What people think of CD

[suzypier]

Do you have the feeling that people think because we are CD that we are Gay. I am getting more and more CD and I am not Gay. I only love to wear high heels and women clothes because it make me feel good and I still love women. It do not mean because I am a woman inside that I am Gay. Is it the same for you ?

[Sarah...]

Nope. Not the same for me. But then I'm not you. If it works for you then that is excellent. Long may it continue.

As for me, I must be double gay!

:D:daydreaming:

I enjoy relationships with people I like whatever their stated gender preference. And depending how I am presenting I am either gay or not or lesbian or not.

Confused? Then don't think to hard about it!!

Sarah...

[TGMarla]

Like you, I adore women's fashions, and I love to wear women's clothing. I, too, am not gay at all, preferring women, and I feel no sexual attraction towards men whatsoever. The fact that society in general lumps us in with the gay/lesbian crowd is bourne of ignorance and intolerance.

[missynicole]

i agree with sarah...when dressed i admit to liking men and other girls like me.....

[Ronni Seymour]

Many people mistakenly believe that if a man wants to dress like a woman, and take on a more feminine persona, then that also must include the natural female attraction to men. They cannot understand that just wearing womens clothes does not automatically give one an attraction to men. I dress fully, go out and take on a female persona (as much in my ability) and am still very attracted to women when I do so.

[Brina Halloween]

It does seem to be connected somehow. The only thing I can think of is the drag show aspect....where do they all occur? The open minded gay/lesbian type bars. I would like to see a show sometime.

Just thinking about the post that I have seen here, i have seen several post here by people that would consider themselves gay. Anyone that wants to transition and have SRS could probably be placed in the category too ( I am sure an exception could occur somehow).

Personally, My CD activity is of the fascination, complimenting type. I don't mind being around someone that is gay/lesbian but, I have no interest in such.

Somewhere, I read that 95% of cross dressers are straight. True or not, it would be nice for the common perception to be of two distinct and different things.

Brina

[Edyta_C]

I am a Cder! But if I am gay, then I'm a lesbian giggle ! Seriously, I think it is because people tend to have small words around them and get uncomfortable with anything outside their realm of experience. It is not always small mindedness, but a small world of experience.

Here is an example. Two Americans go to Italy. They want to have lunch so the go to a restaurant on the piazza. They are surprised and upset when the service seems slow. They don't know that most of the shops close so that workers can take a casual lunch meal. So the restaurant is not slow by Italian standards, but its not Mickie D's in speed. That's a small world view, being upset because you don't understand their custom.

Hugs Edy

[Toni_Lynn]

Personally, I think that the public perception of crossdressers is largely driven by larger than life people such as drag queen RuPaul, basketball player Dennis Rodman, or Turner Prize winner Grayson Perry. Can you honestly say that you want either of the 3 to be who the public thinks you are, are what you are all about.

Public stereotypes can only be broken when we begin speaking out, and in doing so letting the public known that if they base their definition of CDers on the above, then they only see the minuscule minority of what we are all about.

Huggles

Toni-Lynn

[Angie G]

Anyone thinking all CD's are gay just go to show you that they don't think at all. It they did they would know it's not like that.:hugs:
Angie

[avril findlay]

I adore dressing as a woman and trying to create as feminine an image as I possibly can but I'm definitely not gay (not that it would bother me in the slightest if I was). I've only ever had sexual relations with GGs. I'm probably one of the most heterosexual girls you're ever likely to meet!

[Vicky_Scot]

Do you have the feeling that people think because we are CD that we are Gay. I am getting more and more CD and I am not Gay. I only love to wear high heels and women clothes because it make me feel good and I still love women. It do not mean because I am a woman inside that I am Gay. Is it the same for you ?

This confuses me. You can not get more and more cd.

You either are not a CD or you are not.

Did you mean you are dressing more and more?

When I am enfemme I fancy women and I fancy women when I am in male mode.

