I have questions about why!

[Stephanie Kay]

Hi, girls,

I was wondering again what might have influenced us to start crossdressing. I am wondering if it was seeing mothers and/or sisters getting dressed or being seen in their underwear. Was it talking to them about their clothes or hearing sisters talking to mothers about clothes? Did you ever go shopping with them for their clothes? What do you think?

I had no sisters and I very seldom saw my mother getting dressed or walking around the house in her underwear. I did sneak around in her drawers and try on her underwear. So that brings up another question, does having easy access to women's clothes help us become crossdressers? Again, what do you think?

Love,
Stephanie

[avril findlay]

I'm not really sure but being brought up in a female household with dresses etc. readily available and with a supportive Mother
must have had some influence on me. That and the fact that I preferred being a girl.

[DanaR]

I just like being a girl.

[LisaMichaels]

I think it has always been within us. Why should the girls get all the pretty clothes anyway?

[Sandra Dunn]

I am not sure if it was seeing my mother as being different then my father had anything to do with it or not. I do recall asking her why she didn't have what I had and she said it was cut off when she was born. I asked her to cut mine off so I could be a girl, she pretended to trime it.

Later I discovered I had 2 personas one male and one female. I have always felt I was born this way. Seeing other women dressed in their fine dresses and all made me yern for that type of a body. I remember growing up there was a rumor that if you can kiss your elbow you would be turned into a girl, I am still trying to kiss my elbow LOL.

I was raised with all the influances of boy stuff and I did play with it all, I also played, when I could, with my sisters toys. I remember having anger issues then and it got worse as I got older. When I did finally allow myself to discover my female side, the anger issues subsided. The times I did not allow me to be me is when the anger issues flared up and got worse.

Now that I can be me more often, hopefully most of the time soon, I am more at ease and I see things so differently now. I am more accepting of people for who they are when in the past I was very critical about everything including gay issues, now I am all for LGBT issues.

HUGS Sandra

[StaceyJane]

Nobody made me want to be a crossdresser. I just always wanted to be a girl.

[Sheila]

for each individual I would believe it to be different as to what stared the desire, at the end does it really matter why u do it?

So long as you enjoy what you do, and cause the minium amount of pain to those closely involved in your life, does it really matter .... I think not just my :2c:

[Christine1953]

I'm from a family of 7. 2 girls and 5 boys. The girls are younger so they didn't influence me nor did my mother. I think it was seeing women in nylons and sexy heels that gave me the urge to want to cd. Also the silky feeling of my wifes night gowns against my legs in pantyhose. What a feeling.

Ps. Where should i write about my talking to my wife about cd and getting very up set with me.

[carolinoakland]

my sister thinks that it's a response to the fact as children my sister got less physical abuse than myself or my brother. I don't buy into that theory. I just know that i've never felt right being told what boy was ''supposed'' to be, and never being able to do it. Eh.

[Karren H]

Well you know I could care less why.. But I never remember seeing my mother getting dressed... What I do remember is her telling me that I was supposed to have been a girl... A lot... And her wanting to make me dresses for halloween... And funny when my sister was born... I started exploring my mothers closet... Coincidence?

[Stephanie Michelle]

I have 3 brothers no sisters. I did see my mom sometimes in her bra and panties. Like you Karen, I was always told my mom was hoping i would be a girl since i was only 18 minths younger than my brother. My mom always wanted a girl so I guess I am the closest thing she got. Even though I am all man physically I have always leaned toward more feminine type thinking. I have never thought there was anything wrong with how I felt. I just never shared it with anybody but my wife and one girlfriend.

[ColleenW]

These are all good replies. I'm wondering if there could be something of the "forbidden fruit" too. After all it's really only an issue when men dress in women's clothes. Women can dress in anything a man would wear and it's perfectly OK. It was only a week ago I was talking to a friend (female) and she was telling me how she would go to the Goodwill and buy mens shirts to wear but was totally shocked by men wearing any type of women's clothing

[CharlotteW]

I believe we experience a 'trigger' at some time in our lives. That 'trigger' may be very hard to pinpoint without the aid of a shrink or a hypnotist.

