If she knew, how accepting/supporting was your mother?

[heathr1]

Mother found a skirt of mine in my bedroom, during my teens and sympathetically approached me, promising to tell nobody and offering support......I denied it and nothing has been mentioned since.

[Emily Anderson]

My mother caught me a few times between the ages of 4 and 16, but it was always me who didn't want to talk about it, and my mother respected that. Later on in life we discussed it in more detail, and while she doesn't really understand (do any of us?), she has no problem with it... Except she told me outright that she would prefer not to see me in drag.

[sometimes_miss]

I told my mom when my divorce was pending; my ex had threatened to out me, and I knew my family and friends were the targets, so I launched a pre-emtive strike so to speak, because I'd rather the information come from me. Didn't work out well though. Mom pretends I never told her as much as she can. When I was over the house for the holidays, I picked up a dress catalog, and got a 'are you still doing that?' response, with the tone of disgust obvious. My sister is pretty much the same way. Back to 'don't ask, don't tell' for me.

[Amy Lynn3]

My Mom caught me several times when I was young. She outed me to the entire family. My brother still calls me Rachael.

[MissConstrued]

My mum found my stash when I was 14 or so, and threw it all away when I was off at school. Maybe she hoped to nip it in the bud, but -- Epic Fail! She never said anything about it, but I've never felt like I could trust her with anything since. So, we've never talked about it.

They tell parents to be nosy with their teenagers, but in too many cases, it's not worth the loss of trust.

[DAVIDA]

I had a pair of four inch heels on the only time my mother has seen me dressed. She just said "don't break an ankle in those".:heehee:

[helenr]

Surely my mother picked up on my interest in her clothes and crossdessing at a young age. she was early school 'open minded' and saw nothing wrong with putting on her underwear-rubber girdles back in the early 50's, stockings,etc while I sat on a stool visiting with her. I am not sure this piqued my interest. My big sister-who always was smarter, better behaved, the favorite-I sneaked her pink nylon briefs that she never wore-preferred her dull Lollypop cotton briefs- and put them on. I don't know if there was anything more than mental pleasure.
Later-when about 14-I borrowed my mothers black slip,etc and was so embarassed when she asked for them-clearly I had borrowed them-and she wondered if this was for a masquerade of some sort. She was kind about it. We never discussed my transvestism at any point-maybe more of the don't ask, don't tell.
helen

[Intertwined]

Accept for one instance where my clothing got left behind on a trip, and I had to wear my cousins (girl) stuff, Mom never saw me in girls cloths.

She never said a thing to me about dressing up in any way shape or form, never hinted at it.

BUT, there is NO way she did not know, she was a clean freak, and I know on several occations she saw, and straightened up my stash.

She is no longer with us, so I have no idea what she knew, or thought, just another one of my regrets.

[Angela Q]

Mother found a skirt of mine in my bedroom, during my teens and sympathetically approached me, promising to tell nobody and offering support......I denied it and nothing has been mentioned since.

Why did you deny it?

[heathr1]

I guess through embarrassment, plus had I admitted it, there would have been no goung back.

[Sandie43]

My Mother knew of me dressing in my sisters clothes and didnt say anything then when I was around 12 I was told in no uncertain terms by Both Mother and Father I must stop and act as a man (whatever that means). Even today she will make little remarks how wrong it is for men to do this. I guess that is her way of making sure I never reveal the real me.

[Carol A]

I have told this story many a time but?, my mother caught me at 14 all dressed up in her cloths. She was more mad over me wearing her good dress and of course I was told I was to young to be wearing heels.
Take off my dress now and the shoes, I was given a plain white blouse and a simple blue skirt and told to put these on. Oh gosh I was crying and all that stuff but mother never backed down.
Anyway a long story short I was made to wear those cloths all weekend and of course we had the big long talk about why. So anyway that was the start of Carol back in 1955 and I have dressed every since.:daydreaming:

[Cristi]

My mother found my 'stash' a few times and asked about it, but I lied my way out of it ("My sister must have put those clothes there")

Once, a slip of mine mistakenly got mixed in with my other laundry when I brought it all downstairs. When the clean folded laundry came back to me, the slip was in the pile neatly folded along with the other clothes.

All of my siblings knew that my mom would poke through their rooms when we were off to school. Nothing we had was every much of a secret from her (my sister could never hide so much as a pack of cigarrettes without my mom finding them) so I'm sure my multiple and large stashes were not as secret as I told myself they were.

