Your CD'ing and your children

[Wendrme]

I am sure that a lot of us have children and a lot of us have come out to our children. I was wondering what effect your hobby has had on your children. Has anyone's son expressed interest in your hobby and wanted to try it? Or has anyone's daughter expressed a desire to help you to be a more feminine father? Or do they just laugh and roll their eyes?

[KarenS]

To my knowledge, I don't believe my daughters have a clue. And... I'm not telling, yet.

[BobbiJ]

It's still a new thing to them. I have two daughters. My oldest (age 21) found out by accident last July, and i came out to my youngest (age 17) In October. Both had attitudes of, "Oh, okay. No biggie."

Neither has expressed an interest in seeing me en femme, but each has cracked good-natured jokes once or twice since finding out.

Our relationships haven't changed since they found out. If anything, home life has been less turbulent, with very few arguments.

And I don't think of it as a "hobby," but part of who i am.

[Kimberly Marie Kelly]

My daughter thinks its neat and we both went shopping for xmas gifts after Xmas, I enjoyed it immensely, got some nice blouses's and tops from her. My son was told too, he is okay with my crossdressing but I don't dress as feminine in front of him like I do in front of my daughter. Both my kids were told about 2-3 months ago, they are both early 20's.. I found out that they both knew of my crossdressing for well over 15 years or so, like since they were 7 & 9 years old. I was hiding for 15 years when I didn't need too. :battingeyelashes:

[susan2010]

This is a pretty scary subject for me; I'm planning on telling one older daughter soon, and I'm not sure what to expect. She is in her 30's, from a previous marriage.
The wife occassionally threatens to tell the younger children (ours), and I think I'll have to tell them sometime.

[PretzelGirl]

Two of my kids are out of the house and probably won't find out by accident. The third may know, but certainly not by my telling her. If she does, she is hiding it well. If she doesn't, she is fairly dense. :heehee:

My closet is separated 75% Sue's and 25% mine. In the last few years I have grown my hair out and got my ears pierced. Every time she comes home I seem to be in the bedroom for a few minutes. And if she ever checks out the size difference between one half of the shoes under the bed against the other half. . . Things do add up.

[Jenny Beth]

My daughter turns 31 this month, (Jesus am I that old) she discovered some of my things when she was 16. I won't go into all the detail but over the years she has come to accept and support this side of me and has seen me dressed many times. On her last visit with one of her girlfriends she bought me some nail polish, can't ask for more than that!

[Katrina red nails]

My 3 "kids" areboys/men of 16,22 and 24. Reading through posts on here it seems daughters are more understanding than sons. In my case it is just me and the wife that know (as far as i am aware anyway):)

[JoAnne Wheeler]

I don't have any children, but I do have 2 dogs and they seem to accept me - more than my Spouse
JoAnne Wheeler

[BobbiJ]

Susan, If your wife has been threatening to tell your children, you should tell them yourself. If it was me, i wouldn't even mention my plans to her first, since she's obviously trying to be vindictive.

If you have good, loving relationships with your children, your chances of having at least a neutral reaction are pretty good.

To me, the important thing would be that you would be telling them yourself, being honest with them about who you are.

Now that i've said that, you should probably listen to the avalanche of responses that follow this, telling me that i'm crazy and impulsive for suggesting such a thing. ;)

[MsSamanthaErica]

Now that i've said that, you should probably listen to the avalanche of responses that follow this, telling me that i'm crazy and impulsive for suggesting such a thing. ;)

:) Nope, those suggestions are all pretty sound to me. Be open, honest and tell them that no matter what you still love them. Who knows, it may help them down the road should they need to tell you something important like that!

~Samantha

[Kelli Michelle]

I have a 13 yrs old daughter and an 18 yr old son. I know how they were raised, have a pretty good idea of how they feel about tgs, cds, gays, etc. which is tolerant. Though I haven't come out to them, and my wife would be terrified, I feel like it will happen someday, and think that they would be fine with it. They love ME, not necessarily an ideal of what a father should be. I am a firm believer that if most people don't notice or know, they don't NEED to know. It is a personal issue not something that needs to be yelled from the rooftops. If, however, it is either obvious, or will soon be obvious that you are transgendered, then I think it would be best to tell them. Of course I could be wrong!:o

[Nigella]

Our daughter when told just replied, "I had an idea, can I borrow your clothes?"