I remember my mom wore tights (maybe stockings) and that an early girlfriend also wore tights to school and stockings to a party. I recall that I liked the feel of the material.

Later in life I was (almost) forced to be very masculine. I did judo, boxing, I later joined the forces. mostly because my dad thought it was the "right thing to do". Despite these pressures, I was not allowed to have too much contact with girls until I left home.

I think my present situation is similar to a pressure relief valve. According to my wife, wearing the wrong underwear makes me a nicer person. I feel like a slighlty nicer person too.

[Kate Simmons]

Some of us are just naturally more flexible at an early age I guess.:)

[lauraabdl]

I really just enjoy dressing like a woman, pure and simple.
Laura:battingeyelashes:

[SusanMarie]

For me,
Women's clothes are just much more interesting...
And so are the people who wear them.

[charlie]

In my case I think the urge was just there and so I tried on the clothes and was hooked. I never stared at my Mother, sister or Aunts. I (until this last year) always hated shopping. I just saw the clothes there in the bathroom when I was around 10 and jumped into them. The feeling was great, so I have kept doing it for almost 40 years now!

[rickie121x]

... I'm wondering if there could be something of the "forbidden fruit" too. After all it's really only an issue when men dress in women's clothes. Women can dress in anything a man would wear and it's perfectly OK. It was only a week ago I was talking to a friend (female) and she was telling me how she would go to the Goodwill and buy men's shirts to wear but was totally shocked by men wearing any type of women's clothing There is a long tradition (Tens of thousands of years) of Alpha males being the most desired types - and a female who attracted anything less might have been identified as one of the "less than".

So an "instinct" is inside the female mind, stronger in some than others, which triggers a response to belittle those who cannot or would not attract an alpha male. And as a cross-dresser, in garb, I don't know about you, but I am not exactly an "alpha" type. Shock, belittlement, rejection, unidentified revulsion - I think they all come from the same deep seated basic.

Yeah, and I am titillated by the "forbidden fruit" notion too. I know that's one little bitty part of why I cross-dress.

[Ronni Seymour]

For me, as a child, I used to look at the womens lingerie section in the Sears catalog and have a strong secret desire to wear what I saw. I used to dream that one day I would. And, you know the rest of the story. I did try on my mothers and sisters clothing, occasionally, but I can't think of any one thing that caused the desire. It seems like it's always been a part of who I am.

[DanaR]

I always thought it was interesting that girls can be tom boys and it is accepted; but if boys lean towards any kind of femininity, it is looked down upon.

I've heard people say "why would you want to be a girl", like it is a bad thing.

[MelindaC]

Karren --- I love your hockey signals!!

[Julieanne]

When I was 6 or so I told my mother I wanted to be a girl. Not sure why I felt that way, but she basically told me that was nonsense.

I also remember modeling Dad and dressing up in nice clothes and a tie and pretending to go to work. It was so boring and I never did it again. BTW, I had good relationships with both my parents (now dead) and had an older brother.

I clearly have a feminine component (feminine being defined by society) and that is reinforced by my dressing. En homme I have never really cared about what I'm wearing and seldom dress up since my wife died. En femme -- well, that's a whole different closet, so to speak.

Hugs, Julie

[Melora]

For ME..
Mom gave me some PantyHose to play with..
And then a dress a Few Years Later......
....When I was Very young....
Then History! :) :)
Thanks MOM!!

[Jenniferpl]

I just like being a girl.

[Kelsy]

Nobody made me want to be a crossdresser. I just always wanted to be a girl.


I just like being a girl.


What I do remember is her telling me that I was supposed to have been a girl... A lot... ?

I never started out wanting to be a CDer! The driving force behind it all,for me, was my need to "BE" female!! all my needs have been met in life except for that one!!

Kelsy

[LisaMichaels]

Ps. Where should i write about my talking to my wife about cd and getting very up set with me.

Christine, My wife wasn't upset, she simply stated that she might have already knew. After assuring her that I wasn't gay and explaining about how it has always been within me. She accepted it. But the trips out shopping for new shoes and new dresses for both of us was the kicker.