I do not believe in this theory that if you dress then you can fancy men but that does not make you gay/bi.......what a load of nonesense.

Xx Vicky xX

[DanaR]

I've been asked this question before and here is how I answer it:

If you think I"m gay because I'm dressed like this and will be trying to pick up guys, you are wrong; because I'm into girls. So that must mean that I am gay, right? Then I get a confused look from them, while I am smiling. Then I think that they understand.

[MarciManseau]

Some of us are straight, some are gay, and others, like me, are bi. Much the same as the general population. No one really cares.


Hugs, Marci :hugs:

[Vicky_Scot]

I've been asked this question before and here is how I answer it:

If you think I"m gay because I'm dressed like this and will be trying to pick up guys, you are wrong; because I'm into girls. So that must mean that I am gay, right? Then I get a confused look from them, while I am smiling. Then I think that they understand.

Just tell them your a lesbian trapped in a mans body..........:heehee:

[beenherelongtime]

we get into the whole question (again) when we start a thread like this. yes there are gays that wear the clothes of the opposite sex. we do not call them cd'rs. i would say that 90% of the people on this forum would virgoursly deny they were gay. the other 10% probably have at least thought of having sex with men/or women as the case may be. a lot of this is fanasty thinking. there is nothing wrong with this, if anything we should be tolerant of everyones induvialidty.

[susanCD123]

Well, like many others, I love both men and women. Married for 35 years, love my wife, but have gone both ways many times. Not confused anymore, I just know what I like! :hugs:
susan

[Vicky_Scot]

Well, like many others, I love both men and women. Married for 35 years, love my wife, but have gone both ways many times. Not confused anymore, I just know what I like! :hugs:
susan

Does the wife know you go both ways?

[charlie]

I believe Sarah has said it most succintly (if this subjet can even be closely defined). When I am dressed as a male, I'm all male and not even close to bi or gay. However, when dressed as Charlie, I'm still attaracted to women, but those dressed as women as well. It may be confusing, but it is what it is.

[Alice Torn]

I am not attracted to men, at all sexually, BUT, when dolled up, i have a strong fog, of being treated like a lady by one. It goes away, when the lady stuff, is removed.

[Sammy777]

It does seem to be connected somehow.
Personally, My CD activity is of the fascination, complimenting type. I don't mind being around someone that is gay/lesbian but, I have no interest in such.
Somewhere, I read that 95% of cross dressers are straight. True or not, it would be nice for the common perception to be of two distinct and different things. Brina

:iagree:

I'm in the Hetro camp, [Sorry, guys just don't do it for me].

I still look at / think about girls/women when dressed.
So does that make me a part time lesbian when dressed? LOL
I guess if I was out & passed & looked at girls then it would.

What was the question again? lol

[suzypier]

Just tell them your a lesbian trapped in a mans body..........:heehee:


I never thought of that one, but it got a lot of sense, and it’s very possible :)

[Diane Elizabeth]

I am a CDer whom is bisexual. I am attracted to a female if she is dressed nice. I am not attracted to males. Of course there is more to it than looks. However, I love to have sex with either gender.

[mklinden2010]

My first wife really stunned me when I brought up the crossdressing issue.

She said:

"Oh, is that all? I thought you were going to tell me you were gay or something."

Is that aaallll?

It was a big deal to me.

That I was gay?

Well, what if I was?

"Or, something?"

What does that mean? Pedophilia, dog-doer, peanut butter and jelly S&M fan?

I'm still puzzled about her response, even though it was, I suppose, what you'd call on the positive side.

One by one, I have noted people's reactions to this news over the years. The majority of the time the response is, "Yeah... So?" Or, "No kidding?" And, "Uh-huh... Ya want that I should help with that? I'm kinda busy Saturday..."

A few times it's been confusion and tears, but, you know what? Those are the people I found the least important to deal with in life. I sometimes thought they were important, but apparently really only to themselves - they really didn't want any "news" as their minds were permanently made up.