She defended me if comments were made when out, and often threatend to "thump" em if they said anything.

She was the one who persuaded Sandra that it was time to tell the world. She wanted to tell all her friends on her own, any who were "funny" about it soon lost her friendship.

One lad decided to make fun of the fact that her dad wore dresses, he soon found out she had a mean right hook. This was at school and the lad made the mistake of reporting our daughter for thumping him, when she was having a "chat" with the head, he could not really tell her off cos he was smirking so much.

[MissConstrued]

One lad decided to make fun of the fact that her dad wore dresses, he soon found out she had a mean right hook. This was at school and the lad made the mistake of reporting our daughter for thumping him, when she was having a "chat" with the head, he could not really tell her off cos he was smirking so much.


Must have been something wrong with that kid. No boy in his right mind would admit to anyone he'd been beat up by a girl. :eek:

[BobbiJ]

I have a 13 yrs old daughter and an 18 yr old son. I know how they were raised, have a pretty good idea of how they feel about tgs, cds, gays, etc. which is tolerant. Though I haven't come out to them, and my wife would be terrified, I feel like it will happen someday, and think that they would be fine with it...

Oddly enough, once my daughters both knew and had no issues, it made things easier for my wife. First of all, she has someone to talk to when she thinks she's losing it and doesn't want to discuss things with me. Second, one of her problems was/is fear of what others would think if they knew. Now, she knows the only two people who really matter don't see what the big deal is, which takes a load off her mind.

[krisinpink]

My GF's kids (my house---they live here) All know "somethings up" they've stumbled onto stashes of shoes that are clearly not Mom's size. No direct comments have ever been made, and even in moments of pure rage toward me over god-knows-what, they've never mentioned this or tried using it in a hurtful way toward me. These are smart kids, so I suspect they know more than they're letting on; and don't seem to have a problem with it.

[Sheila]

All three of my kids knew about my ex, and all three of them know about Debs

Daughter and youngest son have both met Debs on webcan and are cool with her :D

[Sandra]

Must have been something wrong with that kid. No boy in his right mind would admit to anyone he'd been beat up by a girl. :eek:

What was even more funny was he was a year older that our daughter. There had been some fritction between them for quite a while, and this time she let him have it.

[Deborah Jane]

My daughter [16] has met "Debs" and is fine with her, my eldest son [14] knows about my c/ding and isn,t bothered at all. My 7 year old son will be told when he,s older.

[Jess_cd32]

Must have been something wrong with that kid. No boy in his right mind would admit to anyone he'd been beat up by a girl. :eek:

Yea so true, wonder how he's gonna like now being called a 'sissy' by his classmates that he got beat up by a girl:heehee:
Ahh sometimes there is true justice, hope he likes the taste of his own medicine now, he deserved it.

[Jennifer in CO]

a two part answer.
I had abdominal surgery in 91 which made running around in dresses, skirts and pantsuits (one-piece jumper) much more comfy than (belted) pants - ok I couldn't even wear pants for about 6 weeks but thats a different story. During that time, one of the outfits my wife had bought me was a brown halter style floor length sun-dress for lounging in. Most days I'd swap out of it into a pantsuit or skirt before the girls got home from school but on this particular day I had crashed on the couch and they had come home before I had changed. They both giggled a bit and the youngest said I looked funny while the oldest you could tell even thru the giggles she was uncomfortable with seeing me dressed as such. Over the next few weeks they both saw me in skirts (plain denim at knee or floor length) most times and you could tell the oldest was much more comfortable then so it must of been the very feminine halter-top style and cut/fabric that bothered her.

Since that time, I don't really know if they have "caught-on" or not that my attire has not changed much. Of note, when the oldest was around 13, she saw me wearing a pair of jeans and a feminine tank top. No comment about the top but she did ask why I was wearing Mom's jeans...

The real funny of all this is when I and my wife were much younger, we were both much smaller (size 8/10). Shortly before our fire, our youngest found my wifes wedding dress and our matching going away outfits (they were the same size) and couldn't even get the dress over her hips. In another box were several outfits I used to wear "back then" and she found a blouse she could almost get over her shoulders (mind you she is almost 20 at this point). She comes walking into the living room holding the top and says to my wife " I can't believe you were ever this small !" My wife looks at me and almost burst out laughing right then and there! I REALLY don't think she'd understand or fathom the blouse was her dads!!

