Not quite sure, advice welcomed

[putz0611]

I am technically the "boss' wife." I think one of the employees recently hinted towards me about being a cder or something along the spectrum. He said that he was really the wife in his marraige. I'm not sure how to approach this as I wouldn't don't think he would be comfortable with me telling my hubby. Also, I couldn't tell this guy that hey my hubby is a cder.:doh:

[TommiTN]

I think I'd just let sleeping dogs lie for now and see what develops. The employee may simply have been referring to his family life wherein he, maybe by necessity in a dual income household, does the work at home that used to be normally associated with the wife.

[putz0611]

I don't think it is a matter of him doing housework. My instincts tell me that it is related to cding or somewhere on the spectrum. I will try to leave sleeping dogs lie, but he has told me he would tell me more when others weren't around. I do not think he is hitting on me at all. I think he wants to get something off his chest. My biggest concern is being the "boss' wife."

[Karren H]

I wouldn't out your SO over this but I'd just see how it plays out.... And maybe lend a supportive ear if he should need one..

[Tracii G]

I think Karren is right on this one.Don't out your SO let this person come out to you and let them know your are OK with it.

[Kelly DeWinter]

I say have fun with it, Suggested replys include:

"Our corporate dress code covers female attire if you choose to come in wearing one ."

"Knock before using the womens toilet"

"make sure you wear appropriate clothes when opperating machriney"
"No HIGH Heels on the shop floor"


Kelly

[Katie Moore]

I am technically the "boss' wife." I think one of the employees recently hinted towards me about being a cder or something along the spectrum. He said that he was really the wife in his marraige. I'm not sure how to approach this as I wouldn't don't think he would be comfortable with me telling my hubby. Also, I couldn't tell this guy that hey my hubby is a cder.:doh:


I think that maybe he was referring that in his marriage that he is probably the one that has more "wife" traits. I would just go on and leave it alone unless you want to pursue it. But remember it's the workplace and it could come back to bite.....:2c:

:love:

Katie

[Gabrielle Hermosa]

You should probably let him say what he has to say without trying to anticipate where he's going until he puts it all out there. Even there are signs that he might be a cder, it might get messy if you were to suggest anything before it is spoken.

If he ends up being a cder, I guess you know a good website to tell him about. :)

If it turns out to be something completely different, you'll be thankful that you let him say what he had to say first.

Good luck with it.

[Rachel Morley]

The guy "hinted that he was the wife in the marriage" ? ....IMHO that could mean a lot of things and not all of them to do with CDing, like perhaps he's in a relationship where he takes up what was a traditionally female role in the household which might or might not include laundry, cleaning etc.

If you are sure that your instincts say it's related to crossdressing what clues did he give you that it's a "gender expression thing"? What triggered your instincts to go to CDing?

I would go with what others have said. Be supportive and encourage him to tell you more but keep it between the two of you (and us here :D) ... whatever you do don't mention your hubby right now. :2c:

[putz0611]

Well, I went to the office to clean it up a bit, just one of the things I do for my hubby. The employee keeps hinting towards being feminine, he doesn't do it with the other guys around. Everyone in the office knows I'm a sympathetic person and tend not to judge. So, I tend to hear about everything and I don't repeat things. Anyway, the guy seems to want to talk but I'm not pressuring him in any way. However, I also let the guys know that if it is something that could affect their job, I have to let my hubby know. It's a men's fraternal organization. So far I see no reason for cding to affect job performance, thank goodness.

[TommiTN]

I think you're playing it correctly, Putz. Just be noncommital and let him make the moves for all the reasons stated above.

[Shikyo]

I'd also just wait, until he comes to you and tells it from his(or her if that's his wish) own free will. You can keep thinking and guessing what might be going on, but you can never be sure until you actually know what is going on. Keep your eyes and ears open, but your mouth shut until you are sure what the message is.

Whatever it is, being helpful is always going to work out well.

[Chari]

Great advice from previous posts. Let him/her do the talking whenever it is comfortable for both of you and be a good listener. Don't say anything to others unless his/her info will create problems for another or the company. Sometimes us CDers just have to talk to someone sympathetic to our life style.

[Sally2005]

Unless it is illegal you have a responsibilty to keep the secret. The worst employer to work for is one who's boss' wife is the office gossip. Tell him you must tell your husband if that is the case or make it clear that you will keep the secret unless they okay it. I worked with someone who said he is the woman in the relationship and he said it several times in front of the guys...I have no idea if he is a CDer...doesn't matter, in fact, I don't really see why he would say that at work other than as a joke, but I think he was just trying to say he is a pushover and lets his wife lead. Don't read too much in to it until he actually tells you what he is getting at.

[JoAnne Wheeler]

Do you tolerate your CDing Spouse ??? As a "Boss" wife, how do you handle your spouses CDing ?

As far as commenting on your subordinant comment, I would just let it go for the time being. Maybe it was a cry for help !

Love,
JoAnne Wheeler