Anyone you regret telling ?

[jina]

So far, only two people (besides friends on this forum) know about jina. I have given my sister some information a couple of times that could lead to telling her,.. but i know once done it can't be taken back (and I have kids of my own, and her kids as well that I would prefer didn't ever know).

She had a very good friend growing up (boy) who later in life came out gay. She told him that because she was southern baptist that she couldn't condone it. They haven't really been friends since.

On the other hand she seems very understanding at times. Sometimes I would like for her to know because there is information in my story that would enlighten her to certain other workings of our dysfunctional family's evolution (and how we were all affected in the process).

My question is: Are there any people you wish you had never told in retrospect ? thanks in advance

[Alice Torn]

Dysfunctiomal family? What's that?! Yes, very much so in my case, too. Maybe that is why all my brothers, sister are old, amd single. I wish i had not told one gossip woman in church. Her son is bi, and i promised i wouldn't tell, if she wouldn't tell about mt cd ing. I showed her a bunch of pics. Well, it wasn't too much longer, when one sermonette addressed cding. I finally got her to admit she told someone that I cd. I don' care tell my brothers or sister, or elderly dad, though they are 2000 miles east.But, a small part of me thinks about hinting to my sister, who is lifelong single, 60, and has speech impediment.

[Samantha Kelsey]

Absolutly not. I don't regret telling anyone. You must also bear in mind that once you tell the first person then it's no longer a secret. Most humans are not able to 'not tell'.
Many of the people I told said they already knew.
Merry christmas xxxxxx

[Lanore]

I don't believe I ever had to tell anyone about myself. Seems everyone just knew I was different. Of coarse there were a lot of questions, usually from those I would meet for the first time. I have always believed, it's not the one you tell you have to worry about. It's the one they tell. The story seems to change as it's told. The only real problem I didn't know how to handle at the time, was when my breasts really started growing. I don't know why I tried to hide them, since that was one thing I always wanted. I showed them to, who I thought was my friend and they told someone and they told someone and all of a sudden I was a freak show. It made me feel like something at a carnival. That was over 20 years ago. I kept believing in who I was and found that not everyone is going to understand me and that's ok.

Lanore

[Jonianne]

No, I can't say I regret telling anyone. Not having to live a life holding in deep dark secrets really makes the saying "the truth will set you free" come to life. I do believe in trying to keep the prinicipal of only telling those who have a "need to know" however, as sharing the truth with some people could be TMI.

[immike]

No, I can't say I regret telling anyone. Not having to live a life holding in deep dark secrets really makes the saying "the truth will set you free" come to life. I do believe in trying to keep the prinicipal of only telling those who have a "need to know" however, as sharing the truth with some people could be TMI.
I would be in serious trouble if family found out.i spent years dressing in mothers clothes
so I'd get in big trouble

[Angie G]

The only one that knows Angie is my wife A I have no regret what so ever in telling her she's been great about it And I dress 5 day a week 7 if you count undressing.:hugs:
Angie

[Babette]

I have no regrets with whom I have told so far. Fortunately, everybody was very OK with it. On the other hand, I am still very cautious about telling others.

Babette

[Nadia-Maria]

I have no regrets with whom I have told so far. (...)
On the other hand, I am still very cautious about telling others.


So have I and so I am.

Only two people know : SO and her daughter.
It would have no interest and no meaning telling others.

[barbie lanai]

I told my dad and step mom. Turned out he just had to mention it to some old family friends and to my cousin. All of whom I really didn't think needed to know about Barbie. Over all it worked out OK with them knowing. But as my dad's health declined and he started having dementia, he would introduce me in drab as his daughter. Naturally that happened with people in the room I had no wish of telling either.

Also told my mother in law. Not a good idea either. But at least she kept it to herself from what I can tell. But once its out of the bag, hard to tell who may know.

[Karren H]

Yes!!!!!!

[JoAnne Wheeler]

Not yet, but from now on, I am no longer afraid to be open and honest.
JoAnne Wheeler

[Kelsy]

I don't regret telling my wife because I am living freer than I ever have but she drops some heavy hints to people at times. We have discussed the fact , that if I am outed there could be difficulties but she is undaunted and loves me like I am. no matter what It won't ruin our relationship she says. It is true that once you tell anyone it is no longer a secret and you no longer control where it goes from there!

Kelsy

[avril findlay]

Absolutely not. Being able to be myself with family and friends and being accepted by them as myself, not having to pretend to be some "man" who doesn't really exist is such a wonderful feeling.

[ReginaS]

About 13 years ago when I was much more closeted my greatest fear in life was my father knowing (he still does not know but I am no loger petrified by the idea of him knowing).
I made a horrible mistake of getting married to a woman I was dating (we were in Reno on Valentine's Day and it seemed like a good idea at the time). She knew and wanted me to stay closeted and hidden and generally shamed me for who I am. The worst part: When we split and divorced after less than 6 months she asked for money not due to her and when I refused she threatened to tell my father. I caved; she got the money.
I regret telling her, dating her, marrying her.

[Crissy Kay]

Sounds like more good reasons to stay in the closet!!!

