Crystal Galadriel
01-11-2009, 03:24 AM
For those of you who don't want to take the time to read my paragraphs on this, I've provided a summary. If you'd like details at all, please feel free to read the entire thing below, I'd even prefer if you did, but I know that not everyone does.
Summary: Told my SO about my crossdressing Saturday night. During the day, took her to the mall then to dinner then to a movie. Got some private time and I told her. She's ok with it, but doesn't want to see me dressed, at least not yet, she's not sure how she'll feel about it later down the road but doubts that she'll be less approving as time goes on. I basically couldn't be happier.
Full Story: Around mid-afternoon, we went shopping at the bigger of Wichita's two malls, weren't really looking for anything, just kinda browsing. We were there for a little over an hour before we went to an early dinner at one of our favorite places. After that, we went and saw Bride Wars, which was actually pretty good. I don't think I would have enjoyed it as much, but I had been so tense all day about telling her that I was more or less in girl mode. Then we went back to her house and watched TV for a while, a couple of game shows and then a couple of episodes of "John and Kate Plus 8" on TLC, very cute show if you've never seen it.
It was then that we got some privacy and I told her there was something I needed to tell her about. I didn't just blurt out that I was a crossdresser, built up to it with the back story instead, told her how when I was a kid I watched this show and then started trying to emulate the main character, borrowed my sister's clothes, etc.
She took it better than I ever hoped. I didn't know what her end reaction would be like, but I expected her to at least sort of freak out about it when I first told her. When I told her that I needed to tell her something, she immediately started trying to think of what it could be. She listed a few things that came to her mind first, before I told her, and she was mostly just glad that it wasn't anywhere near as bad as what she was expecting. She said her general reaction when I told her was "Oh, is that all?" She asked me the basic few questions, though not as blunt as "Are you gay?" and "Do you want a sex change?" I reassured her that I was very not-gay and that I did not want a sex change, and that I loved her very much and that nothing had changed about me.
She, at least initially, accepted it very easily. She said that it was kind of weird, but that she had always known that I was kind of weird, and that every one is, and that it doesn't change how she feels about me or how she thinks of me. She's always known that I was a little on the effeminate side, and she said that was fine, she doesn't like "macho men" very much. She wants me to talk to her about it, like what I buy when I buy things and stuff like that, and she wants me to clue her in on everything up to this point, all of which I'm fine with. I would have filled her all in tonight, but she was really tired, and after being super nervous all day, I was too, so we're going to talk more about it tomorrow. She's fine with me doing it, she doesn't think there's anything wrong with it, at least to a point, and isn't going to try to get me to stop if it's something that I like. She said that, at least at this point, she doesn't want to see me dressed up, which I'm fine with. I'm not even sure if I'd want her to see me dressed up at this point. She doesn't want me using wigs, which I don't really like anyway (besides, I'm growing my hair out), or make-up, which I can't really wear and still keep my beard, and which I also don't really like much. She was kind of relieved that I don't plan on ever going out in public or trying to pass as a girl.
She was fairly calm through the whole thing, and said she actually found it a little funny and had to try not to laugh, she didn't want to make me feel bad or degrade me or anything. She also said that she'd have someone to watch chick-flicks with now. She still cuddled with me a little afterwards, though not too much. I'm optimistically attributing the limited amount of cuddling mostly to the fact that she has a cold and was fiercely battling a very runny nose. She kissed me a couple of times while we were laying there and talking, and she kissed me good-bye. I'm not worried about her cold as I'm pretty sure I gave it too her, still recovering myself.
When she said she was pretty much fine with it, I couldn't help but cry. She was trying to reassure me that everything was ok, but I was really crying more out of relief than anything else. I wasn't really worried about losing her, cause I know how much she loves me, but I was worried that she'd be against it, and I didn't want it to put a rift in our relationship. It seems like everything's going to be fine with us, but I'm still going to fill in all the rest of the details for her tomorrow night, and I'm going to take it slow, definitely not move any faster than she's ready for.
To be honest, this is pretty much the best situation I could have realistically hoped for. She's not especially effeminate, she doesn't particularly enjoy shopping or shoes, she doesn't wear make-up, she only has a few, long skirts and rarely wears them (she didn't have any until we got together, I sort of convinced her about them) and not a single dress. So, with all of that, I couldn't really expect her to be excited about it at all. She doesn't really want or need anybody to go shopping or get make-overs or whatever else with. I'm just overwhelmingly glad that she's at least initially ok with it. She seemed to be very open and honest and level headed about her reaction, too, so I'm hopeful that it's genuine and won't be too back-and-forth like some SO's are.
Alright, now that I've written a short novel about this, I'll turn it over to all of you. MY SO IS ACCEPTING OF ME! The only way I could be happier is if she was excited about it, but then I'd actually be a little creeped out. I'll keep you updated here after I talk to her tomorrow night and as her thoughts on it solidify and she digests it all. Sorry for the ridiculous length of this, I like writing. Thanks for reading all of my ramblings, and I hope that any experiences you have with telling your SO are at least as good as mine!
