Sex and crossdressing

[jennifer60]

Has anyone found they they were unable to have erections unless they are dressed in womens clothing. Any suggestions, it is very limiting in having sex and most women don't want to have sex that way. I don't want to take viagra but will, but would like find another solution. Any ideas

Jennifer60

[docrobbysherry]

But, I lot of older guys AND some of the girls here, don't enjoy sex very often at all. I'm thrilled that my dressing seems to have restored my ancient sex life! Even if it's only with a woman in the mirror!:heehee:

Women can fake it, guys can't! If you're turned on, it's not a secret! If you're not, that's no secret either! Unless u do other things your partner will enjoy! There's always other ways to enjoy sex besides intercourse.:D

Meanwhile, I believe u should enjoy what turns u on. Whether it's with a partner, or on your own! And turn ons seem to change over the years! :)

[AmandaM]

Well, I would say I prefer it dressed, but that doesn't always work for the missus, you have to give and take if the girl is not inclined to prefer it.

[Elizebeth]

Dressed is best. The wife prefer not and she is just as important.

[Sharon]

Are you feeling guilt or embarrassment at being dressed? Just a little bit can put a whammy on things.

[BuffyCD]

Sounds like a fetish! Are you literally unable to be sexually excited at all unless you use female garments?

-b.

[jerrieann]

nude sex does not get me going , now if she or he and me are in something female and in high heels then i am there , for a while ,

[KellyCD]

Doesn't apply to me. I can enjoy it just as much when I'm not dressed. I don't need to be wearing anything girly to get aroused. I just need to be around my wife, then I swear I could cut glass with it .:heehee:

[lynn2c]

kinda opposite here. I'm ok either way, a little old to cut glass, probably could put a dent in some play doh though.....My wife is the one who seems to do better when I'm dressed. Something I just have to live with I guess :D

[Sarah Martin]

No problems...male plumbing works just fine in and out of womens clothes.

Though it does stop when I wear the gorilla costume. (ha ha ha ha)

[Merinda]

But, I lot of older guys AND some of the girls here, don't enjoy sex very often at all. I'm thrilled that my dressing seems to have restored my ancient sex life! Even if it's only with a woman in the mirror!:heehee:

Women can fake it, guys can't!

I find the women in the mirror "never" fakes it :D

Interestingly in my case the woman in the mirror was originally a sexual experiment in my early 20's due to bordom with normal masturbation , being totally rejected by the opposite sex left me with having to create a new pathway to sexual enjoyment.
The "so-called" normal community would label me as a sick individual if they found out , however the woman in the mirror was "not" my preferance , it was the best I could do under the curcumstances.
It was the "so-called" normal community that denied me the right to a normal sex life with a real woman at that time so I don't take full responsibility for my behaviour.

Now I've been married for 18 years and the sexual side of it has been gone for many years , old habbits resurface don't they:heehee:

[Robyn2006]

Way back when I first began to dress in my early teens, it was just the transitioning that got me all excited... it was such a magical experience, and still is! But these days, truth be told... it's become so much more than that. These days my mind needs to wonder to the possibilities of being with a man. I know many, if not most here are not leaning in this direction. But my transitionings are becoming quite strong, tugging at my desires to be a complete woman... it seems like such a natural progression, and I feel no shame in saying this. Only hope that someday I'll have the courage to act out my desire. But to answer this post's question directly, I need to be completely in fem persona and be passionately kissing a man within my fantasies to fully take things to the next level, as it were.

I know... likely too much information. Yes? :battingeyelashes:

Robyn

[jennifer60]

I am aroused but cannot get hard enough to complete the act and climax. wndering if this is age or what and if anyone has any sugestins or solutions.

Jennifer60

[PrettyCuteGurl]

Surely there is some middle ground for both of you on this issue.

[JoAnne Wheeler]

When I was in my teens and early twentys, dressing always was and arrousal. However, as time passes, sex is no longer a key. Now the key is the joy, fulfillment, realization that I love to be dressed all the way.
JoAnne Wheeler

[Josephine 1941]

Hi Jenn, well for me as with all of us it was an exciting rush ,when I first started dressing. I was all dressed looking in the mirror and see this beautiful women looking at you, putting on Bright red Lipstick. Down went the panties and OH YEA. Now I have over come that and love the complete feel of being a women. I go out to clubs, bars, mingle and have a beautiful Girl friend that we are sisters . My problem and I am not complaning is that my GG loves me as a women she get so excited, she touchs me all over loves the feel of my ear rings, bra panties and stockings. She gushs all of that sweet liqued when I make love as a women would with oral play. Then she wants the man part of me , I have it made . All I can say is that I hope any one of you find a women as good as mine . :D:drink::c9::GD::thumbup::yahoo::awe::bovered::by e:

