear a saturday night party dress, but then also you do not want to wear scrub jeans that you would wear out in the garden.

I find that dressing my age, and having the confidence to go out and mingle with people, that 98% of the time i do not have a second look that i might be other than female.

Confidence goes a long way and being polite to the people around is a big factor.

Just a couple of weeks ago, when on Vacation, I was in a Ladies wear store and bought a couple of skirts. Got talking to the sales person, and she asked me where i was from.

When i told her, she commented , I thought you were from the North with your accent, but at no time did i detect that she thought I was anything other than a lady our for a day of shopping

Denise

[Jolene]

You wrote a very good thread Tammy and it does make sense. I could never pass so there is no worry there. I do wish I could wear some of my more female clothes out and about but for now I do what I can. I agree with your comments about some GGs. My workplace has many women there and the range goes from some putting makeup and some thought into what they wear and some others just throwing on what clothes are handy. There are a couple of ladies who who come to mind that with a bit of effort would look quite nice but they are not concerned about it. They are just going to work is all.

[Toni_Lynn]

This thread made me immediately think of a dearly departed aunt of mine. She had a stocky frame, and was quite honestly -- big strong Slovak woman, good for pulling plow! No hourglass shape there. Yet no one ever doubted that she was a woman because she carried herself with grace and decorum.

Yep -- just be confident, dress 'normal' for what you are doing (err -- no shiny stilettos and micro minis to buy milk and bread when it is -15 c), and you'll pass!

Huggles

Toni-Lynn

[Juanita O]

Tamara

I totally agree with you on this subject. I go to the mall in drab mode and i watch the other women in the mall and see how they are dressed, most of the women are wearing Levis with little or no makeup, hair pulled back or they are wearing a hat( ball cap). Very few are made up except the women that work in some of the shops in the mall.:hugs:

[Paulette]

Walk like a duck, dress like a duck , and quack like a duck and everyone will think you are a duck. Passing is over rated in that you have to screw up your presentation to find out if it worked. If you blend with the other ladies in the are a you are at, you will have a good time and not be bothered anyone.

I have gone out and stood in line in the ladies room and no one said a word except your turn and thank you when I said next.

Sis you are once again dead on target, look your best and to hell with the rest.

[CD Susan]

Tamarav, thanks for the interesting and informative post. I started going out dressed about six months ago and have a level of confidence that lets me pass without any problems. At least this is how I percieve it. I tend to overdress and not dress age appropriate because that is what I am most comfortable with. When I dress in jeans and flats to blend in I may be doing so but I just don't feel comfortable dressed this way. I prefer a skirt over jeans any day but I know that hardly any women wear a skirt to the grocery store or to a shopping center. This is why I have to make a concious effort to tone it down and dress like the rest of the upper middle aged women so as not to draw attention to myself. It is not as much fun but it is the practicle thing to do.

[Alice Torn]

Toni, Yes, you are so right about extreme cold weather. A lot of us have not experienced going out in that , dressed as ladies! If I were going out, in that, I guess I'd have to consider some blasted jeans! No skirt, or dress, or heels!

[marie354]

Well put, Tamara!
When I stopped trying to "pass" and just was being myself, things went a lot smoother for me.
I still get "read", but I really don't care anymore.
Going blonde helped a lot, I get "ma'am" or "miss" more often now and I like that, but I still get "read". Especially by teen girls.

Some guys don't notice at all... They are looking at my boobs or my legs and don't notice the sometimes bluish tint of my upper lip. That's OK, I'm not interested in them anyway.

For the most part, no-one really cares. Even when they can tell. As you said... They have so much going on in their own lives to worry about someone else's.

Even the girls in the salon I go to think I'm doing OK.

So, stopping worrying about what others think has helped me go forward and be myself. It even helped my depression. I no longer need the meds. (Thanks Doc.)
:)

[Leslie Langford]

I, too, agree with Tamara in principle, and - with no disrespect intended - if Julia Child, Margaret Thatcher, Golda Meir, and Janet Reno were able to "pass" successfully, then there is still hope for most CDer's out there.

However, as some of the other ladies here have pointed out, a big part of this is being able to effortlessly emulate the quintessential female mannerisms which come narurally to them, but ones that we have to deliberately work at. The swaying walk, the way we hold our hands, purses, coffee cups etc., the way we cross our legs, enter and exit a car, smooth down our skirts as we sit down - those and 1001 other subtle gestures are all ones we need to be aware of and work consciously to emulate. And at the risk of appearing politically incorrect, are these not also the streotypical mannerisms that society still associates with gay men and that - rightly or wrongly - still label someone as such if they happen to display them?

