Does not being able to find a mate/spouse scare you?

[tgirlinva]

I have a boyfriend who is accepting of my situation, in fact, he only dates TS. But I fear that one day he is going to leave me for another hotter, full-time, TS. I feel very lucky to have found him.... but I cannot help but imagine what the struggle would be to find someone who is understanding and who will see you for who you really are. I am a woman and I like men. Between us, I have posted on Craigslist to gather a generally interest of how many people are interested in special girls like us. In the casual encounter section, I can sleep with a different man every night if I wanted to. But the number of men who are looking for a long-term meaningful relationship is slim to none. That worries me. I worry that I will be alone, that I will go through this process without a significant other. My assessment is that most straight men would be okay to date/wed a post-op, but pre-op it's like forget it! What do you all think? What has been your experience?

[gagirl1]

yes, it scares me to death. but you've got to keep trying i suppose. it's difficult for anyone to find a meaningful relationship, but you've got to keep trying.

[erica12b]

yes[/SIZE][/SIZE]


i keep trying ,and feel like im banging my head against the wall

[Chloe84]

I would have to agree with you on the fact that there are alot of Chasers out there for a quick 1-2, but not alot of people that are willing to stick arround.
I think there are alot of hard things in our way to come. We have to start our lives as women so much later in life then that of GG's we miss out on so much. What saddens me the most is not the fact of being with out a partner, but the fact that i cant ever have a child. Growing up i always wanted a little girl. and to me, that ship has sailed. and as crummy as it is, all i have now is my dog :( he's a great dog, but thats not even close.

Ok, sorry if i made any ones problems worse, that was not my intentions.

[Sharon]

The prospects of remaining alone for the rest of my life upsets me sometimes, but I know one thing: I do not want to have a relationship with someone who wants to be with me because I am transsexual. I am holding out for the person who wants to be with me for who I am (not what I am) and am willing to do without if need be. In the meantime, I do my best not to give up.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

i'm with sharon..

i'm older but not "old" hehe....my expectations are low..but hopefully someday i'll find someone...being alone has many advantages tho

the other thing is as a guy, i'm not much good in a relationship anyway so what are my choices?

[briannad]

Yes. The thought of being alone scares me to no end. I am alone now but hope that changes to a positive, affirming relationship. :)

[tgirlinva]

I guess you're right. I am in a relationship right now and sometimes, it's hard b/c I feel like I'm not being treated the way I should be or that I feel important to him... but I keep hanging on for fear that I won't be able to find someone else.

[MJ]

I'm alone have no one special. i just don't know someday someone will come along. but it has to be a positive relationship ...like it will ever happen :flyingpig:

[Carol123]

same here still waiting for my prince

[Maggie Kay]

I'm still living with my spouse but as sisters and separate bedrooms. We act more like housemates than sisters. It is as though we have never been intimate together. We were intimate for twenty years now, we avert our eyes when we glimpse each other in some state of undress. It is incredibly lonely and I long for someone to touch again but I can't do anything toward that end without sinking the ship I am in. I don't want to see her alone or in financial straights too. So it is a pretty dismal existence. Am I scared, you betcha!

[RoxyRocket47]

It is definitely scary... I've been transitioning in university and have been full time since the middle of the fall semester. I often have men wanting to sleep with me, but never anyone who wants to actually date me or even tell me their last name before propositioning me for sex. It's incredibly frustrating. I tried personal profiles online even, but the only legitimate responses I have gotten have been from people twice and even three times my age (I choose not to count the one fellow who was looking for as he termed it a "long term mistress" as being legitimate).

But I think that most people looking for serious relationships are just as scared as we are (even if we have more reason to be) - I can't count how many times my GG friends have cried on my shoulder about guy troubles. Its just part of the human experience I suppose.

[Heatherx75]

Hi girls,
I've been alone a while and am actually ok with it. I'm not really seeking at this point because I'm actually sort of working on myself before I want to go out and try and do that. But I think that the point is to remember everyday to tell yourself, "I'm fabulous" and go over all the reasons why. Women get used by guys because they lack confidence in themselves and they let losers into their lives. I know, because I have a bad habit of doing this. My point is, confidence is what is atttractive and it comes from within. It's not telling yourself, "I have something that other people want" it's telling yourself,"I, [your name here], one woman, before the world, am absolutely fabulous all by myself."
Maybe that's a mantra we should all start repeating everyday. I could write a self-help book, do the talk show circuit, make a few bucks, hmmm.:heehee:

[tanyalynn51]

Im not sure if I care. I have never truly been interested in men (I was raped, and I wasnt dressed or anything at the time), so I dont see that changing. I guess that makes me a lesbian, but Im not sure how they would react either. I lived alone on the streets for a long time, so I guess I could handle it, as long as I had good friends.

[melissaK]

Yea, definitely afraid of being alone. A human trait.

How did Carl Sagan put it in the movie Contact:

Alien: "You're an interesting species, an interesting mix. You're capable of such beautiful dreams and such horrible nightmares. You feel so lost, so cut off, so alone, only you're not. See, in all our searching, the only thing we've found that makes the emptiness bearable is each other."

But, I have a great aunt who is 110, no joke. She lived alone since 1952 when her husband died. She filled her life with friends and family and never expressed that she minded her time alone. She is in a care facility the last three years, so she's not alone much.

Hugs,
'lissa