is it common for cd's?

[crossdrezzer1]

Is it common for cd's to have very little friends,, reading these post I have gathered that many are friendless in real life,, I know I am,,I choose not to hang with the guys,,rather go to work,,do my job and return home asap, after doing this for many years my friends drifted apart and ,,well,,just plain gave up on me,, I prefer it that way and my wife says I need friends,,I prefer female friends because growing up I was the only boy in a family of all girls, not sure if that has anything to do with it but just get along better with females,relate better, I do think it would be nice to have a friend but have been out of practice for so long not sure if I know how to have one never less how to get one,,well at least I have all you to call friends....thanks for reading yet another thought of mine......

[linnea]

I have lots of casual friends and few very good friends. I enjoy the company of men and women, but I don't hang out a lot with any of them. However, I have a good time when I do hang out with them. At work, I'm sociable, but I don't hang out in the lunch room or at the water cooler.
I enjoy the company of women, especially when I'm in fem mode.

[Petra Bellejambes]

... pretty much like any group of people who have 1 important thing in common. I am sure there are complete and complusive social butterflys here in the forum, a handful of happy misanthropes and everything in between.

I have always been fortunate. A manageable number of really important friends from "both" gender groups, with different interests. Always happy to hibernate from crowds and company to recharge, but equally excited at what happens around people in general ...

[BobbiJ]

I used to have a lot of friends, but the older i get, the fewer i have. Today, there is one guy that i would say is truly a friend, and we have known each other since we were toddlers. Yet even he doesn't know about Bobbi, and i'm afraid that if he did, i'd have no male friends at all.

Pretty sad how fear paralyzes us, isn't it?

Socially, i prefer talking with women. With guys, about all i'm capable of talking about is sports. That's probably the only area in which i feel 100% in "boy mode," and nothing femme slips out, so i feel safe around them.

[Slip Affinity]

I have a fairly large circle of friends. None of them know about my favorite past time, tho.

[stephanie.ts]

Being only 25 I meet regularly with close friends from high school (I never made any close friends in college). Some know I'm transsexual, others simply understand that I enjoy feminine attire. Sometimes I dress as a guy, often I dress as a female. Although the friends themselves have fluctuated, the number has been pretty consistent for the last decade.

I agree with your wife that we all need people we feel connections with. Sometimes it's difficult because I spend so much time with my girlfriend I neglect others. Selfishly, even, when I want to complain about something, she's the only person who gets the earful, or, I keep it bottled up (especially if it's about her :wink:). I am also part of a transgender support group and attend a m2f and crossdresser's therapy group weekly.

Overall I suppose some people are just more reclusive than others, and don't need many friends to feel fulfilled.

[JoAnne Wheeler]

That is somewhat true - other than my spouse, my only friends of JoAnne are you sisters on this website.

In my male mode, I have fellow worker friends, small group friends, choir friends, but they all seem to be casual

I wish I could come out to everyone, so I did not have to keep my friends away so JoAnne can have time

I can't come out because of both my spouse and my male self's positions in the community

Love,

JoAnne Wheeler

[Annaliese]

I am much like you, I would rather be by my self or with my wife, when I go riding it is by my self most of the time this bothers my wife because last year me and my horse got in some wire and we were both cut up bad.

Annaliese

[joann426]

i have friends eslecially my sisters they help me out a lot they know about my crossdressing and they are cool with it it isnice to have sisters like that :hugs:

[Karren H]

Well my wife and I are like BFF... So were together most of the time.. And I have a lot of friends through work but we really don't hang out a lot.. I'll go over and help someome out or we'll go out to lunch.. Then there's all of you girls!!! Lol. And I have a bunch of friends on the makeup site I mod...

But I'm certanly not a hermit....

[PretzelGirl]

As someone else said, you will find all cuts of life here. In another thread, someone wanted to know if CD usually meant OCD also. To me CD is just a trait. So when you see it pop up enough, you will see it in hockey players ( :devil: ), police officers, politicians, etc. So if you want to find someone with a particular trait or job that is also a CD, I say it shouldn't be a problem.

[Janie Gunn]

I have many more friends now than in my younger years (in my teens and twenties it wasnt viable to be as sociable). Because I'm a regular at a number of pubs/in the local band scene, I've got plenty of friends, always making new friends. Some of those friends are aware that I'm a tranny but I've also made a number of new friends in recent weeks who are transgender, gay or lesbian.