To really get a sense of what I am talking about, just watch the Australian series "Summer Heights High" now playing on HBO. They have one extremely talented (and slightly-built) actor on it whose name escapes me at the moment but who plays three roles simultaneously - a prissy drama teacher ("gay" acting, as per the above), a typical doltish teenaged guy, and a female character Ja'mie who recently transferred from a private school and is desperately trying to fit in and establish a place for herself within the girl cliques.

The actor is quite passable as a female on appearance alone, but what really clinches his portrayal (and blows me away) is how effortly he mimics the usual teenaged female body language and manerisms - whether it is the way he seductively flips his hair, talks on the cell phone, or exitedly moves his hands and arms etc. A big part of this is also the way he speaks - not only the higher pitch of the voice, but also the uniquely female inflections.

That, in my mind, is what really cliches it when it comes to truly "passing" as a woman, even if you resemble a testosterone-infused female East German Olympic gold medal shot-putter.

Conversely, you can go to a transformation service and have yourself so totally glammed up that even the drag queens would be jealous, but if you still walk like the Incredible Hulk, you will be "read".

[DanaR]

One of the things that I've noticed is that most women now days if they are wearing makeup, it is a very natural look. Where we tend to overdress whenever we go out; so we'll get a lot of attention. If you see a GG that is all dressed up, they will draw a lot of attention as well.

[DanaR]

If you ever get a chance to go to a transgendered or CD convention, everyone that appears to be female will be scrutinized because people just aren’t sure who is who. I’ve seen some very beautiful GG’s being questioned, by people outside of the community, about their gender.

[michelle2b]

This is an excellent post! To be honest, most genetic females do not really "pass" if you observe them very carefully. And most genetic men look like transmen if you observe them very carefully.

The reason genetic females pass does have a lot to do with confidence (well, they are genetic females and they know it). A transwoman trying to fit in or trying to imitate, will obviously know at the back of their mind that she is "trying". This results in a lack of confidence.

In addition, I also agree with Lexi's message:


Face it, our bodies are quite different, our gait, our mannerisms, we walk differently, our body language, and our behavior.


The way you sit, walk, stand, etc has a lot to do with your center of gravity and the way your bodies are structured. It is very easy to get read, if someone cares enough to read us. If you see most transwomen at a distance, you will be able to read them if you really care to.

After taking hormones for a few years, your center of gravity will shift, but there will still be other things. You might look and sound like a woman, like a perfectly attractive woman, but when you speak, you will give yourself away through the words and phrases you use, the tone of your voice, etc. I am even able to detect from writing styles if the author is inherently more "masculine" or "feminine".

The good thing about life in most parts of the world is that most people around us do not care. They have their own problems to deal with. They do not care enough to read you, unless you are too attractive and attract attention. If you blend in and you are confident about being yourself, you won't get read in most cases.

[sterling12]

Oh gosh Tamara, absolutely true. The Mantra of "passing" always seems to be a primary thing for way too many Crossdressers.

Since coming out of The Closet, I think I have become more sensitive to other Crossdressers out there. I want to be validated by My Sister's, and I'm always keeping an eye out for a possible kindred spirit who might be out shopping.

Guess what? There are an awful lot of women out there who could be mistaken for crossdresser's, and probably for all the wrong reasons. Movie Stars and beautiful people are very rare, and often the product of a lot of work by makeup artists and beauticians. "The Norm," is folks who look just like us, some very plain, some masculine both male and female, some who are anything but petite.

Think about it, hardly anyone gives a second look to a plain or heavy individual, whether male or female. In effect, they are "blending." So, for Sister's who want to try life out of the closet, the first rule should be quite simple: "Ignore all other people around you, don't search faces for recognition, don't listen for whispers, don't behave like you have something to hide!" Second Rule is wear "The Standard Uniform." Take an actual look at what women are wearing when they shop, if it's poly pants, and a shapeless top just do the same. Whatever is the "Uni," just copy the style. If you follow these two rules, it Will work 99% of the time. Suddenly, your not drawing attention, and you start to relax....."Gee, that was a lot easier than I thought!"

You all hang out in the bedroom if you want. If your tired of doing that, pay attention to what The Folks on this forum are telling you. It is not impossible!

Peace and Love, Joanie

[Tracii G]

Tami I'm with you on this subject.If you blend in you pass.I do sometimes dress in fancier clothes ie skirt,hose and heels but nothing over the top and blend in as well.
Every now and then I dress to be noticed sexy top mini skirt but not shopping at the mall or grocery.
Girls its not that hard to "pass" really.

