Rant - discrimination and why one should be very, very careful

[RoxyRocket47]

I originally meant this to be a short commentary in another thread, but decided to move it to its own post before an Admin yelled at me for thread-hijacking (see, we're self-policing sometimes!). It concerns harassment and the reaction of law enforcement.

This is about to start sounding like a rant... you have been warned... sorry, but this issue is one of the few things that pushes my rant button.

I don't know if its as bad out there as it is here, but I've been harassed daily since beginning my transition (hearing things like "Get out of our f---ing town you f---ing transvestite wh--e!" yelled at me from across a parking lot is normal... and that is an actual quote a fellow yelled at me in a crowded Burger King parking lot... nobody acted as if he'd done anything wrong... in fact, all eyes were on me). I've also received threatening phone calls (on two separate occassions, the same person called and threatened to rape me. The police refused to do anything because they did not consider the words "Do you want me to pee in your mouth or your a-s when I rape you" to be harsh language, and therefore did not classify the phone calls as being worthy of police attention. They told me that they would only do something if he used the F word in his threat AND I could produce a recording of the phone call) and have had someone shoot the window out of my car on one occasion (I kept that police report for my scrapbook, because its the only time the police ever even bothered to make a report... but that was probably because they are required to report gun-fire due to our proximity to a National Guard armory). All of that has occurred off-campus in the small town I'm living in. That town's police department did nothing and generally mistreated me... I was even harassed by two on-duty officers when I stopped by the local Waffle House (they called me several disparaging names and threatened to arrest me if they saw me wearing a skirt again... this was after I was full time, on HRT, and had a carry-letter).

The harassment has slowed down now though since I talked to a friend of mine who works for the campus police department. I actually got a phone call from the town attorney of the university's municipality (not the town I was staying in) apologizing for how the other town's police had been treating me - she actually said that both she and the university's police chief were appalled after hearing about it and investigating the situation. They also told me to in the future call the university police even though I live in the next town, as they said that they can claim jurisdiction by virtue of my being a student. I am under the impression that this has caused more to go on behind the scenes, as a police LT called me and interviewed me not long after.

So, rant's over... just be careful out there girls (and boys lest I forget our FtM brothers)... never go anywhere alone at night, keep mace or something better (I keep a maximum legal length serrated pocket knife in my purse as well as mace) on you at all times, and above all else try not to put yourself in situations where ignorant savages are provided with opportunity.

Oh, and before you get upset about what happened to me, remember that I live only twenty minutes away from where Sean Kennedy was murdered for being gay, and the state only sentenced the murderer to three lousy years! So I've got it easy in comparison since I have a liberal university sheltering me for the most part.

- Roxy, who as a criminologist aspiring to work in law enforcement is sickened by the way law enforcement treats us and thus has her rant button pushed anytime it comes up.

[Darlene Rochelle]

You live in a VERY conservative area. I do too,so we ALL have to be careful as to where we go,and what we do.:2c:

[Melissa A.]

You have my sympathy, Roxie. My heart goes out to you. I think some of us who live in areas where that would never happen sometimes forget that there is still plenty of injustice, and danger, out there. There is still plenty of work to be done, and not just legal and political. Your story about the fast-food parking lot was key. If that happened here, more eyes would be on the idiot making a fool of himself by screaming his stupidity at an innocent person. But as long as morons like that are protected by local social norms, I'm afraid not much will change, in some areas. I've been pulled over by police(who behaved proffesionally, for the most part), corrected people who think they're being clever and demeaning by calling me "sir", and do all of my shopping and errands without any difficulties, really. A carry letter is something I've never given alot of thought, though my therapist says she will write it, if I really want. Truth is, I just havent needed it. I'm not writing all of this to brag, I'm sorry if it seems so. There was a time when this area was like yours, when it came to trans people, so I guess I'm trying to give you some hope. Change comes more slowly in some places than others, but often takes on a life of it's own, once started. I mean, It's not like I live in NYC. I'm 3 hours north, in a largely rural area, interspaced between suburbs, small towns, and a couple of medium-sized cities. We have our share of hillbillies, rednecks, and intolerant people. Although I'm pretty sure the organised religion influence is far less here than it is there. I think I happen to be transitioning in a pretty good time, but that even just 10 years ago, it would have been far more difficult than it is now.

