Crossdressing and personal choice

[emmicd]

As a crossdresser do you desire going out and seeking places to go and sharing the experience or do you prefer to just have some quiet time away from family and friends and be alone to just take it all in?

Do you choose to dress or is it more a need that just resides with you and when you do it you feel good?

I feel good spending time with my family and friends and I don't need to be dressed en femme.

I don't even need to crossdress when I go out and I very rarely do crossdress except when I'm wearing jeans. I will only wear girl's jeans as I feel a better fit in them.

However when I have the need to crossdress it is a personal need and I only do it when I'm alone and my family are sleeping or out for the day.

I tried to stop crossdressing and concluded that it is not likely in my lifetime.

emmi

[Lorileah]

wow heavy

Do I need to dress? No I can and have lived without it. I just like the feel and the way I look. I am still looking for the person who can give me logical explanation why I cant wear a skirt to work or just daily.

Do I want to be alone? No I like going out and showing off. :)

[sometimes_miss]

It's not whether it's a need or not, like eating or breathing. It's more about how we feel if we omit it from our lives. When I'm not in a relationship, or if I'm in one and it's starting to fall apart, suppressing the desire to crossdress makes me absent minded, short tempered, and just generally uncomfortable, as my mind searches for ways to combat the unpleasant thoughts. Sure, for me it's kind of a defense mechanism to stress. Not exactly one of Freud's, but one none the less. When I dress up, my mind is focused entirely on that; once dressed, the sensations and stimuli from the 'outfit', wig, jewelry, heels, etc., and who I pretend myself to be completely over ride thoughts of anything unpleasant going on in 'real life'. Sure, I'm in a fantasy world of sorts for a period; but that's exactly where I prefer to be for a little while.

[billie earls]

Do I need to cross dress, yes. Do I want to go out into the world as Billie, no. I don't want or need to share this part of my life with friends or relatives, its been my secret from them for just about my entire life and I think I want to keep it that way. Its not that its a shame issue but one that scares me in that I will lose them if they found out. They are like most people in that they think they are open minded as long as they don't have a personal association with it. Since I found this site 5 can now share and be a part of a community that accepts me so I don't feel the need to tell them any thing.

[Emily01]

speaking only for me, i become depressed if i don't and am much happier when i do. i love to go out and would like company from time to time. i enjoy Emily very, very much and as i've aged she has become more important to me. best i can do to answer your question.

[jeenie67]

I like to shake it up a bit! Throw a little competition at the opposite sex. Fun...wow!! I enjoy being my natural self. Out and about. I'm a lady at heart, maybe it was because I was the only boy out of six children...who knows. I'm now dressed all the time in some way or another except for classes, there I'm in typical current college wear...unisex by all, but I don't remove my nail extensions or polish, check my movements too much, or care if a little mascara still shows. Haven't been a question yet by anyone or ill remarks...nothing but normal interpersonal relations with everyone.....cool!

[Angela Dressing]

I really dont know why I dress. I like the feel of the clothes but not enough to expose my self(outing myself) and start building a wardrobe. I have hid this secret since I was about 13 or so and Im on the front-stretch of 40 and the only one who knows is my mom when she caught me in the beginning and would probably be suprised now. I get in the mood to dress but doesn't get any farther then getting dressed, no make-up, hair or nails, I drive a truck and on long nights of driving I can have fantacies of outing and having dress-up times with no secrets, but only in my dreams. :daydreaming:

[Karren H]

Once you go out enfemme... Hanging around the house all dolled up just doesn't cut it any more!! And for me at least.. Crossdressing is a solo sport!! No wife involved or family or really any friends... Its about the only thing I have where I get to make all the decessions!! How many times have you heard "you going to wear that?". Lol. I can wear what I want where I want!

[erickka]

I too don't need to dress, but prefer to do so, mainly because it is very relaxing, and besides...some of the materials in women's clothing is just so wonderful feeling. As for the time doing it..mainly alone It's the peace and solitude thing.

[Joy Carter]

Now that I'm able to dress and have my own stuff, it's no big deal anymore. I do however, wish I could dress all the time in my clothes. But I have to consider my wife's feelings on the matter.