[Magickman]

If you tell a secret, then it is not a secret any more.

Seriously, though, it is shame-based psychology that makes people vulnerable to secrets.

If you are not ashamed of who you are, then the truth holds no perils.

[trannie T]

I am not ashamed to be a crossdresser. I do not believe there is anything wrong in being a crossdresser. I am out to a few people, my only regret is that I am not out to more.

[2b.Lauren]

I have shared Lauren with one person only in my life. She is a good friend of mine that lives in Australia. I just for whatever reason felt very comfortable being able to open up to her and sharing that side of me. It was really easier talking to her about my dressing than my own wife. My wife has moments where she can be cruel. She can make off the cuff comments about things or people at the drop of a hat. She might not mean any harm, and she is not really a bad person, but I am not sure I could handle anymore rejection from her right now. So I agree with others, it is necessary to be very careful with whom we share this secret about our lives with. I agree there would be a great deal of freedom in sharing, but only when you are ready and you have a great level of trust with that person.

[Jocelyn Quivers]

So far I've had no regrets from the 3 people I've told. Which is why I keep the list of who I come out the closet to very small, and only on an absolute need to know basis.

[PrettyCuteGurl]

No regrets.

[Laura_Stephens]

I regret telling my wife.

[KandisTX]

While there have been people that have "distanced" themselves from me after I came out to them, I do not regret ever telling anyone. Those that stuck around are true friends, those that disappeared never were to begin with. The way I see it is that if they cannot accept the whole package that is me, then they aren't worth my time. ;)

Kandis:love::rose2:

[FlygrlChristy]

I need to put the "fun", back in dysfunctional in my family. I didn't tell my wife, she found out, but with the help of a good therapist that specializes in transgender issues, she has become much more accepting of my need to do this. My mother and father know, but are not the kind I can ever talk to about any of this, and only bring it up when they wan't to be vicious. Found out that my wife told my in-laws when she first discovered that I was doing this, so they know, and I'm not sure how I'm going to feel about them knowing when they come to visit this week. Although, I was told they knew when they visited two previous times, now that I know that they know that thought terrifies me, of course they have they're own issues too, so I kind of doubt anything will be said. I have had to reconcile the fact that it might be brought up now, and I'll just have to explain it to them the best way I can, and hope for the best, in the end the only thing that should really matter is that I'm a good and loving husband to their daughter, and a good father to my children, end of story.:hugs:

Christy

[trisha11]

Girls,
I regret not telling my wife before we got married, I feel that if I would have told her that maybe she would have been more opened to it ........ wait smack myself. She would have reacted the same way as she did when I told her when we were married. She did not understand, chose not to understand and let it become a wedge in our marriage. I wish she would have never found out, she has used it against me in getting custody of my child, has tried to get it put in the divorce papers, has told my in-laws, all in all telling her was a very very bad idea...... a good friend of mine has always told me to deny deny deny......

I do not regret telling that same friend about Trisha, she has been so wonderful and supportive, she even directed me to this site where I have had nothing but positive feedback, and positive experiences.....
Thank you all
trisha

[MJ]

no regrets

[Cari]

Only one stylist who trimmed a wig for me; because we ran into each other at a club. While she didnt out me in front of my friends all hers were staring.

She was reccomended by someone who was way more open than I am, and she did a great job. I just wish I would have stayed on my own path that time. My current stylist is much more discreet.

Cari

[Fionax]

Is n't there something very odd about all this? The urge to 'tell' must firstly be driven by a sense of guilt, otherwise why bother about it at all, there must be hundreds of activites that people do that they don't see any need to tell anybody else about?

Secondly the very fact of wanting to reveal a secret either to one's SO, or relative, or co-worker shows that there is a deep desire within onself to share that secret, so why be surprised when that other person has exactly the same feeling? People and dare I say it, especially GGs, gossip ~ it's a way of life and with the best will in the world, at some stage a comment is made, perhaps years later, that spreads the word, never to be undone.

Why should a GG be interested in the inner motivation of a CDer? There are endless threads here and elsewhere as to why we do it, and if we don't know what can we expect of someone who is n't interested for a second ?

Least said soonest mended .

Fi

[Lisa Golightly]

Like Edith Piaf I don't regret anything... Those that tried to cause harm I binned, those who were happy are still around me.

[Jenniferpl]

so far no regrets.

[deja true]

So far, no regrets...

I've told 3 friends. Two young women are people I love and trust and who love and trust me. One of their husbands, a friend of several decades, admitted to me that he was one of us, too!

But any others on my "to do list"? Nah! Not for the present! Not even my gf, who is a great friend, but an inveterate gossip, especially with a few glasses of pinot grigio in her. LOL!

If I didn't live in a tiny, self-righteous, xtian community, I'd prolly just be visibly out in the world, but that ain't gonna happen any time soon. I'm certainly not gonna mess up in my own small territory, but travel sets me free sometimes and I can live with that for now.

:)

[CDPAUL]

regret telling my sister after being caught she hasn't spoke to me in over 23 years my wife found out several years ago but hasn't talked about it till earlier this year so far no regret there