The Grass is always Greener

[jennydl]

Ok,I've been cd'ing since the age of 12.I have always wanted to be small,feminine and pretty.(still do!) I wanted to be a girl. In my twenties,I came to a crossroads,so to speak. I was severly depressed,all I could think about was ending this miserable existance.I would flip flop between going for full transition(srs) and suicide.So I decided,to heck with it,and started taking hormones.

After about 40 days or so on hrt,I was a different person. I was calm,relaxed
and thinking clearly.I realized that I didn't want to actually become a woman.
I only wanted the superficial aspects of womanhood.

I stopped hrt and was quite happy with my new sense of who I was.
"I AM A CROSSDRESSER" plain and simple.

In those early years I had no idea of what being a woman really meant.
All I could see was how much fun it was to wear all the pretty clothes.

Today I have a better understanding of what women go through and really admire them for their strength and courage,their ability to go through hell and come out smiling.Their compasionate and loving nature.
Truly God's greatest creation.

I still don't understand why I have the desire to crossdress but I feel like it has made me a better person because I have spent a lot of time looking within myself,paying more attention to those around me and how they feel
and how my actions affect others.

I would be lying if I said that I was completely comfortable in my own skin,
I'm not sure I ever will be,but I can say this,

I don't have what it takes to be a real woman and that's ok with me,
I AM A CROSSDRESSER and proud of it!
just don't tell anyone.lol

Jenny

[denese013]

Yes,the grass may be greener, but remember,it needs to be tended too also. Denese

[Dana]

1 Quit beating yourself up!

2. Quit being so hard on yourself!

3. By defintion of being male, you're already part female anyway!

4. Quit defining who and what you are by what some old ignorant, and un-educated gezzer of five thousand years ago determined was right and wrong!

5. Quit fighting the "Girl" inside of you!

[Jane 2156]

Well done Jenny thats a great post

[Melora]

Good for You hun.. You seem to have a happy story and Ending.. I Hope...
Katie/Melora

[JoAnne Wheeler]

Jenny, that descibes my life exactly ! I think that I shared every experience that you described. I am a cross dresser and PROUD of it !
Love,
JoAnne Wheeler

[Kate Simmons]

There is always a price to pay for something worthwhile.:)

[Karren H]

There is always a price to pay for something worthwhile.:)

True......... but if you wait long enought someone's bound to put it on sale!! :D

[Satrana]

Today I have a better understanding of what women go through and really admire them for their strength and courage,their ability to go through hell and come out smiling.Their compasionate and loving nature.
Truly God's greatest creation.

Sorry to be critical but that sounds like idol worshiping. Women are normal human beings with the same strengths and weaknesses you find in men - another group of normal human beings! The first step towards true understanding is to stop compartmentalizing women as being special.


I don't have what it takes to be a real woman
Yes you do. Everyone does. Once you can remove gender ideology out the word woman then you will understand why you crossdress.

[tricia_uktv]

Whether I have what it takes to be a real woman is, for now, by the by. It was only when I realised that in the short term I couldn't and therefore had to accept being what I am (I call myself a t-girl rather than cross-dresser, it helps). That opened me and I haven't stopped developing since that realisation. Of course I am getting better and becoming more like a real woman, but that still doesn't matter. I am happy with who I am. Good luck!

[simonestrt]

Enjoy your dressing, the more you dress the better you you will become trying diferant outfits and make-up.

[Annaliese]

It is nice to be content and be happy with how you are. I have found that spot also some never do.

Good luck love and hugs Annaliese.

[StevieTV]

It's 90% attitude, 10% luck. You're on a journey many of us would like to take. Be happy and glad you've come this far.

[docrobbysherry]

There is always a price to pay for something worthwhile.:)

Usually, when u don't know the price of something, and they say," Go ahead. Try it out. See if u like it. Then, will talk about the price". :D

I try it, I like it. Then, find out I can't afford it!! :eek:

I hope CDing doesn't work out that way for me!!:brolleyes:

[beenherelongtime]

good post, you are an honest, insightful person, good luck to you