Needing To Reach Out

[Audrey34]

I haven't been posting very often here ladies so my apologies. I just feel the need to get a couple of things off my chest and I could really use some advice. I haven't been dressing much these days. Outside of my Tri-Ess meetings once a month my dressing at home has been practically non-existant. Many times I'll get all prepped (selecting an outfit, shave, shower, etc) and by the time I'm done my mood shifts and the outfits will still be on the bed unworn by the time the evening ends. Many times I've felt the desire to dress but for some reason I don't do it. Now I've just blown 4 days off without dressing and that dark cloud over my head just won't go away. i've talked to my therapist about this before and bless her heart, it was her suggestion that I join my local Tri-Ess group. She also feels there's still some lingering shame and guilt about my being a crossdresser. At the Tri-Ess meetings my experiences there have been so warm and positive. I really love those days when I can dress and walk around the meeting area chatting with the other ladies.

But dressing at home has never been easy for some reason. It's starting to drive me a bit nuts and maybe you ladies probably think I am nuts but I just don't know where to turn right now.
-Audrey

[JoAnne Wheeler]

Well, I guess a lot of us have had a similar experience at one time or the other. I know that sometimes I will be ready emotionally to dress, but my male self has something else to do. We all know that we never lose the "desire" to dress. So, maybe you just want to back off for awhile. I did. And then the "desire" came back with a vengance.

Love,

JoAnne Wheeler

[AllieSF]

Audrey,

I have only experienced this when I haven't been able to dress due to logistical problems, i.e. not alone, traveling, etc. However, from what I have read here, it is not uncommon for us to go into a low activity period. I think that the trick is to let it run it's natural course before we get ourselves all worried. I think we just make things worse when we worry about it. Maybe your mind is asking for a short break and rest period. Go with the flow. It will return and you will be your old self again. Good luck.

[Audrey34]

Thank you ladies. Perhaps you're right. My next Tri-Ess meeting is January 9th so maybe I'll just lie low until then.
-Audrey

[rhondamichelle]

Audrey,

I can't add much to what the previous posters already covered except that maybe the stresses of the holiday season may have been a contributing factor in that you may have just been too tired or pre-occupied to really put your heart into it. Try not to dwell on it, take a break, get some rest, and come back to it later relaxed and refreshed:)

Sincerely,

Rhonda Michelle

[Karren H]

Well I've been through those doldrum days where it comes and goes.... the last time I had to force myself to dress and stayed enfemme for 24 hours straight.... and that did the trick!! It came back...

But's sometimes I do feel that all that prep work and makeup just isn't worth the hastle.... it's much easier to grab my hockey gear and go knock the puck around then to get all made up and go out shopping...

Over the years I developed a just-in-time approach to dressing and it's worked well... 15 to 20 minutes tops to get ready and out the door... or even changing in a public restroom.... makes crossdressing a lot more fun!! lol

So why not try something new... less time getting ready and more time dressed.... ya never know....

[deja true]

Audrey, doll!

I live alone and can dress whenever the heck I like...but do I? Nah!

This great place and the wonderful communication here helped me immeasurably in getting over the guilt and compulsion. And because of that, I found that deja was always with me, dressed or not...

The outcome? Well... like we all have to remember, it's not really about the clothes! It's about the person inside. And if Audrey is a part of you, she'll always be there.

Don't stress about losing opportunities to bring her to a physicality that you can see in a mirror. Just keep her in your heart and she'll be there when you need her!

:)...:<3:...:)

[Jonianne]

I've had to learn to be OK with myself if I decide not to dress. I think having a monthly meeting at triess is a good idea. When I was in triess, years ago, I got to the point that I didn't even want to go every month. I do wish I had continued the monthly meetings. I think, for me, it is important to maintain a steady regime.

[Tracii G]

I do the same things sometimes the urge is there but for some reason I don't dress.I don't worry about it tho' there is always another day.
My girl side is always there and I find comfort knowing Tracii is close by.
Life is full of cycles just go with it.

