My kitty will not buy me jello :<

[Mariah]

Which is to say it sums up my life right now. I'm so stress trying to get my life moving but all I get is silence from the people that can help. it sucks that I've been trying to get on HRT for 9months and the doctors agree but will not write it. Now my car is making a bad knocking noise and I can't get it fixed ether for the same reason, my dad will not pay to fix it nor is he working on it (mind you I am disabled and can't work want to work o I so want to work). bah can't even sleep anymore this sucks.


Mariah

[Mean Green Irene]

First of all I would suggest a new doctor and a counselor if you don't already have one. My doctor refused to give me HRT, so I changed doctors. Most counselors that are experienced in transgender counseling know what doctors are TG friendly. As for the car I have no idea of what to say.

Irene

[onowic]

I can weigh in on the car thing, being a car guy. As you probably already have surmised, a loud knock can be a sign of impending doom. You should not be driving it until you get it checked out, or you will do more damage to the engine and possibly get stranded somewhere when it completely gives out.

If you don't have a reliable car friend who can come over and give it a listen, you can take it to an auto parts store and a lot of times the guy behind the counter will come out and give it a listen and give you his two cents worth. Since it's a parts store and not a repair shop you are likely to get an honest opinion. If they won't do it, just try another auto parts store. You might have better luck if your mom or sister takes it up there, since car guys tend to the old school chivalry personality. I wouldn't try en femme unless you are SUPER passable, TG creeps them out.

You can also take it to a repair shop and they will usually give it a listen for free, some will even test drive it. You can also try those "free estimate" places, but we wary of leaving you car with anyone when they tell you they'll take a look at it and let you know. MOST repair places are on the up and up but some of them may take it partially apart and then you are stuck with them fixing it to get your car back. Remember if you SIGN anything, they pretty much own your car until you pay them whatever they say you have to pay. DON'T sign anything and don't leave your car. If they say you need to leave it so they can look at it later, ask when you can bring it back and they will have time to look at it, and then CALL before you go to make sure they still have that time slot available for you. If they give you the run around, thank them politely and say you gotta go and will think about it then go somewhere else.

Now whatever these guys tell you, write it down and report back to me and I'll give you my two cents. I'll also need the year/model car, what size motor it has in it, and the mileage. Get at least three opinions, and don't be surprised if they are all different. Obviously try to get it done without driving all over town.

Now, as far as getting it fixed, doesn't sound like you have any money and are dependent on your parents so you are in a spot. I and my siblings went through the same issues with our parents and the basic strategy you need to use is that you have to make your problem their problem if they are reluctant to help you with it. This only works if you have a fairly typical family and your parents care about you and you don't fear being thrown out on the streets.

First, make sure you've done everything you can to make your case that you need their help and they've had the opportunity to do so. You need to give them the benefit of the doubt. The instructions below should only be attempted if your parents are being jerks about it and you have exhausted all other possibilites of getting their help through normal communication.

Tell your father you got the car looked at and the guy said it was about to die and you have to park it until it's fixed, so you are car less. Then, anytime you need to go out, ESPECIALLY if it's to run an errand for them, borrow their car. Every other time be back about 15-20 mins later than you said you would and say you got stuck in traffic or hit every light. NEVER put gas in the car unless you need to to get where you are going, and only put enough in it to get there and back. But try and leave them with an 1/8 of a tank though, you want to give them time to actually check the guage and make it to the gas station. Remember to adjust the seat and mirrors for you, change the radio station, and don't put them back.

All this works best if you use mom's car, because then it's your mom's problem and nobody can nag dad like mom can. Plus mom's got credit cards so if she get's fed up enough she'll go with you to the repair shop and hand them her credit card. You can also beg your father to go look at it with you, together, and at least give you his two cents on what's wrong with it. Pitch it as a learning experience for you so you can be more self-reliant and not get screwed by repair shops when you are finally out on your own. This works really well in mom's presence. My mom actually got up and took my father's dinner plate away from him and said he could have the dinner that SHE made after he took a look at my car.

You can also try getting your mom to go with you to the repair shop, then when they hand over the papers to sign and ask for a credit card, look at your mother imploringly with your best puppy dog eyes. If you can get her name and signature and most importantly credit card on the paperwork, you are home free. If she declines, she still is likely to go home and weigh on your father about it.

If they won't or stop loaning you their car, and you think you can do it without too much fallout, just take it when they are not looking, but only initally for short trips. Remember if you do this you are effectively stealing their car, and they have a right to call it in as stolen. Use this only as a last resort with the intention of starting a fight with them about them not helping you with your car.

[Jessicaparkson]

*buys Jello*

Here you go. That's rough hun. As cliche as it is, silver lining. Hugs and best wishes to you. Enjoy your jello :)

[Mariah]

Irene, thanks but it's not a option my theripest and phyic are not the problem they are going by the book, I need a endo and there is non around here.

onowic, I owned a auto repair shop with my dad, I know my 1998 Chevy malibu with 160,000 needs a new main baring :) problem is my father (40 years of exp!) can't/willnot fix it nor pay for it to get fix.

Thank you jessica!!!!!! :D

Mariah