[Carol A]

Well in the beginning as a teenager and walking down the streets in town and nobody knowing the difference was what it was all about. Now I get married and my wife and her sister would make a regular habit out of dressing me up and the 3 of us going out and doing things a women. But the truth is it was such a turn on for the wife as she never could wait until we got home and would do what ever she enjoyed knowing I couldn't say a word.
Fast track forward 45 years now and I dress everyday and it is no longer a turn on for either of us just our way of life. :hugs:

But yes sex and CDing go hand and hand:daydreaming:

[charlie]

Hello Jenifer!
It is funny, but after dressing for 2 or 3 days, it seems hard to get an erection at all. Sex is not the motivation for my dressing. It actually seems to kill my sex drive......all the way until I see a sexy lady (besides me in the mirror). Then the interest comes back. CD seems to do weird things to my psyche. I want to be perused in stead of perusing.

[sterling12]

99% of all sexual stimulation is located.....between the ears! As a last resort, so that you can "perform," your going to have to pretend with mental images.

Yeah, I know it's not being honest! But, a "failure to perform" is going to just cause bigger problems. The best solution? Learn to separate your two worlds. let your "male side" have the lead when involved in intimacy. Your also going to have to work on that plan to make it happen. Same sort of thing to get it accomplished.....working on "imagery!"

peace and Love, Joanie

[Katrina red nails]

Since my wife doesn't want to be involved in my dressing then sex while dressed isn't an option. I don't get too aroused just by being dressed either it just makes me feel relaxed and happy when i am dressed. Hugging the wife gets me aroused though!

[StacyCD]

I have the fantasy of having sex with my SO while dressed enfemme. However, this is likely only a dream since my SO has never seen me dressed.

The important point is that if the only way you can get stiff is wearing women's clothes then wear women's clothes! In the privacy of your bedroom, your SO should accept you (warts and all) just as you need to accept her. I wish we could be less hung up over bits of fabric!

[Cheyenne Skye]

Dressed works best but sometimes my wife wants "the man she married" so I have to leave the clothes in the closet. When those times come though, if I'm not super excited, I still have to do a little fantasizing to make sure she is satisfied. I always feel quite guilty if I can not satisfy her, dressed or not. I also often fantasize that both of us are dressed a certain way (fetish related) when we are making whoopi. That often gets me in the proper state of mind.

[TGMarla]

I've never had sex while dressed without anyone but myself. I'm not sure just how it would go at this time in my life, either. Sure, I think about it from time to time, but my wife would never acquiesce to it, so it's not something that I dwell on much.

Now, there have been times in all our live that while having sex, we need to divert our attentions elsewhere to, shall we say, stay interested in the moment. Hey, sometimes sex is better than at other times. We all know it. At such times, my thoughts often turn to crossdressing, and it often enhances my...umm....enthusiasm for the task at hand.

For a long time, sex was an almost integral part of my crossdressing experience, too. I have always found women's attire very stimulating, depending on the look and style and feel. I suspect that many, if not most of us are this way to one extent or another. This has changed a bit over the years. But still, I have never experienced sex with another while dressed in women's clothing.

So if I had your problem.....they'd call it "celibacy". Perhaps you need some counselling, if you feel that you cannot have sex without being dressed. You owe it to yourself to not have that anchor hanging around your neck.

[Cary]

Being a handicapp person, I don't have a problem fighting off the ladies. They tend to go for the normal ones. I started wearing mom's clothes at an early age, and it stuck. I've only have 5 attemps at sex in my 35 years. I wonder if that still makes me a vargin? Dressing works for me on multiple levels and I'm fine with that. I've said in preveous posts that I'm not trying to pass. I just love the feeling being dressed. My doctor said my sex problem is all in my head. I didn't know I have a problem. Except for the lonelness from time to time, I think I'm happy.

[Tammy298]

.....When those times come though, if I'm not super excited, I still have to do a little fantasizing to make sure she is satisfied. I always feel quite guilty if I can not satisfy her, dressed or not. I also often fantasize that both of us are dressed a certain way (fetish related) when we are making whoopi. That often gets me in the proper state of mind.

Maybe it's my age also, but fantasizing is pretty much a necessity when I'm not dressed. Although she has never really admitted it, but my wife seems to prefer me dressed in lingerie. Also, I tend to like adding bondage to our love-making, either of us but preferably me! She usually goes along with this but she tends to like just the lingerie I wear without the ropes or cuffs.

[Karen1969DD]

My husband has no problem getting excited while dressed, in fact he performs fantastically that way.