Finally, just a few years ago, the topic of conversation somehow turned to men and dresses. My mom's contribution was that she didn't understand why men couldn't wear dresses anyway. I almost opened up to her right there but thought better of it.

I would have liked to have done so, but she's at an age now where she doesn't really think things through, and passes on everything she hears. I've heard 'secrets' from her that I'm sure the teller wouldn't have wanted her to pass on. So if I'd come out to her, it would soon be public knowledge and I'm not ready for that.

But right now, I know she knows. And she knows I know she knows... :)

I think my mom would have been cool with me dressing as a kid, but my father would never have allowed it. He was always pushing me toward 'manly' things and would have blown a gasket if he'd known about my hobby. :) In fact, he DID find my stash once just before I moved out of the house, but that is a story for another post.

[Lanore]

My mother always knew I was different. When I would help her around the house, she would give me one of her old blouses to work in. And my grandma bought me my first bottle of Nair.

[Adele]

I always felt I should have told mum that I was different especially after we became much closer when dad passed away. However I never told her and she passed away a coupe of years ago. I have a sneaky suspicion that she might have know as it was her clothes I borrowed from the age of about 6. I

[JoAnne Wheeler]

No one ever caught me until I was married.
JoAnne Wheeler

[KandisTX]

One of them was not supportive at all and immediately chalked it up to the fact that I was "mentally disturbed" and needed a psychiatrist. (never said anything to the shrink so she was wasting money there). (This was actually my second cousin who raised me for 10 years, and it was her and her daughter's clothing I was wearing from age 6 - 16)

The second, my actual step mother, it was her clothing I wore along with my sisters from 16 - 171/2 and at that point I came out to her she was quite supportive and gave me permission to wear her clothing, and even took me shopping for my own under garments and lingerie items. Now, my wife and her as well as my daughter all buy Kandis presents ;)

Kandis:love::rose2:

[Fallen Angel]

My mom is very supportive, She's gone numerous time out with me.And has help with alot of my alterations on clothing.I couldn't ask for a better freind

[Teranika]

Not at all.
Completely < supportive.

[TommiTN]

Although she never saw me dressed my mom knew I was wearing her things when she wasn't around. She confronted me several times and got my dad involved. Of course the usual questions were asked: "are you gay?" (that term wasn't in vogue yet; the word used began with the letter Q), "do you want to be a girl?" Neither of my parents were at all supportive, but after the initial shock they didn't seem to be particularly dead set against it, either. I guess they still loved me in spite of my prediliction. Of course this was long before I starting going out while dressed. I'm sure that would have met with a good deal of disapproval had I tried it while still living at home. I think my mom suspects I still dress; she drops little hints at times. I guess she has good reason. I'm middle aged and still unmarried, one of her concerns about me. I've thought of opening up to her but I don't want to burden her with a secret to be kept from my sister and BIL who would most certainly not understand or approve.

[satin_luva]

Both my mum and stepmother know. It was my stepmum who came to knowledge of it first after finding half of my stash underneath my bed in the middle of the week. She went and told my father and on saturday night when I was around to stay on the the weekend they sat me down and asked me what it was all doing there. After about five minutes or so or immense tensing of my muscles and thinking of what to say I eventually came out and explained how I had shoplifted all of my lady garments and that I was a crossdresser. They then told my mother when she came around to pick me up. I was thirteen at the time.

[emma_33tv]

Mt mum caught me many times from the age of 5-9 wearing or trying on her pantyhose. My parents would tease me.... I guess in t he hope of making me stop but I was never chastised over being caught. In later years my mother would often loan me pantyhose to wear with dress up outfits; Superman and Batman etc... and on one occasion when I was in my early 20's loaned me a pair of very sheer black pantyhose to wear to work as the heating in the offices had broken.

She never knew I full dressed or the extent of my dressing and sadly passed away 7 years ago at the very young age of 54. I am not sure if my dad knows but there are many signs and he is pretty switched on. I think he chooses not to deal with it or think about it? I don't think I would ever confide in my dad as he has very staunch opinions on sexuality and what others may consider not normal.... although in later life he is mellowing considerably.

I have often wondered if tables were turned would I confide in my mum and like to think I could and would.

X

[cindym5_04]

My mother wasn't supportive. I've posted in other threads how she would have rather it turned out that I was on drugs or doing something else, but CROSSDRESSING!! OH THE HORROR!!

I was told that I was sick, perverted, and needed help and that any of my friends or people I know that were accepting of it all all that there's something horribly wrong with them too.

