dressing at home

[penelope fletcher]

hi there,i hope that this is the right place to put this thread :confused: but here goes? can anyone tell me what i should do now?,the question is that my wife knows about my dressing,doesn't approve, but does let me wear panties every day.also if i am away from home then i can wear a nightie,but not allowed to dress in the house. how can i resolve this problem? or should i just be grateful for what i have got at the moment.
thanks penny xxxx

[ronna]

Penelope, no one can tell you what you should do. You will have to handle your own situation because like the rest of us, it gets complicated, doesn't it?

[penelope fletcher]

yeah, i know your right. but sometimes it helps to get a different light on the situation,i know that what every is said that i will have to make that big decision my-self,but thanks any way.
penny xxxx ;)

[Priscilla1018]

Hi Penelope,

Pretty name.My wife knows that I am a CD and I do wear panties every day.I don't dress fully and I don't go out.I have grown my full beard back at my wifes request and I like things the way they are.It does'nt make me any less me,I am still Priscilla.My wifes mother who is 91 and blind in one eye lives with us and I'm sure seeing me fully dressed in makeup would lead to cardiac arrest for sure.I guess what I'm trying to say is,find your level of comfort and take it slow,things may change when your wife does'nt feel threatened by your Penelope side.

[Bernadina]

Does she ever wear pants instead of skirts and dresses?

Why not an agreement that while you don't mind her dressing as a man, you should be able to dress as a woman.

[penelope fletcher]

thank you.

I guess what I'm trying to say is,find your level of comfort and take it slow,things may change when your wife does'nt feel threatened by your Penelope side.
you have a point and it has taken us about 10yrs to come this far :) so i guess taken it slow is the way.
penny xxxx

[axdressa]

I cant really say anything here as my last three partners have all known about my crossdressing the first said that she didnt mind .. as lon as she didnt see me dressed..... the second partner said i could only do it when she was there....... and the partner i am with now lets me dress when ever i want to .. she helps me with the makeup... and we go shopping together to buy clothes ....i suppose i am trying to say that it just takes time ...... just hang in there hun ....(has she ever seen you dressed up) she might like it ..... i am NOT telling you to get dressed up and flaunt yourself infront of her ... as this would be to much of a shock to her ....slowly is the best way
hugz n kisses paula xxx

[penelope fletcher]

hi the great you wear pants debate .....i have tried that one, in short didn't work,she said that pants are practicle, where as me wearing a dress isn't,as i pointed out that a dress is more comfitable and cooler in hot weather,she replyed, "and what about the bra, what purpose does that serve seeing as you don't have any breast's,?" at that point i have to concede i don't have an answer.

she has seen me wearing a skirt or dress two or three times, when i have mail ordered things and tried them on to see if they fit ok, she has been there watching me, but she says she doesn't like it. i.e. me wearing the said items,
as for seeing me in make up i don't think that would work either,
i did suggest that we went to a fancy dress do, but she declined saying that i would go as a women (she of course was right)so that didn't happen.
thanks for all your thoughts and advice it is helping.
penny xxxx :)

[Tristen Cox]

"and what about the bra, what purpose does that serve seeing as you don't have any breast's,?" at that point i have to concede i don't have an answer.

There are some very realistic breast forms out there. They attach and in some cases stick so well you won't need to wear a bra. But they do fill one up and make you feel the 'weight' and form giving you that girlie image. Of course she may not go for that either, but it would provide a purpose.

[penelope fletcher]

you are so right but i have to agree i don't think that she would go for that.the difference is that i wear a bra because i like the feel of it , she because she has to and can see no reason why i would want to wear some thing that she says is purly functional :)
penny xxxx

[crispy]

so many questions when you decide to post on this forum ......

we've all been there.

I suggest you read the thousands of threads in order to put your situation into perspective. Your kind of questions have been considered by nearly every married FtM CD on this forum.

The fact is there are no easy answers, but reading this forum will give you some confidence by learning that you are not alone, and that some others (the lucky ones) have actually found a degree of acceptance from their SOs.

............. oh, and axdressa is a very lucky girl ....

good luck.

[AbbyLee]

Like others have intimated, we for the most part have been there. Each situation is unique and complex. Sometimes, giving your wife alot of loving sincere can help. Also, plenty of time without pressing the issue. Finally, my wife and I reached a comprise where I will not dress when she is at home. I hope in the not too distant future to ease into dressing when she is at home.

AbbyLee :)

[Rachel_740]

Penny,

I think your only hope is patience with you wife. If you stick to what see allows, if she doesn't mind too much, try your new clothes on when she's 'not too far away', but never in her face so she has no choice but to see you. With any luck, over the years (or if you're really lucky, months) she will come to see that it is part of you and start to allow you more freedom. In the mean time, you can still pick your moments when she's at Safeway or clothes shopping.

That's my advice, for what it's worth from someone with 2 failed marriages (neither due to my dressing - first wife found out about my dressing about a year ago and second about xmas last year, after we divorced).

Anne

[MichelleGray502]

penny lov,
like everyone else had said it will all come in time my advice is every once in a while ask her if she would like to see penny dressed and if she is alright' with you wearing knickers the bra, stockings and outer clothes will come after that. good luck and keep us posted.

just for the record penny I am english but now living in canada

[Bernadina]

hi the great you wear pants debate .....i have tried that one, in short didn't work,she said that pants are practicle, where as me wearing a dress isn't,as i pointed out that a dress is more comfitable and cooler in hot weather,she replyed, "and what about the bra, what purpose does that serve seeing as you don't have any breast's,?" at that point i have to concede i don't have an answer.

snip..

Well at least you gave it a shot. I didn't know if it would work or not. My wife has been totally accepting since we first started dating so I haven't had to address the problem.

(However, some one on this forum has taken great offence to the suggestion and given me a bad rep vote with a rather nasty comment. :confused: )

[penelope fletcher]

hi i am sorry to read that some one has taken offence Dina, :hugs: but i do appricate all the advice that comes my way.
some of it i have tried, some i wouldn't ever have thought of,and may some that i may never take on board so to speak. but all of it greatly recieved,so thanks to every one for their contributions,
i will be giving a lot of thought and time over this, and shall of course remmember that my wifes feelings must be respected too.
thanks penny xxxx

[Deanna2]

'Why not an agreement that while you don't mind her dressing as a man, you should be able to dress as a woman'.

Nice try Berndina, but I don't think that that is way that life works.

Luvya

[Bernadina]

'Why not an agreement that while you don't mind her dressing as a man, you should be able to dress as a woman'.

Nice try Berndina, but I don't think that that is way that life works.

Luvya

Maybe not but it doesn't hurt to try, does it?

[ronna]

There used to be an old saying about "I guess I know who wears the pants in this family," about the guy thing. I have adapted a variation of that motto that I like very well and suits me perfectly: "I guess I know who wears the pantyhose in this family." It's me!