[Melinda G]

You have few real friends in life, and lots of acquaintances. My close buddy got married and moved out of state some years ago. My last relationship ended a few years ago. But I don't mind. I dress around the house, most of the time now, when I'm home. And I don't need people dropping by unexpectedly. It's bad enough when the UPS guy rings the bell now and then, but I'm usually expecting something, and I'm ready when he comes.

[docrobbysherry]

You have few real friends in life, and lots of acquaintances. I dress around the house, most of the time now, when I'm home. And I don't need people dropping by unexpectedly.

I agree Melinda. I stay in touch with my "friends". But don't need to hang out with them! Aquaintances come and go.

Who has time for anyone else? I have my daughter part time. When she's not here, I'm either dressing, or working on CD paraphinalia! Or, online!:heehee:

[sandra-leigh]

I've pretty much always been a social outsider, right back to kindergarten, long long before I had any idea about cross-dressing. I was different -- intelligent, introverted, and poor at sports -- so I was either teased to the point of cruelty (by kids who didn't realize what they were doing), or I was mostly ignored.

It was a hard life for a kid, but it gave me inner strength: since I knew that I was being good, if others didn't care to associate with me, it was because of something in them.

So I grew up a non-conformist, in the sense of researching and thinking about things for myself and acting as seemed proper to me and for me, rather than acting for popularity or for money.

Along the way, for no reason I have ever been able to determine, I got called a "fag" many times, often by total strangers passing by, including when I was wearing stereotypical male clothes (e.g., lumberjack shirt) within 3 minutes of having my hair cut short by an old-school barber. Thus I developed a strong sense of "What do I care what other people assume of me based solely upon my appearance?".

Hence when I realized I was a cross-dresser, going out in public was relatively easy for me: I already knew that people were going to make quick arbitrary judgments based upon their inner hells, and I was no stranger to being called names by the ignorant. And the really odd thing about it all was that it turns out that when I'm cross-dressed or gender-bending, that more people are friendly to me! Some of that is likely a reflection of me smiling more now, but there must be other factors in there somewhere.


But getting back to the topic of "friends": even now, in my late 40's, literally tens of thousands of people know of me (I answer a lot of technical questions on the internet), but I have few friends. Unfortunately I moved away from the city of my high-school / university friends, and some of them moved in turn, and they don't bother to keep in touch with me -- or much in touch with each other either, for the most part. And at my job... well, it wasn't my job to be friendly to people, it was my job to (as fairly as possible all around) do the (many) hard technical things that had to be done. And no-body notices the things that don't break, only the things that do break (and if you are a tech able to do "more with less", they will reduce your budget until things break. :sad:) Eventually I burned out... and discovered cross-dressing while recovering from that, and in engaging in it, have met a slew of friendly acquaintances that I would never have known otherwise.

[Jess_cd32]

I've always been kind of a loner also by choice and wondered about this and cd's recently myself. I've had alot of male friends over the years depending where I was working at the time and we used to go clubbing alot and do other things but I wasn't the type to ask people over to visit regularly etc... I like my free time to myself more.

For the most part though I've always had closer and more meaningfull friendships with females for some reason, why I don't really know, I can just relate to them better. I also like cd's more as friends than just regular guys as we'll have a lot more in common.

[Toni_Lynn]

I prefer to have only a small number of very close friends rather than a large number of casual friends. Just the way I am.

In high school I had almost no friends. The one I did have where the 'weirdos' (not my words). One guy later did come out as gay in his 20s, and then died of aids.

The one thing I found to be ironic is how many of the 'popular' kids, the 'most likely to succeed' ones -- burned out early. One I know, who I was friends with, went on to become a lawyer. I saw him at our 20 year reunion. He became a right prat and went on about how women where all b****es and needed to be slapped around.

My wife and I are the same in this regard -- as far as friends in high school etc -- and so I guess that's why our love is so intense. As k d lang sings 'maybe some great magnetic pulls all things toward true'

Huggles

Toni-Lynn

[Christine Hanes]

I have a few close friends. But most are work related friendships, coworkers and the like. My wife and I have very few close friends, but the ones we do are dear to us. For the most part, much like you, I am ok with doing my own thing alone or with my wife.

[maid phylis]

this is a correct statement ,all my friends are crossdressers and i consider them my girlfriends.and they are the loveliest people on the planet. :love:phylisanne

[Shari]

You're not alone.
Most everything I've read that attempts to profile a crossdresser usually includes the fact that they are all pretty much loners.
You can file me in that category too. Pretty much have always been that way, not because of the dressing, but just a personal preference.
My golfing buddies are as far as it goes. I do not hang with the guys other than in my golf leagues.
There are also many acquaintances from my work and that's where it ends.
My wife is my best friend and really my only true friend. She's also the only one who knows about Shari, other than you girls here.
Does this help?