In a way, I drew them "out" - I outed them, you see, for the concrete minded types they were - and I only got in trouble if I kidded myself that I really needed them in my life. No so. Difficult people, no one needs. Just step away from the hard cases... No matter who they are. Life goes on, yours should too.

So, I'm happy to tell anyone that I land on the gay side of the gender and sexual spectrum and vote accordingly. Yes, between being the old woman in the shoe, with all those kids and baby daddies, and, being some glory hole seeking compulsive, I'll admit that my thinking and inclinations lead less to the shoe lady and towards the opposite... By about .001 degrees. Only .001 degrees... But, it's there.

So sue me.

[Kate Simmons]

How I dress has very little to do with my feelings for others.:)

[Nicki B]

Well, what if I was?

Well, it would tend to suggest any relationship with a het-woman might not last very long.. :idontknow:

[docrobbysherry]

That's what I THOT during my first 9 years of CDing in a vacuum.

My first few years were spent in self examination. Thinking I must be be gay to enjoy dressing! Finally, I concluded I was the EXCEPTION TO THE RULE!:devil:
But, that MOST OTHER CDs MUST BE GAY!:doh:

Then, a year ago, I opened my closet door, went on line, and found CD.com!:eek:

Talk about an eye opener! Jeez, was I ignorant or what????:brolleyes:

[Melanie R]

Coming off of a 15 day cruise across the Atlantic last week there were many other passengers including many gays who were convinced that if you crossdress you must be gay. I told them that I was a woman between my ears with male plumbing who crossdressed as a man frequently but was only attracted to a woman, my wife of 28 years. Some then asked why don't you just have the surgery and be a legal woman. The answer is because both my wife and I enjoy my male plumbing. People do not understand the difference between sex and gender.

[Celeste]

There will always be the insensitive individuals who will cast judgment,I like to question"is it really theirs to judge"?Of coarse not,so we can't allow their misinformed,opinions and assumptions to rent space in our heads.I've come to a conclusion that some people aren't wired to accept change or differences in others,their just stuck that way.

[Tasha McIntyre]

Like you, I adore women's fashions, and I love to wear women's clothing. I, too, am not gay at all, preferring women, and I feel no sexual attraction towards men whatsoever. The fact that society in general lumps us in with the gay/lesbian crowd is bourne of ignorance and intolerance.

Ditto 100%, although, after looking at the boy pics v girl pics on the pic and video section, I do have an admiration (in a non sexual way) for the way you girls can transform yourselves.

[emmicd]

I believe crossdressing and sexual orientation have nothing to do with each other. I crossdress and have done so for over 40 years and I am in my mid forties. From my perspective I have always loved the female form. I love everything about femininity and am in awe. Women have always made me turn my head. Two reasons, their beauty and their pretty clothes. I love women, I love the clothes they wear and I love wearing womens clothes.

Just because I love wearing womens clothes doesn't mean I am going to have a sex change operation and start dating men.

Society just doen't understand crossdressing but I believe it is becoming more common and hopefully someday more accepted.

In scientific circles most crossdressers are normal typical average heterosexual guys who love to tap their feminine side on occasion and still enjoy the company of a beautiful woman.

emmi

[sometimes_miss]

Coming off of a 15 day cruise across the Atlantic last week there were many other passengers including many gays who were convinced that if you crossdress you must be gay. I told them that I was a woman between my ears with male plumbing who crossdressed as a man frequently but was only attracted to a woman, my wife of 28 years. Some then asked why don't you just have the surgery and be a legal woman. The answer is because both my wife and I enjoy my male plumbing. People do not understand the difference between sex and gender.

Few people understand why they're attracted to another person. Sure, they can give you a reason, but often that's not really it. Even those who live other 'alternative lifestyles' don't accept us for who we are, many just assume we are gay and in denial. I understand the problem; after all, we spend so much time trying to look like an attractive, sexy woman, it's just kind of natural to assume that we are trying to attract men. Boy, am I really screwed up. But then, I already knew that.

