help, frustrated!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[geri]

hi ladies,

to begin this thread, i should tell everyone that i have been seeing a gender therapist and have been diagnosed as having gender dysphoria.

i can't sleep, i think about transitioning all the time ( day, night and dreams ).
i envision having a penectomy, going on hrt, having a hair transplant, ffs and generally going from male to female in looks. my heart and mind say i should do it but...........................

i am 66 next month, i have been married to a wonderful person for almost 45 years and have 2 children. we have developed a great amount of friends, have a nice home and autos and have a pretty good porfollio. i also have arthritis, heart problems, high hcl, low ldl and borderline diabetes.

with that being said, i am in a quandry of what to do and i would like some input from you girls. i know some of you are in this same situation and it's you i want to hear from.

my wife does not accept me as geri so it is difficult to even get out dressed at times. i want so much for her to accept part of me. we can work on the other parts later.

so here i sit, frustrated.
geri danielle

[Kerrylee61]

I can relate as I too am on the wrong side of 60. I could have transitioned at 52 but for a number of reasons chose not too. Let's face it... at 60+ and given the medical issues you face plus the time factors involved it just doesn't make sense.

By the time you were done, if you lived through it, you would be close to 70.... whats the point?

Another issue would be even finding a reputable surgeon who would even consider srs.

Try and learn to accept who you are and enjoy life as it is.

Just my opinion

Kerry

[almalove]

I also think it may be way to risky with all those factors, and if you loosing your family may be the most damaging part, please get all the info that you can, and consider making the best out of your situation, my best wishes and I keep you and other like you and me in my prayers.


Alma

[geri]

kerry,

thanks hon. age has alot to do with our decisions. i have a friend who has gone the whole route but she is only 53, so for her, it was ok.
where was all this information when i was 20? oh well..........

hugs,
geri

[geri]

almalove,

thanks hon. please do keep me in your prayers. it helps that " girls " like us understand each other. as i said to kerry, " where was all this information when i was 20?" holy crap. i would have been beautiful, full figured, maybe married to a nice guy and all that other stuff.

hugs,
geri

[TerryTerri]

Hey Geri,

I'm still in a figuring this out for myself stage. But, one thing I have discovered for me is that being female is not about dressing up, although that is a part of it, it is not about talking, walking, shopping, and other assorted actions like a girl. Those are a part of it, but only a part. The core, essential element is a undeniable, beautiful, spark deep inside myself that is female. That 'core' is something I possess that no one can take away from me or deny me and regardless of my ability or inability to 'act' or 'look' the part I am still in femme inside myself. In short, being female is a state of mind for me. I have a tendency to believe that I'm capable of finding a comfortable and non-conflicted resolution to my gender confusion and externally dressing or acting the part with others is not an essential requirement. Being female is about how I feel living inside my own skin, not what others see or what I project unto others.
Anyway, that's my 2 cents worth. I hope you are able to find the answers for you that bring resolution, tranquility and comfort to you.
Be seeing you around here I hope!
Terri Jo!
PS. it is also entirely possible that I'm full of something that smells rather yucky too. Like I said, I'm fairly new to this and trying to figure out my own answers.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

i always tell girls to read dr anne vitale's site, there are other nice sites but she speaks to issues that older ts women are feeling and i beleive you may find some direction there

you have to decide how you feel as a man, if you are ts, and you've done it this long, is there a reason you need to change now? maybe you feel you can't wait another moment.. etc...

i know 3 postop women, that had grs after age 65 (one was 64) and they are all thriving

good luck
michele

[jillleanne]

Wow, Geri, my heart goes out to you. Now to answer your question from my perpective:
First, I sincerely hope you have made evey effort to discuss all this with your wife and I'll assume, with no results. If you have not brought all this to your wifes attention, then that's the starting point, and may include professional therapy for both you and your wife.
Then there is the choice you will need to make as to whether or not you can live out your remaining years happily married and in the closet, or begin a new life as 'her' finally, this of course assuming your wife stays non accepting. Should your wife become accepting of 'her', well, Whaaaa Hooooo to you, you get your cake and eat it too. Only you can do what is necessary to make you happy.