[Carole Cross]

I have never had more than a feew friends in my life because I have always felt different to others. On New Years Eve I went to a local group meeting and met a lot of people like me. So in the next few months I hope to make many of them friends. :D

[queenie]

I'm definitely not the loner type. I've got a pretty wide circle of friends and a few really good ones. The ones that know i dress i can count on one hand.

I just don't have any friends that CD. I've met a fellow dresser once, but that was kind of awkward. She wanted to go shopping and I only do that away from home. I know too many people to get outed that way! We hit a couple stores that day and wouldn't you know it, I almost ran smack dab into my mom. Luckily I spotted her first!

[Sarah89]

I have a small circle of friends, really only close to 5 of them , and everybody else I hang with are usually friends of theirs.
I must admit , I find it really hard to sociallise, I dont know how to interact with people etc.
But i dont think it is anything related to cd'ing

[Jonianne]

Socially, I also have been pretty much a loner most of my life.

[ColleenPDX]

I've always had a fair number of friends, but I think that having to hide my CD'ing from people has always made me keep them at arm's length. I guess we all have secrets, but it bothers me that I have to hide this part of me. I've always told the women I've been romantically involved with, but I've never been brave enough to let others know. No matter how close a friend someone is there is always the fear that they would freak out.

[Tess]

I have very few male friends. I have more and closer female friends. From what I've read that isn't uncommon for men. We generally have fewer friends than GG's and we generally are closer to female friends than male. In our highly mobile society it is difficult to keep long friendships going. I moved away from my school friends many years ago but strangely I feel closer to some of them than I do to the newer friends in my current location. Guys just don't make as good friends as girls.

[Carroll]

I really have no good male friends...and my wife has few female good friends. We both have stabbed in the back so many times its not worth it.

[JenniferR771]

I am not very social--nerdy--a loner really. But I enjoy keeping in touch with my cd friends and acquaintences. So wife and I hang around the house a lot, but we cannot talk about cd as she does not accept me.

[Sally2005]

Seems to be a trend. I have fewer friends as I get older. I found that as their lives changed they no longer have time for their old friends and I have grown tired of maintaining friendships, so I have friends that I only see a few times a year and otherwise its just me and my wife and kid. I always only had a small circle of close friends and not being comfortable or feeling different had a lot to do with it.

[Nicole Erin]

Sometimes I like to kid myself and think I have friends but when I really need one for like help or just someone to talk to, I then realise the truth is I just don't have many, maybe my big sis but that is really it.

[Janie Gunn]

I reckon I would have about an equal number of male and female friends. Personally I dont agree with what Tess said
Guys just don't make as good friends as girls.

[Persephone]

Pretty much as Tess-Leigh wrote, "I was different -- intelligent, introverted, and poor at sports -- so I was either teased to the point of cruelty (by kids who didn't realize what they were doing), or I was mostly ignored."

Consequently, it took me quite a while, somewhat into adulthood, to develop any reasonable social skills.

Now I have a number of friends. I have always tended to have better friendships with women, but do have a couple of solid male friendships as well.

Many people presumably only know me as a male.

There are a number of people who know me both en drab and en femme. I think that is always a difficult position to place people in as they have to try to relate to both personnae.

There are also a few folks who know me only en femme and who, no doubt, would be shocked and upset to discover the male side of my life.

It sometimes worries me that I have to be careful not to "out" myself in either gender role.

[Rachel_CDS]

I have quite a few casual fiends, and several good friends. None of these are what you would call "best friends" though.

The only person that knows of my CDing is my wife who is very supportive.

I do see less of my friends than I could because I find excuses to stay in & indulge in my favourite hobby (CDing). I would not want to lose any of my friends because of this though!

[Leanne2]

Like many of you, I am a loner. I work with men and many men know me but that is as far as it goes. I never do anything with men for recreation. My wife is my best friend and she disapproves of my cross dressing. Isn't that sad?
I take care of an elderly neighbor lady and she is a good friend. She knows that I CD and she doesn't care. Many people at church are friendly but we all head our separate ways after the services. I noticed that one girl mentioned OCD. I have that but I'm not sure that it has anything to do with my cding.
At social functions I gravitate toward the women. The girls at my beauty shop are fun to be around. Guys can be such pigs some times.

