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View Full Version : Now I see ME ..... Now I Don't



Sheila
01-09-2009, 11:10 PM
As many of you know I took an overdose in July of last year ....... having survived that .....(not my choice but sometimes we have no say :sad:) ..... I eventually began the journey, I describe as re-discovering ME, I have a long long way to go but, I now believe I will get there :)

One of the things I have done on this re-discovery has been to attend therapy .. I who had poo poo'ed the idea of therapy for so many years, suddenly found herself forced into it ......... can't say it's been a bad thing :straightface::straightface:

This last week has a couple of major stimbling blocks along my path and sent me scurrying back down the road I had started on ..... not that far back down but far enough doen it to worry me ................ now tonight i got to thinking
"Why,, What stopped me heading all the way back" and you know i think it is because I am on that journey of "RE-discovering me"

When I discovered M's CDing to try to find out what it meant to me, to him, and our relationship I created and began to live another being ...... the Jess who arrived was there for protection ( for M's behalf), and she began to develop a personality of her own ( anything sounding familiar here?), I began to identify far, far, more easily as Jess than I did as the real me Sheila, and I commented on that a few times along the road, The lies, deciet and the weight of hiding who I was/am began to take it 's toll. I can now see, while it was not entirely due to having to hide who I was at the core, my ex's cding certainly played a huge part in my overdose ............ my journey back to re-discovering me, I think began, when I threw off the mantle/disguise of being Jess, and returned at least in name (on that day) to being ME-Sheila, avery small step but a vastly important one

The utter relief of being free to be me is indescribable ............ and not just out from under the mantle of being Jess, but also from being the "Old Old Sheila" ----- the one who from the age of 8 when her mum left, became the carer for her brothers and sisters, then went on to do nursing, raise a family, befriend every lost soul/cause, took up each and every fight life decided to throw at her until the last when left me on my A$$ and fighting no more, ------------ now at the age of 50 I am able at long last, able to be FREE TO BE ME, whoever the heck me is ..... an interesting journey I am sure awaits me:D

I wondered if in any way what I have described here, reflects how any of you feel? .. while i had th thrown of themantle of not being who I am inside to be free to become me ............ does Dressing do the same for you, but in reverse ........... allow you, for however short a time to become who you are inside

Kate Simmons
01-10-2009, 07:18 AM
Actually the CDing was a vehicle I used for several years to get in touch with my feelings my friend. Now that I have balanced and integrated the feelings I have reached a pinnacle and am free to be the real me. While It's a "nice to have" I no longer need the dressing to express who I am inside and am no longer afraid of showing my true feelings to everyone. I can finally enjoy being myself no matter what I look like. It is a great feeling and well worth the effort.:)

deja true
01-10-2009, 07:37 AM
Yup....but for me, it's not a matter of being the real me in public. It's a matter of having finally come to an acceptance that deja is a valid and healthy part of the totality of who I am. Denied for years, deja didn't even have a name. How's that for rejection?

So the personal and private acceptance of deja has bled across into the public reality of "what's-his-name's" existence and made him a much nicer and more fulfilled person than he ever was. Cloudy days of depression and anxiety are virtually gone for good. The sometimes grumpy and nit-picking guy has left the building. The public person is a better person all around and is seen so by longtime acquaintances who are finally turning into friends.

2008 was a watershed year, wasn't it? And made possible by a lot of sensible and sensitive voices right here...including yours, darlin'.

:)

morgan51
01-10-2009, 08:33 AM
I is nice to learn we aren,t guilty for being who/what we are we just are. I finally have given myself permission to just be me as you said. selfacceptance comes so difficultly for most of us. relax and live your life as you need to not for others. Keepimg an eye towards the needs of my so is a big part of this for me also. I don,t wish to drive her away with selfgratification. M.

Angie G
01-10-2009, 10:14 AM
Yes it does let me be who I feel I must be at least part time and i praise my lovely caring wife for letting me go there when I need And that's a lot. I've always been on the up side of life And I believe that's do to Angie And my wife. And I do so much thank God for both of them. I do hope you find your true self and can be truly happy in it.:hugs:
Angie

DonnaT
01-10-2009, 01:07 PM
I wondered if in any way what I have described here, reflects how any of you feel? .. while i had th thrown of themantle of not being who I am inside to be free to become me ............ does Dressing do the same for you, but in reverse ........... allow you, for however short a time to become who you are inside

Not really. At least not that I know of.

I'm a guy, and don't feel like I am a woman, inside. At least not consciously.

I mean, I dress for some reason, but it's an unconscious reason. Like when I started writing. It was an unconscious choice to use my right hand.

So, I dress because it feels right and satisfies that urge that come from somewhere within.