[JoAnne Wheeler]

Do I NEED to dress ? ABSOLUTELY !!! I get real surly when I cannot dress.
JoAnne Wheeler

[beenherelongtime]

do i need to crossdress, today no. not sure how i felt when younger.

[docrobbysherry]

Playing dress up! Pretending to be a girl, a woman. Trying to be beautiful, sexy, desirable!:daydreaming:

Changing sexes, identities, physical bodies! OMG! Playing make believe, imagining u r someone else, then making it come tru!:eek:

A fairy princess, exotic dancer, ballerina, famous actress, opera singer, hooker, tramp, school girl at her prom, queen at the ball!:)
Children's games I never played, or even thot about when I was young. Now, I can play and fool myself into thinking it's real! :heehee:

Childish or stress relief? For me, maybe a fountain of youth? Who knows, who cares? I'm having fun in my old age and am NOT bothering anyone else!:D

[Samantha43]

Yes, I do need to dress. Can I do without it if I have to? Yes.......

Everyone is different, we all have different needs. Several years ago I went out a few times. It was actually kind of a letdown for me. It wasn't nearly as much fun as I thought it would be. I got that out of my system, and now I am perfectly happy staying at home. This is something I do for myself. I don't need or want to include anyone else. It's how I enjoy those rare times when I have some "me" time.

[Carly D.]

I could have pushed the quote button on just about every one that has replied to this.. I feel a wanting to go out while dressed but I don't.. not in public at any rate.. I go out dressed in the back yard when there's nearly no chance of being caught.. so night time and when I can see both neighbors are gone.. but I do dress in private and it is also a must dress.. for me, dressing sometimes is a must.. sometimes I can wear shoes only and that's enough.. sometimes pantyhose or tights with the shoes and then there's the times when I just gotta go all out and dress as fem head to toe as possible.. I think every cross dresser has their least amount for that feeling.. umm.. yeah.. you know?? you know...

[sabrina mercedes]

I have a great desire to dress. I can and have stopped for some time, but I find that dressing provides a release of emotion and stress. This "valve" has become a necessary part of my person.
I will dress only in private. I have been out, but only alone and only where no one can see me. I don't have passability, although I try deligently.
I will always be closeted out of respect for others and myself.
:):kiss:

[Jess_cd32]

....................However when I have the need to crossdress it is a personal need and I only do it when I'm alone and my family are sleeping or out for the day.

I tried to stop crossdressing and concluded that it is not likely in my lifetime.

emmi

I also know its not "going away" anytime soon, hopefully never for me.
I'd like to have my SO involved in makeup and just having fun with me cd-ing but thats highly unlikely. I enjoy mostly though like you, alone and when there's free time, which there never seems to be enough of.

[Katrina red nails]

Yes i believe it is a need for me to dress. I certainly miss it when i can't dress for too long a period. I do however accept the boundaries my wife and I have agreed but i would be lying if I said I never want the boundaries to be more relaxed.
As I have posted elsewhere the feel of the materials and the general relaxed feelings i get when dressed are the main enjoyment for me.

[Nicki B]

(I know Katie B has posted a more complex version, but..) I've posted before about how gender dysphoria has at least three forms, or axes - one is about self-image (what you see, in the mirror), one is about body image (breasts, genitals, feeling right), another about how others see and treat you?

We do not all have the same amounts of each type, which explains why going out and being part of society is very important to some?

[RylieCD]

I was just thinking about starting a similiar thread. Is it a choice - sometimes but if I surpress the feelings the desire grows. so overall being a CD/TG (whatever) is not a choice, it is just who I am. If was a choice I would have stopped long ago.

I do desire going out, mainly because I try to be an active person, so when I dress I feel like I am a caged animal that wants to get out. But I do not want to be seen and be teased by others (been there done that).

[Joanne Curl]

I need to crossdress. Although because I'm in the closet I don't get to as often as I need to. As a matter of fact I haven't had the opportunity to dress in over a month. Having this forum helps alot because I get to be Joanne while I'm here. It is a "need" though because, like many of you, I've purged and tried to stop many times. I always come back. I know now that it's part of me and I can't change my need to dress and to let my feminine side show from time to time.

