Feelings

[Laurie Ann]

I was wondering if any of you out there have some of the same feelings I have been having. When I am dressed in my male clothes I have totally straight feeling when it comes to looking at other women. However, lately when I have been dressed as a women my mind tends to wander to thoughts of what it would be like to be with a man. I am conflicted about these feelings. I love my wife very much and find her very desirable (she does not know of my dressing) but how do I find a common ground about these thoughts. I am looking for any thoughts that any one has on this subject.

Please help :confused:

[Priscilla1018]

Hi Laurie Ann,

I have to say I have been curious but,I am married to a wonderful lady who is very supportive and so nothing will come of my curiosity.Have you considered that you may be bi or just bi-curious?I wish I could be of more help and I know of no test to find out.Hopefully,our sisters will have advice.

[Olivia]

I have dreamed of being a woman desired by a man almost since I started dressing up-a loooong time ago. I fantasized about being with a man for years before the occasion arose (oh, that's punny! I'm sorry, I can't help it!). I was more than ready to satisfy my curiousity about it then. I found that I really enjoyed that role and would love to experience it more. I really don't put much store in labels any more but I know that I'm truly bisexual. Later girls, Olivia.

[ronni]

Do you care about my feelings?
I don't know, but here's how I feel:
As a male, I'm constantly attracted to females.
When I dress up or even think about dressing,
I admire girls for a different reason. I take beauty tips from them.
Other guys tend to get ignored by me (unless they're wearing women's clothing, and then I do pay attention)

[GypsyKaren]

I can tell you that I know how you feel because I've been there. I can also tell you that you are about to travel a very slippery road. There is no easy way to go around this. Perhaps Priscilla is right and that you're bi-sexual in some way. While there is nothing wrong with that, don't expect your wife to understand if she found out. You say that she doesn't know about your dressing. How many secrets do you think you can juggle at the same time? Are you considering telling her all of this?

I told my wife everything, and I mean everything. While she has been very understanding about my dressing and being tg, I can't say she's comfortable with the part about me thinking about having sex with men. It still remains a very thorny subject for the two of us. In part she's afraid I would find a man and leave her, which I would never do because I love her to much. She still has nagging worries about it though.

I won't even try to tell you what to do. While I'm all for being open with your wife, which despite it all has worked out well for us so far, maybe sometimes you just gotta suffer in silence, if you know what I mean. If you're looking for a common ground in order let her in on this, don't expect her to understand.

I do, however, see nothing wrong in telling her about your dressing. She may be more understanding about this than you realize. She just might suprise you.
GypsyKaren

[Laurie Ann]

Thanks for the thoughts like Priscilla I am married to a fantastic and would never do anything to harm that. Its just that the feelings of wondering what it would be like to be with a man only comes through when I am dressed either in full garb which does not happen too often or when I am sleeping in my babydolls or chemise. This happens every night as my wife and I are currently in two different states due to a job change.
With these thoughts I have bulges in places girls are not supposed to.

[kathy gg]

Laurie Ann you have been given some good advice. I am going to come at this from the wife perspective. First off, you need to figuure out if being faithful is important to you. Some men within this community sometimes look as dating or being intimate with a man not cheating and this not being a gay or bi-sexual act. I dont' even want to step on that sticky territory, but alot of people 'explain' all this away and never think of this as cheating. There are also many people in this commuity with open marriages and polyamorous veiws on relationships. All of that is great *as long as both parties are on the same page*. And honey right now you and your wife are not even in the same part of the library.

I dont' want to sound condecending or anything like that, but my feeligns are this: Instead of directing all this attention in a sexual way why dont' you start directing your attention on working on a game plan to come out to your wife. This may take a few months or weeks, but it may be worth the effort. Yes alot of women are not going to want to participate or see it and it may take a while to get to some agreements that you and she can live with, but dont' you think she deserves that attention...your attention? You can start by getting some informative books on the subject like My husband wears my clothes by dr. peggy ruud, or my husband betty by helen boyd. Read those books instead of fatasizing. Go online and google the words 'support' and crossdressing and spouse, you will be amazed at what you will come up with. Ask us gg's on here if they know of sites and various gg friendly spaces. There are letters all over the internet saying 'how to come out to a wife'. All it takes is some detective work and some re-directing of all this wasted energy to something that will benefit you both.

Or do you want this crossdressing to stay in this sexulized and private and secreative and depetive way? if you enjoy that and enjoy keeping a part of yourself hidden than please disregard my post. I say this becuase instead of asking for help in coming out to your wife you are asking about guys and that makes me wonder how much you are committed to loving your wife.

Obviously we dont' know all the details about your relationship but really is it any wonder why why men come out to their wives that so many ask the 'gay' question.

I personally think there is nothng wrong with being bi-sexual or being homosexual. I have had plenty of friends who identify as such.

If you really are curious wht it would be like to be with a guy and you still have no intention of telling please go order a sex toy so you can see if you are up for all that entails. Heck, maybe you can even get your wife to consider using a certain female device to deliver such a package to you. There are ways to make this fantasy come true that do not involve cheating. WHy dont' you look into those first.

And last but not least would you be happy if your wife was fantacizing about other women? Would that be totally okay and not cause you any worries at all.?

