Is Crossdressing An Emotional Need

[Dana]

Any and all sexuallity factored out of the equation?

Do you have a "need" to experience and express "feminality?" That is to say, if sex wasn't a factor of the equation, would you still need get "girly"

[beam47]

what sex???? i'm allowed to dress twice a week , and she is not interested in sex when i'm dressed

[satin_luva]

Not a need for me but, then. But it would still be fun.

[Dana]

What I'm asking, is that is it important for your emotional "well being" to express and getting "girly/crossdress.

[Jane 2156]

The 'sexual' feelings stopped ages ago. Now I dress because, yes it does make feel better and more relaxed and I wish I could shed the outer male skin and be what I feel is me. In my personal situation I would say it is a big factor in keeping my stress levels down.

[marny]

allowed!!! ????? OUCH!!

[Deborah Jane]

I like to "get girly" because it just makes me feel better emotionally sometimes.
I can go for long periods without the need to dress, but i,ve found when the need arises it is just better to go with it and enjoy being Debs.

[Kelsy]

Yes Dana,

For me The need to dress is psycological and emotional. I do not experience a sexual turn on. Dressing helps eleviate the internal distress I feel being born male and my need to be identify as female!

Kelsy

[Rogina B]

I need to feel a little girly everyday and a lot girly as often as i have time for. When i don't get satisfied,i get bitchy..just the way i am,everyone is different.

[Melora]

Yes!!

[Carroll]

yes. It mellows me out, makes me feel better about myself. I also think it has a soothing effect on any tension in the house including the kids. That one of the advantages of being out to the family, I don't have to wait or get permission to dress.

[Nadia-Maria]

Now I NEED to be femme, and I need it at least A THIRD of all of my time. :battingeyelashes:

This need has clearly nothing to do with sex. However, whether male or female, I am a sexual being so that I need sex at times, just such as the need of eating for instance. I don't believe I need more sex as a female being than as a male being. It is more or less the same, and ever less important with aging.

I must confess that when I dress up I often feel a sexual turn on as soon as I look at me femme, but IT FADES VERY QUICKLY as I enjoy at the same moment the increasing (emotional) satisfaction of being a lady, and this emotional happyness far outcomes any sexual feeling in the course of a few minutes, so that I soon forget the preceding sexual urge.

What I believe to be important as for the connection between sex and CDing is the following comment :
It was not at all the same balance for me, say 30 years ago. The turn on when dressing up was then so strong that as a rule I could not resist it, and hence was not so easily able to enjoy my feminity, if at all. So that, in that era, I thought wrongly I was rather a fetishist. :eek: :o
But, I believe now it might be a matter of level of sexual excitation reached (testosterone).

Above a certain level of sexual urges I feel it is no more possible to understand what happens in herself : you just have to have sex ! But, below this level, you keep a better control and are able to better analyse all your feelings. It becomes then easy to make the very part of sex and the very part of enjoying her feminity. :battingeyelashes:

Of course I don't claim this explanation - involving the level of testosterone - is valid for every CDer. But, it might account for quite a few of the TGirls I know, including myself.

For instance it will probably not account for Doc's (as Sherry). I guess it might also depend on the sexual history of the CDer throughout her life.

It will neither account, I guess, for the CDers having felt the need, in their youth, to develop an androgynous look, or for those who have been acting very early in life as obvious transvestites and TGirls going outside. :2c:

I wellcome constructive comments about all that. :love:

[BobbiJ]

Any and all sexuallity factored out of the equation?

Do you have a "need" to experience and express "feminality?" That is to say, if sex wasn't a factor of the equation, would you still need get "girly"

For me, sex isn't part of the equation, it's entirely emotional, and having an outlet to express femininity.

Why would you think cross-dressing has to be about sex?

[Kate Simmons]

It used to be. Since I've now balanced and integrated my feelings, it's now entirely optional.:)

[Kate's at home]

I'm with Nadia-Maria. It's ultimately about identity, perception, one's psychology, and, I suppose, soul energy. Feminine energy is very different than masculine energy, obviously. And we channel this female energy thru us, consciously or not, dressed or not. The "noise" that has been discussed here recently. I think the "pink fog" is the expression of this focused as direct experience, in and thru us. In these moments, we are feminine. So yea, it's really about who we are, being female. We give form to that energy within us. The doing is just a way to experience being feminine more directly. And this is not about sex, tho I suspect the threads here about confusion and sex w/ males grows out of this, for some, by extension. And yes, the sexual factor decreases with age. It's all a journey!