[TxKimberly]

. . . then I swear I could cut glass with it .:heehee:

"Excuse me waiter? I'll have whatever Kelly is having please?" :D
Despite having two children, and another on the way, my sexual "prowess" has never been so impressive that I would consider bragging about it. Lucky you! lol

[VikkiGurl]

I never understood the concept of having sex with a women while dressed, it is counter to why we dress, to be a woman, to experience what it is like to be a woman.

When I am dressed Fem, I ONLY play with men or other TGs. When I am not dressed, I ONLY play with GG's.

[Sandra]

I never understood the concept of having sex with a women while dressed, it is counter to why we dress, to be a woman, to experience what it is like to be a woman.

When I am dressed Fem, I ONLY play with men or other TGs. When I am not dressed, I ONLY play with GG's.

Not all cders want sex with men when dressed, some just like to be with another woman, and if you have sex with another man and your married that that is cheating unless your SO knows and agrees with this.

[Melinda G]

Sexual stimulation is mostly mental. And the same fantasy that worked last week and the week before, may not work today. You would get bored watching the same video over and over, and the same fantasy gets boring too. And while I don't condone it, that's why people cheat. The same woman you couldn't wait to jump on years ago, is no longer any mystery, or exciting. Kinda like "been there, done that".
One of the first times I actually dressed up completely, and went out, my pantyhose felt so good, and smooth, and tight, and were rubbing me just right as I walked, that I actually came, just walking down the street. I couldn't stop it. My knees went weak, and I leaned against a building till it passed, and hoped no one saw me and came over to help. That doesn't happen anymore. I live alone, and dress everyday around the house, and while it still feels good, it's just not a big deal these days. And just like a boring video, over and over no longer works, I have to keep coming up with new fantasies, always more intense, to get excited. It's perfectly normal.

[susiej]

I don't want to take viagra but will, but would like find another solution.

Jennifer,

Don't knock the pharmaceutical solution until you've investigated it, or better, tried it. If you don't have a sound medical reason why you shouldn't use it (e.g. taking nitrates for a heart condition), ask yourself why you're excluding this option.

In this forum, we sometimes ask "what if there were a magic pill you could take ..." Well, Viagra, Cialis and the rest are close to that ideal for resolving age-related ED. They can't help you with a lack of arousal, though.

This is why I bring this up. Your general practitioner doctor will probably willingly write you a prescription for a few tablets of one of these medicines. Take one before your next opportunity to have sex, and see what happens. If magic happens, you could be back to the "cut glass" category, and you will have learned you have a physiological problem, i.e. classical ED.

If magic doesn't happen, then you will have learned that your difficulty is more psychological -- that there is something emotionally missing from your sexual experience.

That first prescription will probably cost you the better part of $100 for five tablets, and your med insurance probably won't cover it. But, you'll learn something important, and -- if magic happens, you'll have a lot more fun for $100 than you'd get from a weekend ski lift ticket :) !

Hugs,
Susie

[VikkiGurl]

I never thought when I started dressing that I would want to play with men. I just wanted to dress. But the longer I dressed, years, the more I wanted to grow my female side and being with a man became natural. Just as being guy and being with a woman is great.

I am quite clear that it is wrong to play with someone else when you are married or even involved, I am not, and don't need the lecture. I suggest you speak to a former President of the US, he needs to learn about the subject of infidelity!

[docrobbysherry]

I never understood the concept of having sex with a women while dressed, it is counter to why we dress, to be a woman, to experience what it is like to be a woman.
When I am dressed Fem, I ONLY play with men or other TGs. When I am not dressed, I ONLY play with GG's.

Just as I can't understand how someone can be attracted to a different sex, just by changing their clothes!? :eek: Sounds like you're bi, to me! In the past, I've tried to have fantasies of being the woman being with a man. It ALWAYS ends with a turnoff! It doesn't matter what outfit I have on either!:heehee:


Sexual stimulation is mostly mental. And the same fantasy that worked last week and the week before, may not work today. You would get bored watching the same video over and over, and the same fantasy gets boring too. I live alone, and dress everyday around the house, and while it still feels good, it's just not a big deal these days. And just like a boring video, over and over no longer works, I have to keep coming up with new fantasies, always more intense, to get excited. It's perfectly normal.

This is what happens! Or, at least it has for me for most of my 60+ years! :doh:

For some time now, I've been waiting for CDing to NOT be the turn on it has been for many years! Nothing lasts forever, and, as u said, our sexual turn ons r also in a constant state of flux!:sad:

As with everything in life. We need to learn to live with it!:brolleyes:


Jennifer,
In this forum, we sometimes ask "what if there were a magic pill you could take ..." Well, Viagra, Cialis and the rest are close to that ideal for resolving age-related ED. They can't help you with a lack of arousal, though.