[Rogina B]

I remember being in the bedroom watching my mother slip her stockings on and garter them.i enjoyed watching her dress and she had no problem with my curiosity.as she had arthritus in her fingers,i learned to do her back garters. I remember asking her what stockings felt like and she said that when she had a couple with runs i could try them on.and, on those "sick" days that she had me stay home from school,i learned a lot from her. She was always open minded and didn't share our thing with my father or sister. So, i sure can count myself as having a great mom and i miss her when i think of how open minded she was.

[Lorileah]

So does anyone know exactly why men can't wear skirts? I missed that memo. :)

[Lorileah]

I think my mom set me up from the beginning. She put a box of her underwear in my closet for storage (like I would not get in it and play with it...right) so I had a girdle and bras and panties in my adolecence. She dressed me completely for halloween right down to the panties.

She suppoerted me in my chioce of hobbies like dance (didn't last long enough there) and sports that were considered feminine (I played field hockey and volleyball at high levels).

And yet she acts like she does not like me dressed...and then sends my androgenous clothing and accessories

Best answer here would be she secretly wanted a girl and i am happy to fill the position.

Still waiting for the good answer why guys cant wear skirts. I have the legs :)

[Lainie]

Mom used to leave her shoes by the backdoor, and I often would slip them on when I took out the trash, when I was a young teen and our feet were the same size. She was amused, didn't mind.

I tried on some of her underwear in secret also, but never got caught. I don't know if she noticed--I tried to put things back exactly.

She loved me unconditionally, but I guess she would have been disappointed about me dressing fully en femme. I didn't actually do that until after she died, but I sometimes think it would have been nice to have spent some time with her as her daughter.

[iwearstockings]

mum found my stash which was then comprised of stuff i'd stolen when babysitting for family friends and actually a pair of her heels. She never mentioned it but did put the heels back in her wardrobe. Its strange really , its been unsaid between us but obviously she knows that at the age 14 at least I was a transvestite.

[Satrana]

My mom was physically sick when she found me in bed wearing a nightie. She nearly threw me out of the house then and there and never spoke about it ever again. A couple of years later my stash vanished but she never battered an eye and of course I was not going to question her what happened to it. I never trusted her again after that and stopped thinking of her as "mom" and saw her for who she really was.

[RachelDenise]

Mom found my stash once and left me a note that said to get rid of it. At least she didn't throw it away herself. To this day we've never talked and I still dress. I don't know if she ever found my things again after I moved them rather than throwing them away, but no more notes while I was living at home.

[DameErrant]

My Mom caught me a few times and immediately went and told my Dad. She was hinkier on the subject than he was, and he was totally unaccepting. But then, I was never good enough in any area. Took me quite some time to build a real relationship with my parents, and that required keeping some things to myself. Did they ever know the real me? Doubt it.

[Chari]

My mother forced me to start wearing my older sisters clothes when I was about 4 years old. I was always smaller than all the boys my age and would get teased everyday for being a "sissy". Mother demanded I learn to clean the house, wash/dry dishes, do laundry, ironing, and always had to be dressed as a girl when I did these chores. As hard as I tried I could never please my mother - other than being dressed as a girl. This ritual went on for many years, and I became her "sissy maid". Took many more years of therapy to face these problems. Maybe this is why I CD today.

[Carroll]

I told my mom, and basically she told me she'd love me no matter what, however she doesnt understand and she dont want to see

[Angie G]

My mom has been gone 16 years now and never knew if she had I think she would have been OK with it.:hugs:
Angie

[sherib]

My mother never knew but if she had I would have been thrown out of the house. Then my mother would have prayed for me because I was a pervert.

[DonnaT]

On occassion, I would put on one of my mom's bras and sneak around the downstairs, while she was home, to see if she'd catch me. I think I wanted her to catch me and make me dress.

And she did catch me. told me to take it off. Later, she told my dad. He tried to question me, but it was just about dinner time, and i wasn't about to open up with all my brothers hanging around.

It wasn't brought up again.

I had a pretty good stash in the mattress tick, which turned up missing while I was away at Army basic training. I can only hope it was my mother who found it, probably when she went to wash the tick. But no one ever mentioned the find.

A couple of years ago, I was showing my mom pictures on my camera. One was of a previous avatar.

She asked who the person was, and I eventually owned up to it.

It took her a while to believe me, and then asked why. So I told her the whole story. She still didn't own up to finding my stash back in the 70's. Probably put it out of her mind, if it was her that found it.

