Passing one more time

[Kelsy]

Passing has received alot of discussion in this forum but I have been taking a look at passing from a different angle. I've been doing a lot of reading lately and it has set me on yet more introspection.

Memories of my life have been coming to mind of all the different ways that I have tried, sometimes unconsciously, to remedy the disparity between who I am physically and who I am in my emotional and psychological being. The thing I have been pondering lately is the question of passing and this is the crux of it -

I have always been able to pass physically as a male (easy becos I am one:doh:) but I have never been able to pass well as male mentally and emotionally. I have played a male role but I have never been accepted, as a much as I have tried, by other men as one of them. I was different, the role wasn't natural.

I know many here have fit well in the male world, I never did! Since accepting my self as feminine and transgendered I have given up trying to fit in that male world! Does any of this make sense? Any thoughts?


:daydreaming:Kelsy

[_Alex_]

I'm physically female, so it's slightly different, but I hope you don't mind me contributing.

Some of my friends have pointed out they don't feel I could pass as female anymore. I consider my behaviour and the way I carry myself as part of my personality, and it's explicitly quite masculine. There's one of two things I get 'girly' about but it's often more in a camp why, more likened to gay men, then GGs.

Even in groups of female friends, where I'm accepted you can tell they generally role me differently. I tend to get the same role as the other male friends that they have, maybe with a little flexibility, because we share a bit more then they may do with my male friends (such as 'girl problems').

Even my highschool friends, from before I was out, didnt see me as a girl.

I assume that like you, emotionally, I can't pass in that way.

I think people, although they do judge from appearance, once they get to know you, judge from who you are too. So you can look one thing as much as you want, but still not pull it off, as it's only one aspect of you. If that makes sense?

[Kelsy]

I think people, although they do judge from appearance, once they get to know you, judge from who you are too. So you can look one thing as much as you want, but still not pull it off, as it's only one aspect of you. If that makes sense?


In a nutshell!! Thanks Alex
:hugs: Kelsy

[Karren H]

Lately I have a hard time passing period... as either gender.... no matter what I wear....

[shannonsilk]

Too true. I don't think I've ever fit in as a male. Not physically or mentally. I'm not sure where I stand as a female . Still working on that. I think I'm comfortable being somewhere in the middle.

[charlie]

Hello Kelsey!
I understand what you and Alex are saying completely. It seems both of you were in the wrong bodies from the beginning. I think that I fit more with most the CD's here in that I am predominately male (always have been) and want to be female some of the time. It is the changing of my persona to female where I have problems. I still look like a man in a dress, and then I get all the same societal problems that you have received all of your life. I hope now that you have transgendered, that your problems have now ended. Your picture shows a pretty lady smiling at me. From your post it seems that it has been a long road for that smile to finally appear.

[JoAnne Wheeler]

If we truly come to accept who we are - and who we want to be - and realize that we have to work with body and frame and face that we were born with, then just do the best you can and live with it. If you study real GGs, you will see that they also come in all sizes, heights and weights and a whole lot were not blessed with a fashion models frame or body or face.

In fact, the majority of our sisters on this website look a whole lot more feminine that 75% of the real GGs out there.

Your sister,

JoAnne Wheeler

[Kate Simmons]

Sure it makes sense Hon and I am doing that very thing right now. I can pass well enough as my femme self, although, I do not think of myself specifically as either gender. As a guy I previously was the person everyone else wanted me to be. I had to literally take everything down to the bone and start from scratch. I made my mark so to speak as my femme self, then balanced all of the feelings and integrated them into my overall self. What I am experiencing now is totally new to me as I am just being mysel(as a guy more or less) and am always the same amalgamated person regardless of appearance.:)

[StacyCD]

Sex is based in the details at birth. Gender is a choice. In the end only you can make yourself happy--it's not up to anyone else. I think we can achieve happiness when we accept ourselves as who we are and stop trying to live up to someone else's expectations.

[Kim_Bitzflick]

Hi Kelsy,

I think I know how you feel. I have never really felt like I fit in with the "guys". I'm no where near the macho guy & I have ALWAYS gotten along with girls better than men. In high school, most of my friends were girls & my best friend was a girl.

So now when I dress am at ease with myself & GG's. I still relate to women better than men & I have several women aquaintences that like Kim.

Kim


Passing has received alot of discussion in this forum but I have been taking a look at passing from a different angle. I've been doing a lot of reading lately and it has set me on yet more introspection.

Memories of my life have been coming to mind of all the different ways that I have tried, sometimes unconsciously, to remedy the disparity between who I am physically and who I am in my emotional and psychological being. The thing I have been pondering lately is the question of passing and this is the crux of it -

I have always been able to pass physically as a male (easy becos I am one:doh:) but I have never been able to pass well as male mentally and emotionally. I have played a male role but I have never been accepted, as a much as I have tried, by other men as one of them. I was different, the role wasn't natural.

I know many here have fit well in the male world, I never did! Since accepting my self as feminine and transgendered I have given up trying to fit in that male world! Does any of this make sense? Any thoughts?


:daydreaming:Kelsy

[Angie G]

Makes sense to me Kelsy your wired a bit more girl then most. And that's not a bad thing hun.:hugs:
Angie