a little advice

[Shari]

In case you aren't paying attention to your lives at home, I thought I'd throw out a few words of wisdom.
This is particularly directed at you girls who have a slightly tolerant or less than accepting SO.
Don't get so lost in the pink fog that you forget about her feelings.
She's not your enemy, she's your friend and lover, the Mother of your children. She's didn't marry a woman and she's just freaked out that her husband likes to play dress up games as a girl. For many it's a too late revelation that's way too hard to swallow.

Certainly, absolutely, talk about it with her, but never force the issue. She doesn't want it jammed down her throat.
Above all, be mindful of her feelings and don't allow the romance to slip away. Take her out to dinner, a movie, dancing. Buy her something nice.

SHOW HER that you still love her and you're still the man she married.
Don't run off and sulk because you can't have your way. It's your "thing", not hers.

Keep her first, always.
Otherwise, your life will get even more complicated.

But like Dennis Miller always says. "Of course, that's just my opinion. I could be wrong."

[Deborah Jane]

Good advice Shari
I think we could all do with remembering this, including those of us with accepting SOs

[Karren H]

Yeah!! Well spoken... I loved Dennis till he left the Burgh for the big time... And he's almost right... My wife tells me my opinion's wrong all the time..

[erickka]

Right you are Shari. We all need to keep this realization in the back of our minds. I have a non accepting S/O and NEVER tread on her feelings with my cding. We've been married 25 years under those pretenses, and I am 100% fine with that.

[Kimberly Elise]

Good advice--thanks for your post.

[TGMarla]

It's very true. It's a fine line we walk at times. So often the wives are the ones left holding the bag. Crossdressing was not in the bargain they made when taking their wedding vows. Now they have that to deal with as well.

I love my wife, and she loves me. That doesn't mean she loves the fact that I crossdress. So I try my best to keep it out of her life.

[Sandra]

Good advice Shari
I think we could all do with remembering this, including those of us with accepting SOs


This is also true, thanks for adding that Debs.

[JoAnne Wheeler]

I can relate to that - went through very dense pink fog six months ago - caused a crisis between spouse and myself - through COMMUNICATION, we were able to work through it. I'm still in the fog, but its not quite as dense now.
Love,
JoAnne Wheeler

[Angie G]

Good point Shari and one we all must take note of every day.:hugs:
Angie

[Di]

Great advice Shari and thanks for the post.:hugs:

[suzypier]

You are 100% right. It's the reason why I am 100% in the closet. :sad:

[StacyCD]

I have a bit of a contrary opinion. You didn't wake up one day and decide to be a crossdresser--it choose you! We may have hidden it, even from ourselves, because of shame and guilt but crossdressing is a part of what makes us who we are. It took me a long time to come to that realization. My SO recognizes that as well but is still not entirely comfortable about the idea of me wearing a dress. SOs may not openly participate but the vows to love, honor, and cherish in sickness and in health and in good times as well as bad need to apply both ways. Yes, she married a man but unless you get the plumbing fixed you are still a man no matter what bits of thread you are wearing! Crossdressing is a part of the man she married (although she didn't know it) for a long time--but without crossdressing I'm certain I would have been a different person. I'm not trying to push SOs to openly accept and participate in our crossdressing but to not accept and understand that crossdressing is a part of us is also unfair. Sorry for the rant!

[FlygrlChristy]

In case you aren't paying attention to your lives at home, I thought I'd throw out a few words of wisdom.
This is particularly directed at you girls who have a slightly tolerant or less than accepting SO.
Don't get so lost in the pink fog that you forget about her feelings.
She's not your enemy, she's your friend and lover, the Mother of your children. She's didn't marry a woman and she's just freaked out that her husband likes to play dress up games as a girl. For many it's a too late revelation that's way too hard to swallow.

Certainly, absolutely, talk about it with her, but never force the issue. She doesn't want it jammed down her throat.
Above all, be mindful of her feelings and don't allow the romance to slip away. Take her out to dinner, a movie, dancing. Buy her something nice.

SHOW HER that you still love her and you're still the man she married.
Don't run off and sulk because you can't have your way. It's your "thing", not hers.

Keep her first, always.
Otherwise, your life will get even more complicated.

But like Dennis Miller always says. "Of course, that's just my opinion. I could be wrong."

:iagree:

Well said, that should be every married crossdressers daily mantra, I found out the hard way that your spouse is what should matter first and foremost, do all of the above, and she will be much more accepting, and tolerant of all of this:hugs:

Christy

[PamelaTX]

But like Dennis Miller always says. "Of course, that's just my opinion. I could be wrong."

You're not wrong.

[beenherelongtime]

good post, good advice

[Shari]

I have a bit of a contrary opinion. You didn't wake up one day and decide to be a crossdresser--it choose you! We may have hidden it, even from ourselves, because of shame and guilt but crossdressing is a part of what makes us who we are. It took me a long time to come to that realization. My SO recognizes that as well but is still not entirely comfortable about the idea of me wearing a dress. SOs may not openly participate but the vows to love, honor, and cherish in sickness and in health and in good times as well as bad need to apply both ways. Yes, she married a man but unless you get the plumbing fixed you are still a man no matter what bits of thread you are wearing! Crossdressing is a part of the man she married (although she didn't know it) for a long time--but without crossdressing I'm certain I would have been a different person. I'm not trying to push SOs to openly accept and participate in our crossdressing but to not accept and understand that crossdressing is a part of us is also unfair. Sorry for the rant!

Stacey, I gotta tell you that just because you don't like the idea of having to stay in the closet and are frustrated so much by that, it doesn't mean you're right. Some of the things you say are true, but try verbalizing that to a bunch of guys in a biker bar.
Your vows didn't say to love, honor, obey and crossdress. No matter what you say or how much you stamp your feet, this "thing" we have will never go away and willNEVERbe generally accepted.
Don't be so selfish and try harder to just live with your situation. You have plentyof company right here on this forum.

[marny]

great idea's . Just thought I would note to you that our age it isn't a play.

[Tamara Croft]

Crossdressing is a part of the man she married (although she didn't know it) for a long time--but without crossdressing I'm certain I would have been a different person.How can you bring in wedding vows? You never gave your wife the option at the time you were married, you didn't bother telling her, so pushing your for better or worse :BS: into the equation, just isn't gonna cut it. Had she known before you were married, you could say such a thing, but you didn't. Just because it was part of you when you married her, doesn't mean it was part of her... :rolleyes:

[goofus]

I would never marry someone without telling them about the CDing first...that's just me... :)