Anyway, since then she's given me dresses, shoes and jewelry, as if I was the daughter she never had. :)

[bgirl]

When I was a teen my mother asked me why I never brought a girl home to meet her. That was enough to make her think I was gay. She was relieved when I got married. I dont think she would have been supportive, but I think she would have accepted. I never got the chance to find out.
She did know my dad had found me in her clothes and make-up when I was 7 and never brought it up.

[LeotardMan]

I was lucky, my mom was very accepting. She caught me a few times and than she finally knew and was accepting of it. I never really flaunted it I did it and still many do it in the privacy of my home or do it discreetly outside so she was accepting of it.

Geoff

[ruthie801]

My mom caught me or should I say she set me up to catch me. I was 15 at the time and had been dressing in her things since I was 13 it started trying things on from the hamper and progressed to complete dress ups in her bedroom when she was out. Well one day she said she would be out all day, I of course thought I would be alone most of the day. I was wearing a old evening dress of hers with complete woman’s undergarments, as I was in her bathroom applying mascara she appeared in the door way. She said she knew I was into her things for awhile especially since her cosmetics was being used. She told me that I shouldn’t be doing this and that was the most scolding I received. She was more upset I didn't wear her old things in the bottom drawer. There was never anything but sheets there, She then left for the day of shopping she had intended well after she caught me there was dresses, bras, etc in that bottom drawer. wow mothers.

[JulieC]

My mother discovered my small stash of pantyhose (stupidly hidden underneath my mattress) when I was 13. She didn't confront me straight away. I just came home one day to find they were missing from my hiding spot. Sometime later, she sat me down in the den and had a fire and brimstone Bible thumping talk with me, or rather at me as I barely spoke a word.

This did not have the effect she desired. I simply figured out considerably better hiding spots. One of them was in the cold air return vent in my room. Remove the cover, put small bag of stuff in vent so it is out of sight looking into the vent, replace cover. This was such a good hiding spot that I found a pair of pantyhose in a bag in the vent some years after I moved out of the house.

The major downside of this was that this lecture by her tought me to repress the expression of my true self. It helped to increase the guilt factor I had in crossdressing. It had a role in a few purges. It had a role in me not talking to anyone else about my crossdressing until more than a decade later. It took two decades before I began...began...to accept myself.

My mother did the best she could in a trying situation for her. She used what tools she had to handle the situation. She just didn't know and didn't understand. In a day and age before the Internet, obtaining information about crossdressing was essentially impossible.

Today, things are different. If a child of mine crossdresses, my reaction will be entirely different than my mother's, for a variety of reasons.

[AKKaren]

My mom found out and totally went nuts. I was beaten, screamed at and thrown out of the house to live with my step family who found out from her. Happy memories!

[Carly D.]

My mum found my stash when I was 14 or so, and threw it all away when I was off at school. Maybe she hoped to nip it in the bud, but -- Epic Fail! She never said anything about it, but I've never felt like I could trust her with anything since. So, we've never talked about it.

They tell parents to be nosy with their teenagers, but in too many cases, it's not worth the loss of trust.

I could quote just about everyone here to a certain extent.. but my mom found my stash (such as it was) a few times and never talked to me about it.. I took that hint as her way of telling me to keep it to myself.. which I have.. it's these little things like this that keep me from telling anyone.. the idea that if I tell then the genie is out of the bottle and there is absolutely no going back.. no matter how I felt in the past at times thinking I could maybe tell someone now or now.. or now.. the truth is "now" seems way out of reach.. maybe never is closer than now ever will be.

[beenherelongtime]

my mother never found out although the first time i dressed for halloween she let me wear one of my sisters blouse and my moms jumper and panties and slip. none of their bras would fit as they were small busted and even though i was skinny by guy sizes, i was bigger than them. i digress, i do think if i told my mom, she would have been upset, as at that time i was her favorite, but she might have supported me as she was a great lady. my father was killed when i was 12, so at this time it was only my sisters and me.

But I would not have been able to dress fully as none of their clothes would fit and we could not afford to buy for me.

[Sara48]

Talk to her. Sounds as if she could be one of your best friends

[Lisa Golightly]

Oh she was ok about the crossdressing... Apart from bras... She had this thing about me wearing them... doesn't like it (odd really... anyway I have to now). My transsexuality is different... She really doesn't want to think about that... Vaginas and boyfriends are topics that are just not broached... *sigh*

[TSchapes]

My mom just passed away this last year. I'm 55 and I told her and dad when I was 28 years old. They were surprised, but very supportive.

Before I went to the Southern Comfort Conference this last year I had printed up some business cards with Tracy's picture on it. I told my mom about how I was going to the conference and showed her my pictures.