[JennyBaby]

I think that dressing is just a part of me. When I am dressed, I feel as though I am fully a woman and I love that feeling. I also must go out in public, but I think I pass pretty easily, so it is extra fun!

[gretchen_love]

For me it comes and goes. I can have a month where I don't think about anything remotely related to dressing, and also have a week where that is all i think about.

It is an escape for me, and it is all me time. I haven't ever dressed in front of anyone, and I have no real desire to. It may be because I don't own a wig or make up, but I don't feel the need to go out or the need to pass.

[Jenniferpl]

I need to wear something feminine. I have worn panties 24/7 for over 10 years now. When I am not wearing a bra, it seems like all I think about is wearing one. When I wear a bra, my brain seems to relax allowing to concentrate on other things. Nothing else seems to have that same effect. I can live without dresses, skirts, blouses, etc. What I can not do without is bras and panties. I have tried and with the help of my wife came to the realization that I am a cross dresser. Being feminine makes feel like a woman and I like that feeling.

It does seems to be personal. I have no desire to go in public and really do not want family and friends to know.

[Gabrielle Hermosa]

Does a music lover need to listen to and/or create music, or can they simply give it up and be done with it as if it is a switch that is easily turned on and off?

I've "given up" crossdressing a few times. I know many of us have. The problem is - it doesn't give me up. Society has an overall non-acceptance of this kind of thing. There's really nothing wrong with it and it is perfectly natural for us, just like music is to many people. Only music is not a social-taboo, but crossdressing is. Who gets to decide this stuff, anyway? I know everyone collectively enforces it now, but who started it in the first place?? Why couldn't they pick on coconut covered chocolates or something else instead. Can't stand coconut. :heehee:

I'm done trying to fight what I am. I don't want to stop, and don't think I could permanently anyway. When I dress up, I feel at peace and calm. I feel right. I feel like me. I just do it at home by myself or around my wife. I haven't ventured out into the world dressed up yet, but when I do, it will probably be just me and my wife someplace quiet and private.

[Cary]

For me CDing is both. I can't go thru a single day without thinking about dressing. Almost every woman I see, I'm looking at her clothes wondering how I would look in them. About one of the only times I don't think about women's clothing is when I'm around family and friends. It's like I'm two deffent people. There have been times I could have dressed but didn't. CDing is a privite thing for me. Rightnow I don't want to share it with anyone I in my life. The people I know and love have a tendecy to use things to hurt you or Raz you at any given time. I don't want to give anymore amunition. Most of my life is an open book to those around me. I just want to have something for myself. When and if I go out dressed again, it will be a slow proccess.

[KarenS]

I love to go out but am crazy paranoid so only when there is no one around or I can be comepletly anonymous from a distance to only a few.

Do I need to dress? Today - no. Last week - yeah I had too. Tomorrow You bet ya. I've been waiting for a chance for about three days (last time I dressed) and it's driving me nuts.

I'm adicted to nylon - panties, hose and anything else you can make with it that fits on a woman's body.

[charlie]

Hello Emmi!
I thought that I could get away from having to dress if I wanted. It just isn't so. I love dressing and want to do it more then my 4 days each month that I go away on business. I also share my dressing by going out to venues and places where I feel comfortable.

[Cathytg]

Is it a need? I guess that just depends upon what you mean by a "need". Certainly I can continue to live without it and I have done so more than once for several years at a time.

But that's just the point: I have quit several times. I rather imagine that most of you have also. I that respect it is a bit like smoking.

But the argument lies in the fact that I - and you - have come back time and again. And that is where dressing and smoking part company. Do we come back because we need to dress? I really don't know; I am not that smart. But I feel that the motivation for dressing lies somewhere in our individual gender self-perceptions. I did NOT say sexual. I think that dressing becomes an easily recognized expression and outlet for our own feminine needs. Those feminine aspects of our selves may well be expressed as needs; dressing is just a very simple means of satisfying those very basic urges.

Maybe

[Prissy Linda]

For me it is a real need, If I can't dress or at least wear something feminine I feel I am not being who I am, does that make sense? My wife has noticed that I am not generally as happy so she will tell me to go put on some makeup or we will do each others nails, my toenails only if it's not the weekend. She also enjoys our girl time, plus she says i am just easier to be with.

Linda