Summary: Told my SO about my crossdressing Saturday night. During the day, took her to the mall then to dinner then to a movie. Got some private time and I told her. She's ok with it, but doesn't want to see me dressed, at least not yet, she's not sure how she'll feel about it later down the road but doubts that she'll be less approving as time goes on. I basically couldn't be happier.
Full Story: Around mid-afternoon, we went shopping at the bigger of Wichita's two malls, weren't really looking for anything, just kinda browsing. We were there for a little over an hour before we went to an early dinner at one of our favorite places. After that, we went and saw Bride Wars, which was actually pretty good. I don't think I would have enjoyed it as much, but I had been so tense all day about telling her that I was more or less in girl mode. Then we went back to her house and watched TV for a while, a couple of game shows and then a couple of episodes of "John and Kate Plus 8" on TLC, very cute show if you've never seen it.
It was then that we got some privacy and I told her there was something I needed to tell her about. I didn't just blurt out that I was a crossdresser, built up to it with the back story instead, told her how when I was a kid I watched this show and then started trying to emulate the main character, borrowed my sister's clothes, etc.
She took it better than I ever hoped. I didn't know what her end reaction would be like, but I expected her to at least sort of freak out about it when I first told her. When I told her that I needed to tell her something, she immediately started trying to think of what it could be. She listed a few things that came to her mind first, before I told her, and she was mostly just glad that it wasn't anywhere near as bad as what she was expecting. She said her general reaction when I told her was "Oh, is that all?" She asked me the basic few questions, though not as blunt as "Are you gay?" and "Do you want a sex change?" I reassured her that I was very not-gay and that I did not want a sex change, and that I loved her very much and that nothing had changed about me.
She, at least initially, accepted it very easily. She said that it was kind of weird, but that she had always known that I was kind of weird, and that every one is, and that it doesn't change how she feels about me or how she thinks of me. She's always known that I was a little on the effeminate side, and she said that was fine, she doesn't like "macho men" very much. She wants me to talk to her about it, like what I buy when I buy things and stuff like that, and she wants me to clue her in on everything up to this point, all of which I'm fine with. I would have filled her all in tonight, but she was really tired, and after being super nervous all day, I was too, so we're going to talk more about it tomorrow. She's fine with me doing it, she doesn't think there's anything wrong with it, at least to a point, and isn't going to try to get me to stop if it's something that I like. She said that, at least at this point, she doesn't want to see me dressed up, which I'm fine with. I'm not even sure if I'd want her to see me dressed up at this point. She doesn't want me using wigs, which I don't really like anyway (besides, I'm growing my hair out), or make-up, which I can't really wear and still keep my beard, and which I also don't really like much. She was kind of relieved that I don't plan on ever going out in public or trying to pass as a girl.
She was fairly calm through the whole thing, and said she actually found it a little funny and had to try not to laugh, she didn't want to make me feel bad or degrade me or anything. She also said that she'd have someone to watch chick-flicks with now. She still cuddled with me a little afterwards, though not too much. I'm optimistically attributing the limited amount of cuddling mostly to the fact that she has a cold and was fiercely battling a very runny nose. She kissed me a couple of times while we were laying there and talking, and she kissed me good-bye. I'm not worried about her cold as I'm pretty sure I gave it too her, still recovering myself.
When she said she was pretty much fine with it, I couldn't help but cry. She was trying to reassure me that everything was ok, but I was really crying more out of relief than anything else. I wasn't really worried about losing her, cause I know how much she loves me, but I was worried that she'd be against it, and I didn't want it to put a rift in our relationship. It seems like everything's going to be fine with us, but I'm still going to fill in all the rest of the details for her tomorrow night, and I'm going to take it slow, definitely not move any faster than she's ready for.
To be honest, this is pretty much the best situation I could have realistically hoped for. She's not especially effeminate, she doesn't particularly enjoy shopping or shoes, she doesn't wear make-up, she only has a few, long skirts and rarely wears them (she didn't have any until we got together, I sort of convinced her about them) and not a single dress. So, with all of that, I couldn't really expect her to be excited about it at all. She doesn't really want or need anybody to go shopping or get make-overs or whatever else with. I'm just overwhelmingly glad that she's at least initially ok with it. She seemed to be very open and honest and level headed about her reaction, too, so I'm hopeful that it's genuine and won't be too back-and-forth like some SO's are.
Alright, now that I've written a short novel about this, I'll turn it over to all of you. MY SO IS ACCEPTING OF ME! The only way I could be happier is if she was excited about it, but then I'd actually be a little creeped out. I'll keep you updated here after I talk to her tomorrow night and as her thoughts on it solidify and she digests it all. Sorry for the ridiculous length of this, I like writing. Thanks for reading all of my ramblings, and I hope that any experiences you have with telling your SO are at least as good as mine!