paranoid?

[Salene]

So in my effert to outreach to others like me I came across a local Tri-Ess website and some of the things I read on there site totally blew me away. They recomend members create an e-mail, snail mail, credit card and phone number under your fem name. :eek: And I thought I was a paranoid person! These people make me look normal (atleast in the paranoid department. hehe) How far do you take your fem idenity? Is there really a reason to be that paranoid?

[MarciManseau]

That's the first thing I did when I went full time. Maybe they suggest it so you can transition more easily. It's creating your real identity, not one to hide behind.


Hugs, Marci :hugs:

[Salene]

That's the first thing I did when I went full time. Maybe they suggest it so you can transition more easily. It's creating your real identity, not one to hide behind.


Hugs, Marci :hugs:

it was persented in a "Things to do to protect yourself" kindof way... don't think there talking about going fulltime.

[bredalee25]

I personally wouldn't go that far. In my marriage i'm out to my wife and thats all the further i'm gonna go for now. I've got an open and honest marriage we don't keep secrets from one another. Well unless it's hiding a gift from the other for Xmas or a Bday. ttfn

[sometimes_miss]

When I joined them over ten years ago, there was a lot of pressure to 'accept myself and come out'. They wanted me to attend their social get togethers in female attire, and assume a female name. Looking back, I don't know how much of what they were doing was supporting me, or whether it was mainly done to support their desire to support the idea that dressing and acting as a female should be considered normal by the rest of the world, not really being concerned about my own concerns about the consequences of being out as a crossdresser. I didn't renew my membership there. But....it's worth a try. See how you like it. Who knows, the general attitude may have changed somewhat since then.

[Karren H]

I did all that except the crediut card way back when and I really don't see how that's paranoid or how that protects you from squat?

[Intertwined]

I did all that except the crediut card way back when and I really don't see how that's paranoid or how that protects you from squat?

Agree with you fully on that, not only does it not protect you, that could be considered a false I.D. in some states and get you busted.

Too quote something from another post I did, most people view secrets as something nasty, wrong or something you shouldn't be doing, or why else would you keep it a secret.

Thats NOT my take on keeping secrets!

[Ashlyee Paige]

I cant get a credit card in my male name lol much less my fem one :>

[Salene]

But....it's worth a try. See how you like it. Who knows, the general attitude may have changed somewhat since then.

I'm passing on this group... I think i'm too much an extravert for them. :devil:

[Kate Simmons]

I guess a lot of it depends on one's own comfort level Hon.:)

[Elizebeth]

I have not gone out in fem. But I have store card for many store that only sell girl things they want you money they don't care about your if you male.

[mklinden2010]

I don't take it as paranoid at all, but just a way of getting more comfortable with something you are doing.

You want to order stuff and have it delivered? "It goes to Mary... at this address." Nobody has to know more. You want to go out for the night and have people call you, "Mary"? Then have a card that supports your effort. Ditto phone numbers, email, etc.

It's not illegal to use assumed names so long as it's not for criminal purposes. You can get a secondary credit card in any name that you like, for anyone that you like, so long as you agree to abide by the CC companies rules. If I'm good, they're good.

Don't worry, be happy.

[gillian1968]

In Canada direct debit is very popular, and the latest take from the banks is _not_ to put your name on your debit card for security reasons (unlike credit cards that have your name embossed).

So it's no big deal for me to use my debit card in drab or dress...

-Gillian

[Sarah Martin]

Salene,

I have a complete female identity for Sarah Martin: - email, snail mail, online shopping, credit cards (UK bank).

I like your avatar. Can I put my hands down now, please?

:D
xxx
Sarah

[docrobbysherry]

But, I DO KNOW u r all out to find me, and make my life a LIVING HELL!:devil:

[Byllie]

So, let me get this straight. We're supposed to create a completely new feminine identity, one that is totally separate from our male identity. Geez, talk about fostering split personalities. Whatever happened to learning how to let our feminine and masculine sides to work together?

[Satrana]

Tri-Ess are renowned for trying to define crossdressing their way. The core belief is that crossdressers should only emulate women and not just be a man presenting his feminine side. This is why they want CDs to be a "complete woman" and take on a femme ID in the real world.

They believe that CDs should always be lady-like and practice deportment behaviors to be as passable as possible.
Apparently not to do so is an affront to GGs. They also tend to drive away gay CDs because they want to present CDs only as wholesome heterosexuals. Similarly they push the idea that CDing has no links with sexuality. Real CDs dress for transgendered/emotional reasons only never for sexual gratification.

To me it is a conservative, ideologically driven organization which I believe grossly misunderstands the nature of crossdressing and instead tries to elevate the fantasies of CDs to be nothing less than passable ladies of society.

I am sure that local groups vary tremendously in how much they adhere to these ideas, some probably ignore them altogether. But I think Tri-Ess is a dinosaur which needs to go extinct and be replaced by a more evolved animal!

[ColleenShivas]

Tri-Ess are renowned for trying to define crossdressing their way. The core belief is that crossdressers should only emulate women and not just be a man presenting his feminine side. This is why they want CDs to be a "complete woman" and take on a femme ID in the real world.




You are spot-on about the conservatism of Tri-Ess and their agenda to promote dressing as reverence for the female form. On the other hand, theirs is the most informative website that I have found to explain the variety of TG expression, and their SO site really helped my wife to accept me.

[Cari]

My comfort level is basically to treat Cari as a nickname and not an alias.

I have a user profile in windows behind a password.
I also have several e-mail addresses.
I didnt see a need for a phone, I just use my own.

I do not conduct any business as Cari, she does not get mail and holds no credit cards. I started down that road and just doubled my junk mail. Also since Cari had no credit history she didnt get the really good sales offers anyways. The other sticky moment is if you insure a package they have every right to request legal ID when it arrives and needs signed for.

In my case I have no desire to transition, and am concerned about legal issues if Cari were to start doing business and opening accounts.

As for Tri-Ess I believe they are one of the best organizations out there in the CD world and worth a try. In my case I found I didnt agree with them on many issues and am no longer a member. For some they can be very helpfull especially when dealing with SO's. The other thing to remember is that each local chapter has its own tone.

Cari

[JoAnne Wheeler]

The first thing that I did was to get JoAnne a credit card in her name. I also have credit cards with just my first two initials - " J W" - (JoAnne Wheeler) which is easier to do.
JoAnne Wheeler