Cancer as a healing catalyst

[helenr]

I have been married 26 years. About 8 years into our marriage, my 'urge' reawoke and hasn't gone away since. I am truly not sure why there was this interuption as I have been mentally transgendered since about age 6.
My wife has been tolerant, though wanting no part of any going out as girlfriends,etc-none of that acceptance. I think she is fairly typical in her response from the hundreds of posts I have read all over.
I have tried more than ever to be good to her. I am not mentally able to 'perform as a male' but she hasn't wanted sex with me due to her mental discomfort of me being either dressed en femme or thinking that way. I can appreciate this too.
Since my diagnosis with a rare skin cancer and the scary statistics, she has been much more tolerant. I don't mean that she is thinking of my life insurance coverage,etc. She seems to feel bad that she was so critical of my innate need to express my transgenderism. She knows I have been on some meds, and it seems she truly doesn't care at this point. Our relationship has improved, I try so to be attentive, don't challenge some of the goofy pills and elixirs she prepares for me-just be agreeable.
Isn't it ironic how a life threatening condition can trigger better communication, greater love, tolerance of what really is pretty small stuff, and general improved relationship? Helen

[kay2]

It is too bad that it often takes a crisis to make us appreciate what is important in life. I'm sorry to hear of your health problems. However, I think it is wonderful that you and your wife are focused on loving one another.

My best wishes to you and your wife.

[JoAnne Wheeler]

HELEN,
I pray that your cancer will be curred. It is somewhat ironic isn't it that it took something like cancer to change your spouse's attitude.

My spouse's attitude changed this year when she saw what was happening to me both physically and mentally when I was unable to let JoAnne come out of the closet (irritability, depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts, etc.)

I was at a low ebb - then my spouse saw things in a different light.

Love from your sister,

JoAnne Wheeler

[gennee]

Helen, I will be praying for your cancer to be cured. I will have others do the same.

Gennee


:straightface:

[Tip or Ozma]

After prostate cancer treatment ten years ago, my exploration of crossdressing and sharing that unique part of me with my partner has increased dramatically. Now, with our experiencing problems with regular intercourse due to menopause, crossdressing has become a part of our intimate life. The benefits of my self-acceptance and her acceptance of that part of me has opened a new world of intimacy.