I understand your fear and concern. And you have more than a right to rant!! You do have some allies, and that's a good thing. You also have alot of courage, being where you are. I salute you for that. Reaction to ignorance varies, of course, But if you don't let 'em know they're getting to you, or use humor instead of anger in response, I've found that tends to ruin their fun. Violence, of course, is another matter completely. I hope the culture of the local authorities changes, over time. God knows, there's a need for it. you are a citizen and are worthy of protection, and respect. You seem to be taking the right steps, and using the resources available to you, at this time. I sincerely hope things get better. I wish you all the strength and luck in the world, sister. And above all, be careful and safe.

Hugs,

Melissa :)

[tgirlinva]

First of all, I am by no means condoning the other persons' actions or intolerance. I think a lot of it stems from ignorance and conservatism that is groundless.

But it's a hard situation. Transsexualism is still very taboo in a lot of communities. Many members of the LGBT community move from small, narrow-minded towns to more liberal ones in order to seek security and shelter.

Have you considered moving? I mean, I'm not saying that you should move or interrupt attending the institution of your choosing for those sad people, but is it really worth your safety and well-being? I know I would've moved. But it is people like you who pave the way to a lot of the positive recognition that we get. So... hang in there and be safe.

[Valerie]

As Tvirlinga just noted, you are paying the price of being a pioneer in your region. Kudos for your courage and I send you all best wishes.

I saw recently "Milk" and I was impressed by how well it represented the very large change that has taken place in many places in the US and abroad. There is hope! But do take care. If you want to rant, we will listen with understanding, since you are more than right.

In supportive sisterhood, :hugs:

Valerie

P.S. By the way, neat avatar!

[RoxyRocket47]

Actually, I am planning on moving as soon as I get my degree in either May or July. I just don't know where I'm moving to yet... I need to find a state where I can get hired for a job in my field (Criminal Justice / Sociology)... not an easy task.

[Zenith]

I was thinking about your situation...and getting quite upset for you...:sad:...two on duty officers calling you names and threatening to arrest you for wearing a skirt? For heaven's sake hope it happens again and get witnesses or recording. Then sue the ^%$#@! out of the police department. Money is all some people understand. With a good lawyer you should be able to get an out of court settlement that would easily pay for top notch work from Marci Bowers...

[tgirlinva]

I was thinking about your situation...and getting quite upset for you...:sad:...two on duty officers calling you names and threatening to arrest you for wearing a skirt? For heaven's sake hope it happens again and get witnesses or recording. Then sue the ^%$#@! out of the police department. Money is all some people understand. With a good lawyer you should be able to get an out of court settlement that would easily pay for top notch work from Marci Bowers...

While it is defamatory, I am not sure whether the thread starter has any legal grounds to sue the police department. It may very well be true that the police did not have any evidence that an eminent problem was to occur. But regardless, their saying would be protected under the first amendment's freedom of speech clause.

[Zenith]

If on duty they represent the department in an official capacity...and I doubt derogitory name calling is free speech...threatening to arrest for wearing a skirt is harassment...would you want to live where this behavior is acceptable and not grounds for action?

[Kimberley]

I agree. A case here in Ontario against one of our more nefarious police forces put every cop in the province on waivers. Believe me, they treat us with kid gloves now. A human rights complaint can go a long way and the last thing the police want is a law suit backed up by a human rights decision.

I know the situation isnt the same there but it might have some merit for you.

:hugs:
Kimmie

[crossdrezzer1]

sounds like a crappy back hick town,,, we are a big community here and if they keep it up and dont get with the times we should all go on vacation there and mix in,,that sure would teach them,,they would shut up and hope we loose intrest and return to our normal vacation areas.

[roogby]

holy shatty wack.
that is no way to treat any human being, regardless of gender issues...total hugs for you. i'm glad your university seems to care, because everyone else sounds total suck! good luck, and as an aside, that tiara-headband-thing in your avatar is so awesome...