My 84 year old mom looked at them and said, "very cute, nice legs!" I told her I got those from her. That's how we rolled...

I think a lot of parents would be understanding if you "JUST TOLD THEM"!

-Tracy :love:

[Toni_Lynn]

The answer to this is short and not-so-sweet. Not one damn bit! She abused me emotionally over it and the scars are still there 40 years later.

I have often asked how a mother, who is to be a paragon of love when it comes to her child could be so cruel. The answer still escapes me.

I sound like a broken record on this, but I still have to say it - -my wife makes all the pain go away with her love acceptance

Huggles

Toni-Lynn

[Jess_cd32]

Mine doesn't know and I see no reason to tell her now at her age.
If she did, hmmm I think she'd be very shocked at first, then accepting.
She's always supported us no matter what, we got lucky getting our Mom:hugs:

[Jennifer Silverstone]

Up until I left home at the age of 18 the only female clothes I had access to were my mother's. She caught me a couple of times when I was about 13-14, and was mainly angry about me taking her clothes. She wasn't very happy about the CDindg either and mainnly resorted to a (mercifully short) outburst of shouting at me. Never spoke about it directly after that. I'm 39 now and she moved in with me seven years ago. During this time we have only indirectly discussed the subject of female clothes in terms of criticising what people wear on tv, on the street, general fashion etc. Also in terms of what suits her as the mail order catalogue in the house is in my name, so I have to order for her (and myself). I also buy a lot of second hand stuff on ebay so I have a large wardrobe of my own and she hasn't been in my room for years. Whenever Trans girls even get mentioned on television she yakes a mocking tone about them, considering them legitimate targets for ridicule. Much as I would dearly love to have her accept me for who I am, I think she comes from a generation (she is 71) for which this would be a step too far. I know others will have parents from that generation who reacted differently, but that's just how it is. The fear of rejection and ridicule is probably also the reason why I have remained resolutely single all my life, I know a lot of women are accepting an supportive, but it's impossible to tell beforehand, and I tend to take the safe option. I know that makes me a coward, but I have enough problems with self loathing (not CD related) to make this a minor issue.

[Tizabet]

My parents never knew while I was growing up (I didn't have much physical evidence to hide, because I was trying to deny it myself at the time). But I told them recently. It would be a little hard to hide a full transition eventually, so might as well lessen the shock, right? One they actually understood the extent of what I was saying, the first thing they did was apologized that they'd made me feel like I couldn't tell them earlier.

It was kind of weird, actually. I know that should have made me happy, but it also sort of pissed me off for at first. The realization that I could have been doing something about it decades earlier if my dad hadn't had such an aura of "do things the right way". I brought that up a few days later, and he explained it had all been pretend to try and keep me well behaved. He told me there were a lot of times when I was "in trouble" that he was having a really hard time sounding mad, because inside he was laughing his ass off, proud of what I'd done. Suddenly everything in my life made so much more sense...

Anyways, even though I wasn't expecting it, they've both turned out to be really accepting and supportive. I have to agree with Tracy. Give them a chance. You might be pleasantly surprised. <3

[Susieboots]

My mum was most definitely not supportive and caught me a number of times and even made me wear her skirt and boots, which I'd been "borrowing", for the day as well as trying to humiliate me by outing me to my favorite (glamorous) aunt by taking me shopping all of which is a story that I've told before.
My mum doesn't know that I still dress and I won't be telling her anytime soon either.

The funny thing is though, I'm sure my dad knew as he nearly caught me dressed once but it wasn't until he left my room after we'd chatted about something or other that I realised that there was a pair of stilettos still visible under my bed and he couldn't have not seen them, also when I was in the army my stash disappeared and the only person who could've done it was my dad but he never said anything to me or made a thing about it ever.
But my mum, NO.

[Kelli Michelle]

I was between jobs, having moved back from England (wife and kids still there) and stayed with mom and dad for a while. i started going out fully dressed for the first time, changing at a friends house or in my car. I took my clothes bag with me when I was out, of course. I told them i was working out at the gym , then going out. She got nosy and snooped in my closet one day when I was at work, got my bag out and went through the contents. She accosted me one night about what was in there. She was yelling, asking me if I was having an affair or worse was I a cder.

I calmed her down and explained it to her. For the next few days she was up and actually gave me a few purses and some jewelry. She was down some on it as well. After a few weeks she never spoke of it again. She just didn't want to know, sigh.

I lost her last year, and while she had her issues, I really do miss her, whether she approved or not. I learned a lot from her about a lot of things. One of which is standing up for myself.