You cant' change who you are if you are indeed bi-curious, or even bi-sexual but consider that fantasy may be the best place to play our your desires rather than involve other people if you value your health and your marriage. These 'feelings' then are best left in the vacuum of your mind.

most sincerely
kathy in canada





I was wondering if any of you out there have some of the same feelings I have been having. When I am dressed in my male clothes I have totally straight feeling when it comes to looking at other women. However, lately when I have been dressed as a women my mind tends to wander to thoughts of what it would be like to be with a man. I am conflicted about these feelings. I love my wife very much and find her very desirable (she does not know of my dressing) but how do I find a common ground about these thoughts. I am looking for any thoughts that any one has on this subject.

Please help :confused:

[Donna Delite]

Many of us have he same feelings, don't over analize it, just go where your journey takes you.

[Raina]

Laurie,

I am no expert but I will tell you that I feel the same thoughts you do when I am dressed. The only explanation I possibly relate to is that being dressed as a woman, or wanting to be a woman, would have natural tendancies to want to be with a man. I guess in other words the part of you or me that wants to be a woman also wants to be with a man. Maybe that makes it bi-sexual but maybe it also makes it a natural course of action. I don't know if that makes sense or not but I hope it helps.

Raina

[JoannaDees]

I agree with Kathy_GG. If you are married, you remain faithful. Or you reveal and have an "open" relationship as some have described on this forum.

Other than that, there is no right or wrong in your inclinations or feelings.

[kathy gg]

Hi Angle,

I just wanted to comment that there are LOADS of straight non-crossdressing couples who do this. There are several videso out there in a series called 'bend over boyfriend'. If she is lucky enough in most major cities with very cool sex toy stores there is the oft chance she and her wife could even find a work shop on this subject. You woudl be amazed at the most unlikely people you find attending these things. Grandmas and grandpas oh my!

Also if anyone really wants more info on this subject there is an awesome website out there called www.pucker-up.com with scads of info on this subject.

There are so many wonderful ways for a man and his wife to experiment and explore each other, why on earth would any person want to risk a healthy happy diesase free marriage just so you can expereince something you can do with the one you love?

kathy in canada



I think I agree with Kathy. If you are interested in being penetrated when dressed I would go down the route of sex toys first. If you were be able to do that with you wife being involved that would be fantastic, but I do appreciate that it's a pretty remote chance considering she doesn't even know about your cross dressing yet. Anyway, good luck and here's hoping......

Angel

[Sweet Jeanette]

Ill make no bones about it!---I enjoy sex with my wife as a man, and I enjoy sex with my wife when Im dressed as a woman. She is very accepting of me. ---Heres the kicker;---I have had sex with a man, as a man, and I have had sex with a man, dressed as a woman!---I very much more, enjoy having sex with a man when Im dressed as a woman!---I have no idea why, ---it just is more INTENSE!-----And, yes, needless to say; I am BiSexual, and I love it!!!------To experience BOTH worlds, is wonderful! :p ----(Just the facts, and my opinion)!--------My wife can stimulate my prostate gland, just by looking at me a certain way, while I lay in bed, in front of her!!! :D ---I feel it happening!!! :p

[Gina Lima]

I feel the same Raina feels. I had those same thoughts. My best friend told me that I needed to try it since it was a fantasy of mine. I was very scared. She said I would love. So me and her went out together clubing and I met a man. I was totally dressed up and I looked awesome. I started kissing him on the dance floor and ended up going home with him. My best friend was right. I loved it.

[veronica]

for me it has always only been women :)

[Tasha Norval]

Wow Laurie, you've had that feeling too? I don't know about sex, but I've started feeling very curious about what it would feel like to be held and kissed by a man--even when I'm en drab.

I consider myself straight and I totally think most men are swine anyway...but I have to admit...I did not expect anything like this. I don't know what to do. :confused:

[RachelDenise]

I think kathy gg has given the best advice. You need to get your own relationship sorted out before you decide what you want to do with your dressing. If it is a fantasy and you leave it at that, then it is no problem. If your wife is willing to take on a masculine role in sex then that may solve some of the curiosity. If not, then the question becomes "How important is this to me?" Only you can decide what will happen. We all have been there in some fashion. Good luck and I hope you find what you want!

[Maria Louise]

I was wondering if any of you out there have some of the same feelings I have been having. When I am dressed in my male clothes I have totally straight feeling when it comes to looking at other women. However, lately when I have been dressed as a women my mind tends to wander to thoughts of what it would be like to be with a man. I am conflicted about these feelings. I love my wife very much and find her very desirable (she does not know of my dressing) but how do I find a common ground about these thoughts. I am looking for any thoughts that any one has on this subject.

Please help :confused:

Hi, Laurie Ann!

I've been going through the same self-questioning lately. All I can say to you is this: Try it, honey! How else will you know whether you enjoy it or hate it? You only need to do it once, anonymously if neccessary.

So take the plunge, girl. If you hate it, all well and good-don't do it again. If you like it...well you can figure that out.

Hugs
Maria Louise
xXx

[Laurie Ann]

The views have certainly been varied on this subject. This site is better than therapy and certainly more cost effective. I thank all you wonderful women for your thoughts