Jenn

[KimberlyS]

We have not come out and told our kids in the early teens of my CDing. But they do know their dad has some feminine traits and wears some feminine clothes. And pretty sure they know more as kids are smart. They have asked some questions about who's some of the clothes are. My wife and I have decided we would like lie to them, but tell them what we thought they could handle. So far she has just told them they were not hers. And there are many feminine clothes in the wash that mom does not wear. Just waiting for some more to the point questions. But I am sure they know more. If they are snoopy at all, some of dad's drawers have a mix of male underwear and socks with panties and trouser socks in them. And the top drawer of dad's dresser has bras in it that are not mom's. So I would say we are not hiding things from them. Just not displaying Kim in front of them.

[Malori Cross]

I recently learned that my son (almost 15) considers himself Transsexual and has been Underdressing for months, wearing his older sister's cast-offs. We basically came out to each other about a week ago. While we're not talking face-to-face about this, we use GoogleChat (even when we're both at home) to discuss the subject. He had no idea I'm a CD, but doesn't seem surprised. I'm more interested in getting him to articulate his thinking as I'm not convinced he's as "androgynous" (his term for it) as he says. He recently admitted he was surprised at how attractive a female classmate of his looked in a bikini. I think he may just be confused, as I was when I first became aware of my feminine side, about there on the gender spectrum I was. For a time I was convinced I was headed for a full MTF transition, but as the Pink Fog lifted I began to realize that being CD would meet my needs. So it be the same with my son.

Meanwhile, my 19-year-old daughter recently revealed she may be in a lesbian relationship with a friend at college. I haven't come out to her but I suspect she'd be okay with it.

That said, my wife, with whom I came out to 15 years ago, has only ever been luke-warm at best to Malori. It will be interesting to see how this plays out between my wife and son, as they have a very close relationship. He has not come out to her yet; I've only told him his mother may not be thrilled with the idea of having another "daughter."

Thoughts, anyone?

[nikki47]

At the moment only my wife knows about me,i think it will probably stay that way.My eldest 21 is living with his g/f and the youngest 16 still at home,i only dress when he's out,my clothes are in with my wifes wardrobe,similar size but mine are more sexy,shoes and wig are hidden,that could take some explaining if found as shoes are 3 sizes larger.I honestly would prefer them not to know.

Nikki

[docrobbysherry]

To my knowledge, I don't believe my daughters have a clue. And... I'm not telling, yet.
:eek:

[Michelle8]

My son knows.He is a great kid and is cool with it.
We never talk about it though.Which is fine with me

[AmandaM]

Mine are still in elementary school. So, it's hidden. The only thing I do is make sure they know of people like us on TV, etc. and I always say it's okay, people are different.

[Angel.Marie76]

I have only my son, who's coming up on 11 years old in less than a month. Halloween of this past year I 'came out' partially to him with 'Dad wants to be a girl' for Hallows, and that's that.. Well, it hit him kinda hard it seemed as he saw me wandering around the house in an a skirt 'n top that first time - no makeup. We had a long talk about it, and it became clear he was more concerned with me embarrassing him more than anything else.

Month or so later, he says he wants to grow his hair longer, like dad's, we talk about personal expression and looks, and how people look this ways and that, and that they're allowed to express themselves in whatever way they like as long as it doesn't 'harm' anyone else. Also we talked about how much FUN bullies are, esp. at his age in school.

He also recently was bought a ring for XMass, just a simple silver band, which he loves (and he asked for specifically - I'm sure cause his dad wears so many rings), however he just picked up another ring with his grandmother this weekend that I'd have to say is probably a little more on the not-so-masculine side. It was just a simple silver ring again, but with a small black stone on a silver setting. Apparently he asked 'the critic' of his classroom at school if she thought the ring looked too girly (he he) apparently her response was NO. My councilor has just stated that 'that particular form of verification' is common at his age regardless perhaps of the fact that his dad likes to crossdress. He has continued to wear the ring at this time - however I have to wonder.. might my dressing be having some sort of bleed-through effect on him?

I continue to talk to him about my dressing, making sure he's comfortable, so that I don't upset him [or whatever the proper terms might be]. I just want him to be comfortable being himself and in doing so making sure he's really comfortable with me.

*shrug* All I know is that I'll be there for him regardless of whatever roads he decides to walk.