Going out in public advice.

[kelly1469]

I have this urge now to go out in public fully dressed. I have the clothes and make up sorted now (don't have a wig so would style my own short hair?)

Any advice or pointers on doing this?

Thanks girls! x

[JaniceP]

Kelly, the first time is soooooooo exciting as well as upseting.

The First time I went out it was to a Strip Club.

I wore my pretty clothes underneath. One of the girls came over and started rubbing my chest and back.

She found I was wearing a bra and Girdle, stockings etc.

She did do my makeup and helped me with a wig.

So be calm, it may be the Best outing you ever had,


Love

Janice

[TommiTN]

Kelly, I don't know if you're planning to do this alone or in a group. If you have the intestinal fortitude to go solo your first time out definitely go for it. I had to go with a group the first few times and the other girls are an immense help when/if you get a case of the vapors. If you have the least bit of trepidation about this seek out a group in your area for your first time or two. You won't regret it.

:hugs: and good luck!

[Deanna2]

You'll never, never know if you never, never go.

[slamddoger]

just keep your cool and you will be ok out there

[Karren H]

Yeah... SMILE!! :D

[darla_g]

i dunno not much desire to go out and test the waters. i would like to get better first and figure out how to deal with the voice if i have to talk.

[Nicki B]

Get yourself reasonably comfortable with your look, first - maybe practice moving in front of a video camera, so you get an idea of how you will come across to others?

But don't expect perfection, or you'll never get out. Where would you like to go?

[charlie]

Hello Kelly!
The hardest part for me when I first went out was getting out of the car. Choose a place around where you live that is going to be accepting of you no matter how you look. I went to a gay bar that caters to transexuals because I knew nothing about makeup, wigs or much of anything except that I wanted to wear lady's clothes out. I loved the look. I was treated well, taken under several CD's wings and told where to go for wigs and other clothes. Here I was in a mini skirt, forms, bra, nylons and great heels.......no wig, makeup or style. A true man in a dress. I was accepted (felt sorry for) and given direction. Short story, go to a place where you will be accepted and have a great time!

[MJ]

just relax have fun enjoy your time out. don't move too fast act like you belong oh did i say relax.... have fun

[Alice Torn]

Did I see what I thought I saw, in those hockey penalties? I grew up in Illinois, and was a Blackhawk fan. I heard of cross checking , but never a penalty for cross dressing! Karrren!

[sterling12]

First time out can be exhilarating and traumatic. I would give myself every advantage possible. If a wig would help you to cope better, get yourself down to the el-cheapo wigstore downtown and pick up something that will make you feel complete.

Trust me, wigstores are so used to seeing guys buying wigs I would doubt that it would even elicit a thought. Just don't go crazy with a "giant drag queen style." It's not going to help your composure if you look in the mirror and see one of The Supreme's!

By the way, have fun! You only get one "first time." You'll probably be in such a state it will seem like time compresses, and all too quickly it will be time for Cinderella to head on home. Try to absorb as much of the experience as you can. We are all pulling for you.

Peace and Love, Joanie

[Bethany_Anne_Fae]

For me, the hardest part of going out was just walking through my front door. After that initial rush of emotion... eveything else was incredibly easy. Just take your time, choose your clothing to fit your outing, and have fun!

*hugs*

Zarabeth

[Salene]

Yeah... SMILE!! :D

:iagree:, cuz after all, it's about having fun. Good luck!

[windycissy]

You gotta play to win...for tips on how to pass convincingly, check out my Internet advice column, Ask Windy Cissy (http://snurl.com/askwindy)

[Holly]

Hold your head up, your shoulders back, dress to blend in, and SMILE. If you act like you belong, most people will accept you as you are.

[Billijo49504]

You now have the best time to go out dressed. Now everyone is so concerned with their own shopping, they won't be paying attention to you. Get dressed, do your makeup, to blend in, then grab the door knob, turn it and open the door and walk out. Head to a big mall, and go shopping or wndow shopping. But have fun at it. Also, pay attention to the other women in the mall, there are all sizes, shapes and level of dress. So unless you really try to stand out, you should be OK...BJ

[Sammy777]

I went to a gay bar that caters to transexuals because I knew nothing about makeup, wigs or much of anything except that I wanted to wear lady's clothes out. I loved the look.

You could also do what I did.
Once you find a place you want to visit do it in drab first so you can at least get the layout & feel for the place.
That should help get rid of some of the gitters when you decide to go back there dressed.


Here I was in a mini skirt, forms, bra, nylons and great heels.......no wig, makeup or style. A true man in a dress.

Wow! You are a very brave soul! :notworthy:

[CD Susan]

You are going to love your first time out. Just dress to blend in and even though you are nervous don't let it show. Act with confidence and you will do allright. Of course if you have a friend to go with you it will be easier. I started going out six months ago and now it is easier than I ever imagined it would be. Just go for it, you will not regret it.