[JamieToo]

I think that most of us, should we care to do so, would need years of therapy to unwrap the "why". I grew up with two older sisters and a younger brother. I know that at a very young age, I noticed the clothes that girls wore. I also noticed that girls were handled as if they were precious and fragile. They got soft hugs, little kisses, caresses and compliments. Boys got firm hand shakes that hurt a little boy's hand, slaps on the back, ribbing, and comments about standing up straight and "stop acting like a child". It wasn't horrible or anything like that, but I noticed and I wanted what they had.

Later, when I was a little older, I recognized that I was given thick stiff pants, cotton shirts, and boring brown leather shoes to wear; while my sisters got to wear wonderfully designed, colorful clothes made of fantastic fabrics, including nylons. I have to say, nylons were the one key garment for me, and they still are. Nylons were the one item made exclusively for girls that served no other purpose than pure fashion. They made girls look better, and I fixated on them. All of the other clothes followed. Having two older sisters, I had plenty of opportunity to indulge my desires.

[ukcd87]

I grew up with just me and my mum no father or any brothers or sisters. I just remember i wanted to dress like a girl but i didn't want to be a girl i just wanted to wear what the girls were wearing, i used to look through the clothing catalogues at the girls clothes and wish i could wear them and at school i used to wish i could wear the same uniform as the girls e.g. skirt, tights and the pretty shoes.

[ErikaLeigh]

I dont know what attracted me to dressing. My only sister was much older and moved out of the house when I was about 3. My mom was a tom boy of sorts and usually wore t-shirts and jeans and very little to no makeup. My father was present in my life although he did work away from home quite a bit so I dont see it being lack of a father figure that started my urges.

Plain and simple I was always fascinated with soft pretty clothes and makeup. I remember watching girlfriends and other women put on makeup and starting a conversation with them just so I could watch them do their makeup. Coming up with clothes was really hard to do being that my mom was only 5'3" and didnt have anything worth wanting to try on anyway. But I managed a few articles and some nail polish over my teenage years. It wasnt until I moved out on my own that I really started to get into dressing more and only a few years ago did I dress fully with makeup and all and go out for the first time.

[JoAnne Wheeler]

I agree with Karen Hutton - does it really matter ? Like the question of which came first, the chicken or the egg, it is a question without an answer.

In our world, we say, was it nature or nurture ? I think it is a little of both, but I have special reason to belive that it more nature than nurture. Because I have two brothers - one is a crossdresser (he doesn't know that I know) and the other is a transsexual. I'm a crossdresser and proud of it.
What are the odds that of three male children, one has become a woman and the other two are crossdressers ?

Nurture also played a role because I grew up in a female dominated world.

Why did I long to be a girl ? Was Nurture easier because of Nature ? I don't know and I really don't care anymore. I love being a crossdresser with a loving accepting spouse. She gets to have both a macho male and a sister to talk girl things with.

Love,
JoAnne Wheeler

[Stephanie Kay]

Hi, girls,

Don't get me wrong. I know that "why" doesn't count or make any difference any more for me either. I was just wondering IF having role models and easy access to women's clothes makes any difference in starting to crossdress!!

Again it seems that there are just as many different reasons to start crossdressing as there are crossdressers!!!

Thanks for all the great replies. You all are so wonderfully thoughtful!!

Love,
Stephanie

[JenniferR771]

Good question Stephanie,
I don't know why. I had two older brothers. Loved the girdle ads in Sears Catalog. Also I remember that the first girl I had a crush on when I was about 9 years old --was the only girl in my class that had short hair. Do i like masculine women--hmmm--maybe--my wife is not masculine in apperance--but perhaps masculine in attitude. I was on the computer and she started the snowblower and cleaned off the driveway--again. As a kid, small, skinny, and shy--still that way. Wife dominates--but not happy about my "hobby".

[Angie G]

The easy access may have helped I'm an only child so I had to look harder for thing to wear but I mad out OK. I was always on my own when it come to dressing.:hugs:
Angie

[Laura_Stephens]

I have been asking myself, "Why?" for the majority of my life. I tend to be somewhat analytical and have always wished that I could pinpoint why I am who I am. I have some theories, but at the end of the day, I just don't know.