[RoxyRocket47]

Well, fortunately the amount of crap I've had to deal with has gone down considerably as I've become more passable. In fact, now that my breasts are developed enough that I can wear low-cut tops, I haven't had any more problems - though that's only been for the past few weeks.

Also, according to a professor I was talking to, apparently the Pendleton police department ignored not only the rape threats against me, but treated several GGs the same way. So at least the b__tards are consistent.

In response to your aside, the headpiece in my avatar pic is called a circlet - renaissance inspired jewelry. I made it from earings and costume chain for a costume I wore at Origins a few years ago.

[Steph Butterfield]

As someone who has been beaten up and assaulted during my real life test, but here in the North East of England. We are not allowed to carry any weapons, if found to be doing so, it is an arrestable offence. I have also been raped 3 times in the pre transition years, England isn't the nice place many think it is.


Stephanie

[cd_britney_426]

Sorry to hear about these events and I hope everything turns out alright. Please take care of yourself! Some of these threats and reactions combined with the apathetic attitude of the police are things I think you should take very seriously. You may want to consider getting a concealed carry permit and start carrying a gun. Stay safe and good luck. Britney

[RoxyRocket47]

Statistically speaking, carrying a gun drastically increases the chance of escalation of violence as well as your chances of being injured by your assailant. Statistically, many people have drawn weapons and been unwilling to use them - only to have it taken from them and used upon them.

Ergo, I wouldn't recommend you carry a gun unless you are prepared to use it, know how to use it, and are prepared to defend your use of lethal force in a court of law.

Just my 2 cents speaking as a criminologist.

[Schatten Lupus]

You have my sympathy. It sucks that the more conservative areas have seemed to totally forget that Jesus said to love your neighbor and turn the other cheek, not be a bigotted asshole.

Where I live, it's about a split between conservatives and non conservatives. But, that I am aware of there have been only two trans girls in this town, and neither one of them stayed for too long. I know of another t-girl in a neighboring town, but I don't know if she is still around or not. Since me and my SO have already decided that since we can't stay here (primarily because there will soon be no jobs here when Chrysler and Delphi are done sinking), we will look for a more liberal area to move too. I've thought long and hard about Washington state, as I've head it's a good state, but I've never been there so I don't know.


I was thinking about your situation...and getting quite upset for you......two on duty officers calling you names and threatening to arrest you for wearing a skirt? For heaven's sake hope it happens again and get witnesses or recording. Then sue the ^%$#@! out of the police department.
Maybe it's not as bad where you are, but if you sued the police here you would have to move because the cops here are very nasty and abusive. It would be impossible to live here, as the cops would become your worst nightmare.

[cd_britney_426]

I don't know your situation as well as you do but you seriously have to do something. On one hand you have the right to be yourself and express yourself freely. On the other hand you also don't want to end up in a hospital room with serious injuries or worse. Carrying a gun is one option as I mentioned but certainly not the only option. Besides it is an expensive option because they aren't cheap and I doubt training or the permit process in your state is cheap either. At the very least which is something I suspect you do already is please be very aware of your surroundings at all times. Even when I have no known threats to deal with I still use good situational awareness. I wish we lived in a world where we didn't have to do this but we aren't there yet. From your reports of these crimes it does not sound like all of these events are random. Granted I'm no detective but it sounds like there are at least a couple of people who really don't like you, know exactly who you are, and may want to actually harm you. Maybe a Joe Schmoe may yell something once in a while but between the cops and the vandalism and the calls it appears like there really is something brewing behind the scenes. My apologies if I'm scaring you here but you really need to be concerned.

I would watch your mirrors regularly when driving to make sure you are not being followed and when running errands I wouldn't loiter or waste unnecessary time but just get in, do your business, and quickly get out. Additionally, I would avoid confrontations unless absolutely necessary. Granted if it is one individual yelling something at you then in normal circustances no real harm would be done by saying something back and then leaving the area. However, if 20 other individuals are all looking at you in threatening manners (i.e. the Burger King) you really don't want to get something started. You did mention carrying a knife and mace which can help but just like guns you should practice self-defense measures with those items as well. Also, I would make sure you are well secured inside your own home. I don't know you but you are a sister and I don't want anything to happen to you. Please post any relevant updates here as needed including any good news. Britney