View Full Version : Ive been exploring a bit...

06-10-2005, 09:33 AM
Hi all,
I am Kiera, a M2F CD, and I have been exploring your little section of this forum. I must say I really find it interesting. I do have a question though... How many F2M are there here? It doesnt seem like there are very many of you that visit. Why do you think that is??? I have seen quite a few at a lesbian bar in Cali and became very good friends with a couple while I was there, so I dont think it is because you dont have the numbers that M2Fs have... Anyway.... Just wondering... oh by the way.... I am genetically a guy and in my normal life pass myself off as being very masculine, so if you have any questions feel free to ask, Id love to be able to help...

06-10-2005, 06:16 PM
Welcome and thanks for the kind words. :)
I stopped counting how many F2M are here in this section, so can't help you with the first question. It's the exposure to different voices/opinions that matter, not if the actual number of people reaches a certain amount.

Now, here's my rant in general, not targetting you.
Honestly, it's getting quite tiresome to read "female crossdressers? they don't exist! because there's no stigma to it!" Ok. Personally, what can I say to that? Eddie's seen the way I portray myself, so rest assured I'm for real. But I'm not about to "show" myself to everyone who thinks we don't exist, since that defeats the purpose of what I'm doing. In a selfish manner, I'm not an activist. I just like this sense of maleness, however superficial. So most of the time, all I can do is remain silent, and smile to myself when the same-minded folks call me sir in real life. There's also a kind of apathy/aloofness involved for a guy-persona, maybe a stereotype, but could be another reason it's so quiet over here.

And as I understand it, crossdressing is a separate issue from sexual orientation. Being one doesn't imply the other.

06-10-2005, 10:52 PM
Yeah... I don't know how many FTMs are here... There seem to be fewer than 10 that post regularly, although I'm sure more are registered.
As for why... I'm not sure. Maybe it's a guy thing, along the lines of what Gabriel said. Guys in general tend not to talk as much, and don't admit they have problems or questions. The more open ones are here, the ones who don't mind talking about what's on their mind, who perhaps don't fit as well into the macho guy stereotype.

On the other hand, girls tend to talk and gossip more, etc. so that's probably why there are so many posts in the other sections.

And Gabriel, I entirely agree that I get a little irked when people say there are no female crossdressers, although admittedly I haven't gotten that so much lately. When I first came out I did.
Even Eddie Izzard has said there are no female transvestites, in the sense that nobody would think a girl was a transvestite-- not that they don't exist. He has publicly disagreed with himself on this statement, and also told me he has known a few besides myself. So that's cool.
It does seem that most FTMs fancy women though, which I find somewhat strange. I mean, the statistics are a little odd. About 80% of FTMs fancy women, and about the same number of MTFs fancy women. You would think that close to the same number of each group were heterosexual, but that's far from the case... That's just my confusion. Not sure I had a point here, although I rarely do anymore... O.o

06-11-2005, 06:40 AM
Thanks for the feedback,
I do hope my words did not offend anyone, because that was not my intention. So I guess I never really thought about the fact that most guys dont really open up. Makes sense. I had always thought that pehaps, at least in my mind, that f2m is generally more acceptable socially and therfore this haven we girls(m2f) flee to is one of the only outlets we have for our feminine side. I guess the differences in the two stereotypes are more numerous than I had previously thought. Stands to reason since it is just a stereotype right? Learn something new every day. Anyway, thanks again for your responses.... ;)

Katie Ashe
06-27-2005, 08:27 AM
Kiera: Gabriel & Abraxas both have valid points. With out recaping what they said... I still want to talk to those FTM, they are no-less human than I. They may be a bit more restrained in postings than most. Yes they don't have that stigma, but there thoughts are important to me. I ask Q's and Abraxas has always been there for me (thanks buddy). One of my points are, the GG are FTM, yet we (MTF) strive to by the GG we can never me. They are often over looked because they are alowed to dress anyways they want. In general, they kinda hide maybe, shy away from people in general because of the lack of understanding others have for their feelings. I am interested in what they have to say, and would befriend them before/instead of a real guy. My neighbor is a open les and her girlfriend is really cool... we got along really well, we have more in common than I ever though. I am glad I met them. I too oppionated sometimes, sorry... I'll go now :o


07-08-2005, 10:48 AM
Hey Katie, no need for the apology, you did nothing wrong. Different opinions are welcome in a discussion. Now that I thought about what I said, maybe I should've toned it down a bit. Then again, every time I censor myself, I end up saying nothing. Heh. :D Keep doing what you do. Make people get used to seeing CDing. And thank you all for fighting at the front lines.

07-09-2005, 09:25 AM
while I still think it is a bit easier for the FtM crossdressers, after seeing some of the pics in the forum of some of the guys like Eddie, I know it cant be a cake walk either. I am possitive that being assumed to be a butch dike is common, and is just as annoying as people who automaticaly think we gals are gay. We all dont fit into societies narrow definitions and they like to make us feel scorned because of it.

Ultimately its not weather your FtM or MtF, but its that we are expressing what is inside of ourselves.

07-09-2005, 01:34 PM
I think Charlene hit the nail right on the head. "Society" has a very narrow concept of CDers. What it all boils down to, though, is whether one feels comfortable with one's self.

What we are doing in this forum is to create our own society and help each other feel that we are just as normal as the next person. We are on this tiny rock for a very short time and we should not have to hide what is in our hearts and minds. We all have two halves of a brain and Deanna lives very comfortably inside my head!!!!