[DanaR]

I used to dress whenever there was an opportunity. In the last six or seven years, I've felt like getting dressed and staying home just didn't satisfy the need. I like to go out and interact with others.

[Jilmac]

Audry, you didn't mention if you live alone or have a SO at home. I know for myself, when I had my family at home there were many times I wanted to dress but couldn't, or the ambition would wane. For many years I had feelings of guilt and shame, perhaps it was brought on by my wifes disapproval, or maybe I hadn't fully accepted myself. Could it be anxiety keeping you from expressing your femininity? If you live alone, there is no reason why you can't dress and enjoy being Audry. If you're afraid to go out as Audry, your courage will progress with each tri ess meeting you attend.

[Audrey34]

Audry, you didn't mention if you live alone or have a SO at home.

Yes, I do live alone. I know it sounds crazy but I just can't shake these feelings of "I want to dress up, but i really don't wanna deal with it". Like many of you have said to me, the feeling will come back. Thank you all so much for your advice. I'm actually starting to relax a little and I'm sure I'll be back to dressing as Audrey again one of these days.
-Audrey

[beenherelongtime]

i can't add much to what the other posts have told you, but we all go through this at times. so of it might have something to do with only having a limited time to dress, you come home from work, eat, then start to dress, by the time you've cleaned up the kitchen and then yourself, there isn't much time to dress, so mentally you figure why bother

[Sandra Dunn]

I've had the high and lows, however though, I have always underdressed no matter where I was at. Many times I've just put on the dress and watched TV(television) no make-up just the dress. Now I am out and about as me.

HUGS Sandra

[Alice Torn]

Audrey, Lately, going through similar feelings here. I was basically homeless, for several years, and living with others, or living in my van. I almost always jumped at every opportunity, when i got a chance to do it. NOW, that i have an apartment, alone, I just am not motivated much, say I'm too tired, or whatever, most of the time. During the cold weather, i was only willing to wear pantyhose under my sweats, to bed. I have had most of a week in my apartment, and had no desire. A few times, I hung dresses out, just to observe, though, but left them there. I think this is ok. I suffer depression, and bi-polar, anxiety, and all that crap. Sometimes strenous exercise, meditation, or prayer, meds, vitamins, minerals, caffienne can help. Sometimes you gotta get away from dressing for a while.


i

[SissyMin]

I feel the same way because all I want to do is CD for the rest of my life but learning about society modern and historical has been such a let down for me growing up, which has drastically altered my will power to go against the norm and take a stand.

I would rather be "normal" and not worry about being ridiculed by peers or random people, just so I can live semi-happy not dealing with another problem in life.

Just looking back on history the minority usually gets treated differently or misunderstood. Even now racism lingers onward directly or indirectly and sexual orientation can be viewed as the next upcoming issue of civil rights.

Looking at one state of California the banning of gay marriages just shows that statistically more than half of the people that voted do not approve.

The LGBT gets mushed into one pot, anyone that is not hetero get's put in, which I find creates a huge problem that not everyone wants to be put into that category and influences the opinion of society. The problem it creates is because one likes to crossdress, it automatically makes that person bisexual or gay. When in turn he could actually be hetero. There are too many different views in that so called "group" to be called similar.

Unfortunately I believe it all comes down to how many people care and of those people that do, what are they prepared to do about it in order to help liberate the group that we are in? The process could take hundreds of years with and even longer with out a bigger recognition as a problem.

All in all there should be no judgmental thoughts based on age, sex, or race because we are all different. Basically I am trying to say is the "norm" of any society should not exist with in their minds based on a principle that no one person is the same.

I believe that a stronger unification is needed to build up such a misunderstood minority in society.

Yes I am blaming society(s) for bringing fear into my heart for being different. Just as I fear that checks and balances are not really being checked to my approval.