[vivianann]

Well said Tamarav, self confidence plays a large part in passing when we go out dressed as a woman. peaple are too busy to care what you are wearing if you you are dressed in a way that you do not stand out. Since I crossed the threshold for the first time I have come along way in gaining confidence. I do not pass 100%, however because I show confidence and dress appropriate for the situation, most peaple do not notice and really do not care what I am wearing. When I go out dressed enfemme I get many compliments from women about my hair, makeup, legs, clothes, and the confidence I have. For those who want to go out, but are too concerned about passing, forget about passing 100%, like Tamarav and others have posted, get dressed and go out, even if it is for a walk to the mailbox, or a drive in your car, it is an exilerating experience in the beginning, but as your confidence grows and you are going out enfemme more and more, the adrenalin rush does go away, however the freedom you feel when you are dressed out in public is very comforting, and a sense of belonging. Last weekend I went to Dillards in fashion place mall in Murray. Utah dressed as Vivian and go a makover at the makup counter, (I was invited by one of the employees to come there for the makover) I had a wonderful time there, and the ladies there treated me as one of them, even though they knew I was a male dressed as a woman. I wore a nice maroon dress that day, and I fit right in with the women there, most of them were wearing dresses that day also. I went shopping after that and I was treat very well by everyone that I encountered that day, and the other shoppers there were too busy to even care how I was dressed. You do not have to be perfect to pass. And you do not need to care what peaple think.

[battybattybats]

But not all GG's do pass!

There have been cases where GGs have been mistaken for transexuals, crossdressers or men.

There have been two cases this year IIRC of GG's being thrown out of womens toilets because they failed to pass!

[Sometimes Steffi]

While I'm not sure that there are many women that don't pass, there are a number that marginally pass. What I mean by that, it that you look at them and wonder if the person is really a man or a woman. Sometimes it's facial structure, sometimes it's short hair, sometimes it's "manly" dress without any other contradictory indications like makeup, sometimes it's comportment, like how they walk or how they eat. I would never say anything to them because it would be an insult either way, but they're out there.

[tamarav]

As I go back and read all the replies to this post I just have to laugh about Friday. I was alone in the beauty shop and this guy walks in for a haircut. Dressed just like everyone else around here, plaid shirt, rubber boots, keys dangling. Hair was a bit long and he wanted a fairly tight buzz cut, no real hair to grab onto, just really short so it would not interfere with his baseball cap and leave no cap line.

While I was cutting his hair a Deputy Sheriff walked in, said "Hi Tami" and took a seat. One of my regulars. Then he looked up and directed his attention to my client. He said "Hey Marge, when are you guys harvesting potatoes?: My client remarked "Oh, about a month ago, you missed it all. Do you need any?"

Now here I stand thinking I am cutting a guys hair and it was Marge, go figure..

She gave me the typical farmer tip and away she went. The Deputy just laughed at me, he knew I thought she was a he. The Deputy lives right down the street from me and is a great friend, even though he says he still has no idea why I dress...

[Schatten Lupus]

I've seen plenty of GG's that look more like boys. I know one girl who was dating a girl who looked no different than any typical 12 year old boy. This girl even knows she looked like that. She had no problems with it. Just more annoyed by it than anything.

[Sometimes Steffi]

Tamara

I would expect that you would be very observent, given that you're a CD and a cosmetologist. So there was nothing to give her away. Clean "shaven" face, high voice, woman's walk?

Steffi

[TGMarla]

When I dress, I do that "whole 9 yards" thing you talked about. So I'm sure I get spotted, as a man in a dress or as a woman, from that 500 feet away you mentioned. If I see a well-dressed woman from a distance, it still grabs my attention, and not just because I like the clothes. So it stands to reason that when I go out, which is really rare, I'm going to draw some attention, good or bad. But one of the reasons I like to dress is because I can wear such clothes and do my makeup and my hair. So to me, dressing down just to blend and thus not draw any stares just isn't much of an option. For me, much of the luster of crossdressing goes away when I dress down instead of up.

Does this give me a greater chance of being read? Maybe. But most of the people I encounter only see me for a couple of seconds as I walk by, and they are then caught up again in whatever it is they were doing just before they saw me. And I don't tend to go out of my way for interpersonal contact when I'm dressed.

So read or not, at least I'm not a slob like many of the women I run into...or past. :D

[docrobbysherry]

I was eating lunch, when I couple that had been sitting a few tables away, walked by me on their way out. Up close, I thot surely she was a CD! She was quite ordinary looking. The only reason I noticed her before, was because she was talking so loudly. I knew she was a GG by her voice.
Otherwise, I would have bet $$ she was a guy in a dress!:eek:

Proof that what u say happens!:heehee:

[Wantin_to_play]

Tamara, I'm hoping I can learn a thing or three from YOU!
I've dreamt of being like you for MANY years!

Thanks for taking the time to advise us of your wisdom!!