[Suzie S.]

Well, the old rule still applies, you have to be a friend to have a friend. :) When I was younger, I had a lot of good friends. Now that I'm older I have a few GREAT friends. I guess some friendships fade over time, and the ones that are left are your genuine true friends! I have 3 friends (all guys) that are so close they could be my brothers! All three have been my friends for over 25 years! I am fortunate and eternally grateful for their friendship. My wife also enjoys their company, and considers them her friends also. :D My wife and I have made friends with other couples, and neighbors, since we have married, and socialize with them frequently. I truly would be lost without these people in my life! So, nope, I'm no loner. :hugs:

[deja true]

I've got a humongous circle of first-name acquaintances because of the very public kind of jobs that I've done, but quite honestly, can only think of a handful of very good friends...people I would do anything for! Kind of a very social and sociable loner, I guess!

While I do get lots of invitations, I very seldom actually go out, prefering my own company.

Now you lot are another story altogether! Our virtual friendships, based on the private and persoanal sharing that we do here and when we infrequently meet in person, seems a different kind of bond. One that I like a lot for the openness and empathy that has been missing in my life for decades.

Many here I love and respect more than people that I've known for years... Is that a result of my yearning for close contact with people like myself? Or am I (finally) growing out of that misanthropic persona that I've cultivated all those years?

[Kelsy]

My wife is my best friend! I have always been somewhat of a loner, always feeling that I was different somehow! I think freinds need to share common interests and I have meet only a few people who have had the same interests as me. aquantances I have had, many close friends few but there have been some. I cherish the girls here and wish I could be closer friends with you all. I long for nonjudgemental relationships and without this site I would be lonelier!!:) There is no support group anywhere near enough to me that I could join on a regular basis.

Kelsy

[Angie G]

The last few years I've done much the same as you seems I'd sooner stay home and dress up.:hugs:
Angie

[Christine1953]

I'm with you Kesly. Ive always felt intimadated around guys. I can always talk with women easier. We had a bunch of close freinds, but they had kids and we couldn't so we lost contact with them. We have few close neighbors and SO has her MK customers.

[Maria2222]

I only have one close friend in my real life. I also happen to be somewhat introverted. I don't mind, it's just the way I am and I'm comfortable with it.
On the other hand, I have quite a few friends here and am much more outgoing. So why do I apparently feel more comfortable here? Maybe one of you cross dressing Freuds can tell me. LOL.

[Samantha43]

I have many casual friends and several friends that I am really close to that I have known for a very long time. Some going back to early childhood. None of them know about Samantha. As I go through life, my number of friends doesn't really change, but some of the faces do.

Like some others have said here. My wife is my best friend. I would rather spend time with her than any one else. The really great part is, she is also Samantha's best friend....

[MomofCD]

My 18 year old son seems similar to you. He goes to work or school and comes home. Currently, he has one girl "friend" whom he occasionally gets together with. However, if it seems like too much trouble - he prefers staying home alone. He also has mild asperger's which is a form of high functioning autism. He is extremely smart but socially clumsy. I wonder if possibly his being different and thinking different than most others may be why he was initially attracted to crossdressing. He sees no boundaries. I love him exactly as he is but it is hard for those us of without these tendencies to understand. But I'm trying hard to open my mind and understand what it must be like. God bless you all!

[Cassia-Marie]

I can totally relate. I've had one best friend (male) whom I considered more a brother than a friend. He was the center of a pretty large group of friends and we all stuck together and did things socially all the time. He passed away 5 years ago and the group completely fell apart. We tried to stick together but it was tough for me because I missed him so much. Over a year or so, we all drifted apart and now I find myself without any real friends.
My wife is a good person and we have a loving relationship but there are some strong differences between us that keep me from feeling the same kind of friendship that I had with my "brother." I hear there are some who have SO's that are their best friend and that's enough for them. For me, though, I'm pretty lonely most of the time.
So my New Year's resolution is to befreind other CD's in my area and make new friends. It'll be tough because my wife is very possessive of me and naturally suspicious of everything I do. I'll just have to work on it. I feel it's important to have several good, solid friends.

[BekiJ]

Growing up, my friends revolved around athletics. But other than that, none really. I met my wife early in college (one might say it was a fluke, don't know what she saw in me), and from that point it has been her or our friends.

