Let sleeping dogs lie....

[Jess_cd32]

Thats what a pic says my SO just bought saturday. A few hours later I told her there's one sleeping dog we need to wake up and talk about.
I asked her, do you remember that time I dressed up in your stuff, she said don't tell me, you liked it!!!

I figured it would lead to some yelling at first, it was more like a sorrowful look on her face as I was telling her about me and cd-ing, and doing it since the age of 7 y/o.
She seemed very understanding and non judgemental during the conversation, then says I can't be with someone that cd's, I'm sorry I just can't.

So we'll see were it goes from here, we have been together a VERY long time and been thru a lot together, I never thought this would cause it to end. I'm trying to get her to read just a bit at least on this but she wants nothing to do with it. I'll give her some time and hopefully she'll start asking more about it, but I'm not getting to optomistic yet, wish us luck. The last thing I want is to cause her any pain, she's been thru enough in her lifetime.

[docrobbysherry]

I hope it all works out well, in the long run, for u!:hugs:

[Satrana]

I wish you luck but your SO having such a closed mind from the outset is not a good sign at all. Your best bet at breaking through her walls is to talk about your emotions and needs to express femininity and maybe link what you do to tomboy behavior. The more technical and rational you make the discussion, the less likely she will listen. Also you must get her to discuss her emotions why she cannot be with a CD so you can better understand where she is coming from.

[Christine1953]

Jess: I'm so sorry ti hear about you going thur this. I know what your going thru. I told mu so a year ago and said i would stop. Weel that was okay for 6 months and i could't stop. Then a couple of weeks ago i tolded her again and she blew up at me. She calmed down and i tolded her that it was just a panthose thing adn nothing more. Things are okay no, but i will never be able to come out and it's been weeks since i've been able to wear anything. Talking about depressing. I hope your so will calm down and you can smooth things over. Good luck

[MJ]

i'm sorry your going through this i wish you well good luck to you both and lots of hugs ..:hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

[Deborah Jane]

Hiya Jess, i,m sorry to hear what you,re going through now sis, but i think you,ve done the right thing bringing it into the open.
Give your SO time to come to terms with you,ve told her, let her work things out in her head first and then see where you can both go from here.
At the moment she,s probably still in shock from the revalation of what you said, give her time to get used to the idea and be prepared for every question imaginable from her.
It,ll take time Jess, but if you are totally honest with her throughout the process hopefully yo,ll both come through this ok together and maybe over time your relationship will even strengthen from all this.

Good luck sis., i wish you both well and hope things turn out good in the end for both of you :hugs:

[JoAnne Wheeler]

JESS - sorry to hear what happened - but it is a lot better to find out before marriage than after - I doubt that she will change and we all know that we CAN'T CHANGE NO MATTER HOW HARD WE TRY - so you will have to decide based on thes facts
Love,
JoAnne Wheeler

[stephaniesacd]

I'm sorry to hear about what a tough spot you're in Jess. I hope everything works out well for you both. Maybe, with a little time to think it through, she'll realize she's already been with a cd.....you. I'd give her some time and not push it too much. Best wishes dear.

[tanya1976]

Good luck. I hope it all works out for you.:hugs:

[deja true]

...She seemed very understanding and non judgemental during the conversation, then says I can't be with someone that cd's, I'm sorry I just can't.



At this phrase I thought the exact same thing that Katie and Steph said....that she's already been with a man that cross dresses...for years!

Maybe she got the immmediate impression that you were asking to do it around her...that would be scary as part of that first revelation.

I think she's prolly got that damn Springer notion of cross-dressers in her head and just couldn't shake it...

That's unfortunate...and it's gonna take a lot of sensitive talk and maybe some examples of decent regular guys who do it to disabuse her of that awful picture.... I hope you can get her to talk about it...

...and whatever you do, tell her the truth. Don't tell her you can just let it go...you know from testimony here that you can't...not any more than she would be able to pass up a shoe sale!

Good luck, Jess...

[Sheila]

Jess, I have PMD you hun :hugs:

[Celeste]

That took some guts and I admire for you that.Maybe she will eventually see that the alternative would have been living with someone who was not completely honest with her.What you did speaks volumes about you.

[Alice B]

That was one tough decision you made, but the proper one. The fact that she did not blow up makes me think that things may work out in the long run. Be patient and good luck.

[Samantha B L]

Hi Jess, I'm real sorry to hear about what happened and I hope things will turn out OK. And,of course,it took a lot of guts to tell her in the first place.


:hugs:

[Jess_cd32]

Thanks everyone for your kind words, advice and offers of help, that also speaks a lot about you all as well and I appreciate that a lot:thumbsup:
Yes I've been a member here long enough and read enough to know what could happen telling your SO and was ready for the consequences either way, it was finally time to do it and I have no regrets.

When she started to cry over the conversation that was like a knife in my heart, she's been thru so much pain over the years and I don't want to be the one that makes her hurt again. I'd rather take that hurt on myself as I'm used to it in this point in my life, most of us can relate to that.

We are getting along as good as before like nothing ever happened, but that's untill the subject arises again. I did tell her this is a part of me I can't and won't deny any longer, so we can have fun with it, it can make us miserable or it can split us up.

I made it clear also I have no intention of trying to include this in our sex life for those that wondered, that would be a certain suicide. Although we aren't legally married, you might as well say we are, we've been together longer than 80% of couples here.
Thats another issue thats a sore spot with my SO, I'm just deathly afraid of legal marriage for some reason, like cd-ing I don't know why but thats another story.

I am going to take it slow, not push it and we'll see were it goes over the next few weeks. From her feelings she described about cd-ing its going to take a lot on her part if she does accept it. I made it clear I respect her feelings and decisions whatever they may be. If worse does comes to worse I expect her to be my best friend still forever and would help her in anyway I could. We have two pets together that are like our kids to us so we are tied together regardless as neither of us is going to give up time spent with them.

Ending on a humorous note (thats me to those that know me)
I told her last night and laughed that now when we argue she'll have a new word besides jackass to call me, now she can yell - crossdresser!!!:heehee:, she said no I don't think so, I give her less than two weeks, I know her to well:)

I am glad its finally out now at least, its like being released from a prison.
I just hope we can work thru it. TY again everyone for your support, your the best:thumbsup:

[StephanieT]

Jess, I am happy to hear things are better. On the marriage side, in many states you are legally married. Common law marriage is recognized in many states. If common law marriage is recognized in your state, you could make your SO happy with the piece of paper.

[Tasha McIntyre]

Hey Jess, wow, had to read your posts several times to take it all in. So many words can describe the feeling of coming out to those closest to us, from torturous to flooding relief and everything in between. I came out to my less than ecstatic wife about 4 months ago, so I am kind of aware of what's going on with you, as can countless others here no doubt.

Good luck with all of this, great use of humour to help ice break the situation....hope it all goes well.