[Sally2005]

My advice... get a wig at a wig shop. You want to look as good as possible on your first time because you will be scared to death and you probably don't want to be noticed too much. I found by taking digital photos from all angles, I could judge how well I did my makeup, if you look in the mirror, it is amazing what information your brain substitues for its own benefit.

[BeckiB]

My advice... get a wig at a wig shop. You want to look as good as possible on your first time because you will be scared to death and you probably don't want to be noticed too much. I found by taking digital photos from all angles, I could judge how well I did my makeup, if you look in the mirror, it is amazing what information your brain substitues for its own benefit.

I agree with Sally. If n ot from a wig shop (and that is the first choice) then check ebay. After that just relax

[Chari]

Great advice from all previous posts! Can only add always be SAFE, comfortable, and confident in yourself! The more often you get out and about - the more you will feel and enjoy your feminine side.

[Nicki B]

even though you are nervous don't let it show. Act with confidence and you will do allright.

You can't expect not to be nervous - but pretend you're confident, and have a perfect right to be yourself (a transperson), and you will discover a very important truth - people believe you. :)

And when they believe, you start to really believe it, yourself.. :D

[MarianMalo]

One idea worth exploring - take a vacation to a TG/CD friendly city (such as SF) where no one knows you - and go for it.... I've done that, and had a great time once I got over my nervousness.

[Cari]

Best advice I got was "Chest out ; shoulders back and smile"

I did my first outing with a group which helped allot.
I met them in the lobby and that door was so heavy it was hard to open. :)
Most support groups can assign you a Big Sister if you like.

I also went to a TG event in a friendly place which made it much more fun. Walking back and forth I had to concentrate on details like voice and mannerisms but once there I got to relax and be me.

What part of the world are you in: maybe someone can help steer you in the right direction ?

I take an occasional foray to the mall ot other venue but really prefer the group setting of events. Its much more comfortable for me.


Cari

[Ms Victoria]

My first time out was a trip to the craft / fabric store. I had a hoot! I got a few stares, but for the most part, it was nice. I have to admit that i love heels!:) I wear them a lot at home. I decided to wear 4" spike heels that day. But i almost slipped and fell on my butt on the store's tile floor! My advice to you is to wear sensible heels and comfortable clothes. Don't dress to the 9's right off the bat. So wear a thicker heel and maybe a shoe with a rubber sole. They are less slippery and don't click as much and draw attention. Good luck and let us know how you make out.

Cheers!

[Janet Bern]

You will be amazed at how well you will look when you go to a wig shop
and select a wig that best fits you age and personality. The owner will help you immensely and you will be glad you did. It is a great investment and will be one of your best investments.
Janet

[2b.Lauren]

You sound like me just last month. I went out for my first time and really had a lot of the same inner feelings that you have discussed. I also did not have a wig and had to style my own hair a little more fem. I went out alone and to a bar that as I remembered was very CD friendly, but when I got there found out I was the only one. Might have just been that night, but I am guessing the climate changed greatly over the years since I last was there. Still I must say it was the most exciting and fun time of my life. If I could change anything about that night, one I would have done something that I enjoy more as the person I am. I am not a bar person as a male, so I wonder what made me think it would change en femme. I just wanted to be at a place that was accepting for my first time. I did not have problems there at all. They will are nice to me. I would just prefer doing things I enjoy doing and being more true to myself. As the others have said, it will be a risk, but a very worth while one in the end. It would really be nice to have others in your area that you could get together with and just enjoy an evening of fun. I would appreciate that so much right now.

Lauren

[SANDRA MICHELLE]

I've been out many times and every time I go out it is fantastic. Just go and have fun. Do dress approprietly, that will make it a little less hectic and you will blend in better. As for the wig issue I really like my wigs but you can pull it off without one also. I used to style my hair when it is really long for me and it comes off just fine. I would suggest trying to go to a meeting of your area tri Ess group or another gender group, they all accept newcomers and they all have somethingh in common with you.

[Laura Evans]

All great advice from the girls. I guarantee you will be nervous the first time mostly because of what you will be telling yourself in your mind. Shut the negative self talk off and remind yourself that you look like a woman, behave like a woman and you will be perceived as a woman. With more outings it will get easier and you will be less nervous, especially as you become aware that most people hardly pay attention to you. Don't be outragous in your clothing,act your age and you will blend in well. Good luck, it will be worth it and a a boost to your confidence.

[JoAnne Wheeler]

KELLY,
I have everything that it takes to go out. My spouse, who has come a long way this year, does not want me too.
Frustrated,
JoAnne Wheeler