I am uncomfortable in social situations. Never know what to say. And two days later figure it out. Like at a HS reunion, a girl I had a huge crush on - should have told her that she was still the prettiest girl in the class. That came to me hours if not days later.

My wife has several close friends. They sometimes vacation together. I am envious, but also very happy for her. I think women form closer friendships with other women than men do with men (expect in the case of shared military experiences).

Hugs
BekiJ

[kymmieLorain]

Well I have few friends. I feel my wife is my best friend. Most of my friends live in other states and have known for meny years. I can not remember when someone called me and wanted to do something. Am I happy? I have been diagnosed with major depression that may answer the question.

Kymmie

[Emily Anderson]

Wow, very interesting thread! Seems like there are a lot of "loners" out there, so I'll add myself to the pack :)

Fact is, I'm a very sociable person, inasmuch as people perceive me as being interesting and friendly, but I don't seek friendships per se. In fact, I'm quite contented with being on my own, doing my own thing, and when the situation arises... I socialize like everyone else.

[Carla68]

You may add another to the ever growing list of us with no friends at all. This also means I have no social life and and self confidence. This has covered most of my life. I have always been the loner and the very shy quiet one and avoid any social event (if I'm lucky to be invited) because I always end up standing there with nothing to talk about feeling stupid like an outcast. I am 40 years old now still single, alone and living with parents. Even at work sometimes it can be a battle with this confidence thing of mine. Yes I have work associates but that's all it is. All I have in my life is work, the internet and the television set. Not forgetting my cd pastime. Sorry to waffle on but once I started this reply I had to type my thoughts as I have never spoken to anyone before about this. Yes I am still in the closet by the way.

Kind regards

(Billy no mates)

Carla

[sometimes_miss]

I never had lots of friends; as a kid, usually none. I had a birthmark on my face that made me kind of the class outcast, and that lasted until I got out of school and could afford to have it fixed. But even then, I only had a few friends, usually from work, and if either of us changed jobs, we would lose contact. Then after the divorce, I told a few about the CD'ing, and they kind of slowly disappeared out of my life. Now I have two friends; one, I've known on and off since high school, but we only see each other about three or four times a year. We keep in touch via email, but that's about it, we don't have much in common anymore at all. The other one is a guy I know from work, but we don't have much in common either, so we don't spend a lot of time together. Mostly, it's to go to train events, whether it be model set ups or the real thing.
I spend the vast majority of my time alone, and, sadly, don't see that changing any time soon. As I tend to dress as a girl much of the time I'm home now, I tend to leave various things lying around the house that I don't want people to see, so I don't usually invite anyone over spontaneously anymore; but I think that's more a result of no one ever visiting when I did invite them, so I kind of got lazy and leave a few 'girl' things out just for my own convenience. I got tired of straightening up and hiding all my fem stuff, only to have someone cancel out at the last minute. My last visitor was, oh, four years ago maybe? My social life consists of going out to eat, and the occasional foray to gogo bars for a little human physical contact; if I don't cuddle up with someone once in a while, I kind of get withdrawal symptoms. The girls are nice, but I wouldn't call them friends.

[julia ann]

I also have had very few friends over the years, my wife just thinks I am an anti social person,however, working construction I am surrounded by male neanderthals that treat and speek of women in a very degrading manner. So I have nothing to do with them after work and bearly tolerate during. The few "freinds' I do have would not at all understand about Julia, so I guess you could say I don't have many "good'' friends. Sounds kinda sad but it is my choice.

[PretzelGirl]

I hope for those that don't have many friends around that it is how you want it. If you stay at home to dress, then it may never change.

My situation is almost the opposite. My wife and I have enough friends and family that stop by, that we don't have to do any inviting to see them often. It has caused me to become a quick change artist also. :nailbiting: The downside is that I rarely get the time to perfect makeup as I usually won't have time to keep it on. But that is a trade-off I most certainly will take.

[marny]

There is an old saying . Before you die you can count your real friends on one hand. Right now I still need the second hand . I hope it stays that way. Four Know and are OK. Not sure what the others will think

[Joni Beauman]

Yeah, I feel rather isolated socially and even somewhat professionally. It bothers me sometimes and sometimes not...I almost always go to lunch alone while others go in groups. I do wonder about traits consistent with this gender dysphoria thing leading to a mutual decision between most of the world and me to keep our distance. My wife and daughter are my main focus and our daughter is about to fly off to college somewhere by next fall...and I am supposed to teach a class next fall at the local U......involving 4 hr field trips with 25 students. Ugh...could get ugly. Joni