Happy middle?

[tiger]

I came out to my SO about a month ago. She has been very receptive, but after some very long conversations/crying sessions. I've decided that for now it is in my SO and kids best interest to keep living my "male" life.

Both of us want me to go to therapy. I'm having a hard time finding a therapist who specializes in gender issues. I'm probably going to have to settle for a open therapist. Probably wont be until after the new year.

I'm still new to my recently discovered self and I want to get some of it straighten out by myself before going to therapy.

Even though I feel the need to be a woman, I can't come to grips with giving up my current life for her. Yes, I don't have a feminine name as I don't differentiate either side.

I Love my SO and kids. I have a great job that I like. My employer has polices for TG people, but I would have to move to another position. Which is not something I want to to in this economy.

I don't see myself is either male or female. Can one live life half way in between?

[Carole Cross]

Tiger, I have just announced my decision to make the transition; see post "The end is near. I feel that I need to do this because my male life has run its course and I need to explore my feminine side.
Unlike you, however, I am single so it will be easier for me. I hope you can come to terms with your feminine side and see where it leads. It will be tough on you and your family but I hope you will get through. I feel your pain.:hugs:

[AmandaM]

Even though I feel the need to be a woman, I can't come to grips with giving up my current life for her. I don't see myself is either male or female. Can one live life half way in between?

Yes, I think so. I am trying to come to grips with it myself. One thing for sure, I'm completely depressed and unhappy if I don't embrace the feminine, at least on a part-time schedule. I am becoming more fem, but still look good in drab. I think I am TS. But, I don't know for sure since I am not willing to do the real life test. Same thing. Family, job, etc. I can't destroy my family just because I want to "try" the real life test. If I decide it's not for me, I've ruined everything. So, I'll just get as close as I can part-time. And I do feel much better. It might be enough to sustain me mentally.

[deja true]

Tiger...you can live half way, quarter way, eighth way, sixteenth way...whatever way as long as you're happy that way....

....and as long as you're confident that you're doing the absolute right thing for all those that rely on you, not just yourself...

Read extensively here...go through the archives looking for the relationship threads...and you'll see that there are as many ways to deal with this thing of ours as there are folks talking about it.

And get your wife involved. That's important! If she's already willing to talk about it, you're lucky.

Good luck, tiger!

respect & love,

deja

:<3:

[Kaitlyn Michele]

Tiger

:daydreaming: it's really totally up to you!!! i think you can do what you want although i can't imagine that people can effectively work day to day in different gender roles every day....which might not leave much male time for the family...

i will only say that i consider being ts similar to a biological need....it's about your true nature... and if you go against your nature, then it will be more difficult over time (at least that was my experience)..

if you "live halfway" you may find that you thrive and i bet lots of girls feel that way..

[Scotty]

I don't see myself is either male or female. Can one live life half way in between?

I see myself as male *and* female.

Yes.

[Valerie]

Of course one can. Many of us do. The question is more, is this the best way of living? As others have said, I am sure there is no general answer to this question. Not only would the answer vary from person to person, but to each one of us at different times in our lives. I hope you find your place of happiness in the way! (... and that this place can include your family and friends). Wishing you all the best,

Valerie

[morgan51]

I agree one can live in the middle both male and female it is a personal decision specific to each psyche. I am comfortable as i am for now that seems to always be in flux though. Morgan

[Melissa A.]

If there's one common thread here, it's that stuff changes. You're still really early in this. You have an advantage, in a spouse who seems to have your well-being in mind. Children are another issue, and a difficult one, for anyone who goes through this. Find a good gender therapist. extensively search the web, there are even some credible ones that work by phone, if you really are in that remote an area. That would be a start. Things as they are today are often different looking tomorrow. And know that therapy really does work. I wish you strength and good luck.

Hugs,

Melissa :)