Is this common?

[NewDresser]

I love to dress and I think about how it would be great to have an accepting girlfriend that would help with my dressing but it seems anytime I start dating a woman I lose pretty much all desire to dress. Is this common? Could my dressing just be my way of coping with not having a girlfriend around?
I'd like to hear any theories or explanations anyone may have.

Thanks,
Caitlin

[Sihaya]

The same thing happened to me at first. I was so caught up with the initial, "hey, i got a girlfriend" and you dont want to give any opportunity for her to find out. so subconciously you stop doing it. Took me a good 6 months after the relationship going on for me to start dressing again. Then another 2 years before i came out to her.

Just give it time for you to see how you deal with it, thats the only way to really know how you react to it yourself

[BobbiJ]

It's fairly common to "throw yourself into" new things, and a relationship is no different. Chances are, when you start going out with a new girl, cross-dressing isn't the only thing you lose interest in, because you're focusing all your energies on the new relationship. Once the relationship becomes stable - "routine," if you will - your other interests will start coming back to you, including cross-dressing.

Your inner girl may go away for a vacation, but she always comes back eventually. So if you find yourself getting serious in a relationship, it's a good idea to make sure your GF knows. That way, you won't find yourself married for several years, with a child or two, and discovered en femme by a wife that may not be anywhere near as understanding as she might have been had you told her from the beginning.

Just my :2c:

[Karren H]

I don't remember giving it up for a new girl friend.. Matter of fact it sometimes it was the opposite, depending on what size lingerie she wore!! Lol.

[sarab]

It could also be a way of subconsciously avoiding having to have "that talk".

[queenie]

I never gave it up for a girlfriend either. It was always just there for me. I hid it a little better back then, but now I'm just honest with the women I date.

[JoAnne Wheeler]

I think that a whole lot of us thought that when we got married that our desire to crossdress would go away ------ it won't ! Been there.
Love,
JoAnne Wheeler

[AmandaM]

At first, it used to go away as I was wrapped up in the "sex fog", but the "pink fog" always came back.

[Nadia-Maria]

(...) it seems anytime I start dating a woman I lose pretty much all desire to dress. Is this common? Could my dressing just be my way of coping with not having a girlfriend around?


I can relate fairly well to your experiences, when younger. What doesn't mean our life experiences are at all similar.

When I was a teenager I was too shy to date whatever girl, and in fact had no real urge to date. I was almost not interested either in smalltalk or flirt with girls and, when I had time for myself I preferred running and cycling, reading, writing, fancying and dressing, etc.

As soon as I discovered sex and climax (not prior to aged 22 !) I began dating girls, but with very limited success. So that I mostly preferred dressing to dating. Because, as a rule dressing was the most rewarding. After a few disappointments in love, I even ceased to chase women and lived as a loner for more than 15 years (enjoying a few very demanding hobbies).

During that era I came to believe that I chose to dress as the best way to cope with my inability to find a serious mate : not completely false, but not very true either, because I was essentially transgendered and essentially needed dressing as a powerful mean to exteriorize my female self.

When I suddenly decided to change my way of life and to marry a woman, I was convinced that I would never need to dress again. Hence I purged all my stuff before the marriage (the only time I ever purged), and was having no urge at all to dress for the first 3 years of being married, till my (ex)wife lost most interest in sex just after having her child.
Having then to cope with the sex urge, I immediately went back to dressing.


Before I got the understanding of me being a TGirl, I had firmly associated in my mind the dilemmna : EITHER DATING (as male) OR DRESSING (as female).

I realize now there was no such dilemna. You can date whether undressed or dressed, and moreover dress as much as you want. It had been just wrong beliefs that I had had for decades.

[Barbaraheels]

I notice that when I start to get into relationships I tend to put my crossdressing on the backburner for at least a few weeks or months. Usually the urge comes back soon enough. Usually the relationship will end with nothing to do with me crossdressing. I always seem to look at the glass half full, telling my self that at least I have more time to dress.

[jasminecd]

over the years my dressing has come and gone also,meeting a new woman will direct your attention to "other" interests but eventually you'll find yourself putting on panties before you know it !! If its there ...... It stays there !!

[Mistybtm]

yes it happens to me as well but when it is over right back to it again.:daydreaming:

[Ashley83]

When I was dating my girlfriend of 3 years, (who was very supportive in my dressing) I found that as we faced problems with our intimate life, I would dress on a more frequent basis.

But when we were real spicy and didn't fight at all, I might go a week to a month without even thinking of dressing.

[jazmine]

Yeah,,,this would happen to me all the time when I was dating. I'd meet a girl, get really into her, and loose the desire to CX, thus throwing out all my stuff. But it never failed. IT ALWAYS CAME BACK!!!!!!!! You can run, but you can't hide!

[charlie]

Hello Caitlan!
The answer is yes. I stopped dressing entirely when I got a divorce and started dating my now wife. I never had the urge to even put on a pair of panties when I started dating. I dated my lady for a year and a half before asking her to marry me and never had any need or desire to CD. We got married and 7 happy years went by; and last year the pink fog and CD desires hit me like a steel hammer all over again. I just can't get away from it. The longest stretch I went for was with my first wife when I did not dress for 17 years.

[Maria2222]

The same thing happened to me several times including with my current wife. I think my CD drive gets overloaded with the new relationship and drops out, but it always comes back. Usually it takes several years though.
So, if you want to quit CDing. Just start a new love affair every two years for the rest of your life. LOL.

[Nicole Erin]

Yep it's normal, transsexuals do it all the time.
Some TS will find the woman of his/her dreams, and all the sudden they go back to being a man until the relationship breaks off a few months later and they they are back to CD'ing or TS'ing.

Happens all the time.

[Sally24]

You don't post your age but things can change as you get older. I always had a bit of the desire to dress but would go years between partial dressing times. When I hit 40 it tried to intensify and when I hit 50 it fairly exploded. I am out to a small handful of people now and go out regularly. Could be hormones, could just be the age, who knows?

[MsSamanthaErica]

I think the others responses are right here, but I had to say that once I went with a girl, we stayed in a hotel while she was in town. She tossed my underwear out the window, so I had to wear her panties instead. I still have them and every time I see them or wear them I think of her.

Hugs,
~Samantha

[Carly D.]

That's nothing.. one time (at band camp... just joking) I was with my friend and his sister and we were driving home late at night and some how I got her to take her bra off while driving down the road.. and I put it back with me and we went into our town and made her brother walk.. and I put her bra on, with her help (I don't know how to wear this thing, good one).. then I took it off gave her an excuse as to why I needed to borrow her bra.. this didn't surprise her.. she saw me wearing pantyhose one other time earlier..

[CharlotteW]

"Is this common"....

OK, I'm as p11s3d as a f4rt at the moment, but my mind works better when pickled:)

Let me ask, do you really like women? Do you like them so much that any small amount of femininity gets your attention? Perhaps a woman in shoes and stockings, maybe just shoes and a skirt gets your attention. Please tell.

Regards

[Cathytg]

I have found that there are several events in life that will cause me to drop dressing; try having your first child. However, it always comes back. So, my answer to your question is this: Yes, it does seem to be normal. I would not assume that your dressing days are over. I would even go so far as to suggest that you take her into your world. It is, after all, your world.