[sherib]

I would considered myself to be lesbian. I love women! I love everything about them. Their cloths, the bodies, the way they care themselves. Everything. If I could change my life from the beginining, I would want to be born female. A SRS is not the same. Hollywood and Larry Springer do nothing but help to create the allosion that anybody that like to dress in womens clothes are gay. Does that make any since?

[JakobeMeredith]

I have to agree with some of the other ladies here that when I'm dressed, or sometimes when I'm in the "pink fog" I find that I'll look at guys. So if anything I think it might depend on how far you're willing to go. IMHO if your going to do something, go all the way.

Now don't get me wrong when I'm in boy mode I don't think of guys like that. I have to admit it doesn't take much for me to switch now a days.

[Cari]

Personally I see Sexual and Gender orientation as seperate things.
I am physically attracted to females and that doesnt change with my wardrobe. I read so many theories that I wondered if my sexual orientation would change If I dressed fully or danced with a man, it didnt.

I feel that CD's are a cross section of the population at large with all the variations represented and that all are welcome.

I have found more acceptance and support from the LGBT community than anywhere else and do identify as Transgendered but not Transexual. I think of CD as something I do but TG as what I am, and neither affects my sexual orientation.

I cant think of too many characters on TV or in the movies that portrayed my reality of crossdressing. So its no wonder people are confused.

Cari

[lauraabdl]

I never thought of that one, but it got a lot of sense, and it’s very possible :)

I have to admit i'm not gay, but the lovely quote above rings true if you think about it. We are lesbians traped in male bodys, we love woman and love being dressed up like woman?
Laura:heehee::daydreaming:

[JoAnne Wheeler]

I think that most people - women or men - think that we are gay or sick. This is because of stereotypes, bad press, and general ignorance. This is where we need to wrk as much as possible to set the record straight. Yes I know that we cover the full spectrum of transgender, but I truly believe that the overwhelming majority of us are heterosexual and love women sexually and we want to emulate everything that we can about them.
Your sister,
JoAnne Wheeler

[suzypier]

I think that most people - women or men - think that we are gay or sick. This is because of stereotypes, bad press, and general ignorance. This is where we need to wrk as much as possible to set the record straight. Yes I know that we cover the full spectrum of transgender, but I truly believe that the overwhelming majority of us are heterosexual and love women sexually and we want to emulate everything that we can about them.
Your sister,
JoAnne Wheeler


Thanks Johanne, I agree with you 100%.

[tanyalynn51]

I am a TS, but most definitely a lesbian if being attracted to women makes me so- I had a man attempt to sexually assualt me at a homeless shelter I was staying at, and I wasnt dressed or anything- I was pretty much denying who I was at the time. Nothing about the experience interests me in men.

[Carly D.]

Like you, I adore women's fashions, and I love to wear women's clothing. I, too, am not gay at all, preferring women, and I feel no sexual attraction towards men whatsoever. The fact that society in general lumps us in with the gay/lesbian crowd is bourne of ignorance and intolerance.

Marla always nails it, doesn't she?? right on the head.. perfect..

[Schatten Lupus]

It's all because the views of society thinks a man is very distorted, tainted, unhealthy, and unplesant. When the sexuality distortion gets so pathetic that men in theatre are accused of being gay, I think it starts to become very unhealthy.

[Magickman]

I don't think that men like to dress, because they care what people think.

It is more a matter of personal style and satisfaction.

We do what we do, because we enjoy doing it.

So, it doesn't really matter too much what other people think.

