Coming out at Christmas

[sparro]

I mean, Christmas is a few days away, and given that it's such a big thing maybe that's not the best time to do it.

I've never been very good at coming out. When I got my first gf (long before I bound and started having my friends refer to me as Keith) I never said to one person "I want you to know that I'm gay." People just saw us and understood.

Christmas just really puts things into focus. My extended family doesn't know. Part of me thinks they won't take me seriously because I'm so young (22). Saying "I'm gay." is one thing, but saying "Hey, I'm a different GENDER then you thought, and my name is no longer 'Ladyname' but 'Dudename'." feels like another thing entirely.

Maybe I'm over thinking it. Maybe I'm just being a pussy about it (or scrotum, depending on whether you listen to Dan Savage). I know it's important to do, and I know that it's silly that I don't do it. I can imagine myself doing it.. but when the time comes I just clench up.

Half of my family doesn't even know I have a girlfriend. I don't know how okay they all are with gay, and I just don't know how to deal with this.

Does anyone have any advice?

[halfman_halfamazing]

wish i could help but thats the same exact place i am.
minus 3 years and the fact that family knows i have a girlfriend.
my mom knew but i think she thinks she disappeared since she never comes down anymore.
truth is she moved here and i'm playing her off as my new bff

[_Alex_]

Not coming out doesn't make you a wimp... people take different amounts of time to come out, and you should only do it if you are ready to tell them... Sometimes being ready isnt enough, and it can take time to come out. Maybe coming out to one or two at a time might help?

I wouldn't suggest Christmas day itself, personally. Because it might get blown out of proportion, depending on what the day means to someone. Like Parents who feel Christmas should be a family day, may see it as an interuption of that. At the same time, to others it can just be another day, and maybe it's fine to come out on that day. You know them, I don't so I can't really say. Though bare in mind, it may be harder to leave for a bit, if it doesn't go perfectly.

Come out, only when you are ready.

Not sure if this helped at all, but good luck in whatever you decide.

[Poltergeist]

I would wait until after Christmas... if someone reacts in a negative way, you're not as likely to get support from others, who might think "why did he have to say it now and ruin Christmas?".

[sparro]

I was never really planning to come out on christmas. Only that the day itself was making me think about family. I cringe when I'm called by my female name. When I'm called "granddaughter" "neice" or the like..

A bit of background. For almost 3 years I've been "out" to some of the friends who knew me when I was still female. Also, though, I have a bunch of new friends who only know me as Keith... and have no idea I'm trans or anything.

... which makes it kind of awkward that they can't meet my parents, or any of my family.

I've thought about waiting. Only coming out when you're ready. Which makes sense, but at the same time, resigning to let people call me "Natasha" and introduce me to people as a female and by that name... it's not then that I'm not taking any steps forward, but that I'm taking two steps back every time.

Coming out as a gay or lesbian is different. While someone's hetero or homosexuality IS part of their personality, unless you see them with their partner its invisible (unless of course you want to display it by what you wear or how you act). Changing genders is all about changing your visible self to match your invisible self.

So I'm not comfortable coming out, but I'm not comfortable staying in the closet. If I just tell myself to keep waiting until I'm comfortable I'm afraid I'll just end up wasting my life away.

I'm 22. I want to start living, and I don't believe I can do that as I am right now.

[Wren]

Even superman couldn't keep his two identities a secret for long.

I don't think you want to be a closet case for much longer.. think of how critical you are with people like eddie.. really