[nylonlove]

I was and am very close to my mother. I remember allways telling my mother how nice she looked when going out. Seeing my mothers skirts, dresses, nylons, shoes etc. when i was very young did something to me. As a small boy i tried on my mothers stockings and from then on my love for CD started. So i was influenced by my mother and having easy access to her clothes

[Jonianne]

Although I had both a good mom and dad, since a small child, I always identified with my mom and grandmother.

At age 7 my first trigger was reading the story in Huckleberry Finn about Tom Sawyers adventure when he dressed as a girl. I immeadiatly said in my heart "I want to do that!".

[immike]

I think that most of us, should we care to do so, would need years of therapy to unwrap the "why". I grew up with two older sisters and a younger brother. I know that at a very young age, I noticed the clothes that girls wore. I also noticed that girls were handled as if they were precious and fragile. They got soft hugs, little kisses, caresses and compliments. Boys got firm hand shakes that hurt a little boy's hand, slaps on the back, ribbing, and comments about standing up straight and "stop acting like a child". It wasn't horrible or anything like that, but I noticed and I wanted what they had.

Later, when I was a little older, I recognized that I was given thick stiff pants, cotton shirts, and boring brown leather shoes to wear; while my sisters got to wear wonderfully designed, colorful clothes made of fantastic fabrics, including nylons. I have to say, nylons were the one key garment for me, and they still are. Nylons were the one item made exclusively for girls that served no other purpose than pure fashion. They made girls look better, and I fixated on them. All of the other clothes followed. Having two older sisters, I had plenty of opportunity to indulge my desires.
I indulged in my fantasy,as I began secretly dressing in mothers clothes,except frilly
undies&pantyhose,which I ordered secretly out of mothers womens catalogs.I still enjoyed wearing my private stash of pantyhose&sneaking into mothers closet&dressing
in her short mini skirts&white silky blouses,which still had the soft smell of perfume in
them,so I had to jump in the shower after I undressed out of her outfits,to squash the
smell of perfume,and I greatly enjoyed learning to walk in high heels

[Carly D.]

I really don't have a clue why I started to dress this way.. just saw my moms shoes there and thought they should be good to wear.. then pantyhose... then..... and then....

[Veronica Lacey]

Easy access at around age 5 and beyond probably was the genesis of the enjoyment of my dressing. My family (1 older bro and parents) lived in a small bungalow with next to no storage or closet space. My father's clothes filled the closet in the main bedroom so my mother's dresses wound up hanging in the closet in my shared bedroom. My bed was located directly in front of the closet (with no door) so I could easily reach in and touch anything hanging there. There was one rayon dress and a long satiny gown in particular that always drew my attention. When alone I could crawl up inside of them while reading a comic book by flashlight. The feel of the fabrics felt very nice, of course, and I felt quite safe.

When we moved to a larger home and I was given my own room I began to "borrow" a few items of my mother's: a couple of panties, panty hose, a bra. I would wear them at night and feel very comfortable. Around 16/17 I braved a bus trip to the mall to a lingerie shop and the next phase began. I began to collect lingerie and then worked my way up to a skirt and blouse. I finally chanced a set of heels in my mid-20’s and found that I was a natural in them (some athleticism helped I guess.) I only have 3 pairs but enjoy them all. Mind you I have only one pair of male dress shoes.

So easy access is the main reason, perhaps, but I also feel that I simply enjoy the options available to women than what a man gets to wear. All those colours and fabrics are quite enticing and they just feel more comfortable to wear, even somewhat constrictive “every day” garments such as bras, girdles and heels. I suppose that with all the sports I participated in I found myself "dressing up" in all kinds of uniforms and the like. In retrospect I much prefer dressing up in female attire. I have spent far more time in dresses and lingerie than I ever have/will in a suit or even male dress shoes. Go figure, hmm? :)

[Maria2222]

I don't spend much time thinking about it because you'll never know the true answer. On the other hand, I firmly believe that you're born a CD and it is an intimate part of you that you can never deny. So, why fight it? Accept it and start having fun.
:)

[NikkiBeth]

It was not anyones influence or easy access to clothes for me. I just wanted to be a girl, simple, and since I wanted to be a girl, I wore my mother's clothes.
Nikki