If magic doesn't happen, then you will have learned that your difficulty is more psychological -- that there is something emotionally missing from your sexual experience.
Hugs,
Susie

Based on my experience, Susie is quite rite! The pills don't help u GET an erection. Just MAY improve one, IF u get it!:Angry3:

And I've had equal, or better results with some of those, " If it doesn't work, send back your unused pills, etc., and we'll refund your money", products.

In any case, with any helpful product, or without, I've found the key is how turned I was at the time! Which I can NEVER predict!:doh:

[VikkiGurl]

Sherry,

heelo from OC beach area. It is very simple. I can dress up like a doctor to get the idea of being a doctor,say a surgeon, but to truely feel what it is like to be a doctor (surgeon), I would have perform surgery on someone.

I felt the same as you did when I started many many years ago. It has only been in the last two years that I have expanded my experiences to what is the most intimate part of being female, playing with men.

[Sandra]

I am quite clear that it is wrong to play with someone else when you are married or even involved, I am not, and don't need the lecture. I suggest you speak to a former President of the US, he needs to learn about the subject of infidelity!


Know one was giving you a lecture just giving an opinion, as for speaking to a former president, that doesn't bother me why should it I'm British.

[JaniceP]

Jennifer, sometimes just being dressed totally, creates a mental Orgams that just cannot be described!!!

If it's getting off that worries you, don't let it!!

As we grow older, our priorities change as well as our motavations.

I have been happily married for 5 years: However, we just had our 37th anniversity!!!!---------it a joke OK?

I remember when I was in my teens, holding a Girls hand got me excited

Also got one when I started dating my wife. I hold her hand alot now, but the sexual results are not there. You know what I just feel and generate now, really no more sex-----just total Love!

So, Dress in private if you must, don't be ashamed and if in you mind you picture yourself as a Crossdresser having Sex with a male, just let it go.

Picture yourself as a FEMININE woman, even if NOT dressed, being desired by men, hand running up your nylons under you skirt and slip.

Have Fun, just change your direction.

The Best Always

JaniceP

[DeniseNJ]

I am sorta in the same boat as you Jen... when I slip on some thi hi's and heels and I will get excited. even some lipstick and mascrea will do. I enjoy pretty girls BUT I find it a problen just as you described... I feel your pain. I am 50 and the wife won't have me dressing to have sex even tho she knows it will work. I went to a strip club a few months back and had a couch dance with the Hottest sexy babe there, I was in LUST but no matter how she grinded me I couldn't get hard I was bummed!!! she was a 11 on a scale of 1 to 10. At that point I didn't feel like a man . so I know how you feel. I just bought Viagra at the wife's suggestion but every time I want to use it she is either sick or had too much to drink .. Yes I have been call many names by her and not pleasant ones

[Sissy_Michelle]

Well I agree with some of the replies. Sounds like a fetish. However if you are having issues with erections and the only way to get excited is through "dressing up", never hurts to see a Doc? That is why they get paid the big bucks is to help you. If you are not sure about your family Doctor then call around for one that you feel comfortable speaking to. Though I could be wrong. My wife likes me dressed either way. Sometimes she will lay some things out for me to wear before coming to bed. Other times she will ask me to just be me. She calls me "Maxine"... :o Due to my work I cannot go fully dressed out of the house. However that is soon to change... :)

[Paula UK]

for me i deffinately prefer sex whilst dressed, its fine as a guy but i prefer the lesbian sex thing with my wife. this is great for her too, she clearly loves it, she takes total control and paula is very much the submissive. believe me, my wife loves playing with paula!

paula x

[Mollyanne]

Hi Jen, I kinda know whats goin' thru your head!!!!! I am in my 60's(ugly age) and the wife and I haven't had "any" for 3 yrs now, her "changes" were not kind to her. I have not nor will not stop loving her, our sex life has just moved to a different place. Whenever I am partially or fully dressed I feel stimulation not because of the clothes but because I feel my feminine side is enveloping me and I like that. I know its hard to explain but my feelings and desires are totally feminine.

:love: Mollyanne

[KarenS]

Interesting thread.

My wife and I have had sex on several occasions while I've been dressed. I feel that we are more 'making love' when I'm dressed than not.

On the other hand, (drab side) my wife has complained of suspecting I take Viagra when I never have. I was suprised the first time she asked me if I was. At our age, I'm not sure if this issue is a blessing or curse. I think she is looking forward to a decrease in desire, frequency, and stamina.

[Mary L]

Years ago, my wife and I experimented several times with me wearing a pair of her panties. Didn't enhance things for either of us. I am now in my 60's. Things that could get me hard in an eyeblink no longer do much of anything. However, viagra is a true wonder drug.:hugs: My interest in sex remains high. I only use 1/4 pill and erections are the best ever. As someone said, if the interest and at least minimal blood flow are not there, viagra is not likely to help much.