I have some decisions to make!!!

[Felix]

I had a phone call late from my sister last night which has left me with little sleep. My dad is like deteriorating fast and I'm so thinking that he won't make it to the new year the way things are going :(:(:( I'm in constant touch with them since I came back and had my op but they want more which is totally understandable. Last night she asked me when I would be able to go back as things are looking grim :(:( She said they all needed my support particularly Dad. She said when I'm around he seems so much calmer and that everyone has commented on this. Thing is my Dad and I just don't need words ya know we have a special connection. Jez I feel like crying :(
Thing is me going back will mean my mum seriously getting over my hair coz I cut it on my return last time not as short as usual but none the less in her eyes short. I will say something this time though if she says anything coz my dad is the important one not how she feels about my b***** hair. So I will have to get a decision off my son if he's coming or not over Christmas coz it may be the last time he sees his Grandad which I have already told him to prepare himself for this which one never can really but I have to say it any ways :( I had it dropped on me out of the blue that he is going to his uncles down south at christmas instead of spending it with me. This will be his Dads doing I have no doubt as he has already given him a very expensive xmas present which is so totally consumming for any teen that he hasn't been over to see me even though I've been in hospital myself.
As usual my closest friends have been around me more than my family and my on line friends have been a god send :)
Well thanx for listening coz I'm feeling kinda strange right now!!!!xx Felix :hugs:

[Sandra]

Felix

:hugs: :hugs:

[Sheila]

Hun told ya .........you got severe head lice infestation to cover the hair thing with mom.

Hun you got to go cos if anything happened and you were not there you would never ever forgive yourself.

Sending you load and loads:hugs: hun

[Holly]

Dear Felix, you know what you have to do. FWIW, you have my admiration and respect for standing up for your dad and yourself. It's a shame about your son, but give him a chance... he is young, afterall. Perhaps a good teaching opportunity on values?

[MJ]

Hun told ya .........you got severe head lice infestation to cover the hair thing with mom.

Hun you got to go cos if anything happened and you were not there you owuld never ever forgive yourself.
Sending you load and loads:hugs: hun

hi Felix my heart goes out to you. but you should go. i agree with Sheila . :hugs:

[NateX]

Dude, that's really rough. Imho, you need to go be with your dad. If everyone else can't put things aside at a time like this, then they're gonna be the ones dealing with the knowledge that they made a very stressfull event even more so. :hugs:

[ZenFrost]

I'm sorry you have such bad news Felix. :hugs:

[Poltergeist]

I'm sorry :hugs: Maybe your mom won't say anything about the hair, because of the situation?

I had the same problem with my mom, by the way. And I hadn't just cut it - I had shaved my head. It was bad enough when I cut it short, so I expected a drama... but the first time she saw me bald, at first she didn't mention it at all, and then about 2 hours later, she suddenly said, "it must be easier for you to scratch your head now"... like she spent 2 hours thinking of something positive to say, and that was all she could come up with, haha!

[mylitta]

Sorry you are having such a rough time, Felix. :hugs: It's just awful to go through this, but you will have to be with your dad as much as possible. As for your hair-if I was your mum, I wouldn't care what your hair was like at a time like this.

[GG Pearls]

Hi Felix,

Reading your situation made my heart just go out to ya pal! Gosh, first here's some love...:love: and some flowers to cheer ya.

I was thinking wow that sucks about your son being sent over to Uncle's for Christmas, but it clears the way for you to just be you when you are with your Dad, you won't have the added work of keeping track of how your son is doing with the situation. So it's a mixed blessing, maybe, that your son has other things to do that day?

About your Mum, well, she probably expects the new 'do by now. If she comments, you could just say, Mum, not now, please. My hair means nothin in the scheme of things...ya know?

Here is what I do in times of stress, to keep things from going out of control. I use the H.A.L.T. acronym. Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired. If you are Hungry or thirsty, take care of it before anything else. If you are Angry, write it down and tear it up or punch a pillow or anything that relieves anger for you without drugs or drink. If you are Lonely, reach out until someone gives you what you need, reach up to your Higher Power, into your own conciousness with meditation, out to people next to you, on the forum, on the phone, etc. And if you are Tired, then rest or sleep.

Felix this is an intense walk for you, and we love you and support you. :rose2:

[Felix]

Hi my friends and thanx so much for your unerstanding of my situation :hugs:
I just had to get it off my chest the other night as you probabaly all realized :hugs: I am going to my parent' theres no question of that at all and if my mum starts I'll deal with it as tactfully and as sensitively as posible :)
I just have to talk to my son and deal with him as sensitively as possible and explain that this might be the last time he gets to see his grandad :( Thanx again xx Felix

[Poltergeist]

Felix when I was 10 and my grandad was dying, I was terrified of seeing him. I was afraid of seeing him that ill, in a hospital bed. I didn't know how I was supposed to react or act around him.

I remember my mom yelling at me, and that it didn't make it better at all. But then my dad talked to me about it, and he told me that it was ok to be scared, but that it was important for my grandad to say goodbye, that he was still the same person even though he was ill, and that I would be very upset later if I didn't go see him. So I did, and I'm very glad I did.

So, my advice would be to keep in mind that maybe your son is uncomfortable with the situation too, so be gentle when you talk to him about it.

[Wendy me]

Felix go be with your dad .... my dad passed not long ago i did everything i could for him .... he is gone now and no regrets ... you only get one chance to say good bye ... good for you to get it that it's about your dad and not your mom..... go be with him .....

[GG Pearls]

I think your hair looks terrific! :battingeyelashes:

[StephanieT]

Felix,

Go be with your Dad. If you being there makes him happy, you should be there. Don't worry about your son. I am sure he loves you and when he gets older, he will have a more mature head and I am sure he will come back to spend time with you. His dad is just trying to buy his love and keep him away from you.

:hugs:Steph