Macho Woman?

[PamelaTX]

Since accepting myself as a transgendered person six months ago, I've spent a lot of time exploring and learning about my feminine side. I've always acted pretty macho, but I've come to believe that this was largely an act to cover up the feminine side of my personality. As you might suspect, I've dropped much of that act, and have now embraced my feminine inclinations such as crying in sentimental situations, and many other things.

But I've noticed something odd coming out of this. I feel that my masculine side has improved in ways that I didn't expect. I feel much more confident and much more in control in most situations. I am finding it much easier to take charge when necessary, and to be strong and supportive when necessary. In short, I've found I'm able to "play the man" (as opposed to "the macho jerk") much better than I've ever been able to do before.

My question for you ladies is this. Have any of you experienced the same thing? Is this a common thing, or is this something weird?

[TommiTN]

"Man and woman he created them in his own image." We need both sides, sometimes more female, sometimes more male to be in balance with ourselves and the world.

[deja true]

Not weird at all Pammie....

You describe exactly what's happened to me.

Accepting myself has made me a happy ol' girl...and...

a much much happier man, too. Playin' the macho has ceased. Playin' the MAN, the right kind of man, confident and polite and calm and secure is the way of it now.

Arianna calls it "integration" of the selves....

It's about being the best of both.....win/win!

:)

[Sandra Dunn]

For me it was mainly the anger issues. I now have a more balance desposition. Yes you are correct in understanding that it was a way to cover up your feminine side, a way to surpress your true self. Isn't it wonderfull to embrace yourself for who you are? To be true to yourself.
My wife has had some getting used to the idea of Sandra being around a lot more, still she has seen the changes and likes those changes. She has found a balance and we do things as a couple and as best friends, girlfriends that is.
Welcome to the real world.
HUGS Sandra

[Karren H]

I'm having a hard time playing any part lately.... girly guy or macho girl.... girly girl or macho man..... macho ... macho mannnn....... I want to be a macho man... NOT!! lol

[Tracii G]

Yes I think it has helped me very much in that regard.I agree totaly.
In my younger days violence was an everyday occurance.
I was in a biker gang so macho was a constant thing too.
Being a VietNam vet and all the violence associated with combat "machoism" was needed to get thru all the gore.
But now I feel more relaxed and "in tune" with the world and my inner self.
CDing has been good for me.

[Kate Simmons]

Those of us who make the feelings our own and take ownership of ourselves are able to do this Hon.:)

[Toni_Lynn]

This is a great topic. I have often, even as a teen, felt that way I can be the best boy I can be is by being a girl. In my later years I found that to be true, because I began to embody the 'gentle' aspect of the word gentleman!

Early on though it was pure envy, though, as I saw girls, even my own sister, being called on to do traditionally boy things, i.e her playing softball, while I was left on the sidelines deemed as being beyond hope. My sister howver was given every opportunity and all the mentoring she needed. So in my little cranium it only made sense that if I became a girl, by dressing as one, I'd be encouraged too!

Therefore this is why I want to be a tomboy, so that I can be both a boy and girl, for the girl can magnify the boy.

Whew! I think I'll go lay down as my brain hurts.

Huggles

Toni-Lynn

[JoAnne Wheeler]

When we go for so much of our lives in secrecy, shame, anxiety, irritability, and depresion, once we finally accept who and what we are, then the great weight of our past is lifted and we can enjoy being ourselves, no matter what gender.
JoAnne Wheeler

[Tracii G]

You know I never felt shame and anxiety over CDing like some do.
I do kind of keep it low key but have a few friends that are in on the secret.
Never felt it was wrong because it just feels right.

[Sheila]

When we go for so much of our lives in secrecy, shame, anxiety, irritability, and depresion, once we finally accept who and what we are, then the great weight of our past is lifted and we can enjoy being ourselves, no matter what gender.
JoAnne Wheeler

I agree JoAnne

You know the same things happens for us GG's in many ways ........ my mom left when I was 8 ........ overnight I had to grow up and grow up fast, & to learn how to take care of my siblings, at 10 I was in a childrens home with the them, again I was "in charge" of them, at 176 I was on my own in the big bad world and and started my nurse training, by 19 I had my youngest sister & brother come to live with me .... one was to old for the childrens home and had nowwhere else to go, my youngest brother wanted to come live with us ... what could i do but say yes .............. so there I was at 19 MUM to two teenagers, in complete charge working and studying to be a nurse, running a home, and still a teen myself .............. the brother next in age to me cane to live with me a year later and 6 months after that, having had an arguement with his girlfirnd commited suicide in my home ......... so i did what I had done sinse I was 8, pulled up my big girl panties and soldiered on .... life carried very much on in the same vein until 29th July last year ...... me being the care giver ........... my overdose changed the way I approached the world .............. gone was the "Macho Woman" ..... instead I bagan to be gentler with myself, allowing myself to be the person I am inside, no longer do I have the compelling drive to prove myself to the world, no longer do i need to be the strong one, I am actually for the first time in my life, able to let the softer side of ME be and it's not as scarey as I thought :)