Kate

[Shari]

For me, it was always about sex. The rush I felt and still do was the main reason for dressing.
Since coming out to my wife about a year ago and her acceptance of Shari, I do feel as though there is an emotional change in me. My wife has seen it and often commented how much I have mellowed and how much more sensitive I seem to have become. I don't feel I have to mask these feelings any longer and it makes me feel so free. My inhibitions have been lessened and I've found an inner peace.
Sex is still at the top of the list, but I find myself lingering longer in my clothes, just enjoying the softness and femininity it gives me. I just adore passing by a mirror and looking at the change. It's just such a warm and wonderful feeling for me. It's especially fulfilling during these long winter months.
To answer your question, yes, it has come to the point to where it's providing an emotional need as well as the physical.

[CDPAUL]

Just talking to wife about this last night. We have had an increase in sexual activity since i have been more open with her about dressing. Dressing is not a sexual thing for me i do it because i enjoy it and it helps me to relax and it just feels good. I believe the increased sexual activity is related to just not being under as much stress like i was when i had to keep everything a secret

[Ann D Bluebird]

I think the quick answer to this one is probabley "yes" for all of us .... one way or another....The question as to WHICH emotional need is being expressed/responded to, at any particular time, is the more complicated one.
Sometimes I may dress out of sadness, sometimes for joy...sometimes for love of the feminiine world, sometimes for dismay at the masculine, with a sense of guilt (for not being having been "fab") sometimes....well, the list goes on.

It is never a matter of cold and calculated rationality, that's for sure!! :2c:

[JoAnne Wheeler]

Absolutely - the older you get, the overwhelming emotional need to CD becomes the driving force to "be feminine"
Love,
JoAnne Wheeler

[TGMarla]

Yes, I have an emotional need to dress en femme. There are days when I feel an urgency to dress, too. And on such days, when I finally am able to dress, there is a great amount of relief I feel when I'm finally all decked out in girl stuff. Then I can breath a sigh of relief and kick back and just enjoy the moment.

[Satrana]

Yes of course. Sexuality is a byproduct of being a heterosexual male. I would not be normal if I did not have a sexual response to the desirable woman who appears in my mirror. But that is not the reason why I and most other Cds do what we do. After all most started before the onset of puberty.

Crossdressing is just a physical representation of what we feel inside. Wanting to feel pretty is a normal human emotion which is drilled out of boys. CDs are males who blow a raspberry at male conditioning. We made up our own rules based on what we felt was right.

[StaceyJane]

Yes, I do have a strong need to express myself as a female. I really don't feel it's sexual just who I am.

[Sarah...]

I think so. The longer I have to dress in mans' clothes the more uptight I get. I get snappy and irritable. And then I realise I'm being a difficult, stroppy, middle-aged person of indeterminate gender and apologise where necessary.

Or I get the right clothes on and then apologise where necessary.

That's probably why my darling SO much prefers the complete Sarah around :D Which is why we're doing something about abandoning this whole male thing. It's nothing but trouble for us.:heehee:

Sarah...

[Shelly Preston]

I am sure dressing is an emotional need

Even this can have may layers

This could simply feeling good about ourselves or it can get to the point where we feel we are going crazy if we don't get the opportunity to dress

It can also help on a stress level as it seems to have a relaxing effect on a lot of us

[Tomara]

Yes. For me dressing en fem helps me to be more calm and more in touch with myself.
Tomara

[Nicki B]

Is Crossdressing An Emotional Need
.
Yes.

[Katrina red nails]

I have a definite need but it is not a sexual one. Sex with wife is out of question when dressed and i don't masturbate either. It just makes me feel relaxed, comfortable, stress-free, happy and content.

[the femm side of me]

When I get dressed I am so comfortable and at peace I allow the emotions to take over and sometimes sex happens and sometimes it doesn’t. I don’t dress for sex, sex is only a byproduct. I love the sense of peace that comes over me when dressed I think that because I am at peace I enjoy the sex so much more. I dress for the peace but the sex is good too…:o

[Christine Hanes]

I have to say that dressing fills a number of emotional needs, and yes sometimes it is sexual. The simple fact is that it relaxes me, allows me to escape my male self, and shed the stress of my male life.