[StacyCD]

If you think about it part of the problem is that if a crossdresser is 'successful' then they are assumed to be a female. As a result, the public doesn't really see or count these people as crossdressers! We are our own worse enemy! In a sense we need more people who are out in public that present as well-dressed women but are clearly men. Then when the world remains spinning after interacting with these gender gifted individuals people will begin to think no big deal. If the public's only interaction with crossdressers are drag queens, Rupaul, or a linebacker in 6 inch stilettos we are clearly going to be seen as in it only for sex. This image may lead to the 'gay' label. Now, clearly there are some crossdressers who are into it for sex or are gay but I think the majority of crossdressers are not.

[Kimberly Marie Kelly]

When dressed pretty I do have thoughts of what it would be like to be seduced and have sex as a women. But since I'am not a women physically it would never happen. :battingeyelashes:

[Katrina red nails]

I love womens clothes and makeup etc but am 100% hetero. I like to visit my feminine side as often as i can albeit indoors only. My wife accepts it but at the moment cannot understand / is confused by it. I have assured her she is the only one for me and i would never look at another guy or woman for that matter. She kind of understands me liking the clothing with the nice feel of the material against skin etc but is very confused by my wish to wear makeup and nail polish. My argument that it just makes things complete doesn't wash at the moment. She is a loving wife however and would never take the pee. The same could not be said however of people at work. I work on railway and they are mostly typical macho males "look how much i can drink on a friday night". They certainly would not be sensible enough to try and understand and would put us in the "must be gay / pervert" bracket.

[joperinal]

Sometime I don´t know if I should go for the girl or for her clothes :D

[Helen 2]

Do you have the feeling that people think because we are CD that we are Gay. I am getting more and more CD and I am not Gay. I only love to wear high heels and women clothes because it make me feel good and I still love women. It do not mean because I am a woman inside that I am Gay. Is it the same for you ?

True dat! One of my nights in Embers I met a gay guy who could not believe I was really straight and heterosexual. He and the group of GG lesbians I joined (I was alone and they invited me over to join them) did not believe I was straight.

I danced with him, though -several times :o

[Kimmie]

The gay/lesbian/transgender community represents itself by the gay/lesbian/transgender alliance. At some universities, the minor of gay/lesbian/transgender studdies is offered. Considering many people are concerned with their own lives and dont really want to spend much time thinking about gay/lesbian/transgender issues. It seems only natural that the rest of the world links us transgendered/CD's with gays and lesbians.

[mklinden2010]

Well, it would tend to suggest any relationship with a het-woman might not last very long.. :idontknow:

Nicki,

You cracked me up!

Nice bit of dry humor...

I think I'm over the whole gay thing in society anyway. If people want to think that, it's water off a duck's back to me.

Who cares - and why should they?

[Jonianne]

.......People do not understand the difference between sex and gender.

So true.

[Nicki B]

Who cares - and why should they?

Well, for a woman, finding she's married to a gay guy is surely a common and perfectly legitimate worry?

But for those of us who are transgender, it's obviously no longer as simple as just hetero/homo? :strugglin


Have a look at my thread called "A thousand and one sexes".

This one (http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?t=97040), you mean...

[Jennifer Devine]

Most people have the perception that Man loves Woman and Woman loves Man so if a Man dresses like a Woman then they must love Man.
No matter how many times i tell people that i'm straight, they don't believe me because i'm so effeminate.

[lauraabdl]

How I dress has very little to do with my feelings for others.:)

I agree that the way us girls dress has no bearing on how we feel about or for others.
Laura:2c:

[Carly D.]

People are all clueless as far as cross dressing is concerned.. most think gay when cross dressing is mentioned.. I think poor guy, what you go through.. with first hand knowledge, trying to stay in the closet.. the secret..

[Samantha43]

I like everything girly........including genetic girls.

People are uninformed and have a difficult time coming to terms with why a man would like to dress as a woman. Homosexuality is an easy explanation in their minds. Let's face it. We are a very small percentage of the population and most of us are in the closet to protect ourselves from the misguided perceptions people have. Most people don't have personal experience with crossdressers and don't have anything to base their opinions on. That's not going to change anytime soon.