Breannan

[charlie]

Hello Tamara!
Thanks again for the uplifting message. Yes, I try to look good. Yes, I spend lots of time and effort on my makeup. Yes, I get into great outfits and do get compliments. However, GG's have the skin, real curves and woman's faces. I can't change my manly face no matter what I do. Women's faces are rounder, softer and just a woman's face. I think a lot of us have this problem. Especially when you look like Robin Williams!

[Fab Karen]

In everyday life out in boy-mode, stop & think to yourself, Do I pass as a man?:heehee:

Fortunately I live in a world-class city where diversity isn't a four-letter-word, so you can see GG's out & about in everything from jeans & sneakers to dresses & heels.

One other thing: if you want to feel better about "not being perfect" Google: celebrities without make-up.

[MissConstrued]

I get crap everyday from women about how I must spend so much time getting ready , "looking like a model", when they just throw their clothes on, at least most of them, and go to work. Most of them are just venting because I put more effort out than they did and I get more attention than they do.


I was a little taken aback when some friends told me I made a better looking girl than a guy. But it's really just the difference between taking three minutes to get ready to go out the door, and taking three hours.

And I've seen plenty of occasions where more heavy-set GGs will get more male attention than nearby women with better figures. The difference is how well they put themselves together. If the attractive girl is dressed like a ned because she doesn't want any attention, fine. But she shouldn't complain about the attention given the fat girls who dress nicely and wear makeup.

[Ediosa]

All I want to say to that, is "Amen sister"

:daydreaming::heehee::thumbsup:

The first time I went out, I wore tight jeans, a nice blouse, my makeup was made up for going out, and wearing my knee high 3.5" stilletoe boots with jeans tucked in. I was dressed as though I was going out to a club. Plus, this was a Wednesday. I wasn't wearing jewelry cause I didn't have any, other than earings. I went to a Walmart, that knew me as a guy who wears heels and a skirt on occassions. The ladies of this Walmart knew me, but when I walked in, no one said anything or did anything. They didn't even noticed that it was me. I eventually went to one of the ladies I talked to a lot, and she didn't recognize me even close. (Very happy that I passed) I finally looked at her in the eyes and she finally looked and after a couple of minutes it was "OMG". She said that she never would of recognized me. She told me that everyone noticed this well dress woman enter the Walmart, and everyone was wondering why because being well dressed is not seen a lot in Walmart. I was complimented on my makeup and how I was dressed. One lady told me I looked good and all I needed was the hormones. I told her no thanks cause I like women way to much.

Therefore, just like you said, it's about wanting to look good, and wanting to be seen. Wanting to look good as a well dressed woman and not as a man in dress.

So, again "Amen, sister"

:)

[Billijo49504]

As I've always said, go to the grocery store and see what the GG are wearing and what they look like. And as I've said, GG look like a lot of different ways, Fancy, skanky, and just comfy. So just go out and have fun and noone will give you any problems. Unless you stand in front of the toilet the wrong way....BJ

[JoAnne Wheeler]

Technically, all GGs pass - they may look awful, but they still pass because they are GGs. As I have stated repeated on this website, from looking at GGs everywhere of all shapes, sizes, races, ages, etc, I think that Cders as a group dress much better than 90% of GGs - most GGs don't care how they look, but to us, we really do care - and that's my opinion
Love,
JoAnne Wheeler

[kimberly ann487]

Tammi you're a 100 % correct. We as a group worry too much about "passing". I live in a mostly blue collar town where everyone dresses , to say it nicely, "casual". Jeans and sweats everywhere even church. In the last few years I've got in the habit of observing the GG's as recomended in this forum. I've found myself thinking, gee I could look better than her, I have nicer legs than her, etc. So passing isn't my, or any of our, biggest problem. Being ourselves and being at peace with ourselves and our loved ones is more important. Just my opinion:2c:
KIM

[Sam-antha]

Dress and go, believing.

[KimberlyS]

Tamara, great post and I so much agree with you.


GG's pass because 99% of the time, they are unmistakable female.

Miss, I see it more like 99.99% of the time GG's have one or more very masculine features. Put GG's and males in the same masculine clothes and most GG's would have trouble passing as a GG as much as us cders do. A lot what makes a GG is the clothes, their hair and the front bumpers.


One thing your forgetting, they don't have to pass. They have the inner confidence knowing who and what they are. They are what they are.

Sheri, DING DING, DING, DING. IMHO you have hit it on the nose. IMHO going out enfemme is mostly personal acceptance and confidence. Looks just adds some visual affects to the package. Your acceptance brings out more confidence and both come out through your actions and interactions with others.

IMHO the first two steps to going out enfemme are:

- Personal acceptance of who you are. You are a person who likes to wear feminine clothing in some form or way.

- You must personally accept it is ok for you to be who you are and it is ok for you to go out in public wearing those feminine clothes.