Over the years I have seen a reduction in the sexual nature of it like a lot of the other girls. Which I think has allowed me to explore the other emotional benefits of dressing. Some people drink to much when they get home from work to deal with stress, :drink:, I wear panties, seems like a better choice.

[ColleenPDX]

I know that dressing for me does several things. It reduces my stress level, it unleashes my creativity, and it can be very sexy at times.

[immike]

Any and all sexuallity factored out of the equation?

Do you have a "need" to experience and express "feminality?" That is to say, if sex wasn't a factor of the equation, would you still need get "girly"
I feel "girly",at a moments notice,when I get home.I lock all the doors&close the drapes
and bring out my stash&change into pantyhose&skirt/w a white silky blouse&black heels

[darla_g]

I don't know about the wording here. Emotional need almost sounds like a compulsion which dressing is NOT for me. I mean i really like doing it, but can i function if i don't feel like it or don't get an opportunity. Absolutely.

Sex as part of the equation is somewhat optional. I know when i first started there was a strong sense of arousal, which now that it is not such a novelty is mostly not present. Now its about doing the best portrayal of a woman that i can.

[joann426]

yes iagree with marla it has a spot in my life that i need to dress so i can get rid of the stress in this horiable world i feel good about my self in femme

[Karren H]

Sex has never really been a factor..... Hell I can't remember what sex is... was....

[Jilmac]

The 'sexual' feelings stopped ages ago. Now I dress because, yes it does make feel better and more relaxed and I wish I could shed the outer male skin and be what I feel is me. In my personal situation I would say it is a big factor in keeping my stress levels down.

I totally agree, I haven't had any sort of a sexual turn on from dressing since my late teens. At this point in my life I have finally accepted myself as a crossdresser and couldn't be any happier. Dressing puts me into a state of mellowness that I can't achieve any other way.

[charlie]

Hello Dana!
It used to be that I would get so excited by the girl in the mirror that I got sexual gratification every time that I dressed. Now it is more just a satisfaction with my looks......sexy girl, nice outfit, great shoes, good hair. Dressing is not sexual at all, just feeling good!

[Dragster]

I seem to be an exception here. Dressing was sexual for me when I started at about 10 or 12, and still is over 50 years later. I can't remember when I last dressed without finishing the job (so to speak) except for the quickies, the snatched moments to try something on when there's only 10 or 20 minutes oportunity of having the house to myself.

Tony

[Mollyanne]

What I'm asking, is that is it important for your emotional "well being" to express and getting "girly/crossdress.

YOU BETCHA!!!!!!!

:love: MOLLYANNE

[docrobbysherry]

Eventually, sex will HAVE to exit the equasion for me! Then, I'll find out for sure!:)


I think the quick answer to this one is probabley "yes" for all of us .... one way or another....The question as to WHICH emotional need is being expressed/responded to, at any particular time, is the more complicated one.
Sometimes I may dress out of sadness, sometimes for joy...sometimes for love of the feminiine world, sometimes for dismay at the masculine, with a sense of guilt (for not being having been "fab") sometimes....well, the list goes on.

It is never a matter of cold and calculated rationality, that's for sure!! :2c:

WOW! That's beautiful Judith! I think I can relate to most everything u said.
Except the last line! Sometimes I dress only after rationally deciding to!:D

[Samantha B L]

For me it's a big pleasure in all respects and I never have been able to give it up for very long. I would do it 24/7 IF circumstnces allowed for it. I am not really passable and I'm a little bit short and dumpy. In fact,when I'm enfem I look like the good witch's clumsy overweight assistant who couldn't get the ballet steps right. I'm happy that way. I think the whole thing is somehow hereditary and it's probably something to do with brain fuction or hormones. There are far worse things nature could have decided to do to us besides make us crossdressers.

[paulaN]

Yes the girly things that I do I need to do them. Well want to really bad. It seems to help me stay balanced.

[Jenniferpl]

These days it is more about being girly than about sex. We have had sex in all kinds of modes. I think my wifes enjoys having Jennifer in the bedroom more than she wants to admit to.

During the journey I have noticed the relaxation and calmness that comes over me while being feminine.